by P. K. Lynch
Whether it was her strength or her sternness that made me blush, or maybe even something else I couldn’t put words to, I hoped she’d think my red face was caused by the heat of the fire.
Back in the hallway, only Freak seemed totally relaxed about the whole thing. Marj looked at Ade with such worry and I thought I knew the reason why. She’d have trouble leaving him behind now. The trip was off.
‘Hell, no. Are you crazy?’ Marjorie said when I asked her about it. ‘I just put seven hundred bucks down on my own place. I gotta make next month’s rent, and the month after that, too. Now, I got a business appointment in Port Aransas and I’ll be damned if I miss it. You getting faint-hearted on me?’
‘Lord, no. I just… Ade, you know?’ I replied.
He was pacing up and down the hallway, running his fingers through his new cut hair. All he said was Shit, shit, shit, over and over.
‘Hey, Ade,’ Marj called. ‘What happened to those lawyer dudes you were going to see?’
Freak outright laughed. ‘He’s gonna sell his book first, aint you, Ade? Gonna make a fortune to bring the superfly lawyers. Aint that right?’
‘I thought I’d have more time,’ he replied. ‘They came too soon.’
‘Yeah,’ sneered Freak. ‘Damn shame they won’t work to your schedule, aint it.’
‘We need a TV,’ said Marjorie. ‘To see what’s going on.’
‘Larry at number twelve,’ Ade said.
Larry was one of the few neighbors who’d welcomed Ade to the neighborhood. He was an old guy who would rather see a house being used instead of being left to rot. Asshat bankers, he’d said. Apparently he’d been stung by them some time in the eighties. Ade had explained it but I was hazy on the details.
‘Come on,’ Marjorie said, and took my arm. I followed her out to the street, trying to move faster than the reporter. Behind us, our door slammed again. ‘Hold up. I’m coming too,’ called Freak. I heard Marjorie swear under her breath but she just kept focus on reaching number twelve so I did the same.
Larry had seen us coming and was waiting with the door open. We didn’t have to explain ourselves. He already had the TV switched to the news channel.
‘It’s already been on,’ he said, rubbing his hands together anxiously. ‘I saw it. I couldn’t believe it. Our street on the news. Of course that old coot next one along from you – she’s already been on. Wouldn’t you just know it? She couldn’t wait to start bitching. If they ask me I’ll only say nice things about you, you can bet on that.’
I wondered what the old coot had said, but Marjorie just said thank you and turned up the volume to drown him out. The anchor woman was saying, ‘And live from the house on Oakfield Avenue…’ The penny dropped at the same time for both of us, too late to do anything about it now, because suddenly there she was, Freak, in forty-eight-inch plasma, being beamed right into Larry’s living room, and countless living rooms up and down the state.
‘Jesus Christ,’ breathed Marjorie. ‘She looks like a fucking flamingo.’
As soon as the interview ended, Marjorie was out of Larry’s and storming back up the street to meet Freak as she headed towards us.
‘Laying low?’ she yelled. ‘You call that laying low?’
Freak stopped in her tracks and, as Marjorie got closer, appeared to be rooted to the spot. The reporter looked up from his phone and signaled the camera guy to switch on, but he already had the camera trained on us.
‘Marjorie, shut up!’ I hissed. She picked up more speed and I had to run to keep up with her. Freak turned around and hurried back to the house.
‘Ade! Ade, let me in,’ she called. The door opened and I managed to push both of them through just as the reporter was approaching the steps. I slammed the door in his face. I turned round to see Freak had positioned herself behind a confused-looking Ade. ‘I didn’t mean to talk to them,’ she said. ‘You didn’t wait for me. I was only trying to catch y’all up before you disappeared into Larry’s place. I asked you to wait but you went right ahead.’ So it was our fault now. I wouldn’t have thought it possible but Ade was even more agitated.
‘It’s endgame,’ he said. I’d no idea what he meant, but he said it over and over. Endgame, endgame.
‘Give it up, Ade,’ snapped Marjorie, impatient with him at last. ‘And you,’ she said, turning to Freak. ‘What were you thinking running out like that? Aint you got the sense you were born with?’
‘I don’t see what y’all are getting your panties in a bunch for.’ Freak shrugged.
