by Y. R. Shin
“It might end earlier than you think.”
“I hope so. I have been transferred to the west in your place. I prefer this peaceful place to the battlefield. I finally got a nice position out of Chief Manager Rijeyes, and look what it amounted to. I’ll just have to quickly finish everything before they take away my spot at the administrative office. You should come back safe and sound as well.”
Kalajesh was a man with talent, good with swords and well read, and hence was recognized as a government official and as a knight. But he himself wanted to take an assistant administrative position and become a high official rather than spreading his name as a knight who wielded a sword. To Paseid, who knew this about Kalajesh very well, his friend’s disappointment could be clearly felt.
In addition to that, the reason Kalajesh was dispatched this time was that they needed someone to take Paseid’s place while he was gone, and mediate the disputes with the Galkamas near Rokland.
This war could very well become a war where no one could make any predictions even by the day, but Paseid mostly wanted to end it as soon as possible and return. There was enough war just with the daily disputes happening on the northwestern border. And the fact that Kalajesh had to leave west in his place was uncomfortable for both Kalajesh and Paseid, even if it was indeed the king’s decree.
“Was it six years ago that I last visited Rokland? A lot of fun things happened then.”
“It has changed a lot,” said Paseid. “Commander Tur will provide you with all the information regarding the region. I have sent a messenger to him last night in advance, so he will be of good use if you take him as your advisor.”
“Yes, well. I’ve already heard that much, but I’ll keep it in mind. And Sichin started acting amicably recently. If they join forces with us, it shouldn’t be too hard. By the way, is it true that Count Haldroff volunteered for the Great Battle against Morgana? Seems like it will be a big one, considering that Vinsen, who was on bad terms with him, is also joining. Oh, have you sent a message to Sir Winford?”
Castro Vander Winford was a Rarkian knight who was once widely known as a master-like figure for Kalajesh and Paseid when they were boys. Terendoke held the symbolic title of the best knight in Rarke, but in reality, the best knight in Rarke was him until ten years ago.
Paseid gave a genuine answer from his heart. “Sir Winford has already retired, so I cannot dare bother him too. He’s not someone who would gladly come back because someone called him, either.”
“Well, that is true. He must be old now. I haven’t even properly sent my greetings in a while. I’ve been too busy. Have you talked to him at all?”
Paseid shook his head. “It’s been a while since I’ve heard from him as well.”
“Maybe it would be good to pay him a visit next time.” Kalajesh ended the topic with a comment that sounded like something said for the sake of formality, even though he knew that he would not have time for that, then suddenly changed the subject. “By the way, what’s happening with the wedding?”
Paseid, who was walking a little ahead of Kalajesh, slowed down, then came to a complete stop.
Kalajesh was looking at him with a comfortable smile just like usual. But Paseid could easily read the complex thoughts embedded in that smile. Paseid pretended not to know that the reason Kalajesh visited him was not just to say hello.
“It will have to happen after this war’s ended.”
“Elhien came last night and bawled her eyes out. She was truly disheartened that you do not visit her, not even once. Take some care.”
Paseid let out a light sigh instead of an answer. Kalajesh was one of the many nobles in the capital who adored Elhien. If Kalajesh hadn’t said the next thing so firmly, Paseid would not have answered at all.
“Paseid, you have a lot of things I do not have.”
“Kalajesh.”
“Unlike me, who has not succeeded the house yet, you are already a lord who leads a house and a land, a knight, and the guardian of the borders. Yes, you must be busy. But it’s not just because you’re busy. I know you’re still pondering and just indefinitely pushing it back. I know why as well. Laperovahan is a name we both are inevitably averse to. But that’s not Elhien’s fault. Eslan…”
“Enough.”
“I know better than anyone that you’re not as cold as you seem on the outside, no matter how you act. Don’t do this to me too. You’re honestly uncomfortable with leaving Elhien like that too, aren’t you?”
Kalajesh sounded like he meant it as a joke. But Paseid lowered his gaze, feeling like he didn’t want to hear what was to come next.
