by Traci Sek
"Good morning, children," Sarah exclaims. "Eat up; I made lots! Is everybody ready for their first day of school?"
"As ready as I'll ever be, I guess," I reply.
"Yep," Ryan replies with a full mouth.
No response from Kate. She pushes back her chair abruptly and walks out of the kitchen.
"She will be ok," I say, trying to convince myself and everyone else.
Ryan stares at the doorway after Kate, and Sarah nods while sipping her coffee. I walk outside, Kate’s sitting on the porch, her bag next to her with her hands folded under her chin, staring into space.
"We should get going, so we aren't late." Kate bobs her head, picks up her bag, and follows behind me. Ryan squeezes past us and jogs down the street, only stopping to do some crazy handshake with a friend.
"Kate..." I begin. "Do you still like Ryan?" There’s no easy way to ask. Kate looks at me for a moment then looks back at the ground.
"You can tell me. Don't be afraid."
Kate glances up towards Ryan and watches him for a moment then finally nods.
I can't help but smile.
"We can't be together, Jess, too much has happened. Sarah is letting us stay with her, and I can't ruin that for us!" she sighs.
"Have you guys talked since that night?"
"Yes. Ryan came to my room when you and Sarah went out, and we talked about everything.” Kate pauses a moment before exclaiming, “he kissed me..." she trails off, remembering every little detail. Her face lights up for a split second, but as quickly as it came, it vanishes.
"Oh, Jess, please don't tell Sarah. She was so cross with him the night of the accident."
"I won't, I promise! What happened after the kiss?" I ask in anticipation, and it’s all I can do not to rub my palms together in glee.
"We stared at each other for a few minutes, and then I cried. I told Ryan it wouldn't work and we can’t have any more secrets. He simply agreed and walked out on me! The worst part, Ryan hasn't looked at me since!” Kate sighs. “Jessa, it kills me. I want to kiss him so bad! I want to be with him so bad," she whimpers in agony, with furrowed brows and a sad little frown.
"So that's why you have been so miserable and quiet? All this time I thought you were still blaming yourself for Dad’s accident, and I thought you hated Ryan which is why you never look at him or talk to each other, things have been so awkward!"
Kate was silent.
"For the record, he looks at you… a lot" Kate’s eyes go wide for a moment.
"He does?" she whispers in excitement.
"Yeah, I caught him looking this morning after you were looking, and I put two and two together." I shrug.
She smiles genuinely for the first time in months and peeks in his direction.
"If it's meant to be, it will be." I nudge her playfully. "Just promise me you will be happy this year and open-minded because that's what Mom and Dad would want for you."
"I promise,” she declares with another smile.
We arrive in front of the school where Spencer is standing, and I run up to him and hug him. He’s right, just seeing the school again fills something inside of me that I can’t describe.
"Hey, babe. You look beautiful today." He pecks me gently on the lips.
"Thank you," I smile and hug him tighter.
"Hey, girl," Gia yells as she comes sprinting up the stairs.
"Hi!"
All around, people are buzzing with excitement and talking in groups. It feels good knowing we are ruling the school this year. We are finally, Seniors!
I spot Alex through the crowd with a bunch of skater dudes with their boards in hand. Alex, too, looks different even though I know next to nothing about him. Just then, a bright red Lamborghini pulls up in front of the school, making all the kids turn their heads.
There are plenty of rich kids at this school, but none this wealthy. I watch as the door opens up towards the sky, reminding me of a spaceship, and a tall, thin guy gets out of the flashy car. His blonde wavy hair stands out against his tanned skin, and he’s dressed in a t-shirt that says “welcome to Sydney” with khaki cargo shorts. He slowly gets out with his backpack in tow and pushes the door down, and the car takes off with a loud screech.
"Who the hell is that?" Gia asks with her hands resting on her hips.
"I don't know. I never saw him before. He must be a new student."
"Yeah. I guess we will find out," Spencer says, shaking his head, grabbing my hand a little tighter.
