by Terri Garey
"Hey now." Evan put down his magazine and slipped over to take a seat on my other side, while I covered my eyes and tried not to burst into tears.
I'd cried enough lately. Three funerals in a month, and my own near death experience. Twin sister shows up, she's near death, too. But if I were going to have a sister, I'd prefer a live one to a dead one. I had enough ghoulfriends as it was.
"Miss Styx." Nurse Betty finally called my name. She hung up the phone as I hustled over, ready to behave and be quiet if she'd just tell me something.
"Dr. Bascombe would like to speak with you privately." She came out from behind the desk where she'd been planted. "If you'll step in here," she opened the door to a side room just a few steps away, "he'll be with you in a moment." Was that the teeniest bit of softening I heard in her voice? The room was small, nothing but a few chairs, cushioned ones this time, and a couple of side tables. There was a big box of tissues on one and a Bible on the other. Oh, shit.
I looked at Evan, a wave of panic closing my throat.
That was the signal he'd been waiting for. Both he and Butch shot up and came toward me. The nurse subtly positioned herself between us and asked, "Are you both family members?"
Oh, shit. Privacy? Family members?
"This is my brother." I spoke up before anyone else could, and reached out to catch Evan's hand. There was no way I was gonna be able to pull off both of them as relatives. Butch would understand.
Evan's fingers squeezed mine, and I squeezed back.
"Well, then." The nurse didn't question us further, ushering the two of us into the little room. "Dr. Bascombe will be right with you," she said, and closed the door.
Claustrophobia immediately set in, making the panic worse.
"Oh my God, oh my God, oh my God… Kelly's dead," I blurted. "She's dead, I know she's dead."
Evan gave a horrified gasp. "You do?" He grabbed my hands in both of his, glancing suspiciously around the otherwise empty room. "Did the nurse tell you this or did she?"
Even in my panicky state I knew what he was worried about. One ghost today had been enough for poor Evan.
The door opened and Joe stepped in, looking haggard. He checked when he saw us both standing there, then came in and shut the door behind him.
"Let's all sit." He wasn't smiling. Panic gave way to a kind of numbness as Evan and I sank into the cushioned seats, not letting go of each other's hand. Joe sat on my other side.
"How's Kelly?" My voice sounded surprisingly normal.
Joe reached for my free hand, and I gave him it to him without thinking. "She has a concussion, two sprained ankles, some broken ribs. She's dehydrated and very weak."
I blinked. Nowhere in there did I hear the word "dead."
Joe was still talking. "Ironically enough, the dehydration is probably what saved her. It kept the brain swelling under control and a blood clot from forming. The head injury could've been much more serious otherwise. But another day or so and dehydration would've killed her. Her kidneys would've shut down. All in all, she's in surprisingly good shape."
The numbness persisted, so I tried to focus on Joe's warm grip on my hand. "She's going to be okay?"
He nodded, but he still wasn't smiling. "She's going to be okay."
"Hallelujah." Evan blew out a noisy breath. "You had us scared to death! Why couldn't you just tell us that in the waiting room?"
Really. I closed my eyes and let my shoulders slump, surprised at the amount of tension they carried.
"Because there's something else."
Joe's answer brought my eyes open again. I looked at him, waiting for the other shoe to drop.
"She's been in and out of it, but we were able to talk a • little." He hesitated. "She knows about you, Nicki."
"What? You told her already?" I stared into Joe's eyes, not knowing quite how to feel about that. Seems like he and Kelly had already done quite a bit of catching up. I couldn't help but wonder if they'd done some making up, too.
Joe was shaking his head. "I was too busy trying to save her life," he said. "I'll tell her about us as soon as she's stable."
His gaze never wavered, but the detached calm that made him such a good doctor made me nervous. Despite his promise, a little stab of jealousy hit. Was this a doctor being considerate of his patient, or a man putting off the inevitable with his wife?
"If you didn't tell her about me, then who did?"
He sighed. "The woman who was in the car with her." He paused, then added, "The woman who died. They were on their way to find you."
