“Four minutes out. Call the ER.”
Dan adjusted his hold on the compression bandages. Ethan bit back a command.
“We’ve got a twenty-six-year-old female,” the medic’s voice droned. “Involved in a multi-vehicle crash. Belted. Possible arterial bleeding. Two large bore IVs.”
As he listed Sam’s vitals, Ethan cupped the side of her head, being careful not to touch the cervical collar. Her lashes were dusky against the alabaster of her skin.
“Come on, Sam,” Ethan whispered. “You’re strong. You have to hold on. For our baby.”
Her eyelid twitched.
“Don’t quit on us. Please, Sam. For me.”
Ethan repeated his words. Over and over. Until it was a mantra.
“BP holding steady.”
“We’re here.”
Controlled shouts. Wheels rumbling on pavement, then the clatter and swoosh as the gurney rolled through the sliding doors and into the ER.
The medics repeated Sam’s vitals once again as they handed her over. Dan gripped Ethan’s shoulder and shot him a sympathetic glance.
“Thank you. Both of you.”
Ellie and Dan nodded as Ethan turned and pursued the disappearing Sam.
“Dr. Ethan Cordero, right?” A short, blond doctor grabbed Ethan’s sleeve as they stalked down the corridor together.
Ethan grunted.
“I’m Joel Roemer. You were first on the scene?”
“I was.” Ethan rattled off Sam’s vitals and the known extent of her injuries. “We had to move her before the leg wound was stabilized. The femoral artery may be perforated.”
“Got it. We’re prepping O.R. One.”
“There’s trauma to the left lateral cranium. She’s been unconscious and unresponsive for all but a minute since the accident.”
Joel bowed his head and entered Sam’s room. Ethan slowed and stopped. He’d gotten Sam this far, now he’d have to trust the team to save her. He fought the urge to wade into the thick of things. No one needed an extra doctor taking up space or shouting conflicting instructions.
He’d saved her from the car fire, and now he could only pray that he’d done enough. Ethan leaned against the wall and closed his ears to sounds of the Emergency Room.
Minutes later, Sam was wheeled out with Joel Roemer following.
“CT scan and then O. R. One. Dr. Sterling is on her way. We lucked out that one of our vascular surgeons is on-site.”
Ethan strode down the corridors. First a left, then a right, and a final left. He prayed under his breath that Sam was merely concussed and didn’t have any intracranial hemorrhaging or subdural hematomas. Her leg was bad enough.
He unclenched his fists and focused his breath. He’d do the surgery if necessary. He couldn’t lose her.
A lean and willowy dark-haired woman approached. Ethan shot Dr. Heather Sterling a tight smile.
“Ethan? I didn’t know you’d be joining me.”
“Not exactly.”
“Is she one of your patients?” Dr. Heather Sterling asked.
“I was first on the scene of the accident.” He hesitated. “Samantha Barrett is my future wife, and she’s nine weeks pregnant.” He almost laughed. Lightness filled his lungs. It was liberating to admit his feelings and his relationship. He prayed that the future wife part was truthful.
Heather’s eyes widened, and she placed a hand on his arm. “That changes things. I’m so sorry that she’s injured. You’d be better off not watching.”
Ethan grunted. “I’ll scrub in.”
“No way. You’re not in my surgery. You stay on the other side of the glass. Observation only. If you must.” Heather squeezed his arm with sympathy. “Trust us to do a good job.” She pushed through the O. R. door to scrub in.
Ethan swayed, and his knees threatened to buckle. He pressed his shoulders into the wall as if the bricks and sticks of the building would lend him support.
There was no way fate could be this cruel to him. No one should have to suffer through two car crashes taking loved ones. He said a silent prayer. He couldn’t fail twice. At least he’d gotten Sam this far. She had a chance.
Ethan straightened and stalked to the observation window as if his willpower alone would lend strength and skill to the surgery team.
