I can feel her presence through the door. Feel her eyes on my skin through the peephole.
“Look up, please.” I do as she asks, and the turning of a lock follows. Ava opens the door to let me in and as our eyes meet, the tightness around her features softens. “You didn’t have to rush back, Eli. It’s just that I was under the impression that only you and Captain—”
“No one else knows, Ava.”
“He’s right,” Captain says, a little out of breath from behind me. My hands clench at my sides, the effort to not pull her close and lock us away almost maddening. “Your location has been kept a secret from everyone in our precinct working this case. No one outside of myself and Detective Ford should know you’re here.”
My eyes are on hers as he speaks, taking in her body language—ready to step in if she’s afraid of the unknown male moving past us and entering my home. Something I realize rather quickly is unnecessary.
I don’t miss the way she gives him a small smile.
No cowering back. No distrust.
They share a look I can’t decipher, and then those baby blues settle back on mine. “Should we head inside, too?”
“Are you okay?” Without conscious thought, I reach out and take her hand in mine. Give those small fingers a gentle squeeze. “Need anything?”
“You’re here now.” Her voice is a gentle caress. So honest and sweet.
And fuck me if those simple words don’t make me feel a hundred feet tall. It also fortifies my need to keep her safe above all else.
She deserves to know how bad things are.
It’s true, and I hate it.
Hate that the fears she’s lost will be back.
Hate that once we step through my door things will get heavy, so I try to lighten the mood.
I give her a cocky grin and waggle my brows. “Is that your way of saying you trust me? That I’m your knight in shining armor?”
Her response is a roll of the eyes and a quick flick to my forehead. Hard, too. “Don’t let it go to your head, Detective, but I do, and it’s not easy for me to admit either. Especially since I know you’re keeping something from me.”
The smile drops my face. “Why do you say that?”
“Because I watch the news.” The hand still in one of my own shifts as she runs her thumb over my knuckles. “I’m also not blaming you.”
Chapter 8
Ava
He’s hiding something from me.
Has been for the last few days. Since I got here, really.
It’s this pesky little secret that comes to light every time he looks at me. That first glance always gives away his concern—the weight he carries on his shoulders is visible within those seconds before its replaced with want so consuming, I drown in those eyes. A longing that mirrors my own.
It’s also a reminder of why I can’t give in to my own desires.
The last thing I’d ever want is for Elijah to be in danger because his focus is not on what matters: catching Jason. He can’t afford to be distracted, and I can’t let my guard down.
“After you,” Elijah says then, taking my hand in his and turning me toward the door. As soon as I face the entry, Eli’s fingers slip from mine and skim up my arm, then across my back to settle just above the waistline of my pants. Low enough to tempt but still be appropriate.
He gives me a gentle nudge forward, and a shiver rushes up my spine as his pinky extends to caress the area of flesh not covered by my shirt and bottoms.
“Thank you.” It leaves me on a low whisper as goose bumps arise on my arms. Ignoring my attraction to him is getting harder and harder. Nearly impossible.
You can’t. Don’t put him in a position where he can be hurt.
That reminder—my motto—feels like being doused with ice-cold water. It centers me enough that I fake it the best way I know how and step away from his touch. Squaring my shoulders hurts, and so does the loss of that masculine scent of warmth and earth that surrounds him.
I don’t stop until I’m in the living room where another face awaits. “Hi.”
“Good to see you again, Miss Perry.” Captain Perez stands, hand extended toward me and I take it, giving it a small shake before pulling back. Two steps are all I get before Eli is beside me and watching our encounter with curiosity.
“Likewise.” There’s an oversized chair to my right, and I take a seat there, ignoring the urge to move closer to the man currently driving me insane.
“Again.” Eli doesn’t ask. It’s a demand for answers.
“Yeah.” My eyes flick to his boss, and he gives me a nod. Okay. So, I guess this one is on me.