Now I was really confused.
"Lila? The woman in my store?"
"Nicki…" Joe glanced briefly at Evan, who was being uncharacteristically quiet. "I don't know any easy way to tell you this."
My fingers were numb from the death grip Evan had on my hand.
"Lila Boudreaux, the woman who died, was your mother."
Emily Styx was my mother.
Brown hair, plump cheeks, and sweet hugs. Adoring smiles and fresh-baked cookies for husband Dan and daughter Nicki. Advice and acceptance for me and my friends. Encouragement and pride. Love and warmth and laughter.
Those were my memories of my mother, and nobody could take them away.
I felt bad about Lila Boudreaux, but she was a stranger. A stranger who'd given me away without bothering to get to know me first. Even if she'd managed to survive the accident, she'd shown up far too late.
Although she could've at least said good-bye.
The corridor smelled strongly of whatever pine-scented soap the hospital used to mop the floors. I stood outside the door to Kelly's room at 9:00 A.M. the next morning, wondering what to say to her. My feelings for Joe, my thoughts of Lila, sympathy for what Kelly must've been through… everything was tangled up into a big knotted ball of curiosity and nervousness, curdling my stomach. I was about to meet my twin and my boyfriend's soon-to-be-ex-wife, all in one. This was huge.
I didn't have time to worry about the past. I had to deal with the present.
Before I could lose my nerve, I tapped at the door and went in.
Kelly was staring out the window, propped up against the pillows with her legs elevated. Her head was bandaged and so were both ankles. A smear of bluish-black bruises covered the side of her face, ugly twins to the ones on her arms.
She'd been crying. A box of tissues sat beside her on the bed, and she dabbed at her eyes, sniffling, as I came in. As soon as she got a good look at me, she froze, and so did I.
I had goose bumps. This was my sister.
"I'm Nicki." The words felt weird on my tongue, but I made myself say them. "I think I'm your sister."
Kelly sucked in her breath, eyes widening. I watched them fill with tears, while mine prickled uncomfortably. She pressed a bruised hand against her mouth while we stared at each other.
Then she held out her hands. They were shaking. Tears escaped her lashes and rolled down her cheeks.
"You look like her," she whispered. "She was so pretty." Her voice caught on a sob. "She's gone, you know."
I didn't need to ask who she was talking about, even though I didn't think Lila looked at all like me.
I moved toward the bed and took Kelly's outstretched hands, careful to let her do the squeezing. Then I sank down beside her on the edge of the mattress. Her hands were cold, while mine were sweating.
We were only a couple of feet away now, staring into each other's face. Her expression was impossible to describe—a mixture of wonder and sorrow that made me want to cry. But I was determined not to. I'd been through enough mascara lately.
I couldn't deny it—even with the bruises and bandages, looking into Kelly's face was like looking into a mirror. An ugly, bruised mirror, but whatever.
"How can this be?" she murmured.
My normal personality asserted itself. "Well, the way I understand it, the fertilized egg splits in two."
She smiled, her first one. "So you're a smartass, too. What a relief. At least we'll h
ave something in common."
I smiled back, finding it surprisingly easy. Kelly laughed a little through her tears, ending on a watery hiccup. Then she let go of one hand to swipe at her cheeks.
"I can't believe you're here." Kelly squeezed my hand again as fresh tears threatened. "I wish she could've—" A choked sob kept her from finishing the sentence.
I wished fiercely for Evan, or even Butch, to tell me what to do. I'd never been very good at tea and sympathy. I supposed I should be crying, too, but then I'd be crying for a total stranger, and that just didn't work for me.
Then I remembered what comforted me the most in those dark days after my parents died.
"Tell me about Lila," I said.
Kelly closed her eyes. Her throat moved as she swallowed.
"Peaches. She wanted us to call her Peaches."
My heart fluttered, then throbbed as the beat picked up. I'd smelled peaches when Lila came into the store.
