Karma Kitty Goes to Comic Con

by Mari Mancusi

  “Sure. Whatever.”

  He was pissed. Great. But there was no time to right things now. She'd have to do it after the ninja fight. Good thing she hadn't taken off her boots yet.

  She pulled open the door and peered from left to right. Hm. No sign of the guy. She carefully crept into the hall, closing the door behind her. The thing about ninjas, she knew, was they could be very hard to spot. She took a few steps and sniffed, trying to locate them with her Super Smell. Suddenly, she got a distinctive whiff of an eel avocado roll, covered in soy sauce and topped with ginger.

  Bingo.

  She leapt around the corner, launching into full fighting stance. Sure enough, the ninja stood there, outside room 1412. He looked up, evidently surprised someone had been able to sneak up on him (Thank you, Karma Kitty Super Stealth.) and held his hands up in a defensive pose, letting loose a string of some Asian words Hailey had no way to translate.

  She charged toward him, swinging out a foot to connect with his stomach. He dodged her easily and spun around, low, sweeping out a leg to trip her. Pain slammed through her ankle as his calf connected and she went sprawling through the air.

  But luckily, as a rule, Karma Kitty always landed on her feet.

  Hailey recovered and flipped forward, catching the ninja off guard. She jammed a fist low, connecting with his groin. He bellowed in pain, staggering backwards and she took her momentary advantage to grab a nearby vase off a hall table and whip it at his head. Flowers flew and water splashed, followed by the distinctive thud of ceramic against skull. Followed still further by the now unconscious ninja hitting floor.

  Panting for breath, she poked him with her toe. Now that the rage of battle was fading she started to worry that maybe she'd hurt him too badly. She had no desire to go down for murder one, even if she could prove it was self defense. (Which would be pretty hard to do considering she made the first blow.)

  But luckily for her, the ninja groaned and sat up, rubbing his eyes. He looked up at her. She gave him a little wave, a little smile, then raised her not-so-little fists. The ninja scrambled to his feet and ran, as fast as his pajama'ed legs could carry him in the other direction.

  Hailey let out a sigh of relief and lowered her hands. Mission accomplished and no serious injury done to the evil party. She could now go back to Collin's hotel room and continue where they left off with no more distractions.

  “Where's your ice?” a fully dressed Collin asked as she entered the room. He was flipping through the channels with a remote, finally settling on some kind of soccer game. Haley's felt her face heat as she realized in the heat of the fight, she'd totally forgotten her original fake mission. Now she was returning, disheveled, iceless, and no explanation that would make any sense.

  “Oh, well, I decided I wasn't all that thirsty after all,” she replied, knowing full well how lame she sounded. Her realistic excuses were getting worse than her weird ones. She decided to give it one more try. “Just thirsty for you, baby,” she added, dropping her voice to a husky tone.

  Collin flipped the channel again, settling on a TBS showing of The Shining. He set the remote down on his lap without looking at her. Not a good sign.

  “Oh, I love this movie,” she tried, plopping down close to him on the couch. He shuffled to the left, putting distance between them. Great. “Um, is something wrong?” As if she needed to ask.

  Collin turned to look at her for the first time since she'd re-entered the room. His face was stone cold, but his eyes revealed his hurt. “Look, I'm sorry,” he said. “I didn't mean to...well, what I mean to say is...” He raked a hand through his hair, obviously frustrated. “You know,” he said, angrily, “if you didn't want to have sex, you could have just spoken up. You make it seem like I'm forcing you to do something you don't want.”

  Hailey stared at him, eyes wide, mirroring her disbelief. Was that what he thought? That she was trying to avoid sleeping with him? God, there was nothing in the world she wanted to do more at that moment in time.

  “Collin, no!” she cried. “It's not that at all.”

  “Then what is it, Hailey? I'd really like to know.”

  And she'd really like to tell him. She slumped into the couch cushions. But admitting the whole Karma Kitty fighting ninjas out in the hotel hallway just didn't seem like it was going to exactly fly. He wouldn't believe her. He'd think she was lying and making excuses again. Just like before. Nothing had changed. Their relationship was still impossible.

