Ash leaned over the top of the counter and ruffled her hair. “I know you’re going to want to taste it.” His eyes held hers, willing her to agree. Sixteen-year-old Marly had been at the center from the beginning, coming to them half-starved and sexually abused. Without saying a word, Ash had taken it upon himself to make sure he did everything legally possible to put her father behind bars for a long time. The case was still winding its way through the system. Thank God they had gotten her out of her abusive household and in with a wonderful foster care family.
Still somewhat mistrustful of strangers, she’d taken to him—kindred lost souls recognized each other. No one in the clinic could understand the unusual friendship between him and the frightened, bedraggled teenager, but it wasn’t any of their goddamn business. He had his reasons, and one of them was the way her lips now curved in a smile and her pale eyes shone with laughter, not fear, as she peered inside the bag to see her double-fudge cupcake.
Fear was another companion he’d grown up with and lived with each night of his life until he’d turned eighteen and escaped his foster home for good. He’d made sure he got away and could only hope his foster brothers Luke and Brandon—the boys he’d left behind who were too young and scared to leave with him—had made it out as well. He’d never stopped trying to find them, but the private investigator he had on their trail for years kept running up against dead ends.
“Oooh, Mr. Davis, you shouldn’t have.” But her finger sank into the two-inch topping of fudge and came away with a big glob to stick in her mouth. Her eyes rolled back in her head with undisguised ecstasy. “Yumm. It’s so good. Thank you.”
“Make sure you finish it, and don’t let anyone sneak a bite.” He jerked his head at Javier, the other teenager manning the reception desk. The teenage boy snorted, shaking his head.
“Man, I’m not gonna steal her food. Especially when her nasty finger’s already touched it.”
Outraged, Marly took a huge bite, leaving a glob of frosting on her nose. “My hands are clean, buddy boy. As opposed to yours, which were probably down some guy’s pants this morning.”
Javier’s face flamed. “Not true. Marquez and I broke up.”
Instantly, Marly turned from teaser to comforter, and Ash enjoyed seeing how the two formerly wary, friendless teens had bonded as she consoled him. “Bastard. You’ll find someone better than him; don’t worry, baby.”
“Okay, kids, do I have anyone scheduled this morning?” Ash reached for the printed schedule in Marly’s hand.
“Um, yeah, but not until later. It’s the kid who came in last week, pretty bad off.”
Stevie North. Ash’s gut tightened. “Thanks.” With what he hoped was a casual tone, he asked, “Boss man here?”
Too busy cutting off a slice of her cupcake for Javier, Marly didn’t pay much attention to him. “Uh yeah, Dr. Drew came in about an hour ago and Dr. Rachel’s here too.”
Inwardly Ash groaned. While he thought Drew’s sister cute and funny, she loved to psychoanalyze the shit out of him, coming uncomfortably close to the truth too many times. More often than not, he avoided her and her good-natured, nosy questioning.
“Thanks. See you two later.”
Neither answered, their mouths full of cupcake.
As he walked down the hallway, he greeted the other volunteers who came every Saturday and Sunday to meet with the kids who stopped by. They had Rachel to thank for them. Ten of her fellow psychology classmates volunteered to sit with the people who came in for guidance or help and talk to them. Their problems didn’t always require counseling or intervention. More often than not it came down to a simple miscommunication with their parents or siblings or a teenager being a teenager. They talked for a while and went on their way with a better understanding of how to handle a parent or a brother or sister.
Those were the lucky ones which fortunately constituted most of their cases.
But then there were cases like Marly, or fifteen-year-old Stevie, that made what Drew had set up here so extraordinary.
Immersed in his thoughts and not watching where he was going, he ran straight into the man who’d taken up residence in his mind most of the time.
Ooof. Their bodies collided, and Ash’s head made painful contact with Drew’s, a hard edge slicing into his cheekbone as their bodies flattened against one another. For a moment he saw stars.
