by Terri Garey
Bijou opened her mouth, then closed it again. I waited, impatient, certain that if she started out with "once upon a time…" I'd scream.
"I had to see for myself which one of you girls was the strongest," Bijou said. "I had to see how you were with each other, and how you were with this house. I had to see how well you could resist temptation, and what was in your hearts."
I stared at her. It was amazing how the dead could seem so alive… so real in the physical sense. Face powder had caked in the wrinkles around Bijou's eyes. "Why?" was the obvious question.
"Because the house belongs to you now."
Huh?
"The house was to go to Peaches, and now it belongs to her daughters. I drew up my will that way. But I couldn't let you and Kelly have the house until I knew."
My brain was having a hard time making sense of Bijou's words. "Knew what?"
"Whether you were up to the task." The old woman paused, looked away. "Whether you truly had the knack."
The knack. The gift I never wanted. It was days like this that made me wish I'd never been sent back from the Light… I'd had enough of "doing unto others as I'd have them do unto me." Why couldn't somebody else "do" for a change?
"You put us in your will after only meeting us once?"
Bijou shook her head, smiling sadly. "I put you in the will when you were born, Nicki. It's the only way Peaches would agree to give you up, by knowing someday you'd have a reason to come back."
I stared at the old woman, numb. "You made her give us up."
Bijou didn't flinch. "Yes, I did. It was for the best."
Best for who? I pondered that question while my feelings stayed on hold. Considering what I'd seen in the room beneath the stairs, my mother had been dabbling in the black arts, and her best buddy was Satan. Maybe giving us up for adoption hadn't been such a bad idea.
"Something happened a few months ago," Bijou said. "I don't know what, but Peaches became convinced that both you and Kelly were in danger. She insisted on searching for you, and finally got access to one set of adoption records. That's how she found Kelly." The old woman's lower lip trembled, then steadied. "I think she knew something she wasn't telling me, and I think she died because of it."
"It was a car accident. It was nobody's fault she died."
Bijou dabbed delicately at her eyes with the black hankie. "Some people believe that there are no such things as accidents, that everything happens according to divine plan."
I had a mental flashback to the moment I'd had a few months ago… when I died. That brief flash of understanding about how all things are connected.
Bijou drew in a deep breath, squaring her shoulders. "I believe your mother died trying to protect you girls," she said calmly. "And now she's gone." Her voice changed, became the no-nonsense tone of a lecturing grandma. "You have to help Kelly. She's going to stay here, and she's going to need someone to look after her."
"How do you know she's going to stay?"
Bijou gave me a withering look.
"Oh." The family curse… the knack… whatever.
"She thinks she's strong, but she's not. She can't handle this house on her own."
My jaw dropped. "I'm not staying here."
"You don't have to." Bijou cut me off with a raised hand. The ostrich plume gave a delicate wave. "But you can still be her sister, her confidante, her—"
"Bosom companion?" I couldn't resist the snark, remembering Leonard's earlier description of Bijou and Odessa's friendship. This afternoon seemed so far away.
"Yes," Bijou replied, drawing herself up. "Her bosom companion. Someone she can talk with about her life, and the world of spirits, who won't think she's a total…" Here, Bijou teared up.
I'd made an old lady cry. Could the day get any worse?
"… a total freak." The black hankie was in use again. "The way the world treated your mother. If Peaches had only had someone her own age to confide in, to rely on, things might have been different." She turned her head, displaying a carefully coiffed helmet of gray hair, the beauty parlor standard of little old ladies everywhere.
I sighed, scrubbing my hands over my face. There were smears of mascara on my fingers afterward, but whatever.
"That's how the Devil will win with Kelly, you know," the black hankie was waving in the air, "he'll isolate her. He culls his victims from the herd like a wolf among the sheep." The ostrich plume was bobbing. Bijou was getting pretty worked up. "You've seen him, haven't you? I know you have."
Reluctantly, I nodded.