‘My panties aint bunched, you stupid child. Who was it stuck up an ATM yesterday without hiding their face? Uh-huh. You, that’s who. And how many people walk about with bright pink hair? Way to lay low, Freak. Good job.’
‘Shit, Mr Dee…’ Freak’s eyes widened and she clapped a hand over her mouth.
Marjorie stood back, satisfied Freak finally understood how dumb she was. Leaning against the wall for support, Freak staggered backwards and collapsed onto the bottom step of the stairs. She didn’t fool me. After all our talk last night about Duke chasing her down, and how much she wanted to come on the trip with us, I knew no way was she stupid enough to make a mistake like that. She had Marjorie by the balls, only Marjorie didn’t know it yet.
Someone else came down the stairs and it was Ricardo, the Mexican, owner of the baseball bat I’d once found so useful.
‘I cannot stay, my friends. For me, it’s no good here no more.’
We understood. Of all of us, Ricardo had the most to lose by being in the spotlight. Marjorie stepped forward and hugged him.
‘You take care now, y’hear?’
He nodded, embarrassed.
Ade stepped forward. ‘I’m sorry, man. So sorry it’s come to this.’
‘No worries, Ade. Thank you for everything. And you take care of yourself, okay? This camera outside… it’s not good news.’ Ricardo kissed Ade on the cheek. If he noticed me and Freak he didn’t say anything. He slipped out the door and was gone.
‘That’s it then,’ said Ade. ‘Lloyd and Tawanna are leaving, too. It’s just us left.’
‘Just you two, Ade,’ said Marjorie. ‘Me and Aggie’s got business out of town.’
Freak was just casually braiding her hair, but Ade’s eyes widened in horror. ‘They’re doing it. Divide and rule. Divide and rule,’ he began pacing the hallway, then suddenly grabbed on to Marjorie’s sleeve. ‘Don’t go, Marj. This is how they want it to play. They want to get me alone and then they’ll take me. It’s been coming. Oh, it’s been coming.’ And then he started to cry.
Marjorie looked down at the floor and shook her head. ‘I don’t believe this,’ she said.
I thought I saw a quick smile on Freak’s face, but it was hidden behind her hair before I could be sure.
Marjorie’s revenge was to make Freak shave her hair off. Now she and Ade sat in the back of Oprah looking like a couple of refugees from some prison camp. ‘We’re like twins,’ Freak said to Ade, and took his hand, all settled in for the journey. In the front, me and Marj were fizzing. I had a box of Marj’s trinkets stuck between my legs on account of the lost space in the back. We were late setting off too, because once it was clear that Ade and Freak were along for the ride and the house would be empty, Marjorie had to make a few trips to her ma’s place. The banks might have padlocked the doors by the time we got back and she didn’t want to lose her stuff. Larry had come racing down to see what was going on when he saw Marj’s furniture being moved out.
‘Have they beat you, those ass hats?’ he wanted to know.
Ade’s eyes watered as he muttered something about losing the battle but not the war.
‘Scum buckets, that’s what they are, Ade. This country’s gone to the dogs. We didn’t fight to be held ransom by the banks, goddammit. Crockett’s spinning in his grave, I tell you.’
In a show of solidarity he walked in front of us as we pulled away from the house, waving the state flag while the neighbors and a couple extra camer
a crews caught the whole thing. Marjorie drove slow out of respect for Larry but inside we were dying. I kept my head down and my hand over my face the whole way. Ade and Freak hid beneath a blanket in the back. Freak’s loud giggles didn’t help the general atmosphere at all.
We had to take the long way round, because Marjorie wouldn’t go through Waco.
‘Creepy assed shit,’ was all she’d say when I asked her to tell me more about it. Freak wasn’t happy about the route. ‘You mean, we aint hitting Austin?’
‘Aint hitting Austin,’ Marjorie replied.
‘Shitballs, I thought you were going through Austin,’ Freak said, as though Marjorie might change her mind.
‘Freak’s got a cousin there,’ I explained.
‘Cousin, huh?’ Marj pretended to think about it for a moment, and I could feel the hope rising behind me. ‘That’s nice. But I never said nothing about Austin.’
Balloon, popped.