"Let's go." I know that tone. He’s aggravated and skeptical, and I can’t say I blame him. Something about the new guy rubs me the wrong way.
We walk into the big double doors as the first bell rings. The excitement is vibrating through my body. Gia and I are in many the same classes this year, which makes me feel better. However, I only have one class with Spencer, and, for some reason, that makes me feel vulnerable and alone. It doesn't surprise me, though; he’s in mostly advanced classes. My man was smart, and I am so proud of him.
We reluctantly part ways at our homeroom classes. Gia and I sit in the back this year like the cool Seniors we are. As we're talking, the teacher walks in, and the room goes silent for the morning announcements. As the announcements are playing, the blonde-haired new kid strides in the classroom: whispers and giggling ensue. I watch as he hands a paper to the teacher and then scans the room, finally landing on the seat in front of me. I suddenly feel uncomfortable.
"He's not bad looking, but he looks like trouble with a capital “T,” "Gia leans in and whispers in my ear.
He winks at me and slowly slides into the seat beside me. Great, I think and exchange looks with Gia while trying to pay attention.
After a few minutes, he turns around and introduces himself. "Hey, gals, the name’s Jeremy. I'm a new foreign exchange student," he says with an Australian accent complete with a boyish smile.
"Nice to meet you, Jeremy," Gia says. I merely nod —unimpressed— and look down at my schedule.
"I'm from Australia, In case you were wondering," Jeremy boasts as if proud of the fact.
"Good to know," I say sarcastically and roll my eyes. Jeremy is on my nerves already. Were we supposed to swoon over him? I think not; I have eyes for Spencer only.
"Ouch." He lets out a soft chuckle and holds a hand over his heart. “You wound me,” he says and turns back around.
The next couple of classes are disappointing and Jeremy’s in every single one of them. My mood goes from excited to annoyed quickly. In every class, he tries his best to sit next to me or in front of me, making me feel even more uncomfortable. To make matters worse, Julia, my arch enemy, is in my math class. Luckily, my next class is with Spencer and I can’t wait to see him!
Warnings
As predicted, Julia gives me a death stare for the entire class. She occasionally whispers over her shoulder to some girls that no doubt hate me only because I’m dating Spencer. As soon as the bell rings, I jump up, grab my stuff, and head out the door.
"Whoa," I suddenly scream as my books fly in the air. My hands reach out in front of me to cushion the blow from falling. Someone pushes me, and it isn't a gentle push. I look up only to see Julia and the popular girls laughing their fool heads off.
"Don't get in my way, Jessa," Julia sneers. "Consider this your only warning."
I give her a cold glare. My teeth are grinding together so hard they may break. It takes all my energy not to respond. Instead, I start scrambling for my books.
"Let me help you with those," Jeremy says as he reaches down to help.
"No, thank you. I got it!"
He continues to help me anyway, ignoring my request.
"What's up with those girls? Why are they so nasty to you?" Jeremy asks in his accent.
"Long story," I utter.
I grab my last book from him and turn around to head to the next class.
"Hey, wait a minute," he runs up to me. "You don't like new people do you?"
"I never said that. I j
ust don't have time for cocky immature men."
"Oh, you think I'm cocky?"
"And creepy."
"Wow. I'm speechless, yet you intrigue me. No girl has ever said that to me before."
I sigh and stop walking. "Listen, what do you want?"
He puts his hands up in mock surrender. "I just wanted to start making friends. That's all. I'm new to the area as well, not just this school."
"So why me? You see, I don't want anything to do with you, and there are a thousand other girls at this school," I say while holding my hand out to prove my point.
"Well, you’re in almost all my classes, so I figured that was a sign."
"Well, you thought wrong! Now please leave me alone. I have a class to get to."
I turn around abruptly and walk into my next class: the only one I have with Spencer besides lunch, and I can't wait. Finally!
I spot Spencer sitting at the piano.
"Hey, babe," I say as I sit down next to him.
"Hey, beautiful. How's your day been so far?"
As he asks, Jeremy strolls through the door, and I cringe, placing my head down on the piano’s edge. “Terrible,” I mumble. Spencer puts his hand on my lower back.