"But you were too strong for him, so he'll go for the weak one. You have to help Kelly grow strong enough to resist him."
I closed my eyes, utterly exhausted. Since when had I become the "strong" one? After a sleepless night of ghost-busting, betrayal, and redemption, I felt like the leftover potato salad at a church picnic.
"You and Kelly are stronger together," Bijou insisted. "Look what happened with Sarah and Johnny—it took the two of you, together, to put those poor children to rest. Don't you see? The war between good and evil has begun… don't let your mother's death be in vain. Don't let the Devil win."
"No disrespect intended, but if you know so much," I opened my eyes, "then how do I get rid of him?"
Bijou shook her head, jet earrings flashing. "The Devil can't be gotten rid of, dear." She leaned forward, straining the buttons on her black silk dress. "He can only be overcome, time and again, by what's in your heart."
"My heart's defective," I mumbled.
Why did these things always happen to me?
* * *
CHAPTER 20
Hot water sluiced over my head and splattered on the tiles beneath my feet. The Scarlett O'Hara bedroom had its own bathroom, with a walk-in shower and all the modern amenities.
I'd spent a sleepless night in the antique four-poster bed, trying hard not to give into the urge to call Joe on his cell phone, wherever he was, and beg him to understand, to take me back.
It was better this way. It really was. If he believed I was some kind of horrible person who kissed strange guys every chance I got, the kind of person who would say the kind of things Psycho Barbie had said to Kelly, then I was better off without him.
The running water covered the sound of my crying, and washed away my tears as quickly as they fell.
Just because I left him doesn't mean I didn't love him, Kelly had said. In fact, I still love him.
I turned, letting the water cascade over my shoulders as I buried my face in my hands.
Nicki's the kind of girl guys have fun with, but you're the kind they marry.
I lifted my head, sobbing, toward the ceiling. Steam was already rising, carrying with it my foolish dream of thinking Joe might be the "one"—the one guy I could trust not to break my heart.
And now, to add insult to injury, I had to help the woman who'd helped him break it.
I leaned into the shower stream and squeezed my eyes shut, letting the water hit me directly in the face.
If I had to do unto others, I'd rather do what Kelly had done to me and steal Joe away from her. I'm sure if I turned it on strong, I could give my sister a run for her money in the boyfriend department.
Unfortunately, my second chance at life had come with specific instructions. I'd been told to "do unto others as you would have them do unto you," not as they did to me.
I could ignore those instructions… but I had a feeling I'd regret it if I did.
Besides, I didn't want a man I had to steal.
I turned so the spray hit my shoulder, feeling hot water stream from the top of my head to my toes, and wiped my eyes.
And she'd had him first.
That thought made me wanna cry even harder, but I bit my lip and struggled to look at the bright side.
Joe was a good man, and he'd be good for Kelly. She'd been through a rough time—the car accident, the death of Peaches so soon after their meeting, a twin sister who couldn't be more her opposite. Like me, she'd been given the unfor
tunate knack of talking with the dead at a time when she needed all her strength.
Bijou was right, Kelly was vulnerable. The Devil would get her if I didn't take care of her. Joe's steady presence in her life would help keep her safe, just as he'd help keep me safe.
Until now.
So I leaned against the shower wall, tiles hard against my wet cheek, and let my knees carry me down to the shower floor. The steam was so thick I could barely see my hand in front of my face, but it didn't matter.
I was crying too hard to see anyway.
When I came out of the shower, the bedroom was empty, thank God. No unexpected visits from bitter-eyed blondes or sad little girls or lonely old ladies. The mirror on the wall was still broken, a souvenir of Barbie's ghostly rage. My overnight bag was in the chair.
So I did what I always did when I needed a mental boost.
Look like a million bucks, feel like a million bucks.
Luckily, I'd packed my second favorite pair of jeans and a bright pink, floaty chiffon top that went perfectly with my pink highlights. I wore a black bra, liking the way it could be seen through the pink.
