A Walk Through Fire

by Felice Stevens

  The rough-smooth feel of Drew’s tongue soothed him, a balm to his tortured soul. Drew’s hands rested on Ash’s thighs, the tips of his fingers rubbing gentle circles on his hipbones.

  “Oh God.” In a smooth movement, Drew placed one hand on Ash’s hip while the other kept a steady stroking motion on the part of Ash’s cock that wasn’t inside his mouth. He was far from expert and lacked the finesse of a more practiced technique, but for Ash it was perfect. It came from the heart, and Drew’s need for Ash. It was pure Drew.

  Heat flooded through him as his heart began to race, his balls tingled, and with a hushed groan, he came, filling Drew’s mouth. Ash worried for a moment Drew wouldn’t be able to handle swallowing, but when he’d recovered enough to open his eyes and search Drew’s face, nothing but a smile resided on those glistening lips.

  He pulled Drew up and kissed him, enjoying the soft heat of his mouth. Ash discovered he loved kissing Drew and couldn’t stop thinking about his lips. “Baby, you were amazing. But why?” He held Drew close, listening to the pounding of his heart matching its beat with Ash’s own. Totally in sync. “Why me?”

  “Because I’m tired of watching life happen around me. Everyone thinks they know what’s best for me—my sister, my friends. They treat me as if I have no backbone or I’m too emotionally immature to make my own decisions, especially after the disaster with Jackie.”

  Ash kept silent, holding on to Drew and stroking his back. He’d seen it—the way Drew’s friends took over his life and made decisions for him. He’d never thought to say anything before, as he hadn’t known it bothered Drew so much. But with a sinking feeling, he understood the meaning behind Drew’s words.

  “So I’m your rebellion? A way to show everyone that even though they don’t like me, you’ll do what you want?” Ash held his breath, waiting for the answer.

  “Hell no.” Drew’s emphatic denial comforted him, and when he tipped his head back to gaze into Ash’s eyes, Ash saw straight into his heart. “Don’t you get it yet? You’re so much more than that to me. We need to talk, but I have to get back to my grandmother, and you need to get dressed and go back to work.”

  Drew’s lopsided grin as Ash reached down to pull up his boxers and pants caused a funny thump in Ash’s chest. He zipped himself up but didn’t let Drew move out of reach.

  “It’s not my fault I was attacked at my desk. I was trying to do work.” Ash grinned as he slipped his hand under Drew’s collar, resting it on the nape of his neck. His thumb swept back and forth against the soft skin there. What was it about this man that rendered him helpless? He kissed Drew’s cheek, enjoying the barely-there shiver that rippled under Drew’s skin as Ash held him tight. “You really want me with you at the hospital?”

  Drew sighed and nodded against his chest. “I do. I want you with me. Period. Do you want that?”

  “Why? I know I want you. But you’ve never been with a man before, and from what I’ve seen, it was never on your horizon.” Ash still didn’t understand Drew’s ease with their sexual relationship.

  Drew leaned his hip on the desk. “We had an unconventional upbringing. I’ve never been hung up on sexual labels. When my parents were alive, they told both Rachel and me that as long as we loved the person, it didn’t matter who we slept with, man or woman. After our parents died I went a bit wild, like I told you before, and Rachel did also. It’s obvious she’s now very much in love with Mike, and I hope it stays that way forever.”

  “Your parents were very special.” Ash wondered if his own parents knew he was gay even at his young age and that was one of the reasons they’d dumped him and ran. “But aren’t you concerned about what people might say now, if they found out?”

  Drew’s voice came out uncharacteristically hard. “It’s nothing that I ever needed to discuss with anyone and still don’t. My sexuality is my own personal business, and like I said to Jordan, who I choose to sleep with is my decision.”

  Ash contemplated Drew’s profile. Drew might not have an overpowering physical presence, but Ash could take a lesson from his emotional strength. “Baby, you’re amazing. I’d be proud to be with you anywhere.”

  The sweet smile that broke across Drew’s face took his breath away.

  “So don’t disappear on me again. Talk to me and tell me how you feel. Okay?”