“We met through a video conference call when I was told I’d be transferring here. He was nice enough to try and give me some reassurance—tell me what to expect.” At my explanation, Elijah just stares. Nothing in his facial expression gives way to his thoughts. “He’s the one that promised to place his best in charge of my protection. He gave me you.”
“I see.” That’s all he says, and I look at Perez for some help.
Can I be mad at him? No. Not really.
Not when we all have secrets. Even if it’s not done with malicious intent.
“How about we focus on what’s important here.” Perez tone holds an edge of anger. It simmers beneath the surface and once again, fear strikes me. I’ve seen the news coverage. The missing girl. “What did Meyers say, Ava?”
“He wanted to know if I was alone. If Elijah left a file behind for him to pick—”
“Word for word, Ava.” This comes from Detective Ford. His tone is brusque and full of ire. My eyes meet his, and gone is the soft look or cocky grin. In that moment, he’s a no-nonsense officer of the law.
He’s not the man who welcomed me into his home with a smile and calmed my fears.
He’s not the Elijah who made a huge mess inside the kitchen and I wanted to kiss stupid.
“Go on, Ava. Tell us what he said,” Perez looked between us, sensing the tension rising.
“The phone rang twice, and I picked up, thinking it was Detective Ford. All I said was hello, when the man spoke. It happened so fast and I felt off—he made me feel uncomfortable.” Tucking my feet beneath me, I place my hands in my lap, nervously playing with an old silver ring that belonged to my mother. “He asked for you...” my eyes shift to Eli “...and when—”
Fords eyes soften. “Exact words, sweetheart. Please.”
Taking in a deep breath, I let it out slowly and gave a nod. “He said, and I quote: ‘Where’s Ford? Why are you answering his phone?’ I tried to answer, but he carried on over me. He came across as agitated. ‘Did he leave a file for me before leaving you alone, Ava?’
“Did he mention anything about the file? Anything specific?” Perez asks. In his hand he has a pen and is jotting something down atop a thick manila folder.
I shake my head. “No. Nothing about its contents.”
“Did he say anything else?” This time it was Elijah who spoke; he’s sitting forward, hands clenched at his sides.
“He caught me off guard, and I asked him who he was and how he knew my name, but instead of answering, he laughed...his chuckle held an edge of anger that gave me the creeps.” Closing my eyes for a few seconds, I try to shake the memory away. Take myself out of that moment of fear and concentrate on my breathing. It takes a minute or two, and I’m thankful that neither man rushes me. When I’m ready—when my heart calms and I can speak without a knot lodging itself in my throat, I look at Elijah again. Focus on him. “I’m Detective Meyers, Miss Ava, and we’ll be seeing you soon.”
Elijah stands abruptly, nearly tipping over the small coffee table in front of him. Two glasses fall, shattering upon impact with the floor. The small picture frame beside them didn’t make out any better.
“I’m going to kill every one of those motherfuckers. Those sons of bitches are going to regret the day they were born—”
“Miss Perry, please give us a minute. He might need a moment or two to
calm down.” They both exclaim in unison, one in pure fury and the other with a decorum that’s drowning within his own ire.
Moreover, I listen without hesitation, but not before pausing at the entrance to the hallway that leads to my bedroom. “You owe me an explanation, Eli.”
Not a request or plea. The man knows what I’m talking about, and I won’t elaborate.
Today. Tomorrow. In a few days’ time.
Doesn’t matter because I deserve to know just how much danger I’m in—how bad and out of hand things are.
Elijah doesn’t look back at me from his place near the balcony doors; his head is hanging down and his breathing is hard, but he does something that’s enough for me.
He nods.
“Feeling better, Detective?” I ask the second he steps outside onto the balcony. It’s been a few hours since his blowout reaction, the one drowned within his truth to avenge me and the lives lost at Jason’s hands.
His anger was palpable. It took over the room and infiltrated every single inch of space—a suffocating presence that made my heart clench.