Ade held Freak’s hand and didn’t notice the disappointment on her face. I guess she’d planned to jump out when we got there. Ade just stared out the passenger window, unless he was checking behind us to see if we’d been followed.
‘We aint been followed, Ade,’ Marjorie said for the sixth time. We were just hitting the edge of town by this point and already it felt we’d been going for hours.
When we stopped for gas, I went inside to pay with Marjorie. It was one of those big truck stops that sells fancy foods and gifts and films and toys and shit. We were fourth in line to pay. Marjorie told me to keep an eye on the car. She’d taken the keys with her so I don’t know what she thought Freak and Ade might do, but I did as she asked.
I heard the guy at the front of the queue ask for fifty dollars on pump six. He paid and we all moved down the line. Marjorie elbowed me in the ribs. ‘Come on,’ she said. I followed her back out.
‘What about the gas?’ I asked.
‘Jump in,’ she instructed me. I did as I was told but before I’d even shut the door the car was moving. She turned it around and pulled up real close behind a silver Toyota, which was parked in a different filling slot. We were all quiet with confusion as she nipped out and slid down between the Toyota and the pump.
‘Oh shit,’ screamed Freak. ‘She’s stealing somebody’s gas!’
And so she was. I looked around expecting some angry dude to be headed straight for us. The numbers on the pump’s display board couldn’t have gone round any slower. Freak was jumping up and down in her seat with excitement, while Ade hid back beneath the blanket, which, to my knowledge, hadn’t been washed since that little armadillo critter had been wrapped up in it. Then Marj was hanging the pump back and we were driving off, fifty bucks of fuel heavier.
‘I saw the guy pay.’ She shrugged, once we were back on the Interstate. ‘And then he went to the restroom. His own fault. What did he expect to happen? That’s a lesson he needed to learn.’
‘What about cameras though, Marjorie. Did you cover your face?’ Freak snarked.
‘Aint no cameras at that place. Don’t tell me my business, child.’ Marjorie laughed and bumped the horn. Honky-tonk crackled from the radio and the old car wheels spun round.
The roads got quieter and the sky came bigger the further out we got, but it was still nothing compared to home. Every mile south we went the more I began to wonder if I’d ever see the high plains again. I was daydreaming when the car skidded to a stop. Freak lurched forward and her head bounced into my back through the seat.
‘Should have wore your seatbelt,’ said Marjorie before Freak could complain.
There was nothing in front of us. I’d no clue why she’d stopped. She got out and went behind the car. All three of us craned our necks to see what she was doing. She opened the trunk, pulled something out, and walked back around to the front. I knew what she was doing before Ade and Freak.
It’s going to be hell of a long journey, I thought, as she wrapped up the dead armadillo and put it in the trunk.
‘Oh my actual fucking God.’ Freak twisted her face in disgust. ‘I can actually smell it.’
Inside Oprah it was feeling hot and small. Marjorie had got a guy to fix the air con but it still only worked when it felt like it. The heat had sent Ade to sleep. With his head tipped back and his mouth hanging loose, he looked about twelve years old. A beeping noise came from beside him and Marjorie did a double-take in the driver’s mirror.
‘What the fuck you doing with that?’ she hissed.
I turned round to see what she was talking about. Freak was playing some game on her cell.
‘What? He’s asleep.’ She shrugged.
‘He’ll flip out if he sees you with that,’ Marj said. ‘Put it away.’ I backed Marj up and said she should put it away too, but she acted like she hadn’t heard.
‘Put it the fuck away, dickwipe!’ Marjorie yelled. I reckon she’d been holding on to that yell for months. Of course it woke up Ade and, as Marjorie predicted, he flipped. He grabbed the phone straight out of Freak’s hands and threw it out the window. Freak sat staring at the space her phone used to be. Marjorie turned back to face the front. ‘Problem solved,’ she said with a smirk.
‘What the fuck you have to do that for?’ Freak asked Ade. ‘I paid for that phone.’
Ade was on his knees looking out the back window. ‘They’re following us,’ he said.
‘We aint being followed, Ade,’ said Marjorie, sounding like a broken record. ‘Look, aint nobody behind us at all.’