  She rose from the couch. “I've got to go,” she told him.

  “Fine,” he replied, his voice devoid of emotion. He turned back to the TV.

  Hailey took a step towards the door. “Okay, so, I'm leaving.”

  “Later.” Obviously he wasn't interested in convincing her to stay. What a bastard. Thank god she hadn't slept with him. She gave him one more longing glance as she pulled open the hotel room door. He was still engrossed in the TV. Bastard. She wanted to slap him. But with her Karma Kitty powers, she'd probably leave too big a bruise.

  You know, the kind she couldn't explain.

  Chapter Five

  “And then what?”

  “Then I left,” Hailey concluded with a shrug, sawing at her waffle with strawberries and extra whipped cream the next day at breakfast. “Went back to my hotel room, raided the mini bar and passed out, surrounded by little empty bottles of booze.” She shoveled waffle into her mouth, a vain attempt to use fat and calories to soak up her inner pain.

  “That's a very anticlimactic story,” Thomas pouted. He took a sip of the Starbucks latte he'd insisted on smuggling into the restaurant after one sip of the place's home brew the morning before. “I was hoping for fireworks. At least multiple orgasms.”

  “If only that stupid ninja didn't show up,” she said, leaning back in her chair and letting out a sigh. “Why oh why do I get myself into these messes? I should have let Hiro Kim to face his enemies himself instead of getting involved. What possessed me to take on a gaggle of ninjas in the first place?”

  Thomas reached over to pat her on the hand. “Well, I thought what you did was very brave.”

  “Whoopdie do.” Hailey twirled her finger in the air. “Bravery, for the win and all that. Fat lot of good it'll do me. Hiro didn't even bother to thank me for putting my ass on the line. And let's face it; the guy could probably finance a small country. Shouldn't I, his kitty in shining pleather, now be entitled to a piece of that action?”

  “Maybe he'll name a pirate character after you,” Thomas comforted. “Besides, I'm sure he was appreciative. He just doesn't speak the language.”

  “Maybe...”

  “Anyway, if you're done your self pity party, take a look at this.” Thomas pulled out a sheaf of paper from the middle of his Comic Con program. “Someone handed it to me on the way in. According to this, Darken Pictures is scheduled to make some major announcement at ten this morning. I'm betting it's a new comic movie they're working on. Aren't you dying to know what it is?”

  “No.” Hailey sniffed. “Not in the least.”

  “Oh liar, liar, pants on fire,” Thomas scolded. “You're just bitter 'cause Collin works at Darken. But come on! Don't you want to see which sad sack comic book artist they suckered into selling his soul to Hollywood this time around?”

  She considered it. “Maybe a little. But we're standing way in the back. I so don't want Collin to think I'm stalking him or something.”

  “Great.” Thomas glanced at his watch. “Nine thirty. We'd better head over to the convention hall if we don't want to miss it.”

  They paid for their breakfast and headed to the Javits Center. .Once inside, they had to push through the already gathering crowd until they go to the outer limits of the flashy Darken Pictures booth. They needn't have worried about being spotted, Hailey realized, looking around. There were probably a thousand people, milling about, waiting for the big announcement.

  The folks at Darken had set up a makeshift stage at the top of the booth and suddenly t
riumphant sounding music erupted from the gigantic speakers flanking each side. Hailey watched as none other than Collin himself stepped up to the podium. She noticed, to some small satisfaction, that her ex looked exhausted and his clothes were wrinkled. Maybe he couldn't sleep last night, feeling guilty over the way he'd treated her.

  Collin cleared his throat and leaned into the microphone. “Thank you all for coming,” he said and Hailey's extremely disloyal heart panged at the sound of his voice. “We at Darken Pictures are really excited to bring you some very special news. A new partnership between comic book and motion picture.”

  “See?” Thomas poked her in the side. “I told you.”

  “Shhh.”

  “As for this morning, we will be working with the one and only Hiro Kim to develop a very high budget blockbuster film based on his amazing pirate comic book series, Shadow Booty Clan.”

