“Well, shit,” said Esai. “I thought the last one was spectacular enough. How often are we going to do this?”
Danny and I looked at each other, for once in agreement. I repeated the same line I’d given my squad a few weeks earlier. “Threats to the Balance will always exist. Danny susses out major activity. Dakarai and his protégé, Adriana, do their mystical thing and confirm whether it will tilt the scales. I kill them. We’re still dealing with the creepy cult of chaos, and it seems like there’s no end to their membership. They’re like roaches, multiplying all over the place.”
“Mikael’s vision doesn’t seem like the normal operation. A storm?”
“Can I state the obvious?” I asked, ignoring the pinch on my side from Nicholas. “The storm, the darkness, can’t this be related to the same damn topic I bring up every meeting? Not you, Esai,” I blurted. “Remember what Ashor said. You, we, unleashed something when you brought me back. It is our job to return it. What if it has grown? What if it’s turned into something bigger than just one person? Not everyone at the battle in the cabin was detained. What if some evil got away?”
My other mentor, the immortal Ashor, the first Black Knight, appeared only in my dreams. He was the one who had first alerted me to the fact that the dark magic my friends had used to usher my return to the living had unleashed an entity I was convinced possessed Esai and possibly others.
“I have read nothing about that, and I’ve been searching,” said Cecilia, exasperated before I could even warm up. “You’re the only one who claims to have seen something.”
“Jordan felt it.”
“Jordan’s not here,” Danny shot back, steel barbs in his words. “He walked away because he didn’t need your shit on top of his own grief.”
I sucked in a breath and tried to calm myself. “That’s not fair. He’s coming back.”
“No, he’s not.”
Dakarai rapped his fist on the table, bringing an end to the bitter argument. “Enough. Whether he returns is irrelevant. He has chosen his path wherever that leads him. Don’t begrudge him that. And don’t count on him returning to solve our problems. Jasper is right. This has to be connected to what Ashor told her.”
I crossed my arms with satisfaction and glared at the other side of the table. “I’ll try my best to find out more from Ashor, but he’s finicky with the information he gives out. Sometimes he says I’m not ready. Other times, he claims he doesn’t know.”
“Tell your mystical mentor we’re on a time crunch,” said Esai. “And leave me out of it.” The anger in his words was enough to stiffen my spine. But I saw a flash of red in his brown eyes, a wave of anger rising to the surface. I bit the inside of my cheek to keep from screaming. He was poisoned. I knew it and it was only a matter of time until it spread like the plague and everyone else could see it too.
“Fine,” I snapped. “It’s not like we have daily check-ins, you know. He appears in my dreams whenever he wants, not when I ask. Last night I dreamed of having a puppy, so take from that what you will. I’ll share whatever I find out when I can.”
“Fine,” Esai snapped back. “Are we done? I’d like to get out of here before I’m pelted with garlic.”
Shit. I’d forgotten about garlic. I added it to my mental shopping list but stopped from saying it aloud when Nicholas rolled his eyes at me. He balanced my crazy and kept me as close to normal as I got. It was stifling, but he meant well, and it had saved us many bloody altercations.
“I don’t have garlic,” I replied. “And report to Voss during your shift. He has your next assignments.”
Esai exploded out of his chair. “Just because you had a nervous breakdown, you’re not letting me pursue my birthright. I am an assassin of the Order of Vespers, just as much as you or anyone else. You’d better watch out because one day you won’t be able to survive without me.” He stormed off and slammed the door behind him.
I held up my hands in a gesture of surrender. “Hey, I didn’t do anything but tell him where to go. They’re buying ammunition this week, and he’s strong. We need the muscle and Voss said he’s great with inventory. Besides, on the last mission, he went off on his own and endangered us all.”
“Nearly, or did?” asked Danny. “I’m not taking sides, but you both see things differently.”
