Voss snapped out of his stupor. “Did you tell the rest of the team this? All of it?”
“I think so,” said Nicholas.
“Sleep on it tonight,” said Jordan. “Write everything that happened, everything you told us, and the small details you remember. What they were wearing, any specific language they used, even how they interacted with each other. Leave nothing out. We’ll call you tomorrow to review. And tell the team everything you share with us.”
“Aye, aye, captain. Now, may I speak to Jasper before she leaves the office?”
I picked up the handset and swallowed all the nastiness threatening to spill out. “What’s up?”
“That’s it? Nothing about being proud of me? No, ‘good job, Nick’? Don’t tell me that you’re still upset.”
“You can’t run off again. There’s so much work to be done just to ensure your safety. Promise me you won’t put yourself in harm’s way.”
His voice softened. “Maybe I was too rash today. I promise I’ll be smarter. Get some sleep. It’s too late for you to be in the office.”
“I know. Goodnight, Nicholas.” I hung up the phone and glowered. “What? I’m supposed to be the supportive one. I’m sure he doesn’t know that I want to murder him.”
Mikael smiled. “You were fantastic. Even I was convinced that you had forgiven him. Soon this will be over, and we will get back to normal.”
✽ ✽ ✽
Sleep offered no solace. I tossed and turned in bed for what seemed like hours before drifting off. As I opened my eyes again, I cursed. I was in a lucid dream. Worse, I knew exactly where I was. I returned to the liminal library and paced the long rows of desks, waiting for someone, anyone, to come out and talk.
“Ashor,” I called. “Dude. I need to talk to you. Please. Magic, mayhem, moody men. I can do this all day. Come on. I need your help.”
Ashor didn’t appear in a poof of smoke or to the sound of angelic trumpets. He didn’t appear at all, damn him. I prowled the rows of shelves nearby and looked for some clue what to do next as if I’d find a title that read, “how to stop the evil cult.”
Dammit. No such luck.
I sucked in a breath to bellow at my immortal mentor when footsteps echoed toward me. Yes! Finally, this man/being/whatever made an appearance after a month of leaving me hanging. The library was cool enough, but I need answers.
I dashed toward the main aisle and skidded to a stop.
Huh.
Not what I was expecting. Jordan, looking as confused as I felt, walked toward me, running his hands over the glossy tabletops as he approached.
“This is one of the most beautiful places I’ve ever been. I’ve had a lot of weird dreams, but I can say I’ve never woken up in a library before.” He frowned. “You look upset to see me.”
“How are you here?” I blurted. “Ashor! What the hell is going on? Why did you bring him here? What sort of weird fuckery is this?”
“Ashor? Jas, what’s going on?”
I shushed Jordan with an impatient wave of my hand. “Ashor! He’s not supposed to be here. No one is! If he gets stuck here, you and I will have major problems.”
“What’s the big deal?” asked Jordan. “We’ve shared dreams before, although it’s been a while since it’s been this vivid. What’s wrong?”
My heart pounded. Jordan was in the liminal place with me. Unless I was mistaken, only liminal beings and the occasional freak like me could enter. I’d nearly died, or died — I still wasn’t sure — and that’s why I could return. Jordan, last time I checked, was alive. Had something happened to him in the few hours since I’d seen him?
“You’re not supposed to be here. Wake up.”
His lips curled into a half-smile. “It doesn’t work like that. And where is here?”
“The liminal place,” I hissed. “The library where I come to study and talk with Ashor. Unless…” I paused and thought of everything I’d been through in this strange place between worlds where I’d been coached on the aspects of being the Black Knight, the standard bearer for the Order of Vespers. At one point, Ashor wore Jordan’s face to help me train. He’d claimed that I needed a familiar face. Maybe he was doing it again. I punched Jordan square in the chest, an act that Ashor would never allow.
Jordan pushed my shoulder in return. “I’m not sparring with you here, wherever this is. Are you sure this is the liminal place? Could this be a similar room in your dreams?”
