by Jodi Vaughn
And just like that, my anger was back.
* * *
The alarm on my phone jolted me awake. I’d taken the kids to school, but by the time I got home, I couldn’t stop yawning. After being up all night, what did I expect?
I laid down, hoping to catch a thirty-minute nap. I made sure to set my alarm so I wouldn’t oversleep. I still had a ton of things to do before I had to pick up the girls.
“Rachel, where are you?” Stephanie Miller’s voice spilled over the phone.
“I’m at home.” I turned and glanced at the clock on the bedside table.
“You’re late for coffee club,” Stephanie said. “Are you feeling okay?”
Stephanie was one of my neighbors and a friend. She wasn’t in our book club because she didn’t particularly like the kinds of books we read. She said there was too much sex and violence. And she didn’t drink, either. She was a good Southern Baptist girl through and through.
Stephanie had started coffee club about six months ago. She was a stay-at-home mom with one daughter, Mary Beth, who was in the same grade as Arianna. They used to be friends when they were little but had grown apart.. We were friends, but we weren’t what you would call close. She was nice enough and would give you the shirt off her back, but she always managed, without trying, to make me feel guilty that I wasn’t a good Christian.
“I’m fine, I just got busy,” I lied.
“You know, some of the neighbors say they haven’t seen you much. Is everything okay…?”
Her unsure tone ruffled my nerves. I didn’t need to draw any attention to myself or my situation. I was hoping that no one knew about Nikki and Miles. I hoped they’d been discreet and hadn’t flaunted their affair.
“I’m on my way. Be there in a little bit.” I ended the call and jumped out of bed.
I cringed at the sunlight spilling in around the curtains.
I ran to the bathroom, brushed my hair, and put on some lip gloss. I decided to change into black heels instead of wearing my ballet flats. If I had to go out of the house, I needed to try and look like everything was okay in my life.
I grabbed my purse and keys off the kitchen island and headed for the garage.
As I backed out and headed down the hill, I noticed the overcast sky. I squinted and slid my shades over my eyes as I pulled out onto the street. Within a few minutes, I was pulling into a parking spot at the city’s quaint coffee shop, Caffeine and Cookies coffee shop.
I slid out of the car and winced at the brightness. Though the sun was hidden behind dark clouds, the light still made me cringe.
My heels snapped smartly across the parking lot as I made my way into the coffee shop.
The scent of coffee beans and freshly baked pastries hit me as I stepped inside. I let out a sigh.
“Rachel.” Stephanie stood from her table and waved.
I smiled and held up a finger, indicating I would be right there after I got my order.
It was only a little after nine, and I’d already had coffee, but I knew I needed to get something to drink while I was here. I had to appear normal.
“Small coffee, please,” I said to Max the barista. I gazed longingly at the chocolate chip scones behind the glass counter and pressed my lips together.
“Hello, Mrs. Jones.” Max Rainer was a college student who worked the morning shift at Caffeine and Cookies before classes. His parents owned the local hardware store and went to my church.
“Hi, Max.” I gave him a friendly smile. My gaze drifted to his neck. I swallowed, wondering what his blood would taste like in my mouth.
He handed me the coffee, and I took a drink, trying to get my mind off Max’s neck.
I choked on the sweet coffee and started coughing.
“Mrs. Jones, are you okay? Was it too hot?” Max’s brows knit together in worry.
When I recovered, I shook my head. “No. It’s too sweet.”
“But I made it like you always ask. Cream and sugar.” He insisted.
“It’s not your fault, Max.” My gaze drifted back to his neck. “I’ve started taking my coffee black.”
“Oh. Here, let me make you another.” He took away the cup and started making me a new coffee.
“Thanks, Max. Sorry for the change.” I dug into my purse for my wallet and handed him my debit card. “And can I get a couple of those chocolate scones?”