I pursed my lips together and thought about our most recent rescue mission, which had centered on a couple in Miami. One woman could manipulate light. Someone found out about it and had been menacing them for weeks. They’d wanted out of their hometown and to start a new life somewhere else. We’d offered a chance to stay at the Order while we helped relocate them. While we were in town to rescue them, Esai left our temporary lodgings alone and terrified them by insisting on inspecting their home with no notice. They thought he was with the people threatening them and had called the police. It took all of my powers of persuasion, and the little bit of mind manipulation I inherited from my sister, to convince the cops we were professional movers helping them move to a new city.
“If I hadn’t been able to use my mind control, he would have been arrested. There would have been little I could have done if that happened.”
“Very little you would have done,” Cecilia corrected me. “Perhaps you should go easier on him, maybe give him more responsibility. He might be less inclined to go rogue.”
Biting my tongue, I glanced at Mikael, who shook his head at me ever so slightly. He spoke. “Esai will not stop as long as Jasper is in charge. He believes he knows better than her in all matters. It is problematic because we have a long list of families to rescue and relocate.”
Nicholas chimed in on my behalf, saying, “The Vespers don’t like him. They consider him too rough around the edges, and he makes them nervous. They’re glad they don’t have to deal with him anymore. Even at his worst, Jordan never turned people off in that way.”
“He has to come back,” I muttered under my breath. Sighing, I raised my voice. “Something needs to be done. I can’t bench him for every mission. He’s useful, and his grasp of different languages helps when we’re traveling out of the country.”
“We have at least five overseas trips coming up,” said Mikael. “We need him, but he must behave.”
Dakarai rubbed his temples in a circular motion and closed his eyes as if we’d just added another huge problem to his plate, which we had. “I will speak with him. Again. Yes, he has a problem with Jasper, but he must put it aside for the good of the team.”
“What if he can’t?” asked Nicholas.
Danny’s eyes hardened, and he clenched his fist. “Then I’ll handle him. Jasper and I may have our differences, but she can run our assassins well. I won’t have anyone ruining the good we have.”
I blinked in surprise at the show of support and swallowed hard. “Thank you, Danny.”
He shrugged. “I won’t tolerate insubordination on my team, and you shouldn’t have to either. If you need my help, I’m here.”
Dakarai waved us off. “Go. We all have work to do. Mikael, Jasper, write down your dreams. Keep me apprised of your missions. I will let you know the outcome of my conversation with Esai. Good job, everyone.”
With that, we were dismissed. I rose and hung back, waiting for Danny. He saw me dawdling and kissed Cecilia goodbye, sending her off with Nicholas and Mikael. Dakarai raised his eyebrows at us, shrugged, and ambled off.
“Danny, I don’t know what to say,” I started.
“Don’t get too emotional. We’re not going to become best friends. Hell, I’m not going to invite you out for an occasional drink. But you’re smart, and you’re good at what you do, no matter what Esai says. Sure, you’re no Jordan, but no one is. Since he’s gone, the least I can do is back you up and show a united front. We need to get Esai and his friends in line.”
“His friends?”
“Yeah. You know, the ones who think like him and want into the assassins.”
“Oh, those guys,” I said, wrinkling my nose in disgust. �
�If they were any good, I’d accept them, but they’re just violent brutes. They don’t have what it takes to show compassion when necessary. They make Esai look like the kindest dude in the world.”
“They’ve complained.”
Yikes, it was worse than I thought. Some of Esai’s friends, the ones that had trained with him in South America for years before moving to the Order the previous year, had applied to become assassins. They had, for one reason or another, failed our initiation and training, and didn’t take rejection well. They blamed my dislike of Esai as the reason. That’s when they weren’t blaming my inexperience, a complete lack of talent, or stupidity. I’d heard the whispers before but dismissed them as sour grapes. But if they were talking to Danny, things were getting out of control.
Danny saw the realization dawning on my face and patted my shoulder. “We’ll figure it out. Their interference is messing with my job too. It’s bullshit.”
I swallowed the lump in my throat and nodded. Danny was an unexpected ally, but I’d take it.
✽ ✽ ✽
Later that night, Mikael and I hunkered down on my couch with a bowl of popcorn and assorted candies between us. Our Thursday movie nights were sacred. Everyone knew we were both off limits. This was how we decompressed. I came to appreciate these moments as a time like the hours I’d spent with my twin brother before he died. Fun, comforting, and necessary. After the meeting, we had earlier and the realizations about Esai and his friends, I needed to get it all off my mind.