“I know that you’re making sacrifices. I know that very well. But you should accept it if it’s not something you can avoid. And stop torturing the people around you. Elhien only has eyes for you.” Kalajesh ended in the lightest tone possible. But he could still not stop the air growing heavier.
To be honest, Kalajesh didn’t feel all that comfortable about urging him like this. It was true that he cared about Elhien like he would a sister, but Paseid was his old friend too. Kalajesh was one of the few people who knew the true reason Paseid kept pushing back the wedding regardless of his age, which he did not reveal to anyone.
But wouldn’t it be better to get it done and over with if it was inevitable? That was all he thought. Elhien was a girl worthy of a better treatment. Not just because she was of a high, noble birth. She was beautiful, indeed, but she was surprisingly mature and wise for her age. Of course, she would revert to a child of her age when she was with Jacalrin and would sometimes cry and say something spiteful, but that was because Jacalrin acted so imprudently. It was quite surprising how Jacalrin had a peculiar talent in undoing the reins of patience with everyone he engaged with.
What Kalajesh felt the most as he watched Elhien grow more mature by the year was sympathy. Because she loved her betrothed, who was far older than her, she’d given up on the behavior that she could indulge in at her age.
Of course, it could be that she was intentionally acting mature because she was aware that she was the daughter of the prime minister, that she held the name Laperovahan, and that she was certain she would become a duchess in the future. Since people had their own complicated reasons, regardless of their age.
Because of the destiny the adults had decided upon when she was very young, Elhien’s life inevitably revolved around becoming Paseid’s wife. So, who could blame her? It was only a matter of course, since she lived her life looking only at one person.
It was truly a hard thing to watch Paseid slink away into a deeper place by his side as Elhien’s heart grew fonder. He would much rather have them get married as soon as possible and settle down with each other.
Knowing that repeating the same thing would be of no use, Kalajesh still couldn’t stop trying to persuade him.
“I don’t know how much longer you’re planning on making her wait with this excuse and that, but I don’t want to see Elhien with her heart aching because of you anymore. And…I do not think there is a reason for Elhien to take responsibility for the faults of Laperovahan and Bant.”
Recognizing a reproach hiding at the end, Paseid felt a surge of anger. “Kalajesh, I don’t think that’s something you need to interfere with.”
Kalajesh’s green eyes looking deep into Paseid’s dimmed with resignation. “You may think I have no right to say such things, but that kind of attitude still affects me in a negative way. We Chesa do just watch from the side, as we are neutral, but we are still affected, since the nobles in the capital sway spinelessly whenever a rumor of discord comes from Bant of Palan.”
He couldn’t not know what the meaning of that was.
Feeling drained, Paseid covered his forehead with one hand and slightly turned his head away. “I will make certain of my attitude once this war ends. I promise you.”
Kalajesh grinned and shook his head. “You should say that to Elhien, not me.”
Even after hearing what he wanted to hear,
he still felt uncomfortable. Not many eldest sons of high noble families married out of love, true, but the burden Paseid had to take on was a particularly heavy one. He felt a little indebted to Paseid.
Kalajesh and Paseid concluded the topic and had a bit more small talk about Morgana, planned movements, predictions, things about Galkama, and about southern tributary countries. Though they were simply exchanging opinions in an informal setting, the time flew by just by listening to Kalajesh’s various opinions, for he was as well versed as Paseid, or perhaps even more so, in facts based in theoretical principles.
Kalajesh soon left because of an urgent message regarding the work related to the organization of the army that was to depart to Rokland in the northwest. Intuiting that this was the last time they would meet before the war began, Kalajesh and Paseid shared a long handshake.
After seeing Kalajesh out, Paseid washed himself and headed to the hydrangea garden. Though he was not too hung up on what Kalajesh had said, it was true that he was reflecting on his own shortcomings with the war now at his doorstep.
War.
Recalling that oddly calmed his heart and made it pound at the same time.