  Hailey's mouth dropped open. She glanced over to Thomas, realizing he was wearing a very similar expression on his own face. Hiro Kim? The same Hiro Kim that swore time and time again he'd never sell out to Hollywood in a million years? The same Hiro Kim who Pixar once offered 30 million dollars for the rights to use his characters? He was selling out to Darken?

  Something was rotten in Comic Con, that was for sure.

  “What the hell?” Hailey hissed to Thomas as they watched the stage. A dazed looking Hiro approached the podium, bowing to Collin and then listlessly shaking his hand. “What's going on here?”

  Thomas shrugged, obviously as shocked as his partner. “I have no freaking idea,” he whispered back. “But I think Hiro's going to speak.”

  “I happy to work with Darken,” Hiro said in faltering English. “They very good company. My comic in good...arms?...with them. Thank you.”

  He bowed to the audience, who erupted in cheers. Many of them had been waiting for a Hiro Kim movie their entire lives. A few diehards in the back booed and yelled “Sell out!” but Hiro didn't seem to hear them. He just stared out into the crowd with dark, blank eyes. Finally, two security guards approached him and escorted him off the stage. Collin thanked everyone for coming by, urged them to check out the booth, then left the stage. The crowd dispersed, all abuzz with the news, many already updating their blogs with their PDAs.

  “Unbelievable,” Thomas murmured, still staring up at the now vacant stage. “Hiro Kim would never sell his comic book to a Hollywood studio. Never, ever, ever.”

  “Uh, hate to break it to you, dude, but he just did.” Hailey reminded him. “Guess everyone has their price.”

  “Yes, but...” Thomas scratched his head. “Don't you think it's more than a bit odd that last night he was being chased by ninjas and now he's doing something he never ever in a million years was going to do?”

  Hailey stared at him. She'd been so wrapped up in her own problems with Collin the thought hadn't occurred to her. “Oh my god, you're right!” she cried. “What if they found him again after? Maybe they work for Darken and threatened to kill him if he didn't sign away his rights.”

  It sounded kind of crazy, but the way everything else had been going, that was just par for the course.

  “Well, I doubt Darken Pictures employs ninjas,” Thomas mused. He reached into his pocket and pulled out the Shuriken from the day before. He turned the plastic star in his hands. “But these guys do.” He looked up at Hailey. “Booth 4294. Let's go.”

  They headed down the aisles, focused and on a mission, ignoring all the fun diversions they passed. There would be time for browsing later; right now they had a mystery to solve. Why the world's premier manga pirate artist would suddenly give away his film rights, one night after being chased by a gang of ninjas? Seemed a bit too much to be a coincidence. Hailey felt a bit like Nancy Drew as she fingered the clue in her hand. Of course, Nancy was more of a pacifist; never once, in her hundreds of adventures, had the redhead detective been forced to kick ninja ass.

  “It should be right over here,” Thomas remarked as they turned the corner. “Booth 4294.”

  Except there was no Booth 4294. Only an empty square of carpet where a booth might have once been, sandwiched between and a booth selling Pooka, the Goblin Cat stuffed animals and the Voodoo Babies stall.

  “Who was here at this booth?” Hailey asked the girl manning the Pooka booth. She was dressed all in black and had multiple piercings in her ears, nose, eyebrows and mouth. (And who knows where else underneath her clothes!) Hailey's publisher would so not have approved,

  “Um,” the girl pondered, tonguing her lip ring. “I think it was some agency.”

  Hailey cocked her head. “Agency?”

  “Yeah. You know, like people who represent artists. They were here yesterday.” She looked over to the booth and shrugged. “But when I got here this morning they were long gone.”

  Thomas and Hailey exchanged glances. “Do you remember what they were called?” Hailey asked hopefully.

  The pierced girl thought for a moment, then shook her braided head. “Sorry, I can't remember. I was totally swamped yesterday and didn't get to chat with my neighbors much. The only reason I know they were agents was 'cause that movie producer Collin Robinson came over a bunch of times yesterday to talk to them.” She fanned herself with her many ringed hand. “God, that guy is hot.”

  “Oh yeah, he's steaming,” Hailey muttered. Steaming mad at her, that was. Why, oh why, did everything in her life have to circle back to Collin? And what the hell did he have to do with the ninja agents? “Thanks for your help.”

