“You’re the best, you know that?”
“No, but what I do know is you aren’t alone in this. You did something monumentally stupid, brother. I won’t pretend you didn’t. I don’t care if those idiots at the label told you to. You’re better than lies. I always knew you’d make it, but I never thought you’d resort to all of this.”
Becks rubbed his eyes. “It got so out of control.”
“So take back control. The label isn’t going to fix this. They’re more likely to distance themselves than help you. You need to take care of this yourself.”
“How? I don’t even know where to start.”
She was silent for a long moment before her low voice came through the phone again. “Who are you?”
“What?”
“You heard my question.”
“Uhh…I’m your brother.”
“And what’s my brother’s name?”
“Beckett Anderson.”
Her voice grew louder. “Who are you?”
“I’m Beckett Anderson.”
“Who are you?!”
“Beckett freaking Anderson!”
“Hell yes, you are. Now go be Beckett Anderson. You got this, bro.”
He smiled. “You should be a football coach, Wylds.”
“Whatever.”
He could practically hear the smile in her voice before she hung up without a goodbye. He lifted his eyes to find his cousin staring at him from the doorway with Sofie by her side, refusing to look at him.
“What are we yelling about?” Sky asked.
“I’m going to make this right.” He scrolled through his contacts until he found the only other number that had been calling him.
Asher picked up after the first ring. “You okay?”
He loved that the first thing out of his friend’s mouth was worry and not scorn. “I think I will be, but I need a favor.”
After explaining what he wanted from Asher, Becks hung up and walked into the kitchen where Sofie was talking to Skylar.
Sky glanced between the two. “I’ll just, uh, give you two a moment.”
Sofie watched her leave as if she wished she too could go. Instead, she fixed her eyes on the counter, waiting for Becks to speak.
He stepped toward her, but she put up a hand to stop him. “When you chose not to be with me, I thought it was because you loved Nicky. So, I stayed on. I just wanted you to be happy and if that wasn’t with me, so be it. But now—”
“Sof—”
“Now I learn you chose a lie over me.”
“It wasn’t my doing.”
“You’re the one who told the lie, Becks. You made everyone root for this false love story. Not dumbass Kyle at the label, not anyone else. You. Stop blaming other people for your actions.”
“You’re right.”
She opened her mouth, looking as if she was prepared to argue further, but shut it when she realized he’d agreed with her.
“I never wanted to hurt you.”
“You think you hurt me?” She shook her head. “I’m just trying to figure out if I ever really knew you at all. I used to think you were one of the good ones. I’ve seen a lot of people come through Nashville with stars in their eyes and coal in their hearts. But I wanted success for you. Was I just naïve? Are you no better than most of the jerks who think the world owes them?”
“I don’t want to be one of them.”
She dropped her voice. “Then don’t.”
“I need your help, Sof. Like always, I can’t do anything without my talented assistant and friend. I’m going to apologize for everything tomorrow morning as long as Asher pulls through for me.” He kicked his toe against the ground before lifting his eyes to hers. “And I have no idea what to wear.”
She covered her mouth to stifle a laugh. “You never do.”
“Please. If you don’t forgive me after tomorrow, then you don’t have to see me again. I’ll probably end up back in Twin Rivers playing for pennies in front of my dad’s hardware store.”
“Beckett.” She sighed. “Don’t be dramatic. I don’t forgive you. Not yet. But whatever you have planned, I won’t have you looking like a vagabond.” She scanned his ripped jeans and black T-shirt in distaste.
“Thanks, Sof.” He tried to slide an arm around her shoulders like he used to, but she turned away from him.
“Don’t act like we’re friends, Beckett. I’m just doing my job.”
Becks didn’t sleep that night. Not when his entire career and so many of his friendships relied on what he did in the morning. In five days, he was supposed to leave for the tour of a lifetime, but the silence coming from the label told him how they felt about that.
Maybe that was why Nari, Quinn, and Harrison hadn’t spoken to him the day before. He wasn’t only screwing things up for himself, but for them as well.
And as much as he said he’d try, he didn’t know if he could truly fix it.
In the morning, he dressed in the clothes Sofie had told him to wear and combed his hair. Skylar waited for him in the kitchen, but he couldn’t eat when his stomach was tied in knots.
She had the local news on the TV in the living room showing reporters camped outside his place. He imagined them similarly waiting for Nicky outside Becks’ old building.
Unplugging his phone from the charger, he fired off a text to Nicky.
Becks: Turn on the local news in two hours.
Nicky: You’re alive.
Becks: Could say the same about you.
Nicky: Avery stole my phone yesterday so I wouldn’t text you. I was surprised not to have any missed calls from you. Yesterday was…
Becks: Yeah, it was. Look, I’m sorry for everything.
Nicky: I know.
If there was one person who wouldn’t hate him after all this, it was Nicky. Knowing that only made it harder. Sometimes, he wondered if he wanted Nicky to hate him. Maybe that would’ve been better than this friendship dance they did. One where they pretended Becks never said he had feelings for Nicky and where Nicky never said he didn’t have feelings back.
