by P. K. Lynch
Pop had been drinking all day when he said me and Jojo could go camping. I was fresh in my pajamas and cock-a-whoop at this unexpected turn of events. Jojo, not so much. But we climbed into the truck and Pop drove us a good distance before dropping us with a warning to look out for rattlesnakes.
They’re on the move, he said.
We stood in a rocky clearing surrounded by trees, and watched the truck disappear in a haze of dust.
Snakes, Jojo?
She laid her arm around me. Ssh. Don’t worry.
My eyes were drawn to the darkness of the woods. The ragged outline of the tree-tops was still clear against the darkening sky, but what lived beneath? The harder I looked, the more I saw fast-moving shapes dancing behind the tree trunks, waiting for their time to slip out into the open.
A loud rattle sprang up from some nearby bush. A second later it was drowned out by the sound of my wailing.
It’s cicadas, Jojo whispered, and it might have been true, but it didn’t matter, because dark was closing in on us, creeping from the woods and sweeping along the ground to where we stood. Something brushed my foot and I screamed and jumped. Jojo yelled and whipped round and grabbed me. Our voices echoed around the canyon. Jojo held me tight.
Aint nothing there, Aggie. Shit. Reign it in, will you?
I thought I felt something I mumbled, feeling a fresh batch of tears brewing and kicking myself for being such a baby.
Look, sit up here, will you? She hoisted me on to a high, flat rock. The cicadas rattled on and on, so much it seemed impossible there wasn’t a snake or two watching us. This is the test, okay? Pop wants to know if we’re smart. Look all around. We got everything we need right here.
I looked doubtfully around me. I guess we might make a den.
Jojo’s face lit up, and from her back pocket she took her penknife.
Good girl, Aggie! Come on, let’s get fixing.
We searched the edge of the woods for fallen branches, Jojo cutting thinner ones from the trees, saving anything we could use to make a shelter. We built it beneath the trees and huddled in, almost forgetting we didn’t want to be there, and snickering at our small victory over Pop. Bet he didn’t think we’d do this.
Why’d he do it, anyway? I asked.
No answer. I tried again.
This aint such an adventure, really. Is it?
Sure seems like one to me, she said. How many girls get to stay out on their own at night?
Far off there was a deep rumble of thunder. I hoped it wouldn’t get any closer. Jojo twirled the point of the knife round and round her palm.
Guess you don’t remember, Aggie, why would you? But do you know what today is?
No school, no Scripture, meant it was Saturday.
No, I don’t mean that. I mean…
I heard her swallow.
It’s seven years to the day that Momma left.
Momma. The magic word. Even the cicadas seemed to stop singing. I knew I was supposed to appreciate the moment. I searched myself for any sign of emotion, but all I found was frustration. Whenever Jojo mentioned Momma, I’d nod and ask questions, even though I’d long lost any interest I might have had. Normally, I went along with the game because it made her happy, and afterwards I’d ask myself why I was such a terrible person that I couldn’t find any feelings at all for the person who’d given birth to me. But that one time, sitting in the tight night air, reeling from the shock of imagined rattlesnakes, I couldn’t do it. My eyes filled with tears again, but this time they were hot and angry and felt better than the little-girl tears I’d cried earlier.
I didn’t ask nothing about Momma, Jojo. I asked why Pop would leave us here. And don’t say again that it’s an adventure, because it aint. We got no tent. No food, hardly. No blankets, no nothing. Why’d he do it?
Why do you think he did it? she snapped. Oh hell. Maybe if you weren’t such a baby, you’d understand. Grown-ups have shit to deal with too, you know. It aint all about you, all the time. Shit, now look what you made me do. Damn knife gone and cut me.
My nine-year-old head was smart enough not to point out that’s just what knives do.
The slamming of a car door brought me back to the present. I heard footsteps on the gravel and then the swing of the toilet door. I lifted my legs off the bench and gingerly stood, putting weight gently down on my sore foot. Shit. I still wasn’t good for walking. I hobbled myself round to the car park and saw a white pick up in the lot. I was weighing up the odds of me sneaking over, climbing in the back and hiding, when a female voice came from behind me.
