by Nance Sparks
“Oh, you think so, cheesy McCheese Head? I’ve been known to be pretty good at air hockey.” Riley swung the camera around to her back. “Bring it!”
Andrea lost three games in a row to Olivia, mostly because she was too busy watching Riley play. She and Sydney were a good match, tied at two games apiece. They moved on after Sydney won the tiebreaker game. Andrea was sure that Riley had thrown the final game on purpose and the thought alone made her smile. So far, so good. Everyone was getting along very well. The girls begged to go on a virtual reality ride around a dinosaur park. The four of them climbed up onto the platform and sat in the seats. There were lots of squeals and screams as dinosaurs tried to derail the scenic cart, snapping at the group with razor sharp teeth. Andrea reached over and held Riley’s hand for a few minutes. It was like they were a little family. Happiness filled her heart, and she didn’t want the ride, or the feeling, to end. It was becoming clearer by the moment that she wanted more. She wanted something that Riley had told her she couldn’t give. Maybe she would change her mind if she enjoyed the day with the girls and saw that having kids around could be fun.
“Hey, Sydney, why don’t you and Olivia climb up on those motorcycles and let me take your picture,” Riley said.
Andrea helped Olivia up on a street racing motorcycle and then scanned the card so the girls could race. She could hear the shutter clicking and couldn’t resist resting her hand on the small of Riley’s back. This felt right. Nothing else had ever felt more right. She decided at that moment to talk with the girls later that evening about her feelings for Riley.
“Why do you use that kind of camera and not a phone like everyone else?”
Sydney pulled Andrea out of her thoughts. The game had ended and the girls were standing in front of them. She let her hand slide down from Riley’s back.
“Well, phone pictures are fine for some things, but this camera lets me decide on a bunch of different settings that most phones don’t know how to do. And I can pick different lenses to use based on what I’m shooting,” Riley said.
“What do you mean?”
“Let’s do an experiment. How about we take the same picture with your mom’s phone and with my camera. Why don’t the three of you stand over there by the motorcycles.”
Riley held up Andrea’s phone and took a photograph and then lifted her camera to her eye and took another photograph. Sydney darted toward Riley the moment the shutter clicked. The two of them seemed like kindred spirits. Andrea shook her head.
“The first thing I want you to do is to look over where you were standing. Pay attention to the colors, the flashing lights. Notice what the screen looks like on the game right there.” Riley held up the phone and opened the photo app. “Now, look at this, compared to real life. You see, with the phone, the settings aren’t designed to recognize the dark and the flashing lights. Also, the auto flash kicked on and your faces are sort of bleached out and look grainy. All three of you have red Dracula eyes too. The bright colors flashing in the room are muted and dull, and the screen on the game behind you is all washed out. You can’t see the racetrack at all.”
Riley handed Andrea her phone and then lifted her camera. She clicked a button and the display screen on the back of the camera came to life. Andrea opened the photo app on the phone and looked at Riley’s camera. The images were as different as night and day. Andrea was still amazed at her talent.
“Here, I didn’t use a flash. Because of this, the bright colors that you see with your eyes are also on my screen. There’s a decent amount of light coming from the dining room to illuminate your faces, so your skin is almost the correct color, but see here how your hair glows with the greens, reds, and blues that are surrounding you? The clarity and focus are different too.” Riley touched the screen and it zoomed in closer. “Look at how clear your eyes are and how Olivia’s freckles show up. That kind of detail isn’t in the photo on the phone.”
“How do you know how to do that?” Sydney asked, staring avidly at the picture on the camera.
“Well, you know how your mom is a nurse and she went to college to learn how to be a nurse? I’m a photographer. I went to college to learn how to do this.”
“She was a photographer long before she went to college.” The photographs of herself plastered all over Riley’s walls popped into her mind.
“Mom, I want to be a photographer when I grow up!” Sydney said. “Can I try a picture with your camera?”