Instead of sitting down at the table Halman prepared for him and spending the time in meditation, Paseid stood in front of the white wall. His rough hands uncovered the fabric laid on the frame. Soon, his black eyes gazed at the faded, odd texture of the portrait.
Something odd gushed up in his chest. A frustrating memory popped up with it.
Recently, he’d committed the rude act of grabbing Elhien’s wrist without her permission for showing interest in this. Then, he had discourteously sent the startled girl back home, like he was banishing her. It might have created a bigger bruise in her fragile heart. Furthermore, he hadn’t even apologized because he completely erased her from his mind with the excuse that he was busy. That was probably the reason Elhien was even more upset.
Because of this.
Regardless of his mood, the woman smiling most elegantly looked at him from inside the frame. The years had weathered off the paint and now he could only barely make out what each color was supposed to be, but her figure was still clear as day.
The woman in the portrait was truly beautiful, and that in turn made his mood fall even faster. But a tumult hindered Paseid’s quiet rumination.
“My lady, my lady! You cannot go in there without permission…!”
He heard the voice of a young girl he hadn’t permitted to enter. Elhien almost threw open the unlocked doors of the Garden of Hydrangea, rushed in, panting, and then stopped not far away from Paseid.
“I met big Sir Chesa. I heard that you were here, Your Grace… No, first, I apologize. Forgive me for visiting you right away upon hearing that you have returned, for I did not know your whereabouts for a long time.”
Paseid slowly turned around. Halman had followed behind and was looking nervously back and forth between Elhien and Paseid. Paseid saw her bruised wrist.
“It’s fine,” he told Halman. “Leave us.”
Halman saw the exposed portrait and stepped out, unable to hide his anxiety.
Elhien, who had her eyes fixed on Paseid, took the time to catch her breath, then asked, “Um, are you—are you going to that big war?”
Paseid recalled the officially announced appointment from that afternoon and nodded. She must have just found out.
“Yes.”
“I heard you volun—volunteered. Why did you…without even letting me know? I know that you are an extremely busy person, but am I really that much of a bother to you?” She stuttered as she continued, like she was about to burst into tears. Elhien’s eyes welled up, then suddenly shot beyond Paseid’s shoulder. “Oh.”
Instead of saying something, Paseid simply turned his head to look back at the woman nailed on the wall.
The eyes of the woman in the portrait sitting with the blue flowerbed as its altar were filled with all kinds of affection and confidence. Elhien quietly studied the portrait of the mature woman and pitifully closed her lips.
She recalled Paseid not wanting to show her this painting the last time she visited the mansion.
Gazing at her face changing its color every moment, Paseid shook his head. “Please do not think that.”
“No, I mean…”
“This portrait is of Swan Sekalrid Rarkalia, the last queen of the Rarkalia Dynasty. You would know if you’ve heard the rumor, but this is the last legacy of Belbarote Paseid Brionake.”
Last legacy. Reluctantly enunciating those words, Paseid suddenly turned his head toward the portrait to hide his emotions. Elhien’s eyes opened as wide as walnut shells.
“The queen of Rarkalia. That—that is a worship of Rarkalia…” She jumped and covered her mouth with her hand. “I’m sorry.”
Paseid gazed at the smiling woman in the portrait without looking offended. “His Majesty is aware of this portrait’s existence as well. It is an heirloom passed down from generation to generation. I’m sure you’ve heard the rumor. The keepsake of the first Brionake in this garden. The reason the Garden of Hydrangea is not open to the public is because I do not enjoy outsiders seeing this and misunderstanding its meaning, like you have done.”
“I was just taken aback.”
“I apologize for my previous impudence and for surprising you because I did not notify you beforehand. I was swept up in the situation because it was a rather sudden appointment to me as well. It truly was not because I consider you bothersome or because I am avoiding you. Please do not think that.”