Not because he’s a threat.
Not because I worry.
It’s because I want to take his emotions as my own and make him smile. God help me.
When his boss asked me to leave, I felt a hint of relief and I hated it. Hated that the small distance gave me a chance to think. To be strong enough not to give in to my desires of being his more.
At first, I took comfort in my room, putting my noise-canceling headphones on to drown out the cursing—to ignore him and the slamming of something large against a wall—but nothing playing through the device came close to stopping my yearning.
This need that simmers beneath the surface and controls me.
Stop, Ava. Elijah’s under a lot of stress and doesn’t need my hovering.
And I understand that. I also know that as human beings we need to release the pent-up anger consuming our personas before we snap.
He needs space, and I’ll give it to him. I can’t begrudge him either.
Nor am I afraid.
Even if his anger was bad enough that Captain Perez took him out of the apartment.
Where he went? I have no clue, but when the condo became too quiet, I left the safety of my room to investigate and found them gone. Which led me here, outside on his balcony overlooking a bay that’s too beautiful for words.
“Are you okay?” His voice is rough, hoarse, and tinged with regret. “I’m sorry if I scared you, Ava. Please know that you’re always safe—”
Looking back at him from over my shoulder, I give him a small smile. “I know.”
“Thank you.”
Turning around, I lean on the railing with a raised brow. “Why are you thanking me?”
Elijah shrugs. “I’m just glad you’re not running from me. That you’re not asking for a reassignment.”
I bat my lashes while crooking a finger. “Not happening, my dude. You’re stuck with me.”
“Is that so?” He chuckles, shaking his head before stepping fully onto his balcony. Elijah’s gait is slow and without the earlier tension. To be honest, he looks sexy.
That swagger—his virile masculinity—causes my thighs to clench, and a tiny gasp gets caught in my throat. Yup. Totally screwed.
“It is.”
“I’m very cool with that.”
“Good. Now how about filling me in on...” I trail off because even though I hate to bring up something unpleasant, we have an overdue conversation pending.
“Fair enough.” He nods, stopping beside me and looking out onto the water. The view is amazing; waves crashing and a bright blue sky with a few high-rise buildings, each with a unique structural fascia, make up the skyline. “Where do you want to start?”
“Weston.” Because that’s when the secrets began.
“Would you like to take a walk with me?”
“Is it safe to do so?” I counter his question, liking the idea of going outside with him more than I should. My heart wants to grasp the opportunity to do something normal…with him.
He nods again. “You’re always safe with me.”
“I trust you.”
“Thank you.” Turning his face, his warm eyes settle on mine. “They’ll also be two squad cars nearby until Jason is caught. They’re only a radio call away.”
“Okay.” Taking in a deep breath, I let it out slowly. “And do you promise to be completely honest with me?”
“Yes.”
No hesitation. No doubt.
“Then yes. I’d really like that.”
I’m speechless. Horrified. Overwhelmed by everything Elijah has said.
Mind going around in a hundred directions as I try to make sense of his words.
More girls. More lives taken, and each one is my fault.
Christ, will this nightmare ever end?
My eyes close as tears gather at the corner of my eyes. I’m trying hard to control my emotions. To not show how helpless I feel, but as a lone drop falls down my cheek, he wraps an arm around my shoulders and tucks me against his side.
“Whatever you are thinking...stop,” he murmurs into my hair, placing the tiniest of kisses there. It’s comforting, and if I’m being honest with myself, I want to burrow deeper into his warmth and never come out. “None of this is your fault, Ava. Do you hear me?”
“But—”
“None of it.”
The vehemence in his tone pulls me from my temporary safe haven, and I look at him through watery eyes and trembling lip. “There’s more to our past than what’s in your notes, Elijah. I should’ve known...should’ve seen the signs when we were kids and told someone about his—”
“Tell me.” There’s not a single hint of reproach in his stare, nor does he pull away from me. Instead, his arm lowers to encircle my waist as he looks out over the water, letting me take my time.