“I don’t normally like cartoons,” he said, his head bopping along to the musical, “but the songs are beautiful. I also like the funny chicken.”
I giggled and imagined Mikael dressing up as the god from the Moana for Halloween and made a mental note to buy him the costume. “The movie makes me want to learn how to surf. One day, when we have a break from the universe, we’ll go to Hawaii, just the two of us. We’ll take lessons and be complete beach bums.”
“One day.” Mikael paused the movie, his Russian accent thickening the way it did when he was serious. “We’re not getting a break anytime soon. But you knew, da?”
I put down my chocolate-covered raisins and nodded. “Yes, I know. Between my dreams and your visions, it’s safe to say we’re in for bigger trouble than we care to admit. The news we’ve been getting is scary. There are more kidnappings and more threats to our people. The battle to come will be deadly. Dakarai and I have been working on my abilities, although I don’t know what the wind manipulation I’ve inherited can do against the cult, let alone the demon that’s inhabiting Esai. I don’t think I’m strong enough to do this alone.”
“You’re not alone,” he said. “I may not have superhuman strength, but I am here for you. And so are Nicholas and Danny. Is that not enough?”
I shuddered. “What if it’s a whole host of demons? What can we four do against that?”
Mikael made the sign of the cross, a holdover from his Catholic upbringing. “Do not joke about that, Milaya. We do not want to want to disturb forces that large. The cult is interfering with the supernatural, but our focus should be on the physical realm, da? We have people to rescue. You miss Jordan, this I know. But we are strong enough without him.”
“I’m not,” I argued. “He’s my other half. More important, he sees things that no one else does. He admitted that he saw something coming from Esai, or Marcus, or someone. He knows there is a demon and thinks it is worth fighting. Don’t you? What if it’s behind the cult’s motives?”
“One thing at a time. The demon will wait. Ashor would have told you.”
I sighed, not wanting to drop my pet project, but Mikael was right. I couldn’t focus on the demon or demons that had been plaguing us since my return if I had to stamp out a cult.
“Your visions,” I said, changing the topic. “They don’t sound cheerful.”
“One will die,” he reminded me.
“Yes, I know. Let’s look at this logically. It will not be me, because if I die Jordan dies, and the vision specifies only one person.”
“Would you prefer it if it’s another one of us?”
I faltered. “No, of course not. I’m just saying that maybe your vision isn’t as literal as we think. The last time you saw that someone would die, none of us expected that it would be Jordan’s girlfriend. It was a pointless death.”
“She was a part of the team, a good assassin, and a great person. She died doing what she loved, protecting others from evil.”
I waved an impatient hand. “I didn’t mean to imply otherwise. But we thought the Circle would be broken.”
“It is. Jordan is gone. That night broke him, and he left.”
“He’s coming back.”
Mikael put an arm around my shoulders, placing a soft kiss on my forehead. “We all want him to return.”
“Not Nicholas,” I admitted. “He prefers life without Jordy because it’s calmer. I’m calmer and less likely to come home covered in bruises. He doesn’t like the bond between us, either.”
“If he dies, you die, too. Your Nicholas, he cares for you. His problems are not so unreasonable,” he replied.
“It’s more than that.” I shook my head. I didn’t want to get into the rare arguments my boyfriend, and I’d had over the man who had disappeared. “Anyway, Jordy knows we’re counting on him. He won’t let us down.”
“Let’s hope not.” Mikael turned the movie back on and said nothing, resting his head on mine and humming along to the music.
“He wouldn’t leave us alone to fight whatever is coming,” I said, pausing the movie again.
“We haven’t spoken in months. There is no way for him to know about your nightmares or my visions. Why would he come back when he is under the belief that all is well here?”
“He knows,” I insisted. “We’re not meeting in our dreams anymore, but I’m positive he knows something is wrong, and he won’t stay away. He wouldn’t do that to us.”