A warm trickle of blood ran down his cheek. “Ow.” He touched his cheek, and it came away bloodstained. “What the hell?” The words died on his lips as he saw Drew, a concerned look on his face, wearing glasses that made him look hot as shit. The pain in his head forgotten, he wanted nothing more than to flatten the man against the wall and kiss him senseless.
“When did you get the glasses, Doc?” The man looked like a sexy professor, except no professor he ever had in law school had a face or body like Drew’s. Desire prickled through him, hardening his cock even as the blood dripped down his face.
Drew stopped rubbing his head. “Shit, Ash. Come on to the examining room. I have to see if you need stitches.” He pointed to the door on his right. “This one is free.”
Ash entered and hopped up on the table, forcing himself to face Drew, who stood over him with a wet gauze pad, cleaning up the blood. “I’m sure it’s nothing.”
Drew’s lips twitched. “Last time I checked, you went to law school, not medical school, so shut up and let me look.” He took off those sexy professor glasses and came close to Ash’s face.
Warning bells dinged in his head. Shit. The reality of being this close to Drew was so much better than his X-rated dreams. His deft touch soothed Ash and a clean fresh scent emanated from his skin, as if he’d stepped out of the shower only a minute before. Unwittingly, Ash groaned out loud.
Responding to Ash’s pained outcry, Drew’s expression changed to one of concern. “Does it hurt very badly? I might need to put in a stitch or two near your eye. That’s where the cut is the deepest.” The tips of his fingers touched Ash’s cheek, and his eyes clouded with obvious distress. “Shit, I’m so sorry. I really didn’t see or hear you.”
Without thinking, Ash covered Drew’s hand. “Not your fault. I was the one not paying attention.”
Neither of them moved; then Ash watched as Drew’s gaze flickered over to their joined hands. A sweet blush colored Drew’s cheeks as he pulled his fingers away. “Uh, anyway, let me see if we can get away with a butterfly bandage on this and maybe you won’t need the stitches, ’kay?”
Shit. He didn’t mean for that to happen. Sure he lusted over the guy, but Drew was straight and never gave any indication he’d be interested in crossing the line. The drunken confession about jerking off while thinking about him was nothing. Everyone had weird dreams; his own happened to be full of Drew naked and in his bed, riding his dick.
“Sure. Have at it.” He closed his eyes and relaxed as Drew cleaned and dressed the cut.
“Not as bad as I initially thought. The skin’s so thin in that area it bleeds a lot, but it wasn’t too deep. Keep it covered, and in a few days I’ll check it to make sure it doesn’t get infected.”
Ash opened his eyes to Drew’s back as he cleaned up and rinsed his hands. It gave him a chance to appreciate the man from behind. “Thanks, Drew.”
“No problem. Always good to have a doctor in the house, right?” Drew winked over his shoulder at Ash, not realizing the torment he put Ash through. In the past, there would’ve been no question of him going after Drew and getting him into bed. The men never mattered to him. Ultimately they almost all gave in, but for Ash, the void remained—the aching, dark part of him that never went away no matter how many men he had.
Not so with Drew. Now, though he’d only known the man a few months, Ash respected Drew and wouldn’t think of jeopardizing their friendship, including inappropriately touching or kissing him.
Friendship. An alien term to him, until now. Until Drew with his honesty and kindness brought Ash into his inner circle making him a part of so
mething he never thought he’d want. Having Drew as a friend was as important as having him as a lover. And someone like Drew would insist on being both.
As he continued to watch Drew clean up, Ash focused on the part of his neck between where his hair curled at the edges and his T-shirt ended. All he wanted to do was lick that teasing bit of flesh. Lost in the fantasy of him driving into Drew on the examining room table, gripping the man’s hips as he pushed into Drew over and over again, he almost jumped a foot when Drew tapped him on the shoulder.
“Whoa, what’s up with you today? You’re jumpy as all hell.” Drew laughed and stepped back with his hands up. “You almost clocked me again.”