  Ash nodded. “I promise.” He leaned over and kissed Drew’s cheek again, his lips lingering on his freshly shaven skin. “Come home with me tonight?” He kissed Drew’s lips. “Stay with me?”

  Drew’s hands crept up to hold on to his shoulders. “I want to, but the cat…” He moaned as Ash planted kisses along his lips, nipping and licking their softness.

  “Please, baby. I want you so much. Bring the cat with you. Stay with me.” Before Drew, Ash had never needed to touch his lovers beyond the physical necessity to achieve release. He didn’t pay much attention to whether or not they received pleasure of their own. Being with Drew changed him from a selfish lover to one who cared about giving pleasure.

  “Bring Domino to your apartment?” Drew sounded incredulous. “But what if he ruins something or has an accident?” His eyes danced with laughter. “He can be a little vindictive if he gets annoyed.”

  Ash thought of his pristine apartment and winced. But he really wanted Drew in his bed tonight. “Maybe we could go over to your apartment and feed him, then go to mine?” His eyebrows waggled. “I’ll make it worth your while.” Ash bent Drew backward over his desk, prepared to convince him with his lips and his body, when his personal cell phone buzzed with the specific ringtone he’d assigned to Martinson.

  “Shit, I have to take this. It’s the private investigator I hired to find Luke and Brandon.” When he saw Drew stand and make his way to the door, he asked Martinson to hold. “Where are you going?”

  Drew stopped and turned around. “I figured you wanted me to leave, like you did the last time he called.”

  “Don’t be an idiot. Please wait? Sit down on the sofa where you’ll be more comfortable.” He pulled Drew to him for a quick but fierce hug, then turned his attention back to the phone.

  Martinson’s no-nonsense voice reassured him. “It seems that after Luke Conover left the house, Paul Munson and his wife took the other boy, Brandon, and left the state. They ended up in Pennsylvania, where Munson got a job with a small sheriff’s department, and Grace Munson taught Sunday school in the local church. Brandon went to high school, played baseball, and was well liked by everyone.”

  So excited he was practically shaking, Ash asked, “And now? Do you know where he is now?”

  Drew came to stand next him, and Ash hugged him tight, his anchor against the storm of his life.

  “That’s the strange thing. He disappeared the week before he was supposed to leave for college. No note and no trace of him.”

  Ash’s heart sank. “But that’s almost eight years ago. No one’s heard from him?”

  “Only a few letters to his mother that showed up with no discernible pattern. They say ‘Don’t worry, I’m well.’ Nothing else.”

  In a tight voice, Ash asked, “Postmarks?”

  “Different states in the Northeast.” Ash could sense the man’s frustration over the phone. “I’m not giving up, sir.”

  Ash sighed. It wasn’t Martinson’s fault that he wanted to throw the phone through the window or punch something or someone hard. “I know you aren’t. It isn’t your fault. Keep going. Spare no expense.”

  “Yes, sir. I promise I’ll find him.”

  “Thank you.” Ash clicked off and threw the phone onto the couch. “Fuck.”

  “I’m sorry.” Drew squeezed his hand. “I know you’ve been looking for a long time. You’ll find him one day.”

  Ash stalked around his office. “I’m beginning to wonder. Now that I know he disappeared willingly, it’s clear he doesn’t want to be found. Those are the hardest kinds of people to find.”

  Drew stepped in his path, forcing him to halt his steps. “Listen
, whatever happens, you don’t have to handle it alone anymore. We can work on it together.”

  Exactly like he’d thought. The man was too fucking good. “So you’ll come home with me tonight?” Ash dragged Drew up against him, palming the man’s perfect, taut ass. He could feel the muscles flexing underneath his fingers. “Say yes.” He kissed Drew’s neck, his jaw, and then rested his lips at the corner of Drew’s mouth. “Please,” he murmured, watching Drew’s eyes flutter shut.

  “Okay, yes, whatever you want.” Drew shifted his head, and their lips met.

  Soft, sweet, and the lightest touch. Not hard or brutal, with a thrusting tongue and clashing teeth. Still somewhat uncomfortable with kissing, Ash stiffened at first, but when Drew flickered the tip of his tongue along the seam of Ash’s lips, desire overpowered fear and he opened his mouth to fall into the eroticism of the simple kiss. They stood that way, kissing, learning each other’s mouths and breaths, until Drew pulled away with a look of regret. “I need to get back to the hospital.”