“We’re here. I know this library like I know my bedroom.” I pointed to a chair with a slight crack in the armrest. “That’s from when Ashor knocked me on my ass for being sarcastic.”
The implications sank in. Jordan’s mouth formed an ‘o’ of surprise as he leaned back against the table. “How’d I get here? More important, how do I get out of here? Did you summon me?”
“No! That’s the problem. Only Ashor could do this, and I don’t know why and I don’t know where he is!” I walked down aisle after aisle and shouted for my immortal pain in my ass. Jordan was close on my heels. He kept asking questions, but I tuned him out. Maybe Ashor was playing hide-and-seek, the weirdo that he was, and I wouldn’t get answers until I found him. Worse, he wasn’t there at all and figuring out how to get Jordan home was one of his tests.
“Did I die?” he asked.
I whirled around and put my hand to his chest. His heart galloped beneath my hand. “I think you’re alive, like me. What’s the last thing you remember?”
“I went to bed and had trouble falling asleep, thinking of everything that’s been happening. I thought about…” He stopped, rubbed his face with one hand, and exhaled. “I was thinking about you when I fell asleep.”
“What about?”
“Not important. Listen; I’m here for a reason. Let’s figure that out. The rest will follow. I doubt Ashor will leave me trapped here, not when there’s so much to do.”
“He held me for a year, Jordan. He’s not big on keeping track of time.”
“The last time I thought of a place like this, you were practicing some magic. Breaking something. Wood? Suppose there’s something else you have to show me. Wait. That was real? You were really doing magic? There’s magic?”
I smiled at the growing panic in his voice. The situation and his worries weren’t funny, but he was cute, all red-faced and anxious.
“Yes, that was real. And yes, magic is real. Dakarai, Adriana, and I have been studying together. I was going to ask you to join us once things settled down. Ashor thinks I need this magic to defeat our enemies.”
“What does that have to do with me?”
“You are her protector by destiny and by choice,” came a booming voice from behind us. I sighed with relief as Jordan froze. We both turned to the source of the sound and saw the one and only Ashor walking toward us. He wore one of his leisure suits, this one a vibrant plum. As always, his shirt was unbuttoned to his navel and gold chains hung from his neck. His hair was quaffed. A cigar hung from between his lips.
Jordan dropped to his knees and bowed his head. “Bow,” he demanded under his breath.
“Uh, how about no? Ashor, dude. What the heck is going on? This isn’t right.”
“Get up, son,” said Ashor. He offered a hand and helped Jordan to his feet. “You are safe here, and you will return safely. Welcome to my library.”
“Thank you,” said Jordan with a healthy amount of deference that had never come out of my mouth. “Wow.”
“At least one of you has manners,” he said, smiling. “Sit with us, and we will talk.”
I glowered. “You haven’t shown up in weeks, and now you pull this kind of stunt! I’ve needed your help. Hell, I’ve begged for you to show up every time I end up here.” Tears threatened to wet my eyes. I swallowed the embarrassment and shame. “I needed you.”
Ashor put a hand on my shoulder and led me back to our usual table. He held out my chair for me and gestured for Jordan to sit to my left. “Child, I hate to break it to you, but I have a life outs
ide of this room. Many things require my attention. People to see, babies to kiss. You know.”
“So? You put this huge fate of the world thing on my shoulders and just disappeared.” Those damn tears rolled down my hot cheeks. I swiped at them and gulped. “You told me to learn magic. I’m trying. I don’t know what else to do. I don’t know what I’m supposed to learn or how it will help. Nicholas may have messed everything up. We’re facing someone who’s way smarter than us and more powerful, and it sounds like he’s an absolute zealot. And I still don’t know what to do about Esai being possessed. Everyone keeps telling me to put it on the back burner, but I know there’s something wrong and I can’t fix it. Then there’s this stupid job that I suck at, and Jordan won’t take it back. I’m just failing at everything, and I couldn’t even talk to you about it.”