Becks pulled a ball cap onto his head and nodded to Sky. She grabbed her keys off the counter before leading him into her garage. As they pulled away from the house, photographers tried to get any picture they could as if they owned him.
The next two hours where a whirlwind of makeup and preparation. Sofie appeared, much to Becks’ surprise, to run through questions with him.
As a voice over the loudspeaker called Becks to the side of the stage, he sent Asher a text.
Becks: Thank you.
Asher made calls the night before, and when the president’s son called, people listened. He managed to get Becks a spot on Nashville’s top morning show, claiming it hadn’t been difficult because the fake gay country star was ratings gold.
Becks planned ahead of time what he needed to say, how he could make this right, but as he stepped onto the stage, every word flew from his mind.
Boos came from the crowd, but Becks tried to block them out as he crossed toward Charlotte Keaning sitting on one of two velvet-upholstered chairs, a small table between them.
She stood as he approached, her wide smile for the audience more than for him. She brushed long blond curls over one shoulder and fixed intelligent green eyes on him.
“Beckett Anderson.” Her voice held a country twang as she held out a hand.
He took it. “Thank you for having me.”
The crowd quieted down as she gestured for him to sit. “Welcome, welcome. Despite the reception from my audience, we’re excited to have you here this morning.” She laughed as if it was all some joke.
Becks gave her a nervous smile as he fiddled with a fold in his tight black jeans. Sofie picked them out along with a soft blue plaid button-down. She claimed the color was non-threatening and that he could benefit from it in an interview.
Now, he wasn’t sure anything could help him.
Charlotte rested in her chair and crossed her legs, studying
him before turning to her audience. “Beckett Anderson was one of the fastest rising country stars until it all ground to a halt yesterday.” Her eyes drifted back to Becks. “I don’t like to bandy about, Beckett.” She was known for her brutal honesty. “Did you lie to your fans when you told them you were gay?”
His words clogged in his throat. He’d never told anyone he was gay, only that he was dating Nicky. Did he owe them an explanation? “I lied when I claimed to be dating Nicky St. Germaine.” The crowd booed.
Charlotte pursed her lips, but Becks wasn’t done. He thought of everything Sofie told him he needed to say about how sorry he was and how it was all a misunderstanding that spiraled out of his control. But none of that seemed right. “Can I ask you a question, Charlotte?”
She laughed. “I’m usually the one asking questions, but sure.”
“When you were a kid, what was your dream?”
She was quiet for a moment. “I can’t really remember.”
“Well, I wanted to sing. I wanted to spend my life making music. There was no other life that ever occurred to me. I grew up in a small town where being different wasn’t exactly celebrated, so I chose to be special instead. I put everything I had into music until I didn’t recognize myself without it.”
“That sounds hard.”
“But it wasn’t. Not for me. It all came so easily. And the first time I hit a roadblock, I wasn’t quite sure how to get through it.”
She nodded. “This roadblock was the kiss we’ve all seen by now? The one from the Cincinnati music festival?”
Becks scratched his jaw. “That’s what started this whole mess. After that, I didn’t know how to go back.” It was on the tip of his tongue to mention his label forcing him into this, but Sofie had been right. It was his decision, and he needed to take responsibility.
“Do you regret it?”
Becks scanned the audience, not seeing their faces with the light shining in his eyes. Did he regret it? “I wish I hadn’t lied. I hurt a lot of people. But if you’re asking me if I regret stopping my concert to help a friend, then the answer is no.”
“Most of us help friends by giving them advice or support, not kissing them.” She lifted a brow.
Becks chuckled. “You try seeing the man you love in trouble and not do anything about it.” His face flushed as he replayed the words in his mind.
The man you love? The man you love? Shit. He’d just told the entire world the one thing he’d tried so hard to push away.
Charlotte grinned as she leaned forward in her chair, sensing blood in the water. “But the relationship was fake. Beckett, are you telling us that part of it wasn’t a lie? Are you saying you’re gay?”
“My feelings for Nicky were never fake, but as to the rest of it…” He sucked in a breath.
“Go on.”
Are you saying you’re gay? No, he wasn’t, but that wasn’t what came out of his mouth.
He straightened his back, snapping his eyes to Charlotte’s. All fear left him as he realized she was just another reporter trying to dig into his private life.
“Whether or not I’m gay shouldn’t be a question. It’s not information I owe you, Charlotte, or my fans. I love the people who support me. They’re the only reason I get to make music. But that doesn’t mean they own me or my sexuality. I’m only beginning to understand who I am, and I’ve started to realize that’s okay. It’s a journey that belongs to me and me alone.”
“And to Nicky if you’re with him.”
“No. Nicky knows who he is. He has for a very long time. Some days, the only thing I know is that I love him.” Crap, he’d said it again.
“So, you’re saying you are gay?”
“Do you think gay men are the only ones who can fall in love with other men? I’m not going to sit here on TV and explain to you the vast spectrum of sexuality.” He breathed through his anger. “I wish this world would stop defining people based on each person’s narrow understanding of love.”