CHAPTER TWENTY-TWO
WITH A SQUEAK, Ethan filled in the last letter on the Sunday crossword puzzle as Mateo bent over his geometry homework. Warm sunlight shone through the windows and danced on the dining room table. He flipped over the newsprint and eyed the Sudoku grid. He pushed it away.
Mateo met his eyes and made a face. “Will homework never end?”
“Never. Whether it’s bills or a new method to research, learning never ceases.”
“I’m ready to dig ditches for a living.” Mateo flipped his mechanical pencil into the fold of his textbook.
“You’d get bored, but if that’s what you want, just be the best ditch digger out there.”
“That’s Pipo’s line.”
“I learned from the best.”
Mateo picked up his pencil and twirled it in his fingers. He studied Ethan and then looked out the window. “Have you checked on Sam today?”
“She’s improving. She woke up last night, and she was moved out of intensive care. She’s in stable condition.”
“Is she going to be okay?” Mateo pushed, and a hint of pink tinged his cheeks.
“The surgery was perfect, and she should make a full recovery. She may need some therapy to help strengthen her leg muscles.”
“And the baby?”
Guilt hit Ethan in the gut. Of course Mateo would want to know. “The baby’s heartbeat is strong, and there’s been no signs of trauma or bleeding.”
“I like Sam a lot,” Mateo said. “I’d be happy with a kid brother or sister.”
“You don’t mind? Sam and I weren’t planning on any of this.”
“It’s pretty quiet around here. We could use some livening up. Sam and a baby could be pretty cool.”
Ethan laughed and hugged Mateo. “You surprise me.”
“Do you think we’ll be a family again?”
“Aren’t the two of us a family.”
“We are, but you know what I mean. I miss Mom. Well, like it was with Mom when we lived back East.”
Ethan didn’t disillusion his son. Felicia had been good at covering up her problems at that point, but all the cracks had begun to show to him, even when Mateo was a toddler.
“Dad?” Mateo cleared his throat. “Why do you think Mom was so unhappy?”
“I don’t think either one of us can ever truly know what made her tick. We can guess. We can speculate, but in the end, I don’t think even she knew why she behaved like she did.”
“You said that she drank and did the other stuff to hide from her hurt?”
“I don’t know if the life that she dreamed about was unfulfilling, or if she wasn’t brave enough to make the changes necessary to create the life she wanted.”
“How come we weren’t enough for her?”
“It’s complicated.”
Mateo rolled his eyes. “Adults always say that.”
“Maybe that’s our way of saying that we don’t know how to make sense of it either.”
“You don’t have all the answers when you’re a grown-up?”
“I’m afraid not. The questions keep getting harder, and the stakes keep going up.”
“That sucks.”
“Yeah, it does kind of.” Ethan pulled to the edge of the couch and met his son’s dark gaze. His nose and forehead were the spitting image of his Pipo’s, but those deep brown eyes were Felicia’s. He owed Mateo. He owed Felicia’s son an explanation. “Here’s what I’ve got.”
“Don’t hold back, Dad. I’m practically an adult. I’ll handle it.”
Mateo was right. He was well on his way to maturity. If he chose to hold back key information, Mateo might never get any of this straight in his brain, in his heart. He wasn’t that carefree eight-yea
r-old who only thought of baseball and Legos. Mateo had lived through his mother’s drug-induced rampages and tempers. He’d seen her throw dishes at his father that had exploded into a thousand fractured shards. Mateo had held his mother’s hand as she’d left this world in a pool of her own blood, of her own making.
“This is my understanding of why your mother did the things she did. Pipo has his own opinion, and your mother’s parents see it very differently. It will be up to you to figure out your truth.”
“There’s always more than one side to a story, right?”
“Exactly.”
“The one thing that you must know for sure is that none of this is your fault. There are no multiple sides of the story for that one. Got it?”
Mateo grinned. “I promise. No matter what you say, I know that none of this is my responsibility.”
“Good. Don’t ever forget that.”
“Why did Mom have to die? It’s so unfair. I hate that she’s gone. For the most part. I don’t miss some parts though. She used to get so mad.”
