by MJ Howson
“Tell me what to do,” Dawn said as she cautiously stepped outside. The wind slammed against her, almost pushing her back into her bedroom. She gripped the doorframe as she tried to calm herself. Seeing Eve so close to the railing caused her heart to nearly stop. “I’ll do anything, Jacob. Anything to save my baby.”
“Your baby?” Jacob glanced at Eve and then back to Dawn. He wiggled the doll back and forth. “This here is your baby?”
“Yes.” Dawn took another guarded step onto the terrace.
A scowl spread across Jacob’s face, adding to the look of disgust already there. The red light from above faded to black. The light soon returned, showing Jacob’s arm extended over the railing. Eve was now dangling upside down with nothing below her. Jacob smiled a twisted grin and said, “You’ll thank me tomorrow. Trust me.”
Eve’s eyes snapped open. Dawn watched in horror as Jacob let go of Eve. Dawn felt like she was back in her nightmare, where the world around her moved in slow motion. Suddenly, Eve vanished–lost in the blackness of the night.
“No!” Dawn cried, her scream echoing in the night. She rushed to the railing and looked over the edge. The cold wind cut across her skin like tiny razors, sending her long black and white hair whipping sideways. Tears fell down her face blurring her vision as she realized Eve was gone.
Jacob walked past Dawn and into the bedroom. She followed him but stopped beside her bed, her body shaking as shock consumed her. Jacob headed to the hallway, completely unfazed by what he’d done. Dawn, drowning in disbelief, fell to her knees and howled, “You killed my baby!”
Thirty Eight
Scarred
The hallway outside the door to Jacob’s apartment felt cold and damp. Jacob stood there, staring at his keys as he tried to collect his thoughts. He rarely second-guessed the choices he made, no matter how big or small. In his mind, mistakes were never regretted, but rather lessons learned. He’d gone to Dawn’s to see if they had a future together. What happened at the Spire had him a bit stunned. Seeing Dawn interact with Eve as if it were her baby still sickened him. Throwing that doll from the balcony may have been unplanned, but it was the best way to end things with her. Jacob knew there was no way he could ever be with Dawn. That door was now closed. He had to move forward.
Once inside, Jacob looked around the small, simply furnished, dimly lit apartment and sighed. He couldn’t help but compare it to Dawn’s extravagant penthouse. Jacob reminded himself that even this dumpy place would no longer be his home much longer. He tore his jacket off and flung it onto the couch.
The thermostat in the hallway showed the temperature set to sixty-eight degrees. Jacob frowned and bumped it up to seventy-five. He noticed flashes of light coming from beneath Sean’s bedroom door. Jacob went to the kitchen, unbuttoned his shirt, and yanked the bottom free from his jeans. An open, empty box of pizza sat atop the stove, filling the room with the scent of garlic and pepperoni. A bottle of Patron Silver waited in the shadows beneath the kitchen cabinets. Jacob grabbed the tequila, twisted the cap off, and took a chug. The burn from the alcohol warmed his chest.
“What the fuck do I do now?” Jacob said.
Part of him wanted to smash the bottle in anger. Instead, he took another swig and walked over to Sean’s door. Jacob flung the door open to find Sean in his usual spot, flat on his stomach playing X-Box. The small television at the foot of the bed showed some type of sci-fi game. Sean’s headphones, clipped tightly to his head, made his roommate oblivious to Jacob’s entrance. Jacob knelt on the bed and yanked the earphones from Sean’s head.
“Hey!” Sean yelled, pausing his game. “You scared the shit out of me.”
“Someone could rob this place, and you’d have no idea what was happening.”
Jacob flopped on the bed beside Sean and took another swig of tequila. He ran his thumb along the lip of the bottle, replaying his encounter with Dawn.
“Why are you back?” Sean asked. He tossed his controller and headphones aside and sat back next to Jacob. “Did your old lady reject you again?”
“Enough, Sean.” Jacob held the open bottle to the scar on his lip, slowly and methodically rubbing the rim against the old injury. He lowered the bottle and sighed. “I thought there might be a chance, you know? With Dawn. But she’s. . . too fucked up.” Jacob tilted the bottle back, allowing the alcohol to run across his tongue and down his throat. He winced and said, “Like her mother.”