Paseid approached Elhien and lightly kissed the back of her hand. She snapped back to herself and spoke in a small voice, trying to suppress a sob. “The empire…I heard my father speaking with Count Chesa. You are already toiling away at Rokland. So, why did you bother to volunteer for such a big war? You said you dislike quarrels, Your Grace. There’s already enough knights in Rarke who live off the country’s money doing nothing like ne’er-do-wells, knights who just fool around every day like Jacalrin rather than…”
“My lady, do not speak so.”
“Do you have to go?”
Paseid turned his gaze to the portrait.
“Your Grace, a war against Morgana is…it’s different than battles at the border. We don’t know how much longer it will take, and it’ll be far more dangerous…” Elhien, who was biting her lower lip, carefully but sternly asserted.
Paseid smiled affectionately. “I will return as soon as possible.”
“But that’s not up to you. I’m not that much of a foolish child.” The end of Elhien’s sentence shook like she was crying. But she opened her eyes even wider and continued, “If you must go, promise me you will safely return and come to me before anyone else and ask for my hand.”
“I have never even thought of marrying anyone else than you, my lady. Truly.”
“And when that time comes, see me as a woman, not a sister.”
“I already love you, my lady.”
Elhien’s eyes revealed a hint of disappointment for a moment at the answer that was the same as always. Paseid knew that, but remained silent because he could not find anything else to say. She soon straightened her body, painfully lowered her reddened eyes, and pulled up her lips. “It’s all right. I’ll…I’ll leave for now.”
Paseid smiled bitterly. “I’ll walk you out.”
“No, no. It’s all right. I have brought my own people.”
Elhien stared back at the portrait for the last time, then hastily shook her hand and turned around. At her firm refusal, Paseid lowered his hand that awkwardly reached out to her. The back of the little girl briskly walking like she was almost running away disappeared into a dot.
After standing motionlessly for a long time, he bent down to pick up the fabric lying on the platform. Then, sensing a gaze from his periphery, he stopped.
With deep blue eyes that did not reveal anything inside and arched supple lips where the red paint faintly remained, she was truly a beautifu
l woman who seemed somehow stubborn but generous in spite of that. The stone statue by Aletar Dalte was already destroyed, and most of the artifacts related to the last queen were discarded and disappeared into history after the collapse of the Rarkalia Dynasty. So, it would not be wrong to call this the last portrait of the queen.
Swan Sekalrid Rarkalia. The last queen of the Rarkalia Dynasty.
When his grandfather Jegrat, a man who worshipped the founder, was still alive, Paseid grew up hearing praises of the founder more than enough. It was his grandfather’s doing that his name was Paseid.
Become a great Brionake like the great Belbarote Paseid Brionake.
But sadly, Paseid could not admire Belbarote like his grandfather Jegrat. Even if he was living with the name he’d inherited from him.
Paseid’s fingertips caressed the surface of the cotton of the portrait covered with lint. Like he had explained to Elhien, this portrait was the legacy of Belbarote, the founder who was widely praised to be a wise ruler, said to have been drawn by Belbarote himself. It was an object of incalculable value just because of the fact that it was created at the touch of Belbarote’s brushes, but it was also something that could not be shown to others.
When he was young, Belbarote had been the proxy of a tyrant who was seduced by this woman’s beauty. But in the end, he had left and executed the queen who lost her virtues as a monarch to open a new era. Though it was true that he had signed an unconditional ceasefire treaty with Morgana to quiet the turmoil within Rarke and that that grudge had been passed down all the way to today, no one could blame him. The descendants knew that it had been the best choice both politically and historically.
According to Rarkian history, Belbarote had bequeathed the throne to the eldest prince in the eighth year the Brionake Dynasty was founded, when Rarke had recovered from the aftermath of the war. It was before he was even fifty years of age.
Tales about Belbarote after he descended the throne only existed in the unofficial history passed down in the family. Everyone had been sorry to see Belbarote resign so suddenly. The man who bore everyone’s grief could not leave Muiyadro and had ended up renovating this mansion that was said to be the mansion of another dukedom named Yeigan. He had secluded himself inside it. Then, he was said to have busied himself with the work of a mere gardener.