A Scandalous Love for the Enticing Duke: A Historical Regency Romance Book

by Henrietta Harding

  Truer words had never been spoken, and Nicholas was aware of this. Benjamin’s words gave him a lot to think about, and if indeed, things turned out that way, there was no doubt about the fact that he would rather not risk it all. Truly, there was so much at stake. Mayhap, Benjamin was right, and love was indeed fickle. Mayhap, if he gave himself a chance with Agnes, he would come to care for her, even greater than he cared for Eleanor. This could be fleeting, and he was convinced there would be no sense in losing all that Benjamin had stated, for something that may not hold true in the nearest future. So, even as his heart ached, and he knew he would remain in hell for a while longer, even as he wished still, with all his heart that he could turn back the hands of time and choose Eleanor, he heard himself say, “I suppose you are right, dear friend. I must confess, I never considered all of this. I am certainly glad I came to seek your counsel.”

  Benjamin gave a curt nod in acknowledgement and raised his glass in a toast. Nicholas did the same, and in one gulp, welcomed the sweet bitterness of whisky. Perhaps, it was not too early to get drunk, after all.

  Chapter 30

  Eleanor listened for her sister’s voice as she stayed still, outside the doors of her chamber. Agnes who had been ill for about three days was finally recovering, and the physician had declared that she could now receive visitors. As the news came, she had promptly gotten on her feet and found her way to the kitchen to brew tea and make cookies for her. They were Agnes’s favourite, and Eleanor reckoned she would appreciate them.

  Her response came, but it was feeble and weak, and it caused a knot to form in Eleanor’s chest. Disregarding it, she gestured at the door so that Rachel may open it for her, as her hands were occupied with the tray which contained the tea kettle, cups, and a bowl of cookies. As the door came open, she stepped into her sister’s chamber. The first thing she noticed was that it looked strange, like it had not seen the light of day in so long. The curtains were down, casting a gloom shadow upon the large space. She could hardly make out her sister’s frame on her bed. Knowing what must be done first, she dropped the tray on a small wooden table and walked over to the windows.

  “You would not mind the lighting, would you? I reckon it would do a lot of good to have some light in here, seeing as you are feeling better now.” She paused as she waited again, for permission.

  “You may. I was just thinking of it, myself. Some fresh air would be nice too.”

  She sounded weak, still, but her affirmation gladdened Eleanor so. A smile crept upon her face as she raised the curtains and opened the windows. It had the desired effect on the room, as it was immediately covered in brightness, causing it to look better than it had when she had come in. When she turned around, she easily sighted her sister, seated on her bed, her head tilted upwards, breathing in the fresh air that had swept into the chamber as the windows came open. Eleanor paused, watching her sister, and mixed emotions tugged at her heart. Love, guilt, remorse. How could she have thought to betray her sister so? She was only glad that she had ended that foolishness. Though, her heart was taking a while to catch up with her mind, but that was okay; in time, the world would right on its axis. Agnes finally dropped her head and opened her eyes. As she did, she turned to catch Eleanor watching her, and she smiled.

  “I smell fresh air, but I also smell cookies. We have made those together, so many times that I know what kind of cookies they are, and who made them. Come here, little sister.”

  Giggling because she could not help herself, Eleanor broke into a run and had to take great care not to jump into her sister’s open arms. She slowed down as she reached the four poster bed and sat before going into her sister’s warm embrace. The hug lasted for what seemed like an eternity, and it made Eleanor feel all warm inside. She was aware that something beyond this illness troubled her sister, and she had feared her sister knew of her and Nicholas, but now, she was rest assured that she knew nothing. What then, was the matter?

  The question stayed in her mind until they broke apart and she took the time to appraise her sister.

  “Well, you have certainly had better days,” she teased, causing Agnes to chuckle.

  “That, little sister, I cannot dispute. I have also felt better and looked better, but I believe I will be as good as new, in no time. Looks like you finally succeeded in passing that flu to me.”

  “Well, I did insist that you stayed away, but you kept coming, every day. Thankfully, everyone was sensible enough to listen this time around. I reckon no one wants to be confined to their chamber for at least three days.”

  Agnes chuckled again, a smile remaining on her face as it ended. “Yes. I agree. It did feel so awful; I thought the days would never end. Mother sent soup up to me every day. I suppose that helped along with the medicine, to quicken my recovery.”

  Eleanor nodded. Martha’s soup had magical powers to heal; no one would ever convince her otherwise. “How do you fare now?”

  “Much better, I must confess. Although, I still experience a wave of vertigo when I try to rise, but that too shall pass, as the fever and the sore throat did.”

  “Yes. It will. I am glad to hear that you feel better, and I am also elated that I am finally allowed to see you. I cannot imagine how lonely it must have been for you.”