Joe might prefer substance to fun, but that didn't mean I was gonna quit being myself. Let him eat his heart out.
I'd brought some strappy black sandals with low heels, perfect for jeans. I took extra time with my makeup and used a little gel to get my hair just right.
When I was finished, I stared at myself in the mirror, satisfied with the results. Any sign of earlier tears could be taken as the result of a long night. I checked my watch, tempted to call Evan, but it was still early, and it was Sunday. Evan and Butch loved to sleep in on Sundays.
Besides, Mr. Fairy Godfather might talk me out of my plan keep a healthy distance away from Joe. At the very least, I'd end up crying and ruining my makeup.
So I squared my shoulders and went downstairs, loins girded and bra securely fastened.
"Hey." Joe was sitting on the couch, waiting for me.
My heart gave a solid thump, then settled into a fast gallop. So much for my hopes of distance.
He looked like he'd had a worse night than I had, if that were possible. His dark hair was mussed, dark circles beneath his eyes, heavy shading of whiskers on his chin. Tired and sad and vulnerable, and utterly, impossibly gorgeous. Man gorgeous.
No fair.
"I thought you were gone," I said stiffly.
"You sure are quick to think it," he answered calmly. His eyes held mine, and I knew there was a double meaning behind his words. "Is that what you want?"
I swallowed, hard. "No." I couldn't do it. "But that's the way it has to be." I had to do it.
Joe didn't move. "Is there someone else?"
I was proud of how steady my voice was. "No. I already told you, that wasn't me you saw kissing Spider."
His eyes searched mine. He still didn't move from the couch.
"Kelly seems to think we need to talk. She thinks we're being tricked by an evil spirit who wants to drive a wedge between us. Is that true?"
I was shocked to hear the truth stated so calmly. After all the drama of the night just past, I'd given up on the voice of reason. And I sure hadn't expected it to come from Kelly.
I didn't know what to say. If I told him the truth, I'd be back to square one emotionally, and Sammy would point his priapic pitchfork at my sister.
"Because if it's true, I'm really disappointed you didn't shake some sense into me and make me listen. After what we've been through together, I should be able to believe anything."
Joe rose from the couch, took a step toward me. "If you say you didn't kiss Spider, then you didn't kiss Spider." He shook his head. "It's just, when I walked into that kitchen…" His gaze hardened and he looked away. "It was like getting kicked in the gut. I was so jealous, so angry." He took a deep breath, eyes returning to mine. "I'm disappointed in myself for how I reacted." Another step. "But I'm really disappointed you would think that I'd ever prefer Kelly to you, or that I'd start seeing her again behind your back."
Tears threatened, but I blinked them away.
"I want be with you, Nicki. Only you. I was stupid not to believe you last night. But if it's really over, if you don't love me anymore, tell me now, and I'll leave you alone."
My throat was too tight for normal speech. "I never said I loved you," I whispered.
Joe was right in front of me now, just a few inches away. I fought the impulse to sway into his arms, or the impulse to run away, I wasn't sure which. He looked deep into my eyes and gave a slow smile.
"You didn't have to," he said. His smile deepened. "You've been a goner since the day we met, just like I have."
His hands touched my elbows, gripped them and held on.
"I can't choose you," I blurted, afraid. "If I choose you, Sammy will go after Kelly and corrupt her. He'll turn her into a servant for his army." Or something like that… it was hard to think with Joe so close.
His smile faded, but he didn't let me go, even when I made a token effort to pull away.
"Kelly's a big girl," he said. "She's tougher than you think." He drew me closer, ignoring the tears that spilled from my eyes. His body was big and warm and male, and the thought of holding him again was oh so tempting.
"And you don't have to choose me." He lowered his head, lips a mere inch from mine. "I choose you."
And then he kissed me, and Kelly was on her own. There was nothing except this man and this moment and this kiss; the feel of his arms around me, the graze of stubble on his chin, the smell of warm cherry chocolate melting into the sweetly scented puddle of love that was me.