The sobs came, and I hated every gasp and new flood of tears. A pair of arms went around me, and another hand patted my knee. I hadn’t ever voiced the burdens that I carried. There were many more, but they were stupid. Like, I was sure that Ashor didn’t care that I had constant headaches and nausea or that I still didn’t know who the hell I was as a person or my real role in life outside of this whole Black Knight thing. My existential crisis would have to wait until I had a real friend beside Mikael.
“You have real friends,” said Jordan. “If you’re having an existential crisis, you can talk to me. Don’t think I haven’t noticed that you’ve lost around ten pounds since my return. Don’t think that we don’t care. Lower your walls and let us in.”
Had I said that all out loud? Dammit. Gods dammit. I tried to pull away from him, but he held tighter. I couldn’t stop crying, either. I needed help and the one person, or being, I thought I could lean on had been missing in action for too long. How could they expect me to be strong all on my own? For cripes’ sake, I didn’t even finish high school. I was a spoiled suburban kid when everything happened, and I was brought to the Order. Now I was in charge of assassins, of all things, and the Black Knight.
Ashor squeezed my knee. “Child, enough. I don’t relish your pain, and I am sorry for my part in it. You are stronger than you can imagine, and not just with your abilities. That’s why you were chosen. If I were to use a ridiculous metaphor, I would say that you’re a diamond in the rough. Very, very, rough with a lot of work to do before you shine as brightly as I know you will. But the core is in you.”
“See?” said Jordan. “Like I said, the only thing you lack is confidence—”
“Debatable,” said Ashor.
I let out a shaky breath and collected myself enough to glare at him. “Hey, I thought you were trying to boost my self-esteem.”
“You, my rough child, have a long way to go. Get yourself together.”
“Excuse me,” Jordan said in that still deferential tone, “but why am I here?”
Ashor smiled and gave him an approving nod. “Ah, about time. If you are to serve at her side, you must know what she knows. You must be able to support her in all things. You are her beast, now more than ever, since you tied your life force to her to bring her back from this place. If she is to learn magic, you need to know enough to recognize when she is overextending herself or when she needs help. Same with her knowledge. You are hers for an eternity.”
“As long as she lives,” he said solemnly.
“Child, did you not explain the whole Black Knight deal to him? The whole long-life thing?”
Jordan’s frown deepened as his gaze alternated between us. He hadn’t removed his arm from around my shoulder, and I was too busy examining my manicure to answer. He tilted my face up to his. “What is he talking about?”
“I never considered the implications for him beyond the Circle,” I admitted. “In times of crisis, the High Council, or in our case the Circle, would live longer than usual lives to protect the Order. As the Black Knight, however, as long as I’m not killed, I’m kinda immortal. I guess that makes you immortal too.”
He let go and sat back. The color drained from his face, and his hands trembled. “Immortal? No. That’s not real. This has to be a dream.”
“So as long as neither of you is killed, you will live until the Oh-So-Silent-One decides otherwise. He hasn’t given up on me even though I have passed the mantle to Jasper. It wasn’t meant to be you. That was your fault, tying your soul to hers. Even if you never saw each other or spoke again, as long as the other is alive, you won’t age much beyond this point. You won’t lose strength, agility, or mental sharpness.”
“What about the others? Mikael?” he asked.
My mentor shook his head. “He will live an exceptionally long life. He will age slowly, much slower than the average person. He will be at his peak for decades. But he will grow old and die, as will the others.”
“I need to go,” said Jordan. “Is this why you brought me here?”
“Multiple situations will unfurl quickly. She will be pulled in many directions, stretched thin, to a breaking point. She needs her friends, yes. But she needs her beast to stay and fight at her side. You know that.”
“I would have been by her side, regardless. I didn’t need all of this. You want me to learn magic, do weird shit, and live forever. This is too much. Send me home. Please.”
I touched Jordan’s shaking hand. “I’m sorry. I should have told you what I know sooner. I didn’t know how to bring it up. Or when. Or what to say. I can’t wrap my mind around it.”
“You must protect them, Jordan. Jasper is your primary charge, your raison d’être if you will. But you must keep the Circle safe. All of them. Even him.”