"That was her nickname, and she thought it would be easier than calling her Mom. She was funny and sweet and had a ridiculous Southern accent. I couldn't believe it when she tracked me down—I got a letter from her about two weeks ago." Another hard swallow. Kelly's eyes opened, seeking mine. "After that, we talked on the phone almost every day. I had to come back to the States anyway to take care of some unfinished business, and when I flew into Atlanta, Peaches was there to meet me at the airport." Her voice cracked.
Kinda weird how she referred to Joe as "unfinished business," but I could imagine the scene; a tearful reunion of mother and daughter, thrilled and happy to find each other. Where did I fit into the picture?
Oh yeah, there I was, the gloomy one in the corner with the pink streaks in her hair.
"She was so happy to see me." Kelly swiped away tears, hand trembling. "She said the only thing that could possibly make her happier was if we found you."
It was still hard to believe that all this time I'd had a sister and a mother I'd known nothing about—even harder to believe they'd been looking for me.
Kelly drew in a deep breath. Her voice was stronger after she let it out.
"She was so excited. So was I." A tinge of irony crept in. "We'd find you, and then we'd all be together—one big, happy family."
I didn't know what to say, so I kept quiet while Kelly picked at the hospital blanket. "The adoption agency told her they'd keep us together. She was pretty upset to find out things didn't turn out that way." Kelly blinked back more tears, swiping them away.
"Why did she give us away in the first place?" The burning question, the one I'd wondered about all my life, came out before I could stop it.
Kelly waved a bruised hand. "Same old story. Too young, not married, boyfriend dumped her."
I had a sudden image of poor lonely Tammy, the teenage spirit who'd been haunting the Star Bar since the eighties because of guilt over an abortion. If Peaches had chosen that route, I wouldn't be here.
"You're very pretty," Kelly said.
"So are you," I lied. The bruises on her face would have to fade and the swelling go down before that statement could be remotely near the truth.
"I look like hell," she answered. "The night nurse was kind enough to lend me a mirror. But that's sweet of you to say."
An awkward silence descended as we stared at each other. She was nervous, and so was I.
"I can't believe you're here. You don't look anything like I imagined," she said. "You look so… so stylish. Like a model."
I'd been going for a cheerful, upbeat look when I chose the outfit, a vintage paisley halter dress in watercolor shades of aqua and pink. I hoped my nervous sweat wouldn't leave pit stains on the vintage material.
"Thanks." Kelly was definitely more of the "nature girl" type. Her brown hair was straight, worn long and parted in the middle. Aside from the bruises, she looked pretty much like what I expected. "I guess I have an advantage," I answered. "I've seen your picture."
Kelly blinked, tiny frown lines appearing between her eyes. "You've seen my picture?"
I took a deep breath. "Yeah. Joe showed me."
"Joe?" Kelly looked at me blankly.
Holy freakin' Mother of… she didn't know.
I stood up so fast I knocked the box of tissues to the floor. "Um… hasn't Joe explained things to you?"
Kelly's confusion got deeper. "How do you know Joe? Explained what?"
At that moment I knew how a deer in the headlights must feel. Kelly was no dummy, and within seconds, comprehension dawned. Her mouth fell open.
"Are you kidding me?" Her voice rose slightly. "You and Joe? My Joe?"
"Your Joe?" The words were out of my mouth before I could stop them. "When's the last time you saw him, or even spoke to him?"
"Last night," Kelly shot back. "How about you?"
My heartbeat responded to the hostility in her voice, speeding up.
"This morning," I said calmly, "and pretty much every day for the last month. He told me he was free to date anyone he wanted. Are you telling me different?"
Kelly's face had reddened beneath the bruises, giving her a mottled look. I held my ground, meeting her eye.
She looked away first.
"Joe's his own man," she murmured. "But that doesn't mean I want him dating my sister."
"I see."
Charged silence for a moment, then her face turned back in my direction.
We stared at each other.
"You still have feelings for him." I made it a statement, not a question.
"He's a great guy." Her chin quivered, just once, then firmed. "He didn't deserve what I did to him."
"No, he didn't." I wasn't giving an inch. There was too much at stake. "But he's over it."