When I could breathe again, face buried against Joe's neck, I made myself give him one last chance. "Are you sure?" I murmured, all teary-eyed and weak-kneed. "Are you sure you want to be with a girl who sees dead people and has a bad temper and lives a crazy life?"
Joe's laugh made both of us shake—he was holding me so tight I wasn't sure where one of us stopped and the other began.
"Do you think I'd sit on a sofa all night in a spooky old house if I didn't?"
"You did?"
"All night," he said. "I was afraid to knock on your door for fear you'd hand me my nuts on a platter, but I wanted to be close by if you needed me. I want to be with you, Nicki."
I pulled back, making him look me in the eye. "What about those things you said about me to Kelly?"
He sighed. "You mean when I said you were hot, wild, and high maintenance? Which part of that was untrue?"
"Well…" When he put it that way …
"Yeah, you see dead people and you live a crazy life," he admitted. "But underneath all that hot wild craziness, you're a really good person."
He was smiling, his eyes crinkling in the way I found totally irresistible.
"A good person?" I pretended to be insulted, but I was touched, both by the personal assessment and the fact that he'd been watching over me on the couch all night.
"And gorgeous. Did I mention gorgeous?" He couldn't seem to stop smiling. "Besides, I'm the one with the bad temper—I punched your friend Spider in the mouth, remember?"
"He's not my friend," I said, smiling a little despite myself. Joe actually seemed a teeny bit proud of himself for punching Spider out. "He's Kelly's friend."
"Kelly and I had a long talk last night," he said. I tensed, but he ignored it. "She's pretty smart, your sister. You should listen to her sometimes."
I opened my mouth to argue, but Joe shook his head. "She pointed out that the way we were both acting was completely out of character—I'm not usually such a jealous ass, and you're not usually such a heartless bi—" He stopped himself, smiling a little. "You're not usually so heartless when other people's feelings are concerned. Particularly people you care about."
I could hear the tick of the hallway clock, so much slower than the beat of my racing heart.
"I'll fight the Devil himself for you if I have to, Nicki. As far as I'm concerned, he can go play mind games with somebody else
."
He kissed me again, possessively this time, and I didn't mind one bit.
And when it was over, I rested my forehead against his and murmured, "I guess we've just had our first fight, hm?"
"I guess so," he answered, "but I don't mind as long as there's makeup sex involved."
I mock slapped at him, but he batted me away easily.
"I love you, Nicki Styx."
The words took my breath away, but I found enough to answer him. "I love you, too."
I didn't think his smile could get any bigger, but it did. And then he kissed me again, and nothing else mattered.
Until the kiss was over and he said, "Now go talk to your sister. She's in the kitchen."
"You're kinda bossy, you know."
"I know." Joe gave me a final squeeze, then spun me around and pointed me toward the kitchen, patting my bottom for good measure. "And don't forget about the makeup sex."
I gave him an arch look over my shoulder, incredibly relieved that things were back to normal. "You're gonna pay for your bossiness, mister."
He grinned at me, unashamed. "I hope so."
* * *
CHAPTER 21
I stopped in the kitchen doorway, nervous about what to say to Kelly. Last night she'd told me she still loved Joe—how was she going to feel about us being back together?
She looked up from her pile of books. Her brown hair was pulled into an untidy knot, and there were tired bags beneath her eyes.
"You look nice," she said warily. "I was beginning to think you weren't coming down. Feeling better?"
"Much." I gave her a smile. "Can we talk?"
"Sure." She closed the book she'd been reading.
Still nervous, I turned toward the coffeepot. "Coffee smells good."
By the time I'd poured myself a cup and tasted it, Kelly had cleared a spot on the table by stacking some books and was waiting for me to sit.
As I slid into the chair across from her, I said, "Look, I'm really sorry about the things that were said in the basement last night—you know it wasn't me who said them, don't you?"