Panic leapt into Andrea’s chest. “Syd, not today. That camera probably costs more than our car.”
“I tell you what. I only brought this one camera today and it’s for work, but I have another one that I’ll bring up next time. It’s the camera that I learned how to take pictures with. I’ll show you some tricks. How’s that sound?” Riley smiled.
“That sounds cool!” Sydney’s face lit up with excitement.
“Will you bring me a camera, too?” Olivia asked.
“She has to copy everything I do.” Sydney rolled her eyes.
“Do not!” Olivia stomped her foot. “I can want to take pictures too.”
“Girls, enough,” Andrea said. “It’s time for lunch.”
The pizza buffet offered everyone their favorite. Andrea set her plate and drink on the table before sliding into the booth next to Riley. She tapped Riley’s leg with her knee and gave her a wink when she looked up.
“Riley, where are your kids? How many kids do you have?” Olivia asked.
Riley pulled the pizza away from her mouth without taking a bite, her eyes wide. “I don’t have any children.”
“Why don’t you have any kids? Don’t you like kids?” she asked.
“I don’t dislike kids. I just don’t have any of my own.”
“Where’s your husband?” Olivia cocked her head a bit.
“I don’t have a husband,” Riley said around a mouthful of pizza.
“How about a boyfriend?” she asked, her brows furrowed.
Andrea thought of stopping the line of questioning, but Riley might as well get to know Olivia for the inquisitive child that she was.
“Nope, no boyfriend.” Riley smiled.
“Even I have a boyfriend. His name is Marcus. He sits behind me in class. Don’t you like boys?” Olivia asked.
“I don’t dislike boys, I’ve just never had a boyfriend.” Riley took a bite of pizza and shot a puzzled glance at Andrea.
“Never? Like never ever, ever? But you’re old, like my mom!”
Andrea picked up her orange pop and sucked in a long sip. Awkward wasn’t exactly the word. Mortifying, maybe.
Sydney twisted in her seat to face Olivia. “Oh my God, Livy, sometimes you can be so dense. Come on, Mom hasn’t stopped talking about Riley since she got back! Riley doesn’t have a boyfriend because she wants mom to be her girlfriend! Not everyone likes boys! I don’t like boys like that, either. I’m with Mom and Riley. I’d rather have a girlfriend!”
Andrea began choking on the soda. The mouthful of orange pop shot directly up into her sinuses at the same time it dove down her throat and into her lungs. The burn was instant, and the bubbles made her eyes water. She snorted, coughed, and sneezed simultaneously. She franticly reached for napkins in a hopeless effort to contain the bubbly liquid streaming from her.
When she looked up, Sydney and Olivia had orange pop dripping down their faces. It was everywhere. Orange pop covered their shirts and their plates of food. Thankfully, no one was sitting in the booth behind them because they certainly would have gotten a shower too. Riley was no help, since she was laughing too hard to speak. Tears were streaming down her face. Sydney’s face was bright red. Her eyes were as big as saucers. She blinked and orange pop dropped off her eye lashes. Andrea took in the sight of her children and burst into laughter while still coughing, sputtering, and gasping for air. She pulled handfuls of napkins out of the dispenser
and offered them across the table. Olivia looked at the napkins and then looked into Andrea’s eyes.
“What just happened?” Orange pop continued to drip off her chin.
Andrea couldn’t speak yet and looked at Riley, who finally gasped in a regular breath and stopped laughing long enough to start wiping up the table.
“Hey, I know of a store close by that sells Bears jerseys. I could get one for each of you,” Riley said, while shaking pop from a piece of pizza.
“Ouch, dagger right through my heart!” Sydney started to push Olivia out of the booth. “Come on, Livy, let’s go clean up in the bathroom. We’ve got Mom spit all over us.”
“Girls, I am so sorry,” Andrea said between fits of laughter. “Thanks for helping, Syd.”
Sydney leaned back across the table and tapped Riley on the arm. Riley turned toward her and then knuckle-bumped Syd before she slid the rest of the way out of the booth and led Liv toward the bathroom.