  “Then I’m coming with you.” The smile on Drew’s face let him know he’d made the right decision. Fuck Jordan and whoever else had a problem with him and Drew. From now on he’d make sure to be by Drew’s side to support him as he stood up to his friends and family.

  Whatever he needed.

  Chapter Twenty-Four

  They arrived at the hospital around lunchtime. Drew could tell his grandmother was almost back to normal, as she was giving the nurse her special recipe for apple cake, which as he knew, was the best thing in the world. He bent down and kissed her cheek.

  “They’re moving you to a regular room in a few minutes.” He greeted the nurse, then checked his grandmother’s chart, pleased to see all her vital signs were normal. The nurse left the room, leaving him alone with her.

  “Why can’t I go home? I feel perfectly fine.” She scowled at him.

  “Because they need to observe you for one more night and I agree. So does Rachel, so you’re outvoted.” He folded his arms and scowled right back at her.

  She relented. “Only one more night, though. I want to go home. I miss my bed and my flowers.” She peered behind him, looking over his shoulder, her face brightening. “Oh, Asher is here. I wondered if he was going to come by.”

  Drew sat in the chair next to her bed so she could wave to Ash through the glass. “He was here last night too, but had to leave early this morning.”

  “I hope you two put aside your differences.” She dragged her gaze away from Ash to glare at him.

  Oh, Nana, you have no idea. “Um, yeah. We’re good now. He was very worried about you.”

  “I’m glad you two are friends again.” She pursed her lips and studied her hands.

  Drew could tell she wanted to say something but held back, which was unusual for his outspoken grandmother.

  “Nana, what is it? I know you want to ask me something, so go ahead and spit it out.”

  Her gaze slid over him; then she turned her attention back to study her fingers. “Where’s your girlfriend? Isn’t she here?”

  Drew took her hand in his, noting how thin and fragile it felt. Her pale skin revealed every blue vein, reflecting all the hard work she’d endured during her life. He kissed her fingertips. “We broke up.”

  Her eyes opened wide. “You did? Why?”

  He shrugged. “You were right. She got too serious, too fast. She told me how much she loved me, and I freaked out.” He placed his grandmother’s hand back on the bed and, with a quick glance through the window, saw Ash standing there, talking to Mike and Rachel. “I didn’t love her, and I’m never going to fall in love with her. So I told her, but in a nice way.”

  Nana nodded with approval. “Good. I knew she was crazy about you, and you didn’t feel the same way. It wasn’t right for you to string her along. She’s a sweet girl, but not the right person for you.”

  Nana held his gaze, and he shifted on his feet, a little embarrassed. For some reason, he thought she wanted to say more, but then the orderlies came in to transfer her to her regular room.

  “I’ll see you later.” He gave her a quick kiss and left, joining his sister and the others waiting outside.

  Drew could tell by the side looks Rachel kept giving him that she was dying to get him alone to talk about him and Ash.

  Because he loved her and they were so close, he decided it was only right he talk to her first. But not with Mike. “They’re transferring her to a room for one more night of observation.” He smiled at Rachel. “Everything looks normal.”

  Rachel hugged him. “Thank God. I don’t know what I’d do if…well, let’s not think about it anymore.” She held on to him.

  “Mike.” Drew held onto Rachel. “I want to borrow my sister for a while, all right?”

  His friend had his bad ear turned toward him and didn’t hear him. When he went to tap him, Rachel put a hand on his arm.

  “Don’t.” Her voice was quiet, her eyes sad. “He’s still jumpy from the attack, and if you startle him, it makes it worse.” She left his side to stand in front of her boyfriend. “Hey, love. I’m gonna go talk to Drew for a few.”

  Drew watched them closely. The look on Mike’s face as they spoke was almost worshipful. His sister deserved nothing less.

  She returned to his side. “Okay, I’m ready.”