Jordan snapped out of his stupor and scowled. “Really? After everything?”
“Yes.”
I couldn’t lie. They’d lost me. I wasn’t meant to be part of the conversation, so I didn’t butt in, but damn, I wanted to ask questions. Who was he? Why did Jordan react so strongly? And whoa, I thought my burden was significant. He had to protect my ass and the derrières of the rest of the Circle. Poor guy got way more than he’d bargained for when he’d saved my life.
Jordan let out a weary sigh. “Fine. Can I get some sleep now? If you don’t mind, that is. I need to process this before we move on to the next round of hell that tomorrow will bring.”
“That’s optimistic,” I sassed. “I have to believe that something good will come from Nick’s work today. We’ll get closer to crazy Carlo and figure out how to take him down. I don’t know how we do that, but we will. We always do.”
He shot an annoyed look at Ashor. “You’re saying I have to put up with this naivety forever?”
Ashor barked out a laugh. “Unless you separate permanently. Yes, you will meet in your dreams. You will continue to have that sense of each other. But you do not have to speak or remain within a certain proximity. Just don’t die.”
“Good rule,” I said, rolling my eyes. “Can we get back to the topic at hand? The magic? Defeating Carlo? Getting me a new job?”
“Always about you,” he chuckled, his chains jingling on his hairy chest. “Practice defensive and offensive magic with the wise one and his mini-me. You will find the way to defeat Carlo. At some point. Maybe. You are stuck with the job until you decide otherwise. That is a human decision for you to make. Better?”
“No, but that’s the best I’m getting tonight, isn’t it?”
“Yes. This visit wasn’t for you, child. Now, get rest. Your beast here will need reassurance in the morning.”
With a dramatic poof of air, Ashor disappeared.
“Ooh, I hate when he does that.”
Next to me, the seat was empty. Jordan was gone.
“Dammit! I want to sleep, too! Come on, Ashor!”
I yawned, and everything went black.
✽ ✽ ✽
My phone blared and ripped me out of the blissful silence of sleep. I ignored it and put my head under the pillow. Only I’d stuck my phone under said pillow before falling asleep the night before. I stared at the image of Nick’s face on my
screen and debated whether to pick up his call.
“’Lo,” I said around a yawn.
“Morning, sunshine,” said Nicholas.
“Timizit?”
“It’s time for the gym. It’s two in the morning for me. I couldn’t sleep. I’ve been a real jerk, haven’t I?”
Did he want me to answer that before I had the benefit of caffeine and a filter between my brain and mouth?
“I, uh, it’s super early. What’s this about?”
“Someone pointed out how I’ve been making you look bad by doing my thing and going against orders. I may not love your job, and I still think you should quit, but I never wanted to hurt your reputation. I’m sorry.”
I sat up and rubbed my eyes as I tried to process what he’d just said. That sounded like a sincere apology, one that I’d been craving for weeks, months, even. “I don’t know what to say.”
“Just listen. I’d hate it if you came to my job and refused to listen no matter what the results. I can do a better job of asserting myself without going crazy. I was being treated like a kid, and it pissed me off. I may not be an assassin, but I’ve had training. I have good instincts, and I’m good on my feet. All I wanted was for someone, you, to acknowledge that. Still, you put yourself on the line to vouch for me.”
“The rules are there for a reason,” I said. “We may move slower than you’d like, but we’re trying to keep everyone alive. We’re also trying to stay off the radar of law enforcement. What we’re doing is very, very illegal, no matter how right we are. No matter who tells you do something, listen. It’s my butt on the line.”
“I know, and I promise I’ll make it up to you.”
A thought nagged at me. “Why are you awake? You don’t sound like yourself. You sound jittery.”
“I can’t fall asleep. I’m so alert and talkative. I’ve talked to the team about things all night. Open and honest stuff, the kind you don’t reveal until you get to know someone. Real deep.”
I groaned. “They might have drugged you. Do you have any idea how open and honest you were with Brett’s friends?”
“Shit. Do you think I’m drugged?”
The Black Knights Page 21