‘Excuse me, miss. Is there a vending machine here?’ I turned round to see a girl just a few years older than me, real preppy, with Bermuda shorts and boat shoes and her hair all tied up in a ponytail. She must have walked the whole way round the shelter in order to come up behind me like that.
‘Uh, I don’t know. Sorry.’
‘You don’t work here? My gosh, I’m sorry. I figured you worked here.’ Then she frowned and said, ‘But where’s your car?’
‘I had a fight with my boyfriend. He drove off.’
She looked at me in amazement, which I must have mirrored because I amazed myself with my quick lies.
‘He drove off? Oh my God!’
Another girl appeared behind the first. ‘Did you find any – oh, hi!’
‘Hey,’ I smiled, plan forming fast.
‘Lori, can you believe it? Her boyfriend just dumped her here!’
‘What? Oh my God. You poor thing. How long you been here?’
‘All night, I guess. You folks are the first to pull in.’
I had them. I knew it. And they were the kind of girls who oh-my-Godded over everything.
‘He took my wallet,’ I said.
‘Oh my God!’ they said.
‘I think he’s been seeing my sister,’ I said, just to test my theory.
‘Oh my God!’ they said.
The one called Amy declared my boyfriend a total dick, and the other one, Lori, offered me a ride straight off.
Sitting hunched up with their bags in the back of the pickup, my story came as easy as one of their T-shirts sliding from their bag to mine. Me and my boyfriend had been set to wed and were running off to do it today. When we’d stopped for gas, he thought I’d been flirting with the guy behind the counter. One thing led to another, we’d had a fight and he dumped me. I couldn’t face going home, seeing everyone being real sorry for me, or laughing and saying I told you. So I was a free agent and they could just drop me wherever it was convenient.
I could tell they didn’t like the idea of just dropping me off some random place with no money, and though they seemed like rich kids to me, they were college kids, not exactly dripping in gold. Not exactly the smartest, either. When they asked my name and I told them Aggie, they screamed like they were on a roller coaster. I had to cover my ears.
‘Are you thinking what I’m thinking?’ Amy said.
‘It’s a sign,’ Lori replied. ‘Got to be. Hold on, Aggie. Everything’s going to be alright.’
Lori grasped the wheel with both hands and floored it. Amy plugged her cell into the car and music came out, real modern with a hard beat and no words. Outside, the plains, wide and wider. Felt like we were going nowhere real fast.
They were farm girls like me, only their farms were big and for cotton. They talked about Daddy filling his plane from oil sprung on his own land, and for a moment I felt a stab of sympathy for Cy. Ambitious Cy. Always talking about the guys he’d grown up with and how he wanted to expand the farm. Said he felt a regular laughing stock in company. Pop batted him away each time, like Cy was no more than a fly buzzing around his hat. Pop told Cy to content himself. Said greed wasn’t God’s way.
Sitting behind Lori and Amy, I got a good look at greed. Greed gave you thick, soft hair and bracelets jangling on your wrists. It gave you proper shoes for walking in and gold sunglasses to shade your eyes. It gave you long brown legs, smooth with no blemishes. It made
you smell of flowers and coconuts. Gave you glossy lips. Made you pretty. I decided one day I’d give greed a try. In the meantime, I contented myself with twenty bucks taken from a roll of eighty in the side pocket on the bag beside me. Just enough to make them wonder, but not enough to be sure.
Outside, nodding donkeys jacked up and down, robbing oil from the ground just as easy as the turbines above them stole wind from the sky. The sun burned hotter and hotter. On the road ahead, pools of water appeared and disappeared like silver magic. Amy switched the air con to high. I didn’t ask where we were going and I didn’t care. I’d been catching rides with truckers for going on six weeks. I could handle this pair.
They told me I was their lucky mascot and when we got to where we were going I’d understand why. I just smiled and nodded, not wanting to seem too happy on account of my recent breakup, but for the first time since leaving I did feel a little excitement, or hope, or expectation, fluttering in the pit of my stomach. The happiness and contentment sitting in the seats in front of me was contagious.