It took every effort of Ash’s will not to grab Drew and drag him up against his hard-on. The last thing he needed, however, was Drew finding out the depth of his feelings, considering his confused state of mind. “Restless night. I have a nasty case coming up I’m not looking forward to.” Big fucking lie. He never let any of his cases get to him, approaching them as a means to an end. Helping the kids here had become his reality now, the only thing that really mattered aside from finding out where Luke and Brandon were. That was paramount and what made him get up every morning.
He slid off the examining table. “Thanks, Doc.” Drew had put those sexy glasses back on again and Ash touched the rim of them with a fingertip. “You never answered me. When did you get those?”
Drew reddened. “I went to the eye doctor since my vision started getting a little blurry close up. He said I should wear them.”
“They look good. Make you look like a professor. Women will love them.” Ash gave him a two-fingered salute and walked out the door, not waiting for an answer. He didn’t want to think about Drew dating women. He didn’t want to think about Drew at all, yet the rest of the day found his thoughts back again to Esther’s kitchen and the hidden pain he’d seen in Drew’s eyes. Over the years, Ash had become an expert in detecting subterfuge; whether in a witness on the stand or in a potential bed partner, he managed to ferret out their weakness and drive home for the kill.
Not so with Drew. Ash rubbed his eyes and paced his small office, wrangling with the disturbing thoughts racing through his mind. The lust to fuck Drew still remained but now something else, indefinable and somewhat frightening, cropped up to join his physical need.
The day flew, and by five o’clock he was on his last appointment. His heart squeezed at the sight of Stevie’s name on the list. One of the unlucky ones, Stevie was a target for every homophobic bully he came into contact with. Small, thin, and pale, he was almost pretty enough to pass for a young girl. Two neighborhood kids constantly harassed him, pushing him around, occasionally grabbing his genitals and taunting him as he walked to and from the bus stop. It never mattered that Stevie didn’t answer back. They heaped threats on him, vowing to cut off his balls and stuff them in his mouth should he ever breathe a word to anyone about what they did or said. A few times they’d dragged him into an alley where one boy held Stevie down while the other hit him and touched him inappropriately. The bruises they inflicted were crafted to remain hidden under his clothing, but from years of experience, it didn’t fool Ash. He knew where to look.
At their first meeting, Stevie’s nervousness almost caused him to vomit. He kept glancing at the door, later confessing he’d thought someone would burst through it to drag him out and kill him. Several weeks passed before he could relax enough to confide his painful story. But only to Ash. When Ash told him he would go to the police to report what Stevie told him, the boy freaked out. He liked his foster parents and was deathly afraid if he said anything they’d move him to a different home. There was comfort in knowing the devil you had.
“I’ll run away and never come back if you do that. Please. Let me come here and talk to you for now.”
Sitting behind his desk, Ash’s fingers tightened on the folder that held the details of all of Stevie’s personal sessions. He understood what the boy lived through. The only hope was for Stevie to gain strength and report the abuse. As of today, he was too scared. Ash could hardly blame him for his very real fear.
For over an hour Ash waited for Stevie to show, but by six o’clock he finally admitted defeat. Stevie wasn’t coming. Fear gripped him; in his experience it was as easy to imagine Stevie lying beaten in a gutter somewhere than him sitting at home. Having seen the worst of what could happen to a boy like Stevie; vulnerable and defeated before he had a chance to succeed, Ash thought back to his brothers and how he let them down. At eighteen he’d no choice but to save himself or die. Now, he would use the money and power he strived all these years to attain to help Stevie and people like him to believe in themselves and a future they never dreamed possible.
But Stevie had to come to him; Ash couldn’t chase him down in the mean streets of his neighborhood. And as he waited with growing frustration, watching the clock tick past six, Ash knew when to call it quits. Something had happened to spook Stevie. The last time they’d spoken he’d been full of plans to make the center a regular part of his routine. Ash surmised he might want to hang out because it kept him off the streets and out of sight as a target for the neighborhood bullies.
