by Fanny Blake
‘That’s outrageous. Helen’ – her mother, a dutiful school governor, was on first name terms with Miss Milton – ‘can’t be taking Amy seriously. That’s a girl who’s always been in trouble since day one. You know I’ve never trusted her.’ She folded up her newspaper, omitting to remember the number of times Amy had been to their house when nothing had gone missing or wrong or, when she’d chatted at some length with her, how impressed she had been by her ambition. ‘Don’t worry, I’ll deal with this.’ Her hand went to the French roll that she styled every morning and patted the hair in place, a gesture that signified she was about to embark on a mission. She took her role in the local community seriously and was intent on it running the way she believed it should. She made a formidable opponent.
And then the watch was found.
The next thing was that Amy had been expelled from the school. Jane had not seen that coming at all. She had imagined Amy would find the watch and hand it in. But that’s not what happened. Her mother had more influence that she’d realised. A subdued Mr Wilson was back in the art room. Like the other girls, she was overjoyed that he had had a reprieve.
However, things were never the same after that. Mr Wilson had maintained a reserve and a strict distance from his pupils from that day onwards. His jokes were fewer, less funny. The more risqué ones were non-existent. If he noticed Jane’s deliberate leg crossing – she’d read in a magazine there was nothing more erotic to a man than the swish of a stockinged leg – he made no response. He didn’t comment on anyone’s appearance. He was very careful. As for Amy … Amy would be all right. And she had been.
Here she was now in Amy’s beautiful home, enjoying her hospitality; but thanks to an unfortunate quirk of fate, they were reliving their school days despite her having suppressed the worst of them long ago. Although Amy had been ambitious, Linda and Jane almost always pipped her to the top of the class. Hanging on to this grudge was one thing but, if she was so driven to be a doctor, she could easily have studied and become one. Jane would not take the rap for that.
She went inside to get herself a glass of water, the indoor tiles cool under her feet. She stopped for a while to admire the living room again. Amy had always had an eye. As a kid, she went along with the fads and fashions but had always managed to add her own distinctive take with a bright belt or a clashing brooch. Jane had envied her that. She must have inherited her mother’s sense of colour and style: a woman like Mrs Tiggywinkle, small and round, who wore a pincushion on her chest and was always in their small front room – the one that never got used for best – surrounded by bolts of fabric and dresses hanging from a rail that crossed the back of the room. And in the window where there was the best light, the table with her heavy black and gold Singer sewing machine.
In this room, Moroccan-style fabrics with geometric patterns were striking against the white walls. There were two large landscape paintings of what Jane assumed were local beauty spots. Simple, elegant and timeless: all those clichés. Jane sighed.
On her way back outside, she heard her phone ringing. Not David again! She really didn’t want her mind deflected from the immediate problem of what to do about Amy and Mr Wilson or whatever he was calling himself now. And why?
Nonetheless, unable to ignore it she picked up her phone from the lounger. Rick. Should she? She settled her hand on her stomach, reassuring herself of its flatness.
‘Hello.’
17
What a day. Despite Jove’s accidental dip, the four of us had a great time. Sheila was quite laid back for once and Linda was so much more fun than she’d been till then. I began to see traces of the old her coming through, perhaps because we’d escaped the others. And escape was the right word. Jane was a constant background noise to my thoughts now I was sure she was the one who had been behind my expulsion. All I hoped for was an apology – an acknowledgement of the wrong done.
Why not? That’s what I hoped for from Rob too. Was that so unreasonable? I wanted my life cleared up before I moved on. I wanted Kate and Linda to know that I wasn’t a thief. Dan, too, although he’d always supported me.
If I was worried about anyone, it was Kate on my brother’s pillion. Charming as he could be, I wasn’t blind to his faults. I knew what he was like around an attractive woman and, although she may not have realised it, Kate was that still. Not the social X-ray that the bloody media still dictates we women should be but gloriously rounded and very much her own person. I was sure Dan wasn’t blind to any of that.
By the time Linda and I swam back to the boat, Brendan and Sheila had pulled out our picnic. It was all a bit of a squash on board but perfect. I’d brought some slices of pizza from the bakery in Sóller and some fruit: fat plums and figs. They had chilled water, orange juice and wine, cheese, tomatoes and ham. That was all we needed. We spread it out on the small picnic table that Sheila provided and got stuck in.
‘This is a feast.’ Linda looked so chilled. She didn’t even have a glass of wine, just ate a little, and sat back, quite content. So if nothing else was to be achieved over these four days, at least that was something. She looked as if she couldn’t believe the life she was living. And what’s more, I’d thoroughly enjoyed spending the day with her.
The journey home seemed to speed by compared to the journey out. The sea remained like a millpond, and while Brendan and Sheila stood in the cabin, chatting and steering the Reina del Mar, Linda and I sat under the blue canopy, trailing our hands in the water, saying little. We didn’t need to. Until …
‘So what are you going to do?’ she asked tentatively.
‘About what?’ For a moment I thought she meant about Rob and the continuing threat to the business. He’d promised he’d pay the money back, but so far we’d seen nothing. I can’t say I was wholly surprised, although if he thought I was going to soften towards him, he should think again. But of course Linda didn’t know anything about that.