  “Sure, no problem.” The girl smacked her gum. Hailey and Thomas turned to leave. “Oh, one other thing,” the girl said, calling them back. They turned around, expectant. The goth rummaged under her booth, then held out a shiny plastic object.

  A Shuriken.

  “I found this in the empty booth this morning,” she said, pressing the plastic throwing star in Hailey's hand. “Probably from one of their ninjas.”

  Hailey did a double-take. “Ninjas?” Now they were getting somewhere. “Are you sure?”

  The girl nodded enthusiastically. “Oh, didn't I mention it?” she asked. “Some of the guys behind the booth were dressed as ninjas. I figured they must be actors, hired for whatever promotion they were doing. They looked pretty cool, though. All serious like.”

  “Ninjas? Are you sure they were ninjas?” Hailey's pulse kicked up a few notches as she examined the throwing star. It was identical to the one the ninja had aimed at her head the night before.

  “There's really no mistaking ninjas, is there?”

  “Right. Well, thanks. You've been very helpful.” Hailey and Thomas said their goodbyes and hurried off.

  “This is getting weirder and weirder,” Hailey mused, tossing the throwing star in the air and catching it, as they rushed back to the Straylight booth. Their morning signing was in less than a half hour and they were going to have to cross almost the entire floor. “Why the hell would talent agents have ninjas at their booths?”

  “And why would those ninjas chase Hiro Kim after closing time?” Thomas added. “With plastic throwing stars, nonetheless.”

  “And what does any of this have to do with Collin?”

  Thomas stopped in his tracks. “Don't you see? It makes perfect sense. Yesterday, Hiro swears he hates everything Hollywood and never in a million years or for millions of dollars will he sell the rights to his pirate manga. The next day, after being chased by ninjas--belonging to a talent agent that a producer for Darken Pictures visited several times--he decides, out of the blue, to partner with said movie company. Coincidence? I think not.”

  “But I rescued him! The ninjas didn't get him,” Hailey protested.

  “Maybe they second a second round to grab him later. While you were busy attempting a real booty call, instead of the shadow type.”

  Hailey nodded, enthusiastically. “Maybe Hiro's staying at the same hotel as Collin. Remember, I saw that ninja poking around there. I'd assumed he was looking for me to get revenge, but maybe he was
sent to find Hiro.”

  “Or maybe he was looking for Collin,” Thomas finished. “To tell him they'd coerced Hiro into making a deal.”

  Hailey shuddered. “What do you think they do to people to get them to sign? Torture? Blackmail?”

  “Something bad, for sure,” Thomas said. “Because there's no other way Hiro would have signed away his comics to Darken Pictures.”

  Hailey's stomach rolled with realization “That means Collin's in on this somehow,” she said, a sinking disappointment settling in her gut. And here she assumed he'd be one of the good guys.

  Thomas put out a hand. “Hold on, don't jump to conclusions. Maybe Collin doesn't know the company's tactics. After all, heartbreaker though he may be, he doesn't exactly strike me as the type to blackmail and malign people, just to get them to sign movie deals.”

  Hailey considered this. “No, I guess not. But we know he visited the ninja agents during the day. And then there was a ninja outside his hotel room that night. Seems fishy to me.”

  “Well, I'm not saying he doesn't have dealings with him,” Thomas agreed. “But he's a producer. He probably deals with a ton of agents everyday. But maybe he doesn't know this particular agency's methods. Who knows, maybe they offered him Hiro's movie rights on a silver platter, without giving him any clue on how they planned to acquire those rights. Any Hollywood hottie with half a brain would jump at that offer, right? It's only the deal of the century, after all.”

  “I guess that makes sense,” Hailey mused. “I mean, as much as any of this does.” She looked over at Thomas. “So what do we do now?”

  “I guess we talk to Hiro. Though he doesn't speak much English. We'll need to find someone to interpret.”

  “But Hiro's hanging out with the Darken people.”

  Thomas nodded. “Exactly.” He looked at Hailey pointedly.

  She shook her head. “Oh no. No, no, no. I am so not going to kiss up to Collin just to gain access to Hiro.”