I didn’t have to talk too much. They took my quietness for grief and were quick to fill in the gaps with their own experiences. They’d both had bad boyfriends in the past, though Lori reckoned she had a good one now. The look Amy flung over her shoulder towards me made me doubtful, but neither of us disagreed, especially when she said her good boyfriend might give me a job.
‘He works in a pizza place, right? And one day he gets a call from the manager who’s been having, like, major personal issues lately, and he just leaves him in charge! Like, of the whole place! I mean, it’s small but still, you know? How does that work out, I asked him. He’s an undergrad, know what I mean?’
I didn’t have the first idea but I nodded anyway.
‘Final year. He can’t be managing a crummy pizza place in his final year,’ said Lori.
‘It does do the best pizza, though,’ interrupted Amy.
‘Oh my God, to die for,’ agreed Lori. ‘But he plays football too, know what I mean? There’s no time for pizza. Of course, he won’t let his boss down, because he’s a decent guy. But I told him he needs help. He’s on the team. The actual team, for Christ’s sake!’
Amy turned round and rolled her eyes at me again. I guessed she heard a lot about this boyfriend in his final year with his football and his team and his unreasonable pizza manager.
‘He’s not on the team today,’ Amy said, and the air in the car turned electric.
Lori exploded. ‘That’s because he’s working in a shitty pizza place doing a shitty job that a fucking monkey could do for a shitty manager for shitty money!’
Amy was suddenly fascinated with something outside the passenger window and didn’t reply. It was time for me to bring the subject back to point.
‘So you think he might have an opening?’ I said.
‘Well, that depends.’ Lori was obviously pissed now. ‘Do you have experience?’
‘I thought you said a fucking monkey could do his job, Lori?’ Amy was back in the game. ‘If a fucking monkey could do his job, then Aggie can do it. Aggie! Hell, the girl was made for it!’
For reasons that were unclear to me, they both laughed again and the air was cleared. They were confusing, but at least I never had to answer if I’d experience or not.
6
The place was College Station and the school was Texas A&M. They couldn’t believe I’d never heard of it, like it was the center of the earth.
‘Oh my God! We’re a premier school!’ said Amy.
‘Like, haven’t you even heard of the team? They televise our games all the time!’ said Lori.
‘Oh my God!’ said both of them.
I just shrugged. They were squabbling again by the time we arrived, on account of Amy, or Lori, depending who you listened to, making them both late for the game which was playing that afternoon.
‘Sorry for dumping you, Aggie,’ Amy said, as they dropped me at a full parking lot and hurried elsewhere to find a space for the car.
‘Tony’s place is down there on the left, opposite the Army & Navy.’ Lori pointed out a street fifty yards away. I thanked them and waved as they drove off, but they were already fighting again and didn’t wave back. They took a left at the corner and then they were gone.
I took a look around. I was disappointed. From where I was standing, College Station seemed a quiet place, small. Nowhere to hide. But if I could stay even a week or two and get some money together that would be awesome. Plus, I’d never had an opening before. Seemed like the universe was sending me some help at just the right time. If I doubted it, there was even a public bathroom for me to wash and change in, and make myself presentable before going to ask about the job.
Fresh in my new T-shirt, I approached the street that had been pointed out. A group of tourists cleared to reveal a statue a few feet away. I stopped to check it out and nearly fell down. So that’s what they’d meant. In front of me was a young guy built out of black metal, and he was carrying an axe. The inscription said: Aggie Spirit, The Tradition Lives. How about that? Maybe I was going to like this town after all.
I found the pizza place, opposite the Army & Navy just like she’d said. It was nothing special. Just six empty tables and a high counter with a bored-looking blond guy behind it. His eyes were focused on a TV sitting on one of the tables. As I pushed open the door, he hollered and punched the air so abruptly I almost wet my pants.
‘Oh, what!’ he cried. ‘No way! I thought we had it.’