"Then why didn't he tell me this himself last night?"
Good question, though I didn't care for the way she asked it.
I shrugged, playing it cool. "Maybe he didn't want to upset you. You've been through a rough time."
Kelly blinked, and it was like a shutter came down, veiling her thoughts. Her gaze flicked over my bare shoulders and the neckline of my halter dress. In an abrupt change of subject, she said, "I can see why Joe likes you."
Was that some kind of backhanded slap, or a genuine compliment?
"I'm sure he likes you, too." I forced myself to answer her lightly. If she wanted to play nice, I could play nice. "He married you."
She shrugged, then looked away. "Our marriage has been over for years, and I was the one who threw in the towel. You can have him."
"Gee, thanks." This time I couldn't keep the sarcastic edge out of my voice if I'd tried.
There was a silence, then she said, "I'm sorry." She bit her lip, still not looking at me. "I have a tendency to be a bitch sometimes."
"I know the feeling." I knew that feeling, and a few others. Right now I had the feeling I should leave.
But I didn't.
Kelly seemed fascinated with the crappy hospital curtains.
There was a chair in the corner opposite the bed. I took a seat without asking.
"You and Joe have every right to be seeing each other, even if it is kinda weird," she said after a moment.
Tell me about it.
"I mean, what are the odds of that? Joe dating my twin?" Kelly eyed me curiously, and I returned the favor. If she were waiting for me to venture an opinion, she'd just have to keep waiting.
She sighed and let her head fall back against the pillows. "It was just a shock, that's all. It's been a pretty bad week."
I couldn't help but feel sorry for her. She was lying in a hospital bed, black and blue and white all over. Those bandages made me itch just looking at them.
"There are so many things I wanted to talk to you about, Nicki. Hearing from Peaches was like a dream come true, but the dream seems to have turned into a nightmare."
I tried not to let that comment hurt my feelings, but it kinda did. True, Peaches was gone, but what was I, chopped liver?
"I think my pain medication is kicki
ng in." Kelly's face was pale, making the bruises all the more noticeable. "I'm really tired. Can we do this later?"
I got to my feet, surprised to find my knees a little wobbly. "I'll come back tomorrow."
"Thanks. By the way, I like your outfit. It looks… nice. Very colorful."
Then she ruined it by adding, "If that's the look you're going for."
"I hate her. And I hate Joe, too."
I'd called Evan on my cell phone as soon as I got to the car.
"What do you mean 'you hate her'?" Evan ignored my comment about Joe, knowing a lie when he heard it. "You can't hate her—she's your twin sister, for God's sake. Hang on a minute." I could hear the beep of the cash register in the background, so I waited until I heard him give a cheery, "Thanks so much. Come back and see us."
"Okay, so I don't hate her, but she's not making it easy." Evan would still have the phone cradled to his ear. I was barely paying attention as I drove my car out of the hospital parking garage.
"C'mon, Nicki, she can't be that bad." He was using his "let's humor the crazy chick" tone. "You barely met her."
"She dissed my outfit."
A horrified gasp, then a momentary silence. "What are you wearing?"
"The pink and blue paisley halter dress."
Evan sighed. "Well, no wonder. That thing's hideous."
"It is not," I shot back. We'd had this argument before. "I like it."
"It looks like the Easter Bunny threw up on you," he said. "Why in the world did you wear that?"
"You're not helping," I snapped.
"Okay, okay. But next time I'm picking the outfit."
"Next time? Who said anything about next time?"
"Nicholette Nadine Styx, there will be a next time, because she's the only family you have in the whole world. Which means you're the only family she has in the whole world. You're going to get over yourself, and you're going to get to know your twin sister, even if it kills you."
"Now there's an idea," I said glumly. "Can't I just kill her instead?"
Evan proved yet again how well he knew me by saying, "Quite frankly, I think you're just in a snit because God saw fit to create two of you instead of just one. You never could stand to share the spotlight. Then there's the guilt over the 'sleeping with her husband' thing."