She smiled at that, her expression softening. “You’re right, you don’t owe me answers to sate my curiosity. But yesterday, your relationship with Nicky St. Germaine was revealed as fake, and today, you sit here telling me it was real.”
“I never said the relationship was real.” His anger dropped away, and he sat back in the chair. “My feelings mean nothing if they’re not returned.”
The crowd’s boos turned to subdued awes. Great, they went from hating him to feeling sorry for him.
Even Charlotte’s eyes held a new pity. “You went to great lengths to be here with me today. Why?”
He lifted his eyes to the crowd. “Because I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. This thing snowballed out of control so fast, and I hurt a lot of people. I hurt Nicky. My fans. I just…I wanted people to know I never set out to hurt anyone.”
“I think they know that now. Beckett Anderson, thank you for coming onto our show this morning. Now, if I was told correctly, we have a song to play.”
Becks told Asher to promise the show they’d get to reveal his new single. The label wouldn’t be pleased Becks did it without permission, but he wasn’t sure he cared.
Overhead, a song began. It was the best thing Becks had ever written. A long time ago, before he’d even known his sister found their mom, the words came to him speaking of a painful one-sided love. Even though it was about his mom, the words made him think of Nicky as well.
The final words drifted away and Charlotte wiped her eyes. “That was beautiful.” She spoke to the audience. “‘Love Me’ by Beckett Anderson will be available soon on iTunes. As for Beckett Anderson—he’ll be performing today at one o’clock at City Park, and admission is free for everyone.”
As the show went to a commercial break, Becks made his way to where Sky and Sofie waited for him. Sky wrapped him in a hug, and it surprised him when Sofie joined their embrace as well.
When he pulled away, Sofie pinched him. “I get it now. I suppose you’re forgiven, but you didn’t tell me you were playing a concert today.”
“It was kind of spur of the moment. There’s that makeshift stage at the northern side of the park. No one will come anyway, so it’ll be me and the pigeons.”
“Have you even told your band?”
Becks shrugged. “If they don’t come, I’ll play on my own. Sof, you don’t get it. I just poured every part of me out onto that stage during the interview. I need to play. I need the music to give it all back to me.”
Sofie nodded in understanding. “Fine. I have to make some calls. I’ll see you there.”
As she walked away, Sky led Becks outside to the waiting reporters and fans. He braced for their jeers, but they never came. Instead, they cheered for him as if he was the same country star they’d followed since day one.
No one was going to come. Becks was sure of it. He’d get to the park, step onto the old dilapidated stone stage, and stand in front of an open field to play for the birds. Everything was over, gone. There was no coming back from lying to his fans. Free concert or not, they wouldn’t show up to support someone they no longer believed in.
Sky’s phone buzzed, and she answered it on the car speaker. April’s voice filled the car. “Tell me you two aren’t on your way to this insane free concert.”
“Sorry, April. Sofie checked Beckett’s contract, and there’s nothing in there saying he can’t play music in the park as long as he isn’t charging.”
“What about releasing the single?” She didn’t sound angry, only tired. “There’s a section that says we schedule all music releases.”
“April.” Sky shot Becks a wink. “Sofie and I work for you, for the label, but we care about Becks. Do you really think we haven’t combed through every clause? Becks isn’t allowed to upload the music online and sell it without the label, but he can give permission for it to be used in a single broadcast as long as no money exchanged hands.”
To Becks’ surprise, April laughed. “I should know by now not to underestimate you, Skylar.”
“It was a good idea for you to have him do the morning show. I don’t know how you did that so last minute.”
“It wasn’t me. Becks isn’t some idiot you picked up on the side of the road.”
“What she’s trying to say”—Becks leaned forward—“is that I’m going to be making my own decisions about my image from now on. Now, April, I will speak to you later about what’s next, but right now, I have a concert to get to.” He hung up without giving her a chance to respond.
Skyler laughed as she pulled into the South lot at the city park. “Where is the guy who tries to please everyone?”
Becks shrugged. “I can’t please everyone, cuz.” One side of his mouth curled up. “But thanks for taking care of me with the label. If I tried to read my contract and all the legal bunk, I think my brain would break.”
“You’re not as dumb as you claim. Stop trying to act like some pretty boy airhead, and people might stop treating you like it.”
He laughed. “I need you to do all my talking for me.” His eyes lit up as an idea popped into his mind. “You should be my manager.”
“What?”
“Quit working for the label. You hate it there anyway. Be my manager. If I still have a career after this, I’ll need someone as an extra layer between me and those jerks so I don’t just do whatever they tell me to next time.”
“Beckett…” She shook her head. “Why don’t you use your brain to keep yourself from doing stupid stuff?”
“Please.”
“We’ll talk about it.” She opened her car door. “Come on. If I remember correctly, you have some birds to play for.”
They crossed the expansive lot, stepping onto the path that wound around various ponds. Shielding his eyes against the sun, Becks lifted his face to the cloudless blue sky. As he walked, he stripped off the short-sleeved, buttoned plaid shirt, leaving him in a simple white T-shirt that was much more comfortable in the August heat.
Dating Him: The Series Page 20