  “Well, I had the books you sent for company. I enjoyed reading them when I was not too tired to keep my eyes open. It was being isolated as though I were a plague that tampered with my sanity.”

  Her eyes twinkled, indicating that she only jested, and so they had a good laugh over that. After, Eleanor presented the good tidings she had brought along with her, and it was received with as much glee as she had anticipated. Silence reigned as Agnes munched on the chocolate cookies, accompanied by her tea. Eleanor’s heart filled to the brim as she watched her sister eat to her stomach’s content, with so much gusto. As she finished, Eleanor took the tray away from her thighs and set it aside. She rung the bell and leaned back. In no time, one of the maids came and took the tray along with her. As soon as she left, Eleanor approached the subject that had brought her here.

  “Remember when we were on the ride to the McCaulays’ ball and you were concerned about my well-being, so you asked if all was well?”

  Agnes took no time to think; her response was swift. “Of course, I was worried that you had not been yourself lately. I wanted to know what ailed my pumpkin.”

  A smile flickered across Eleanor’s face at that. “You know only Father is allowed to call me pumpkin, Agnes.”

  “And so we keep going round and round in unending circles. I shall call you what I wish to, little pumpkin, and I know that you secretly adore it.”

  There was no point denying this; Eleanor knew this so she simply stuck her tongue out at her and continued with the discussion.“Well, that was simply by the way. I am worried about you, Agnes. You have not quite been yourself, of late, and I do not speak only of this illness. It is only to be expected that I would care. Is all well? If anything, I know that you have not shown the least bit enthusiasm for a Lady who is to be married in no time. The dress fittings, all of it, you smile, but it is not one that reaches your eyes. Is all amiss? I may be younger, but you must know that you can confide in me.”

  Agnes smiled at this, but it wasn’t like the ones she had been giving since Eleanor stepped in. This was smaller, sad, and it did not reach her beautiful brown eyes. “Did Father put you up to this?”

  What did their father have to do with this? “Father? No. Why?”

  “Nothing. Just that he was here this morning and had expressed the same concern. I told him he was wrong, and all was well. Nothing but cold feet.”

  “Is it really?”

  She said nothing for a long while, and Eleanor waited patiently, willing the trepidation in her heart to fade away. Then with an anguished cry, she poured out her heart’s content.

  “Oh, Eleanor! What ears would hear this? I do not want to marry Nicholas. Since I was only a girl of fifteen summers, my heart has
belonged to none other than Alan Sheldon. When I was twenty, I finally garnered the courage to tell him, and he confessed that he felt the same. That was the beginning of our love affair. I had hoped that someday we would be free to marry for love, but that never happened. Especially after learning of the fraud he has been in all this. You can imagine how devastated I was to learn that he never truly loved me. Now, here I am, still hopelessly in love with him, while I am to be married to a good man, but a stranger nonetheless, in no time. My heart aches, Eleanor. I know that you can never hope to understand, but I feel like I have been stomped on by horses, a thousand times. It hurts so much, so much.”

  Agnes broke apart then, and Eleanor’s arms were wide open for her to fall into as she lunged herself. Her arms quickly went around her sister and held her tightly as she cried. She too was in shock for never in her wildest imagination had she thought that a thing like this would happen. Agnes, in love with the merchant? The same one whom she had grown up to know as a part of their family but who had recently lost his place in their lives? Agnes was in love with someone else?

  At first, relief washed over her as the implications of her sister’s words dawned. If her sister cared nothing for Nicholas, and in fact, had no desire to get married to him, then maybe she could finally be ridded of the guilt that ate at her daily. Of course, that was in no way a justification for her deeds, but at least, she did not have to feel so bad, as her sister was not innocent, either. However, this was not about her. This was about Agnes who was strongly hurting. Eleanor knew this because she understood, had gone through the same pain. She felt it as the sobs racked through Agnes, causing her to tremble with her pain. It caused her a pain of her own, seeing her sister so crushed, so distraught. If love was meant to be beautiful, then why did it hurt so much? While she could not believe that Alan did what he had been accused of, the die had been cast, and they had to move on.

  She did not know when she started rocking and whispering sweet nothings in Agnes’s ears and she stroked her hair in comfort. They remained like that, and soon, Agnes’s tears ceased, and she calmed, visibly.

  “I had no idea,” she said as Agnes broke away and sat upright. She began to search for something, and Eleanor provided her kerchief. It was accepted graciously, and she paused for Agnes to wipe her face and blow her nose.

  “I am so sorry. You should not be doing this to yourself. You are recovering yet.”

  Agnes sniffed and managed a small smile. “I have lost count of the number of times I have cried since the news of his betrayal reached me. Albeit, it did feel better to cry in your arms.”

  Eleanor mirrored her smile, happy that she had been of help. She wanted to see her happy, and she could not dare hope that Agnes would cancel the wedding. No, for in fact, now was the time to go ahead with it. Nicholas was a good man, and if they gave one another the chance, they would be sure to make each other happy. As if Agnes had read her thoughts, she spoke.