“Everything began...shit!” The sound of a seagull suddenly flying close pulls my attention away from the man sitting beside me on this pier. It gives me a respite to gather my thoughts. To confess something that only three other people know.
This isn’t the first time Jason tried to harm me.
Two more birds follow, and I duck a bit as one glides close.
“They won’t hurt you,” he says from beside me, but I can’t turn away from them. They are so many. Most are perched along the tide pools below us, yapping and cleaning their feathers before taking flight once more, some to feed, others to harass the people walking among them.
For the most part they don’t come near us, though, giving preference to a group of what looks to be tourists feeding them bread down below.
This scene seems so normal and is slightly amusing considering the reasons we’re here. The topic of our conversation.
What I need to tell him.
It’s also interrupted by the sudden loud ringing of Eli’s phone. At once, I shift my eyes over and take note of the way his jaw ticks. Of the grim line of his lips.
He’s pissed, and yet remains cool while muttering a low fuck.
“Everything okay?” I ask, taking account of the sudden annoyance crossing his features.
“Yeah,” is all he says while pulling the phone from his pocket, reading the message, and then returning it to its place. Those eyes of his are warm, though, as they meet mine, and the sudden apprehension that settled into my bones at once dissipates. “It’s my mom, Ava. I owe her a call and she’s just nagging...I promise.”
No rush. No anger.
I hold my finger up to him. “Pinky swear?”
“Pinky swear. No more secrets.” Maybe it’s childlike, but he follows through and links his with mine. A simple gesture, but it means everything to me at that moment—takes a stressful situation and turns it into something which gifts me a semblance of comfort. There’s no urge to run, something that’s a bit confusing yet true, because I know in my heart that he’ll protect me.
This moment—full of heartache and fear—
isn’t as hard to carry with him beside me. Someone who will listen. Help me.
And maybe it’s that feeling of ease, or the laughter of some innocent child down below that makes me talk.
“This all started when I was fifteen.”
Chapter 9
Ava
“Ava, what are you—”
“Please let me speak, Detective.”
“Sorry.” Elijah turns to face me, his hand now holding one of mine, fingers intertwining, while his lips gift me a warm smile. “But please know that you can tell me anything without concern for judgement. I’ve got you.”
“Thank you.” I reciprocate his smile with a small one while reaching with my free hand for the bottle beside me. Grabbing it, I bring the Vitamin water to my lips and take a few quick sips. Thinking. Mentally going back to that day—to the memories I once buried in the past due to embarrassment. Stupidity. Fear of no one believing me. “Of course, back then I didn’t see it as anything more than bullying or him being an ass, but Jason tried to forcibly steal a kiss from me on that specific birthday.” He tenses but doesn’t interrupt; the muscles of his arm coil tight, yet his hold on my hand is tender and his stance a bit protective. Preparing himself for what’s to come. “My best friend, Rose, and I were out in my backyard late that night after my birthday party ended. We were hanging out and talking smack like kids do at that age...you know? I remember her giggles, the way she gushed about spending the night and possibly getting to see her crush from my bedroom window.”
“Your neighbor.” Not a question.
“Yes. Anthony.”
“Go on, sweetheart.” His tone is gentle, and I appreciate it. “All this will be very helpful.”
“Okay.” I lean forward a bit and kiss his cheek. It’s quick and a rash move, but I don’t dwell on it. Instead, I sit back and close my eyes, letting the words flow before chickening out. “Don’t quote me on the exact time, but my guess is on it being close to midnight when they both strolled through my backyard reeking of weed and alcohol. They were loud and obnoxious, and since we were supposed to be upstairs in my room, no one came looking for us. It was the norm, anyways. Everyone in our neighborhood knew they hung out late on their side of the fence doing the exact same thing most Saturdays.”
Keeping Ava Page 6