If I kept saying it, and I had a habit of repeating it several times a day like my personal mantra, it would have to come true. Jordan was a lot of things, but he wasn’t a flake, and he’d never abandon his friends. Even if it seemed like that’s exactly what he’d done. The last time we spoke he mentioned traveling around the world in vague terms. I’d teased him about sending me postcards, and he’d promised he would, but he hadn’t, and I neglected to call him back. Maybe that had been my mistake, giving too much space to a grieving friend. Maybe if I’d just been more compassionate, called him more, begged him to come home—“It is September.”
“You and Nicholas both need to stop saying that. We still have a few more days. Why don’t you want him to return? He’s your friend.”
Mikael regarded me with the sadness of a man much older than his twenty-three years. He’d had a rough life before moving to the United States from Russia at fifteen. He’d been so scared of being sent back he refused to learn English or leave his quarters for another two years. Jordan had been the first person to accept him as he was, seizures, blackouts, visions, and all. Despite the language barrier, they’d become close. “He’s my brat,” he said, using the Russian word for brother. “I miss him and want him home, but this is his life. Let him choose his own path.”
I didn’t disagree with him, but I thought Jordan’s path should bring him back to the Order and us—the only home he’d known as a young man and adult. “Da, da,” I said, biting back another long-suffering sigh. “You have an early morning, and I have homework to do for Dakarai. It will take me hours to write everything from my nightmares. How am I supposed to get any sleep?”
“And fit in a meeting with your supernatural mentor,” he added.
“If he bothers to show up,” I countered. “I swear, what’s the point of having this connection to an immortal being if he won’t teach me anything? He’s got a knack for storytelling, but that doesn’t help our current situation. He’s a pain in my ass on the best of days, but lately, I want to tell him what he can do with himse
lf for his lack of help.”
Mikael huffed, chastisement written all over his face and censure dripping from every word. “Maybe he stays away until you show more respect. He is immortal and speaks to you from the liminal space. That is worthy of something.”
“Yeah, I guess.” I ran a hand through my hair and wanted to cry out of pure frustration. “We need answers, and we’re not getting it from anyone. Jordan needs to come home. We need his help. I can’t do this without him. Ashor, if he’s listening, needs to tell me whatever he knows about the demon and Esai.”
“Have you considered that he can’t? You couldn’t tell Jordan where you were when you were in the liminal space. He might have restrictions placed upon him.”
“I doubt it. He plays poker with liminal deities. There isn’t much that’s off-limits, at least from what I’ve seen.”
“Let us hope that your impolite talk prompts a visit.”
I nodded, a thought niggling the back of my mind. “What if they’re related, Jordan not coming back and Ashor abandoning me? He’s a piece of my soul and my link to the earthly realm. What if I need that to communicate with either one of them?”
“It is one theory,” he responded. “But I think you are conflating the two issues hoping to find a simple answer. I pray that is not the case.”
I rested my head on his shoulder and returned to the movie. We sat in silence until it was over. He kissed my cheek and swore he’d be on time for work in the morning. We both knew he’d run his predictable ten minutes late, but I never cared.
Alone in my apartment, I brooded over the mounting list of failures from the day. Mikael and Nicholas were right. My obsession with Jordan’s return had become as unhealthy as my desire to perform an exorcism on Esai. The man occupied my thoughts more than I was comfortable admitting and I’d had to stop myself from walking into his apartment a handful of times. We were opposite poles of a magnet, pulling together despite the distance. He had to have felt it as strongly as I did.
My preoccupation with Jordan had nothing to do with my feelings for Nicholas. In my mind, they were in separate categories, different parts of my life. Nicholas was safety, calm, and peace. There were no dramatic highs and lows in our relationship, and we didn’t beat each other up for fun. When he wasn’t around, I missed him like a favorite cozy sweater I wrapped around myself in the dead of winter. Missing Jordan was like losing a few toes. I could function, but I’d forever be off-balance and never whole. The man had tied his life and soul to mine. He’d carved his commitment into his skin, even when no one believed it would work. If his faith in me was that strong, I had to show the same level of trust in him. He’d return and help me figure this all out.
The Black Knights Page 2