  “You must know that after giving things a lot of thought, I have decided to cancel the wedding to Nicholas. At first, I was grateful that I had him to fall back upon, but I now know that would not be entirely fair to him. I would need time to heal, to nurse my injuries, to recover from this pain. Until then, I could never give another man my all. If Nicholas is to be my husband, he deserves that.”

  Warning bells sounded in Eleanor’s heart. No, her sister could not do that. If she did, then Nicholas would consider himself free to come for her hand. It would be too outrageous! No one would understand, and her truth would be forced out into the open. Frantic, she grabbed her sister’s hands.

  “No Agnes! You mustn’t do that. I understand you, in truth. Nevertheless, you cannot cancel the wedding. Of course, if you feel as though you would need the time to heal, then you may request for a postponement, but you cannot let a man like Nicholas go. He may turn out to be just what you need to fully convalesce.”

  Why was she really doing this, she wondered? She should be happy, jumping for joy, and giving Agnes a pat on the back for making such a wonderful decision. Who cared what society would say? Her happiness mattered. Yet … another voice whispered in her head. What would that happiness be worth when her sister remained lonely, hurting, and despondent? It would be evil to carry on with her life like Agnes mattered little. She wasn’t evil, so she continued.

  “Nicholas, he is a great man. You only need to get to know him. He has this amazing sense of humour that would get you laughing till your ribs hurt. Not to mention, he is so knowledgeable, scholar that he is. He has seen the world through his eye lens and that of his books, and he retells these tales of what he has seen with such vivid imagery that makes you feel as though you were seeing those things through his eyes. He is a gentleman through and through, who adores his parents. He would care for you like he cares for them. I know how drawn you are to wit. Nicholas has no lack for that. Oh, and when he smiles …” she sighed, forgetting herself as she was lost in her daydreams. In her mind’s eyes, she saw him as clearly as she always did. Thunderclouds twinkling as he drew closer to her, teasing her with his words, distracting her with his lips. Which woman in her right senses would not love that man?

  “He is simply wonderful, Agnes. Why would you want to let him go when he can make you so happy?”

  Her sister was staring at her in awe as she opened her eyes, and she immediately realised that she had given too much. This was confirmed when Agnes spoke.

  “Mayhap, the fact that he already makes you happy, would serve as a good enough reason? Goodness! How come I never saw it? You love him!”

  Eleanor’s heart broke into a stampede as panic filled her. “Not at all, Agnes. How could I love a man that is promised to you? I was simply attempting to convince you to never let such a good man go.”

  “Yet, your eyes twinkled before they closed. Beyond that, I recall quite well that you two have never shared such moments, not to my knowledge. Yet, you speak of him as one who knows him so well. Who has enjoyed his endearing presence on several occasions. Tell me, Eleanor. It is true, isn’t it? You are in love with the future Duke of Yorkshire. It is for this reason that you have been so sad lately.”

  This was it, Eleanor knew. She could try to deny it, but the truth would always prevail. Her heart dropped, and her stomach sunk. How would she tell the tale of such betrayal? Now, she was the one who trembled.

  “Oh come off it, little pumpkin. You should know that you can tell me this. I of all people would understand, believe me. I would hold nothing against you. Nothing at all. I know how stubborn the heart can be, and I am aware that it has a mind of its own. I cannot blame you for something you had no control over, can I? And even if you did, that would be rather hypocritical of me, seeing as I am guilty too.”

  She must have done something good, Eleanor reckoned, to have deserved a wonderful sister such as this. Assured by Agnes’s words, her own climbed up her throat and only waited to be spilled. She did just that.

  “I am so sorry, Agnes. But it could not be helped. I loved him before I even realised who he was.” Then she proceeded to tell Agnes everything – at least, the tales she could bear to tell.

  As she finished, Agnes who had been so surprisingly understanding through it all, pulled her into her arms and soothed. “Well, there is no way around it now, is there? One miserable soul is more than enough in this household. We mustn’t have one more. You just leave it to me. I will see that you and Nicholas get the happiness you deserve. One of us has got to.”

  Eleanor could not believe her ears. The hope she had crushed suddenly lit up and began to burn brightly again. She hugged Agnes tightly for this gift – selfless, pure, and true.

  “I declare that you are the best sister anyone in this world could ever hope to have. I shall never hope to repay you for this gift.”

  “Good, because you do not owe me, Eleanor.”

  Suddenly, her chamber door came open, and Isabelle skipped in, clapping her hands in glee.

  Eleanor and Agnes bro
ke apart to regard her, but she said nothing. She simply closed the doors firmly behind her and skipped the rest of the way into the room. As she reached them, she plumped down on the bed and hugged them both.