“What do you mean?”
Jacob looked over at Sean. His roommate looked and sounded genuinely concerned. Jacob held the bottle out and waited. Sean slowly took the tequila and then snapped his head back and took a swig. He immediately began to cough.
“It’s that stupid doll of hers.”
“What about it?”
“She’s talking to it. And it talks back.”
“What?” Sean’s eyes widened in disbelief. He took another sip and passed the bottle back to Jacob. “It’s possessed?”
“No.” Jacob briefly closed his eyes as he recounted Dawn’s desperate screams to save Eve. “Well, if it was, I never heard the thing talk.”
“Was?”
Jacob smiled as he remembered how good it felt to drop Eve from the terrace. He stared at his bottle, lost in his thoughts, and said, “I tried, Sean, I really tried. I went there with dinner so we could work things out. She told me the doll told her I was a liar and couldn’t be trusted.”
“The doll told her that?”
Jacob nodded and said, “That’s just the start. It turns out she’s been deceiving me all along. I found out she’s been taking fertility pills behind my back.”
“Holy shit.” Sean edged closer to Jacob. “Why . . . why would she do that?”
“Who knows. Things escalated. I couldn’t calm her down. She just kept screaming at me, saying the doll was now her baby. I gave up and left.” Jacob took a swig of tequila. “End of story.”
“I’m sorry, Jacob.” Sean placed a comforting hand on Jacob’s shoulder. “It sounds like she was just using you.”
“I know. I’m such a fool.”
“Don’t say that.”
“I keep trusting people I shouldn’t.” Jacob instinctively ran his fingertips across the scar on his face. “I thought we had a future together. How many times have I said you need to invest in the future you want? What a waste. I was wrong. Again.”
“You . . . you deserve better.” Sean took the bottle from Jacob and took another shot. “Why let yourself be used like that? All that money you spent on her.”
“I was trying to operate at her level.”
“You shouldn’t have to.”
Jacob reached over and took Sean’s hand. He raised it to his face, pushing Sean’s fingers against the long scar that ran from below his eye and through his lips. Jacob held Sean’s hand there and said, “Nobody wants this.”
Sean shook his head as he pulled his hand away. He said, “Are you joking? Look at you. You’ve got this incredible body. And as screwed up as Dawn was, there was a time when she was chasing you. I see how people look at you. Even with the scar, you’re super handsome.”
“You think I’m handsome?” Jacob arched an eyebrow and smiled at his roommate.
Sean’s cheeks blushed, and he looked away. He said, “All I mean is there’s more to you than just a scar.”
“Thanks.” Jacob put his arm around Sean and pulled him close so that their heads rested together. “It’s hard though, you know? Every time I look in the mirror, I’m reminded of my past. Always.”
The two sat there, side by side, for several seconds in complete silence. Sean grabbed the nearby remote, turned off the TV, and asked, “How . . . did you get it? The scar.”
Jacob sighed and took another shot of Patron. The liquid felt so relaxing as it burned its way down his throat. After all that wine and now the tequila, Jacob had a strong buzz going. He closed his eyes and allowed himself to recall the sting of the blade slicing through his face. Jacob took another sip of b
ooze and passed the bottle to Sean.
“Five years ago, I was about to make the jump from modeling to acting,” Jacob said.
“Really? Wow. You never told me that.”
“Yup.” Jacob allowed his eyes to settle on his reflection in the television at the foot of the bed. “I was going to be the next big action star. My agent had everything lined up for me. He promised it was a done deal.”
“So, what happened?”
“He insisted we sign the paperwork at his place. That should have been the first warning sign. Anyway, he promised me the world, you know? I had this sweet supporting role lined up first, but he said it was only a matter of time before I’d become a headliner. Maybe even a superhero. There was just one little thing he needed from me to cement the deal.”
“One little . . . . Shit. Is this going to be one of those hashtag me too things?”
“You got it.” Jacob turned and looked deeply into Sean’s eyes. “Look, Sean, I can be as kinky and erotic as the next person. Men. Women. It makes no difference. Nobody fucks like me. But there are some things I just won’t do.”