Once he’d shut down the computer and locked up the office, Ash turned out the light and headed to the front of the center. His shoes made no sound on the shining, laminate floors and again he marveled at Drew’s fierce dedication. In his life, Ash hadn’t had much to be proud of; he’d lied as a young man to make his way up north and knew how poorly he treated most men when it came to sex. But being surrounded by Drew and his friends cut through the grayness surrounding his life all these years. Being here, spending time at the center not only with Drew but with the young people who only sought acceptance and to be treated with common decency made him wonder of the possibility of his own redemption.
The two teens sat at the front desk, looking tired and anxious to leave.
“I’m sorry I kept you guys. I’d hoped Stevie would show today, but looks like that’s not happening.”
Javier’s face darkened. “Don’t you worry, Ash. I’m gonna go make sure he’s okay. I know where to look.” He pulled on his jacket.
Something tight unfurled in Ash’s chest then, seeing the support Stevie had gained from people who hardly knew him, yet cared about his welfare. Kindness did exist if it was nurtured and given a home. Ash wondered if Luke and Brandon had managed to gain a circle of trust and friendship such as this, but doubted it. A man like Drew, selfless and giving, was a rarity.
His head ached at the point where Drew tended to it earlier and a fog of weariness enveloped him, but that didn’t quell Ash’s fear for Javier. He might be eighteen but terrible things could and did happen to young men at that age. Ash couldn’t live with himself if anything happened to the boy.
“Don’t go chasing after trouble, Javier. We don’t need you hurt.”
Javier flashed a smile. “Don’t worry. I know the streets; I lived on them for a while. I’ll be careful.” The smile faded when he reached the front door. “I won’t let no one hurt Stevie.” Before Ash or Marly could respond, he fled.
Who would care about him if he disappeared? Would anyone? Would Drew?
“Are you okay Ash? You look kinda funny.”
Marly’s voice penetrated the fog in his head and Ash focused on her anxious face.
“I’m fine. I’ll see you tomorrow and hopefully Stevie will come then. Do you have someone to walk you home?”
“It’s okay; it’s still light out. I only live a few blocks away.”
Over his dead body would he send a young girl—especially Marly, who’d seen enough terror in the world—out on these streets if he didn’t have to.
“Don’t be ridiculous. I’ll send you home in a car.”
“But—”
Two taps on his phone and it was done. He cut her protest short. “It’s all arranged. A car will be here in ten minutes to take you home. I’ll wait with you.”
“You don’t h
ave to do that. I’ll be fine waiting here by myself.”
Was anyone ever okay alone? Ash hated it; it was why he filled his nights with anonymous men and too much alcohol.
“I’m staying. No one else is here? Everyone left?”
Marly nodded. “Dr. Drew went home about half an hour ago. He left with Dr. Jordan.”
Great. No doubt Jordan took tremendous delight in talking shit about him. Bastard. It didn’t help that most of the things Jordan said about him were correct.
“So I’ll be here with you until the car comes. And I’m going to talk to Dr. Drew about arranging for you to have a car take you home every day.”
“Really?” Marly bit her lip. “Thanks. It’ll be good when the winter comes and it’s dark early. But I could get someone to walk me home.”
Ash made a mental note to speak to Drew about it. Marly was an at-risk girl and God knows he had enough regrets in his life; he didn’t need anything happening to Marly to add to the pile of guilt he carried with him.
“Like I said. Don’t worry about it.” The sound of a car pulling up in front cut her protests short. “See? It’s here already. Let’s go.”
They walked out together and Marly locked the door, setting the alarm system. Ash walked her to the black car idling at the curb and waited while she buckled her seatbelt. She opened the window and waved.
“Bye, Ash. I’ll see you tomorrow.”
He gave her a slight wave and called for his own car. Waiting in the early evening twilight Ash had time to reflect on the changes in his life lately and he wasn’t sure they were all for the better. He wondered whether Drew had gone home or if he had started dating yet. Even more, he wondered why he cared.
Chapter Nine
“Hey, it’s Drew. How’s your head?”
Silly for him to be nervous calling, but Drew wanted to check on Ash to make sure the cut near his eye hadn’t started seeping.
A Walk Through Fire Page 8