‘Uh, hi,’ I said.
He looked at me for the first time and I gave a little wave. ‘Did you see that?’ he asked, pointing at the TV. ‘I mean, did you see that?’
From the way the TV was angled there was no way I could have seen it, but I remembered Jojo saying to me one time that when it comes to men and sport, it’s best to be sympathetic.
‘I’m sure it’ll go the right way next time, sir.’
‘Yeah, yeah, I’m sure,’ he said with a scowl. ‘Anyway, you need a slice?’
I fingered the twenty rolled up in my pocket and tried not to look at the different types of pizza all laid out begging me to eat them: Hawaiian, pepperoni, one with chunks of red pepper that made my tummy growl just by looking. The twenty stayed in my pocket.
‘I was told to ask for Tony.’
‘Well, I guess you just found him. What can I help you with?’ He seemed to kind of inflate like some jock puffer fish as he rolled his shoulders and flexed his pecs at me.
‘Lori sent me. Said you needed some help here.’
He gestured towards the empty seats. ‘Does it look like I need help here?’ He flicked a dishcloth over his shoulder and his eyes drifted back to the game. I came round to look at the TV screen with him.
‘She told me you were missing the game. Said you might miss the whole season. My name’s Aggie.’
His eyes snapped right back to me. ‘Are you serious?’ He began to laugh.
I nodded. ‘Lori said to say she’s sent you a lucky mascot.’ No, she hadn’t, but what the hell.
He shook his head and chuckled to himself. ‘You got any experience with pizza, Aggie?’
‘Sure,’ I replied. It wasn’t a lie. I’d eaten plenty.
‘Cool,’ he said. ‘Listen, I’m kind of busy right now.’ He nodded at the TV and I gave him my most understanding face. ‘Can you come back later? Say six? We start getting busy then.’
And that’s how I got my first job. Easy as pizza pie.
Second time Pop drove me and Jojo into the canyon, he said it was to test us. He said books and schooling had its place but they were no substitute for the country smarts. Jojo said he never would have done it if he’d known the storm was coming, but even Cy said it was a wicked thing, storm or no storm. We huddled together between some boulders. The rain didn’t dampen the rattle of the cicadas.
Cicadas, Aggie, remember? Just cicadas.
I pressed in tight to her. The rain poured down so hard we could barely open our eyes.
When I tried to talk, I had to spit water after every second word.
Let’s build another den, I suggested, my throat hoarse from some infection or other.
Rain’ll kill it, Aggie. No point.
Can’t we go take cover in those trees? I asked, but I already knew the answer was no. Trees weren’t your friend in an electric storm.
We’re safer out here, she yelled. Those trees over there will take a lightening strike before we do.
She pulled me in even closer, squeezing loose some water trapped in my fleece. Tiny cold rivers trickled down my back and sides, worse than the general flood we were experiencing. My teeth chattered and I bowed my head to let the water pour off without getting in my eyes. I’d been sent home sick from school that very day. A cough gathered in my throat and I gave in to it, adding my germy spray to the general wetness. On purpose, I didn’t cover my mouth. If she cared she didn’t say, but I imagined I could feel her grow harder, more distant from me. She was already mad with me from earlier that day. She’d tucked me on the sofa and given me a book from Momma’s pile to read. ‘You be real careful with that one now,’ she said, though I didn’t need the warning. The book felt like gold dust in my hands. I settled back on the sofa for the afternoon, gently turning the pages, in awe of my treasure, a real life connection with Momma Who Ran Away.
Guess I’d fallen asleep. Somewhere nearby was Pop’s voice and Jojo’s. I turned my head to see, and a flannel fell from my forehead. I caught it in my hand. It was warm and dry, all coolness long gone.
My head pounded and a sudden pain in my ear made me roll over and cry out in pain. Then Jojo was in front of me, opening a bottle and pouring a foul tasting medicine onto a plastic spoon. I swallowed it down in one, eyes screwed tight shut, as though I could block the flavor, then the second spoon arrived loaded with strawberry jelly to take the taste away.