“What . . . what did he want you to do?”
“He . . . he . . . .” Jacob took another shot of Patron and sighed. “It doesn’t matter. There was no way I was going to be used by him. I . . . I just couldn’t do it. And deep down, I knew if I did, he would just come back later demanding more. He was setting me up to be his bitch. So, I told him no. Never.”
“Good for you.”
Jacob’s grip on the bottle tightened, and he said, “He shredded the contract. Right in front of my face.”
“What?” Sean’s jaw stayed open as he stared at Jacob. “Why?”
“Because he could. He held all the power. He told me he’d blacklist me, too. He’d tell every agent in Hollywood I couldn’t be trusted.”
“What did you do?”
“I . . . I lost it.” Jacob felt his heart begin to reverberate faster and louder in his chest as he tried to keep the memories away. “We got into a fight. A literal fight. Furniture got broken and shit. That room was trashed. At some point, he grabbed a knife. I remember him telling me he could end all my careers. He picked up the phone and called 911, claiming he had an intruder in the house. I backed off and started to leave. And then . . . .” Jacob pointed to the scar on his face. “He did this.”
Jacob slowly sunk into the pillow behind him, his mind spinning with the images of that horrific night. It was the only time in his life he’d gone into total shock. The buzz from the alcohol only made the memories that much harder to process. He took a deep breath to calm himself down.
“Was he arrested?” Sean asked, breaking Jacob’s trance-like stare.
Jacob sighed and shook his head. He looked at Sean and said, “Quite the opposite. He threatened to have me arrested. He let me leave before the cops arrived. I went to the closest hospital and told them I was mugged.”
“What? That’s bullshit.”
“Welcome to the world of the power elites, Sean. I should have seen it coming. The guy constantly fawned all over me. But I played the game. I wanted that contract.” Jacob closed his eyes and recalled the future stolen from him. “I wanted that life.”
“I’m so sorry, Jacob.”
“Thanks.” Jacob opened his eyes, sat up, and propped his chin in his hand. “The shitty part is that I went on a spending spree a week before signing the contract. I mean, it was a done deal. I went wild, buying clothes, jewelry, cars. I even signed a lease on a sweet place in West Hollywood. I racked up so much debt. I’m. . . . I’m still paying it off.”
“Wow.” Sean scratched his head and frowned. “How . . . how much do you owe?”
“Too much. Every month I have to make that payment.”
“Oh.” The bed creaked as Sean slouched and appeared lost in his thoughts. After a few moments, he looked at Jacob and asked, “Is . . . is that why you’re always late with the rent?”
Jacob nodded and said, “I mean, I spent a lot on Dawn. I really did try my best to give her what I thought she deserved.”
“Did she know?”
“About my debt? No. I never even told her how I got the scar. Some things are better kept secret, you know?”
“Sure.”
Jacob watched the blood drain and shift in Sean’s pasty skin until his cheeks became bright red. Sean lowered his head and looked away as he fidgeted with the blanket resting beneath him.
“What?” Jacob asked.
“Nothing. I was just, um, thinking.”
“About?” Jacob took another swig of Patron as he studied his roommate’s sudden change in tone. “Spit it out, Sean.”
“Well, you have all those clients, right?”
“My gym clients? What about them?”
“Not those.” Sean’s eyes wandered the room in desperation. He clenched his fists and then scratched at his chin. In a thin voice, he said, “I . . . I know about your other ones.”
“Oh?” The memories of the assault from years ago quickly melted away. He turned and looked down at his distraught-looking roommate. Jacob leaned closer to Sean and asked, “What, exactly, do you know?”
Thirty Nine
Broken
Dawn’s hands trembled as she ran her fingers across the pages of Eve’s diary. She’d spent the past hour curled beside her bed, reliving the children’s birthday parties. Dawn closed the book and held the worn leather against her nose. The marks gracing the cover smelled of charred wood. She pressed her lips against the diary and said, “This is all I have left to remember you by.”
The old jewelry box sitting beside Dawn suddenly felt very personal to her. She placed the book back inside the cedar-lined case and slid it beneath the bed. Dawn sighed as she stood up and walked back to the patio door. The wind outside continued to howl and whistle. Her eyes burned red with tears as she stared through the glass. The Spire’s beacon continued to pulsate, illuminating the exterior walls and railing in a deep red hue.