  After saying goodbye to Ash and Mike, he and Rachel left the hospital and went to the diner across the street. They settled into a booth and the waitress brought their coffees right away, but she didn’t take a sip, instead jumping right into the conversation.

  “What’s going on with you and Ash?”

  Here goes nothing. “We’ve sort of started a relationship.” He took a quick sip of his iced coffee, welcoming the shock of cold as it traveled a path down his throat. A quick glance at her face let Drew know, yep, she was surprised.

  Her eyes narrowed. “Jordan said he’d take advantage of you. I like Ash but—”

  “Listen.” He sensed his anger rising and struggled to keep it under control. “I’m tired of everyone telling me who they think is right for me and who I should or shouldn’t date, sleep with or marry.

  “But you have to admit I was right about Jackie.” Rachel shot him a pointed look.

  “Yes, Rach, and I said it, fine. You were right about that. But it’s my life to live and make decisions and mistakes, if they happen. You all need to stop thinking you have the right to tell me what to do and not do. Stop treating me like a little kid instead of your older brother.”

  “But Drew, you and Ash? I like him. I really do, but Jordan says he’s a player. I don’t want you to get hurt.”

  Exasperated, he rolled his eyes. “So what? What if I do get hurt? It’s my life and my choice.”

  “Well, you chose Jackie, and look what a bad choice that was. So maybe you need someone to tell you you’re making a mistake.” Her voice dropped to a whisper. “And you’re really sleeping with him? You’re not gay, so what are you doing?”

  His stomach dropped. One thing he’d always thought he could count on was support from Rachel. If he didn’t have that, he might be lost. “Would you be upset to find out I was bisexual? I thought you of all people didn’t care about things like that.”

  Now it was her turn to roll her eyes and make a disgusted sound to go along with it. “Don’t be a jerk. I’ll love you no matter what. I don’t care if you’re gay or bi or straight, but this seems so sudden, that’s all.”

  “It actually isn’t,” he admitted. “I’ve been attracted to Ash for a while now but denied it. Things happened the other night, and now this is exactly where I need to be.” He took her hand and squeezed it. “He’s a good man, Rach. His childhood was unbearable; you have no idea. I’m in awe of what he’s made of himself.” His lips tightened. “I won’t let Jordan bad-mouth him. If he has a problem with Ash, then he either needs to deal with it or not be my friend anymore.”

  A small sound of dismay slipped out of Rachel’s mouth. “You’ve
known Jordan all your life. You can’t cut him out like that. He’s practically family.”

  “Family should stand by you and support you. That’s what I’m asking. As long as you’re there for me, for us, that’s all I need.” He stood and kissed her cheek. “I have to get to the clinic. Are we good?” He held his breath, waiting for her response.

  She jumped up and flung her arms around him. “Of course. I love you no matter what. And I promise to try and back off.” Being Rachel, she had to get in her parting shot, like she always did. “But if Ash hurts you, all bets are off.”

  He laughed, shaking his head as he left the diner.

  That evening, Drew lay spread-eagled on Ash’s enormous king-sized bed. Through heavy-lidded eyes he watched Ash kiss a path down his chest to the line of hair that led a trail from his stomach to disappear beneath his boxers. Who would have ever thought he’d be lying here in a man’s bed, reveling in kisses so intense he could barely breathe? Then Ash dipped his tongue into Drew’s belly button, and all thoughts fled leaving only pleasure and lust remaining. Ash caressed his cock through his thin boxer shorts and tugged them down, allowing his erection to spring free. The coolness of the air conditioner hit his fevered skin, causing him to shiver with delight.

  “That feel good, baby?” Ash whispered, his cheek resting on Drew’s thigh as he stroked Drew’s cock with a strong hand. Drew arched up into his touch.

  “Incredible. Don’t stop.” Drew couldn’t help thrusting into Ash’s hand, his cock leaking wetness from the head. He never remembered it being so easy to get hard. It seemed now all Ash had to do was look at him, and he had an erection. “Faster.”

  Ash chuckled. “Not so fast. The pleasure is better if you prolong the wait.” He laid off for a moment, then straddled Drew, his large powerful thighs entrapping Drew’s lower body. “I love to see you under me, begging for it.”