‘About Jack Walsh and Jane?’
‘I don’t know. I probably should let it go, but I don’t want to when I might be so close to the truth. Perhaps I’d feel better if I confronted Jack Walsh and got the apology I’d like from him. After all, if it weren’t for him …’
Linda propped herself up with both elbows on the side of the boat, alarm on her face. ‘Really?’
‘Why not? What harm can he do now?’ I was right. There was nothing he could do to me now. The damage had been done long ago. If anyone had anything to fear, it was him.
‘I guess so.’ She trailed her arm in the water, dabbling her fingers, distracting herself. ‘I’ll come with you if you like.’
I was surprised. ‘Are you sure? It may not be pretty.’ I was joking but she didn’t smile.
‘Then you’ll need moral support.’ Evidently nothing more needed to be said. She’d made up her mind. That was fine by me. I wasn’t relishing the idea of a solo confrontation but I needed to do something.
‘You’re so lucky having all this.’ She gestured towards the island, which was looking its best in the evening sun, showering us both with water. ‘Ah! Sorry.’
We laughed again.
Despite her initial diffidence, I felt as comfortable with her now as if we were still best mates, plotting how to get tickets to a gig at the local cinema, dancing in our bedrooms to Steeleye Span and Roxy Music, experimenting with make-up, guessing what the questions on the next exam paper would be. There must be something more than Mike behind her loss of confidence but I still didn’t like to ask. She would tell me when or if she was ready.
We didn’t stay to see the sun go down – a shame, because I’ve seen some of the most beautiful sunsets in the world from that side of the island and I’d have liked to share that with her – but time was against us and by the time we got home, it was nearly dark. There was no sign of Jane. I discreetly checked her room to find her things were still there, so she hadn’t done a runner. When Linda
went to change, I made a beeline for my office. Spending a day without access to the internet was wonderfully liberating but now I was itching to be back in touch with the business, checking the daily figures and whether Rob had made a payment. I couldn’t let a day go past without that.
My office was on the north side of the house so it was always something of a respite from the heat of the day. Apart from the table that I’d stripped down to the wood, there was my easel and my watercolours, brushes and pencils that I used when I was roughing out a new design. On the table sat my laptop and a heavy green glass paperweight that I’d found in a junk shop. I loved the way the light played on the air bubbles inside it.
Beside it, Rob grinned at me from a holiday we once had in St Lucia. I hadn’t quite been able to put in a drawer, as I had with the rest of his photos in the house. I didn’t want the others prompted into asking questions about him and it seemed to have worked. Although I was closing my heart to him piece by piece, a little bit of me still wanted to believe that when I got back home, everything would be like it was before. Even though there was no chance. But most of me didn’t want that at all, not after what he’d done.
One wall held a large corkboard where I pinned up my designs or pictures and cuttings that I found inspiring. Apart from that, I’d hung one of my favourite paintings of the island and in a corner, an old school photo, and one of the four of us together when we’d been on a school trip to London. I’d found that one after Mum died, stuffed in the back of a drawer.
As soon as I logged into my inbox, I saw an email from Kerry headed Good news and bad. Heart sinking, I opened it.
Hope all’s well on that beautiful island and that your guests are behaving themselves. Good news is that Rob has made a payment. Bad news is that we’re still £100,000 short. I thought you should know rather than wait till you get back. Do you want to take it up with him?
Of course I didn’t. Talking to him was the last thing I wanted to do. I didn’t want to be reminded of what I once felt for him. Perhaps a little of me still did but I wasn’t letting myself go there. What was the point? He had made up his mind to leave me and move in with Morag and her kids. Whether I liked it or not, whether it tore me apart or not, I had to come to terms with it. I hadn’t had all that long to digest the news but if I kept busy, it kept the worst of my grief – because that’s what it was – at bay.
However, when it came to the business, I had the others working there to think of, so I called him up.
My nerves kicked in as I listened to the dial tone. I had no idea where he was, but I couldn’t help wondering. Where could he be that was better than Ca’n Amy? But, at that moment, what I minded about most was the remainder of the money he owed us. Although I didn’t want to involve the police, I would if I had to; but surely the threat of prison would be enough to make him pay up. His phone rang and rang, eventually clicking through to his voicemail.
‘Rob, it’s me. Amy. I’ve just heard from Kerry that you’ve paid back one hundred grand. Thank you. I just wanted to remind you that we agreed you’d repay the money in full within a month.’ I was about to say something about how much I hoped we’d be able to resolve things but at the last minute I decided to keep it as impersonal as I could and cut off the call. How would this play out? As the weeks passed, I felt increasingly angry with him. Our marriage was one thing but how dare he jeopardise our business and everyone who worked for me as well? I couldn’t understand how someone with his financial background could have taken such a stupid risk.
For a while I sat with my head in my hands, filled with an overwhelming sadness. How had we ended up here? But I knew the answer. We had grown apart without noticing what was happening and the spark that once welded us together had fizzled out. Even I knew that once that had gone, it was hard to row back.