"What's wrong?" His voice is stern, and his eyebrows creased. Ever since last year's drama with Eric, Spencer has become very protective, and then the whole situation with my dad amplified it, but I can’t complain.
"Nothing, he's in like every class of mine, and it's starting to annoy me. He's so cocky and thinks every girl will fall when he speaks." I roll my head to the side to face Spencer and give him a pouty look.
"Oh. Did he talk to you?" Spencer's arm tightens around my waist as he focuses on Jeremy.
"He tries, but I shut him down."
He grunts. "I'll take care of him."
I quickly grab his forearm and keep him sitting.
"It's ok; I think he got the hint. Don't worry." I give him a faint smile. Thankfully Spencer doesn’t move but makes no effort to avert his eyes away from Jeremy. I pull my head back up and scooch closer to Spencer, nudging his shoulder. He glances at me and then looks away as the teacher claps her hands to get everyone's attention.
The class goes by way too fast. The first day of music class and all we do is touch a few instruments to figure out which one we will be playing for the year. Spencer, of course, chooses the piano, but I prefer the violin.
My heart sinks when the bell finally rings, and I have to let go of Spencer. I’m not obsessed or anything. He’s my comfort and my rock, and the way this day was going, I was slowly sinking in the mud. But I know I have to stay strong.
"I love you." He kisses me gently on my lips and cups my cheek searching my eyes for what? I don't know.
"Let me know if he keeps bothering you. I'll fix it."
I nod and smile at him as he lets go reluctantly.
***
As I stand at the entrance to the cafeteria, I suddenly feel overwhelmed. The feeling I had been trying to fight all day hits me like a ton of bricks. Gone is the confidence I had earlier, replaced by that ugly monster: It fills my head with lies and regrets, anxiety, and fear that seems to paralyze me. My mind seems to be frozen in some arctic tundra, making my legs unable to move.
Memories start to flood my mind, and I feel the air sucked out of my lungs, and I try to gasp for air, but it’s no use. I feel a gentle hand touch my shoulder, making me jump.
"Are you ok, girl?" I let out a relieved breath as I stare at Gia, my saving grace. Gia looks at me with a worried look.
"I think so."
"Ok, come on, let's go sit at our old table." I hesitate for a minute but finally, give in.
"So, how's your day been?" Gia asks as we sit down.
"It's been quite eventful, to say the least."
"Is that why I just got a text from Spencer asking me to keep an eye on you?"
I faintly smile, shaking my head. Oh, Spencer. I proceed to tell her precisely what Julia did and about creepy Jeremy.
Gia's mouth hangs open.
"O...m...g that whore! How dare she, wait till I see her. I'll give her a piece of my mind."
I can't help but chuckle.
"Whoa, firecracker! Calm down, and she’s not worth it. But if she touches me again, then there will be consequences."
"And what about Jeremy?"
"What about him?"
"Do you think he will leave you alone?"
I shrug.
"He better because of the way Spencer was glaring at him today, he wouldn't survive an hour." Gia laughs.
"Did you tell him about Julia?"
"No, it didn't come up. He would have gone out and killed her on the spot. It's only the first day, and I don't want him getting suspended again."
Gia nods in agreement.
The rest of the school day goes by fast. I’ve made it through my first day of senior year, but I still have a long way to go. I walk out of the big double doors to the school, only to be greeted once again by Jeremy. Just my luck.
"So listen, I know you hate me and all, but I just want to apologize for making you think I'm such a cocky jerk."
I roll my eyes. "Ok, apology accepted." I scan the school grounds for Spencer.
He smiles. "I'm glad. Just give me a chance to show you who I really am."
"Is there a problem here?" A deep voice asks from behind me. I know who it is, and I sigh in relief. Spencer. I quickly turn around and wrap my arm around his waist.
"Hey, babe. Everything is fine."
He doesn't look at me but continues to glare at Jeremy.
"Hi. I'm Jeremy," he says and extends his hand to Spencer, who, in return, looks at Jeremy’s hand and looks at me.