“That’s hard to admit, isn’t it? Once upon a time, I loved her a lot, too. But she made it hard to love her all the time.” Ethan hunched his shoulders. “All of us have our moments.” He had hidden from her, from his family when he buried himself at the hospital. He’d put his heart into saving other people’s families. Not his own.
Ethan shifted against the sofa cushion, recrossed his legs, and uncrossed them. “She was a beautiful woman, your mother. She had a crazy, wild spark of life that made you want to go out and dance and sing. Or climb a mountain or jump from the top of a waterfall into the pool far below.”
“Did you do those things?”
“We did. All of them.”
“We used to run into the wind and jump and pretend that we could fly.”
“I loved that life spark in her. Her joy. But she had another side. Her parents are very traditional and have set notions about how a woman should behave, and what she is allowed to do. To become.”
“Like she should stay at home. Just be a mom. I’ve heard Grandpa say that.”
“She had every right to live her life the way she wanted, as long as she wasn’t hurting anyone. But, I don’t think she could figure out what she wanted. She loved being home with you, but she wanted other things, too.”
“I wasn’t enough?”
“Yes and no. This is the complicated part. Think about how much you love Grandma and Grandpa. You want them to live close to us, but you know they need to live in Florida where Grandpa has a new job, and it’s near his elderly mother.”
“He doesn’t love me less, but he knows that you’re here to take care of me.”
“That’s true. That’s a part of it. Your mother adored you, and she wanted other things, too. She tried lots of things to express her creativity, but none of them were quite right. She got frustrated. I think she wanted to blame other people for her unhappiness.”
Mateo tucked his legs up on the chair and propped up his chin with his fist with his elbow on the arm of the chair. “Like when I got mad at you for sending me to my room when I was the one who hit Jed Nicholson.”
“Yup. That’s emotion and the behavior.”
“So, she drank too much.”
“That was one of the ways that she hid from her pain.”
Mateo squirmed and twisted his hands in his lap. “Did you know that she used to invite people over to the house when you were working?”
“I’m pretty sure that I know about some of them. But why don’t you tell me. Don’t worry. You’re not being disloyal. You won’t hurt my feelings any more than they already are.”
“Before you left when you’d work the night shift or get called into a late surgery, she’d have a friend come visit. A guy friend.”
“I know. I’m sorry that you know, too.”
“She was cheating on you.”
“She was awfully unhappy.”
“Is that why you two got divorced?”
“It was the final thing that pushed us too far apart. I couldn’t trust her anymore. And I didn’t know how.”
“Do you forgive her?”
“That’s a good question. The most truthful answer is that I’m learning to forgive her. I’m learning to forgive myself, too.”
“How were you to blame? I know she always said it was all your fault. But is that true?”
“I wasn’t always there for you two. I buried myself in my work. I hated to lose any patients. Each time one of those kids didn’t make it, I tried harder. I worked longer hours. I hid in the hospital. I couldn’t accept that sometimes things are beyond anyone’s control.”
“That’s what Pipo says. Lots of things are beyond our control, but how we react is completely up to each of us.”
Ethan rubbed the back of his neck. “That’s profound.”
“Like I can mope and run away from those crappy kids at school, or I can hold my head high. And just be myself. What they think doesn’t matter.”
“You’ve become awfully wise.”
“Have I?” Mateo smiled, but his brow furrowed. “I owe a lot to Sam. She looked out for me. I was really lonely when we first moved here, but going on walks with her and Copper made me feel like someone liked me.”
“She’s a kind and loving person.”
“I like her a lot.”
“Meaning?”
“Are you guys going to get married?”
“What would you think about that?”
“I’d like to have a baby sister or brother.”
“Are you tired of being an only child?”
“I’m a lot older, but I like the idea of a baby sister to protect.”
Ethan hugged Mateo. “You’ve got a big heart.”
“I think you should ask Sam to join our family.”