‘That’s what they want you to think, but now their tracking device has gone, they’ll need to catch us up. You have to go faster while we’ve got the advantage. You should probably change route as well.’
‘I thought you said he’d be better once he was off the weed?’ I said to Marjorie. With one look, she told me to can it.
‘I aint changing route, Ade,’ Marjorie called over her shoulder. ‘We’re late enough as it is.’
Thirty minutes later we were holed up in a diner just off the Interstate. When Ade finally accepted Marj wasn’t changing routes, he’d persuaded her to pull off the road. He was dead set on his theory that whoever was tailing us would zoom to catch us up. All we had to do was let twenty or so cars go past and by that point it would be safe to go again. It seemed a random number to pick but I wasn’t sorry to stop. My legs needed to stretch. We parked behind the diner and took a window booth so we could count cars. Judging by the amount of traffic we hadn’t seen, I figured we’d be there a while.
The place was called the Fantastic Fifties, but it was low on fantastic. Old seven-inch vinyls dangled from the ceiling on white-and-red ribbons. The walls were red-and-white candy stripes and covered in pictures of Marilyn and Elvis, because they were the only two famous people the fifties produced, I guess. Where it wasn’t Marilyn and Elvis, newspaper scraps of local people were pinned up – the football team, cheerleaders, scholarship winners – anyone who’d found their five minutes in the spotlight was famous forever in the Fantastic Fifties. There was even a signed photo of George Bush Junior. Guess those president guys get around. Photographs of dancing troupes, Citizen of the Year 1984 through ’98. So much pride, so much to celebrate about being human. Not just human – plastic replicas of all the Disney characters were all lined up along the counter: Sylvester, Tweetie-Pie, Mickey and Minnie, Winnie the Pooh, all fat and cheerful and creepy as hell. I half expected Ade to turn them upside down to inspect them for cameras, but he was locked on to the nothing happening outside.
‘No sign yet,’ he said to nobody in particular.
The waitress came for our order. She was seventy if she was a day, but was made up like a hooker, all black-lined eyes and purple blush. Her thin hair was dyed red and fluffy as cotton. She’d backcombed it so it resembled the ghost of a beehive. It sat so stiff, I bet she woke up looking like that. We ordered drinks and waited for Ade to give us the all clear. Freak was still pissed about the phone and not getting to Austin, while Marjorie looked resigned to whatever life was g
oing to throw at her. As for me, I scoured the walls going from photo to photo to photo; a patchwork of black-and-white and not one thing familiar.
Everybody knows life don’t give a shit who you are. Life throws you a curve ball any old time it feels like it, no matter your size, color or creed, but when Oprah got a flat, Marjorie couldn’t have been more shocked if she’d just given birth to herself. She sat there, frozen, disbelieving her bad luck, while we held our breath and waited for the explosion.
‘Hot damn, Oprah. How could you let a sister down like this?’ she said, and then she turned to me and said, ‘If anyone can get themselves back in the game, it’s Oprah.’ And the rest of us all breathed again.
Freak refused to get out the car on account of snakes and bears, and Ade refused to get out on account of snipers. When I asked him where he thought a sniper might be hiding amid the dry, flat land around us, he decided satellite photography would keep him inside instead. Me and Marj had just about had it with them both. We emptied the trunk of all the boxes and jacked the car with them still inside, Freak squealing with every half turn of the jack. I was impressed by Marjorie. She was strong and that tire was changed in under ten minutes.
When she finished, Marj wiped her hands on a rag, and took a look around. ‘This is as good a spot as any,’ she said, hands on hips. ‘Since we’ve emptied the trunk anyway.’ She took up a spade that had been in the back with all the boxes, and walked off a few feet. I knew without being asked that my job was to carry over our extra passengers, which numbered four by this point. She dug a hole while I cradled the last one like a baby, grateful for Marjorie’s fondness for blankets.
We laid them side by side in the hole and Marjorie offered up a short prayer. Then she nodded at me. I took up the shovel and was about to cover them with dirt when I thought I saw one of the blankets twitch. I looked at Marj to see if she’d noticed, but she was bent over doing something with the buckle on her boot. I looked at the blanket again. It was definitely moving. With the edge of the shovel, I loosened the blanket a little, and a long, snuffling nose wormed its way out.