“I’ll never forgive you for this, Jacob.” Dawn pressed her hand against the door and closed her eyes. The image of Jacob dropping Eve over the side of the balcony played in her mind on an endless loop. She opened her eyes and gazed at the empty terrace. “Never.”
Pieces of shattered doorframe littered the bedroom floor. Dawn tiptoed barefoot through the debris and made her way to the private elevator in the hallway. When she reached the main floor, she went to the kitchen. Her hands trembled as she struggled to open a bottle of wine. Dawn allowed her eyes to drift toward the main terrace.
“Eve,” Dawn said, a tinge of hope in her voice. She shoved the bottle aside. Her heart raced as she ran past the dining room and to the wall of windows. Dawn pressed her face to the glass and let her eyes scan the furniture scattered across the balcony. “Could you . . . .”
Dawn went to the door, opened it, and stepped onto the balcony. The wind howled as it ripped past her. As she searched the area, her hope quickly faded. Eve was nowhere to be found. Dawn inched closer to the railing and craned her neck over the edge. The drop to the High Line felt dizzying. Down below in the darkness, the elevated walkway looked like twisted pieces of faded multi-colored yarn snaking between the scattered buildings. Lampposts highlighted different sections, as did nearby illuminated windows. Try as she might, Dawn couldn’t make out any details. She went back inside, closed the door, and said, “I wonder.”
Dawn raced to the front door and entered the lobby. She didn’t bother to grab her shoes or coat. Dawn jammed her finger repeatedly against the elevator button. Her hands trembled with each press. The doors shimmied as the express car made its way up to the penthouse. Dawn struggled to figure out where Eve could have landed. The doors opened. She stepped inside and immediately pressed the button for the pool deck.
On the way down, Dawn grappled to regain her composure. She was still in shock at what Jacob had done. She told herself that maybe Eve had survived. Maybe she’d caught one of the Spire’s curved concrete supp
ort beams and rode it to a safe area. The pool deck jutted out from the side of the building. Beyond that, the glass awning above the sidewalk could have caught her. At worse, Eve may have blown onto the High Line and settled in a lush bed of grass. Eve didn’t weigh that much. Maybe, just maybe, she survived.
The doors opened. Dawn ran down the hallway that led to the back of the building with the gym, spa, and pool. Her heart raced as she flung the door open and stepped outside. The wind at ground level was almost nonexistent, but the polished terrazzo tile surrounding the pool felt ice cold on her bare feet. She quickly ran from chair to chair, checking on and under each one. Dawn even inspected the landscaped pots and beds scattered throughout the area. When she thought all was lost, she crept over to the pool, dropped to her knees, and looked inside. Eve wasn’t there. Dawn stood up and wiped tears from her cheeks. She said, “Where could you have gone?”
A seven-foot-tall curved concrete and steel wall ran along the perimeter of the patio. Dawn dragged a patio table to the back wall and climbed to the top. A cantilevered glass and steel awning separated the Spire from the High Line. She pulled herself to the top of the wall and searched but couldn’t see Eve. Her eyes focused on the nearby High Line.
Dawn threw herself over the wall, desperately grasping the top edge. She dangled from the side and then let go, landing on the awning. The canopy’s six-foot-square glass panels were supported by steel beams. Dawn pressed a single bare foot against the nearest panel to test its strength. The glass appeared thick, but Dawn didn’t want to take a chance due to the thirty-foot drop to the sidewalk below.
The steel support beams were brutally cold against Dawn’s feet. The fifteen-foot distance to the edge of the High Line felt like eighty feet as she cautiously made her way across the awning. She paused halfway and looked down at the sidewalk far below. The world around her seemed to spin, and the distance that remained felt insurmountable. Dawn closed her eyes and used the cold steel beneath her feet to guide her the rest of the way. The wind whipped around her, doing its best to knock her down. When her toe slide against the raised edge of the outer beam, she paused and opened her eyes. A two-foot gap separated the canopy from the High Line, with a metal and wire fence running along the elevated walkway.