Ethan’s jaw dropped. He loved the way his son had phrased that. “You make me proud. Every day in every way. You’ve grown into an amazing man.”
Mateo ducked his head but then grinned. “You’re avoiding my question. Are you going to ask Sam to marry you?”
“What if she says no? She’s already turned me down once.”
A myriad of emotions played across Mateo’s face. “I think things might be different now.”
Maybe it was different now. He’d changed, but did he love Sam in the way that she needed? Was he enough? Could she forgive him?
***
“Are they springing you out of here today?” Jami said.
“They think tomorrow should be my lucky day,” Sam replied. “I have to go twenty-four hours without a fever which should be early tomorrow morning.”
“I’ve got a flexible schedule, so keep me posted. I only have one showing planned for four in the afternoon, and I can easily switch the time or have someone else show them the property.”
“You’re a sweetheart.”
“I’d do pretty much anything for you and that sweet baby growing in that belly of yours. I can’t believe how close we came to losing you.” Jami hugged Sam and plunked down on the cushioned bench at the side of the room.
Sam stroked the slight, extra curve of her tummy. “I think I’m getting my first cravings. I need an ice cream sundae in the worst way.”
“Hmmm. I wonder if it’s just that you’ve been subjected to hospital food for a week plus.”
“It’s not so bad. They make a respectable turkey and mashed potatoes, and the yogurt is always a good option.”
Jami kicked off her shoes and curled up on the couch. “Are you sure that the baby is doing fine? I saw a picture of your car on the evening news, and I can’t believe you survived that squished mess.”
Sam shuddered. She couldn’t even think about it. “As far as we know, baby is dandy. They’ve done ultrasounds, and some other scans that I can’t remember. The placenta is intact. There was no bleeding or spotting. And all of the bloodwork is perfect.”
Sam smiled and patted her belly. Her baby was safe, and that was all that mattered. She a
lmost blurted out a secret to Jami, but it was Ethan’s to know first. He deserved to be the first to know the sex of their child.
“Earth to Sam. Come back.” Jami waved her hand, and Sam blinked. “What are you thinking about?”
“Nothing,” Sam lied. “I’m counting the minutes until I can break out of here.” She could see by Jami’s pensive expression that she was spoiling to ask a question, but it was probably about Ethan, and she had no answers on that topic.
Not on any subject for that matter. She doubted that there was anything sure or steady in her life at the moment. Now, that was a pointless way of thinking. She had plenty to be grateful for. Ninety-nine percent of her family loved her. She had a healthy baby. And with a little physical therapy, she’d be walking without a cane in no time.
Indeed. She had much to be grateful for.
A pair of masculine shoes attached to pleated, black slacks appeared under the privacy curtain that shielded her and Jami from the casual glances of hospital visitors.
“Are you busy?”
Sam froze, and her breath locked up in her lungs. Somehow, she’d been sure that Ethan wouldn’t show up. She wasn’t his patient. He didn’t actually love her. He was just a family acquaintance. Who’d pulled her from a burning car and prevented her from bleeding out from a torn artery. She almost snorted at her foolishness.
Jami leaped into her shoes with a guilty grin as if it were a crime to be barefoot and looked to Sam for guidance.
With a grimace, Sam pointed at her hair and mouthed, “Is it okay?”
Jami nodded, and Sam sat up straighter in the bed and pulled the sheet higher. Perhaps she could tug it all the way over her head and hide.
“Come in.”
Ethan held a ridiculously large bouquet of multicolored balloons, and his smile illuminated the room. “These are from Mateo and the rest of your students. I promised that I’d bring them to you today.”
“That’s so sweet. I miss my kiddos.” Tears welled, and Sam grabbed a tissue from the box on the rolling overbed table.
“Mateo says that they need you back as soon as possible because the substitute doesn’t know how to smile and throws surprise quizzes all the time.”
“My poor kids. I hope I have a chance to say good-bye to them.”
Tempting Doctor Forever (Barrett Ridge Book 2) Page 14