"Are you ready to go home, baby?"
I smile and look at Jeremy. "Yeah, I am." I watch the smile slowly fade off Jeremy's face, and his hand drops down to his side. I feel a little bad for him but quickly shake the feeling away. Without another thought, we turn around and head home.
Rumors
The house feels weird when I arrive home. I say goodbye to Spencer and continue through the front door to find Sarah sitting at the dining room table. Her hands are resting on her head, and she is staring at papers scattered all around her.
"Hi," I quietly say.
"Hi Jess, how was your day?"
"It was ok. Are you ok?"
Sarah hesitates and then shakes her head. "It seems we are in a bit of a financial situation. I knew by taking you guys in; it would be hard. I never wanted to make you guys work, but it seems I don't have a choice. Your dad's insurance policy barely covered the funeral expenses, and since we are not married, the rest of it went back to the company."
Just hearing the words ‘my father’s funeral,’ makes my heart pound again. I struggle to stay tough— This is not the time to cry.
"You understand, right, Jessa?"
"I need to find a job."
"Yes or pretty soon we won't be able to live here anymore."
"It's ok. I understand. I don't want to go through another year of hardships. I don't mind getting a job. It might be a good distraction, maybe even help me get through this crazy time."
Sarah smiles. "Thank you, Jessa, for understanding."
I nod and continue to walk to my room. I quickly send a text to Spencer telling him the news. He says he will help me find a job and not to worry. I smile at that. How did I get so lucky to have a guy like him?
The next day I wake up and decide that I’m going to start job hunting after school. I don’t care where it is or what it is as long as we don’t have to move again. I sit in the same seat as yesterday next to Gia, who’s scrolling on her phone. Gia fills me in on updates from her parents and a new boy she has a crush on. I can't help but glance at the clock and the empty seat in front of me.
I can't stand the kid, Jeremy, but can't help feeling bad for how Spencer and I treated him yesterday.
"So all is coming together," Gia finishes with a satisfied sigh. I smile
at her.
"That's great. I'm glad you are happy again. I told you, you would be."
"Did you hear about the new kid?" someone whispers from behind me.
"No, what?" another girl whispers back. Intrigued, I turn in their direction. I can't help but eavesdrop. Gia has the same idea: her full attention is on the girls too.
"I heard from Rebecca that he's pretending to be from Australia to make everyone think he's got money when in reality, he's broke. He was evicted from some ghetto place in a different state."
"No way," the other girl gasps. "But what about that fancy car he pulled up in yesterday?"
"Nobody knows, but he probably got someone to give him a lift or something because he didn't show up in it today."
I look at the empty desk again. Why did I suddenly feel so terrible? If that’s the truth, then I’m an idiot. When did I become so cruel? Just last year, I was the new person trying to fit in. The bell rings, and I quickly turn around and face the teacher who begins to talk, but I tune it out with a million thoughts running through my head. Jeremy never shows up. Was he skipping class on the second day?
"Are you ok, girl?" Gia asks after class ends.
"Yeah, why do you ask?"
"You just seemed out of it a few minutes ago."
"Yeah, I'm just tired." I don't want Gia to think I have a crush on Jeremy while dating her best friend. I mean, I don't, and I don’t want anybody to get the wrong idea.
When I get to music class with Spencer, I’m still feeling terrible. Jeremy strolled into the rest of his classes late—every single one of them. Who does this kid think he is? I feel torn. On the one hand, he’s an asshole, and on the other, I feel bad about his home life. I can relate, kid.
"Hey, babe, you ok?" Spencer asks.
"No, actually, I’m not. Can we talk?" I ask.
"Of course, you know you can tell me anything. Is it about your dad?"
"No. It's about the new kid."
Spencer looks up quickly. "What did he do? I swear if he did any—"
"Spencer, calm down," I interrupt and laugh. I love him so much. "I heard a rumor about Jeremy this morning, and it bothered me."
His shoulders relax, and his attention is back on me. "What rumor?" he asks with a frown.