“Did you just knuckle-bump my daughter?” Andrea shook her head. Definitely kindred spirits.
“She looked like she could use an ally.” Riley dabbed Andrea’s chin with a napkin.
She leaned into Riley. “What the fuck just happened? Did Syd just come out to us?”
“Well, I don’t think she’ll have any issues accepting us, and she’ll certainly remember the day she came out to you.” Riley bit her lip, trying not to laugh. “Haven’t stopped talking about me since you got home, huh?”
“Apparently not. I don’t even know what to say! Sara called and wanted details on our three days together. I didn’t think the girls were listening. Fuck me! Was I really just outed by my lesbian daughter? Can she even know that about herself this early?” Andrea asked.
“Really, Andi? How old were we when we shared our first big kiss beneath our tree? Thirteen, maybe fourteen? Sydney’s fourteen. I think she knows who she is.”
“Holy shit, my babies are growing up.” Andrea stopped cleaning up the table and turned to Riley. “Are you going to watch the football game tomorrow?”
“I’ll probably have it on, why?” Riley asked.
“Do you know if it’s the early game or the later one?”
“I think it starts at noon.”
“Would it be rotten of me to invite the three of us down for the game? Today’s not enough and it’s too soon to have you stay the night, but I’m more than happy to make the trip down tomorrow if it means I get more time with you.” She bit her lip. Was she moving too quickly? The girls seemed to have taken to Riley right away, so was there any point in moving slowly?
“That would be fantastic! I’ll pick up some food when I get home tonight. Come over anytime.”
Andrea collected the pop-covered plates of pizza and walked toward the garbage cans. Everything was so easy and fun with Riley, even this unexpected moment. The girls certainly seemed to get along with her great. Syd felt comfortable enough around Riley to come out. Why hadn’t she said anything to Andrea before today? Did her inability to talk to the girls about her sexuality keep Syd from feeling like she could open up? Everything was up in the air at the moment, and it had Andrea a little off balance. She looked over to Riley and savored the rush of affection that she felt throughout her body. Would the girls get too attached if they tried for something more? Andrea certainly wanted to try for more but worried the girls would get hurt if things didn’t work out, which she stupidly hadn’t even considered before. What if Riley didn’t want a life tied down by children and her brick-and-mortar job at the hospital? It was all such a risk. Maybe it would all become clearer with a bit more time.
Chapter Twenty-five
Riley climbed up into her truck and sat behind the wheel. She’d walked Andrea and the girls to her car. It was difficult to share a quick hug and wave good-bye. What she wouldn’t have given for a little something more than a concealed peck on the side of the neck when they hugged. It was difficult to hit the affection brakes after their week in Alaska. There was a time and place for everything, and she didn’t need the kids to feel uncomfortable.
The afternoon spent together at the arcade had been light and fun. Much better than she’d expected. The girls had such different personalities. Olivia seemed to go on full speed at all times, consumed with questions and thoughts about anything and everything. Sydney was much more laid-back but keenly aware of everything that happened around her. It didn’t seem like there was much she missed. The way her eyes darted around showed how much she paid attention to every little thing. Not to mention she’d figured out the relationship between her and Andi practically within seconds.
She started her truck and backed out of the parking space. Just as she was turning out onto the interstate heading south, her phone rang. Riley glanced at the display screen on the dashboard and smiled. She pressed a button on the steering wheel and connected the call.
“Hey, Mom, this is a nice surprise. How are you? How’s Dad?”
“Hi, honey. We’re doing pretty well. Are you home? I called to see how your trip went. I kept expecting to see posts with pictures on Facebook, but your page has been eerily quiet. Is everything okay?”
“Everything’s fine, Mom. I just haven’t had any time to post yet.” Riley checked her mirror and changed lanes.
“Where are you? It sounds like you’re in a cave.”