I don’t know how long I sat there thinking about the good times and bad, about how much I’d miss him. We’d shared our personal and professional lives for almost thirty years. Without his financial skills, Amy Green would never have been the success it had become; but how I thanked God that I’d never given him a share of the business. I thought I was protecting myself in the way I hadn’t been able to when I was younger. I was not going to be betrayed by anyone again. Of course I’d paid him well and given him generous bonuses – I just didn’t want to share what was mine. He had professed to understand and agree with that. I was wary of people when I first met him. I didn’t give my trust to anyone because I didn’t want to be let down again. Not even to him. I had to laugh at the irony.
Eventually I decided to rejoin the others. They would take my mind off all this. I blew my nose, fiddled with my hair in the mirror and put on a bit of lipstick. I was reaching for the door handle when there was a knock from the other side. I returned to my desk and shut my laptop as Dan came into the room.
‘Got a minute, sis?’ He was wearing that eager but apprehensive face that meant he was going to ask a favour.
‘Sure. But I haven’t got too long as I must make sure the others are okay, because we’ve been doing our own thing all day.’ And I didn’t want to hear the usual lengthy preamble that led up to a request. I know that sounds mean, but I’d been there before, remember?
‘I noticed.’ He winked as if we were colluding in something then came in and sat in my favourite black leather reclining chair. He lay there, head resting on the roll at the higher end. ‘Kate and I had a great day though.’
‘Dan.’ I said his name as if warning him off.
‘What? We got along great guns.’ All innocent but … I knew what he was like.
‘She’s married and I don’t want my brother to be the one who messes that up. We’ve only just connected again.’ I couldn’t bear to think what the others would say if I ended up being indirectly responsible for anything like that. Things were difficult enough as it was.
‘Don’t worry. I like her but nothing like that’s going to happen.’ He flexed his feet then turned them in circles. ‘But I do want to ask you something.’ His feet stilled.
‘Not money, Dan. Please don’t let’s have that conversation again. The last time you asked, I made it quite clear.’ I was not going to spell out to him how precarious the business was. That was my concern alone.
‘Oh come on.’ He pushed himself up into a sitting position so he could look out of the window while he spoke. I braced myself. The fact he was avoiding eye contact meant I wouldn’t like whatever he was about to say. ‘I only need a couple of grand, say five, just to get me back on my feet again. Once I’ve got work here, I’ll be laughing, and I can start paying you back.’
I opened and shut the drawer of my desk, summoning up my most reasonable voice. ‘You haven’t paid me back the last five. Do you think that might happen first?’ I didn’t even ask why he needed the money. I might be too easily persuaded.
His head spun to face me, furious but controlled. ‘That’s a bit low. You know I can’t.’
‘Then why should I lend you more?’
‘For Christ’s sake, sis. I need this money. I admit some of it’s for debts I shouldn’t have run up but Meera’s asked for it to help Jackson go on a photography course. Come on. We’re family and you’re loaded. Look at all this.’ He got up and came to stand with both his hands planted on the desk.
I refused to be intimidated by him. ‘One, I’m not loaded. Perhaps I am by your standards but we’ve worked hard to get – and to keep – what we’ve got. And two, of course I want to do all I can to help you but you’ve got to help yourself too. I can’t always be an easy touch whenever you’ve run out of funds. Not even for Jackson.’ I could almost hear Rob cheering me on. He’d always said I’d been too soft on Dan and that he was a drain on our resources. Again, the irony was not lost on me. However, the five thousand was not the only debt that had gone unpaid. But if I didn’t say something now, this would just go on and on. The older he got, the harder he’d fi
nd it to find work and he needed to think about that. ‘You can’t rely on me. I always give you a roof over your head and food when you need it. Why isn’t that enough?’
‘You can be so hard when you want to be. Mum wouldn’t believe it.’
‘Then it’s a good job she’s not around. And don’t bring her and Dad into it. This has nothing to do with them. She wouldn’t believe that you’ve done so little with your life.’ The words were out before I could take them back.
I watched his eyes narrow and his lips tighten and then he shook himself. ‘Below the belt. Being driven isn’t the sign of a good person, you know. Not everyone has to prove themselves at all times. If you won’t lend me what I need, then I’ll manage without. I’ll find a way.’
I didn’t have time to ask how because he turned on his heel and left the room, closing the door quietly behind him. I sat quite still in my chair. Men and money! How had I got myself into the middle of them? Perhaps I had been too harsh on Dan. He had always muddled through working at this and that, though less frequently the older he got. It was as if he felt he’d paid his dues and now the world owed him a living. I was a convenient pit stop in his world. But my pot wasn’t limitless, especially now Rob had stuck his fingers in the till. All this was so hard.
18
The motorbike held no appeal to Linda whatsoever. She stood with her hands on her hips, staring at the dusty black beast, wondering how the hell she was going to get out of this one. Only minutes before, they’d been at breakfast discussing the day ahead.
‘I’d like to go over to Valldemossa to see if this Jack Walsh is any good as an artist or not.’ Dan had been concentrating on dipping his croissant into his coffee without it falling to pieces, so his face was hidden when he made this announcement.