“It’s road noise. I’m on the expressway, heading home from Wisconsin.” Riley set the cruise control and kept pace with the flow of traffic.
“Well, call me when you get home. You shouldn’t talk and drive.”
“My truck is linked to my phone so it’s hands-free. No different than if you were sitting next to me and we were chatting. It’s okay if I talk and drive, if the road noise isn’t too annoying.” It was nice to have someone to talk to. It would help her get away from the thoughts constantly swirling in her head.
“Honey, did I get the dates wrong? Wasn’t this week your Alaska trip? What on earth are you doing in Wisconsin?”
Riley wasn’t sure where to start. It was all such a whirlwind. Then again, if anyone could help her sort it out, it was her mom.
“No, you didn’t get the dates wrong, but I did come back a few days early. Do you remember Andi?” Riley asked.
“I certainly do. I always had a soft spot for her. You two were my girls. I still think of her every so often.” Her mom had bragged throughout Riley’s childhood that she had two daughters and only had to give birth to one. She too had felt the loss of Andi in their lives.
“I drove up to Wisconsin to have lunch with her and her two daughters today,” Riley said. Saying it out loud sounded surreal.
“You don’t say. How’d all that come about?”
“You’re never going to believe this, but she was the maid of honor in the wedding I shot in Alaska. It was the most bizarre thing, to pick up on her voice at an event in the middle of nowhere. I’m still trying to make sense of it all. We spent the three days after the wedding exploring Alaska together.”
“That would explain your digital silence and why you didn’t call to let me know you were home safe. You two were always in your own little world when you were together. Did you take some time to heal old wounds?” The question lacked any judgement.
“We’ve talked. I think there’s better understanding between us. We both had such a skewed perception about what the other was feeling back then. She’s spent all these years thinking I walked away and never looked back. She thought I hated her.”
“I recall hearing something very similar from your lips back then about her. Misunderstandings have destroyed many a relationship. That’s why open and honest communication is so important. What do you hope comes of this, as if I need to ask?”
“Something, everything and yet, I’m not sure. It was just the two of us for those last few days in Alaska and we still have such an amazing connection. Everything clicked like
no time had passed at all. The complications are starting to pop up now that we’re home. My schedule at the studio dominates my time. She’s a mom, which is weird to see, and has a pretty demanding life three hours north in Wisconsin.” Riley drew in a deep breath and let it out slowly.
“I take it she’s no longer with that fella who graduated with you two. Is she single?”
“Yeah, she’s single. They’ve been divorced for some time. He’s remarried now.” Riley looked at the screen on the dashboard almost expecting to see her mom’s face. She’d have to make time to see them in person soon. She tapped the steering wheel and looked back up to the road.
“Mom, if it were anyone else, I’d look at the big picture and consider all of the reasons why it wouldn’t be worth the effort. If it were anyone else, I wouldn’t think twice about walking away, but it’s not anyone else, it’s Andi and it feels so great to be with her again. She has this effect on me that I can’t explain, and I can’t seem to get enough. I don’t know how I could ever walk away a second time.”
“You two have always had such a bond. If your lives don’t blend, you always have your friendship to keep the connection alive.” Her mom had a way of seeing the silver lining in any situation.
“I thought about that, too, but I tell ya, I don’t think I could stand to see her with anyone else.” It felt good to admit that. She’d never said it out loud before.
“Honey, give it time. See if what you consider complications aren’t actually blessings. Your world is so meticulously planned. Even as a child, everything had to be just right and in its place. It’s okay for life to be a little messy. You can’t plan out every little thing.”
“It’s worked well so far.” Riley tried to quelch her defensiveness.
“Has it really? Seems to me like you’ve been lonely for a good long time.”
“Mom, I’ve been busy with work. There’s a lot on my plate. I have a very successful business to run, and it’s taken a lot to get it to where it is today.” It sounded like a feeble excuse, even to her. Her mom was quiet for a moment. Riley stared ahead at the road and waited for what was coming.