“Sure thing.” His smile was back, and he looked relieved that I wasn’t mad about the coffee. Max was one of those people who seemed to want to please at all costs. I wanted to tell him that was a dangerous attitude to have, but it wasn’t my place, and I wasn’t his mother. Besides, I had to figure out how to get through this coffee club meeting without falling asleep.
I paid my bill and grabbed my plate of scones and coffee. As I made my way over to Stephanie, I stifled a yawn.
I stopped short when I reached the table. I frowned at the table near the large window, bathed in morning sun. I couldn’t make myself sit down.
“What’s wrong, Rachel?” Stephanie frowned.
“Why don’t we sit somewhere away from the window?” I felt another yawn coming on but managed to swallow it.
Stephanie frowned but stood.
I didn’t wait for her to pick a seat, just quickly sat down at a small corner table with only two chairs. It was near the bathroom but dark.
Stephanie sat and looped her purse on the back of her chair. She took a sip of her coffee and settled her gaze on me, assessing.
“Is it just us today?” I took a sip of my own coffee, hoping the caffeine would keep my yawning at bay. But I wasn’t sure anything could do that. I made a mental note to ask Khalan if there was anything I could do to stay awake and function in the daylight. I needed to figure out something before Saturday’s soccer game. Otherwise, I would be screwed.
“Yes, the other girls are still on spring break. I think they went on a cruise,” Stephanie said over the rim of her coffee cup. “I kind of figured that you and Miles would have taken the girls on vacation.”
I felt my face heat.
Stephanie was very involved with the church and her family. If you needed something, she was the first one there to help and never expected anything in return. But I couldn’t help but always feel like she was judging me. Like I wasn’t giving enough to the church or attending the right Bible studies. It was probably just my paranoia.
“We thought about it, but Gabby didn’t want to miss her soccer game. Plus, Miles is working so much, his schedule didn’t allow for it. We’ll probably make up for it with a couple of summer vacations.” I stuffed a big bite of scone into my mouth. It melted like ash on my tongue. Apparently I had lost my taste for sweet treats.
“That good, huh?” Stephanie chuckled.
I smiled. “You should get one.”
“Oh, no.” She shook her head. She wrapped her hands around her coffee cup and gave me a serious look. “I’m doing a junk food fast. I’ve not had anything with sugar in over two weeks.” She smiled at me with bright, shining eyes. “I can’t tell you how wonderful I feel not to have all that junk in my system.”
I put down the tasteless scone.
“Wow, that’s great.” I picked up my black coffee and took a drink.
“You know sugar is the most abused drug there is.”
“Drug?” I arched my brow.
“They’ve done studies that show that sugar is as addictive as cocaine. Yet people shove it down their throats without a care. Our body is God’s temple, and we shouldn’t abuse it.” She nodded thoughtfully and took another sip of her coffee.
“Really?”
“Oh, yes,” she said. “Science has backed it up.”
I was suddenly very tired. I tried to listen to Stephanie as she continued to spout volumes of information at me, but frankly, I didn’t care.
I always prided myself on having wonderful manners and being polite. Being born in the South, hospitality was steeped into our blood at birth. It was a badge we carried with
pride.
But now, I couldn’t care less about science, sugar, and statistics.
I looked at Stephanie as she spoke. She was an attractive woman in her early thirties. She refused to do Botox like the rest of the housewives. Instead, she insisted that women were supposed to age gracefully and that altering one’s looks went against the Bible.
Her stylish black hair was always perfectly done in waves around her face. Her clear, and brown eyes were warm and inviting, but I couldn’t help but feel like she was looking deep down into my soul where I kept my most private secrets.
She waved her hands as she spoke, clearly excited about the topic of detoxing from sugar and all its benefits.
My gaze lit on her neck and, all of a sudden, my mouth watered for a different reason.
The vein in her throat jumped with each beat of her heart. The more excited she got, the faster her pulse thumped against the soft flesh.
“Rachel, are you okay? You look kind of dazed.” Stephanie leaned forward.
I swallowed and sat back in my chair. “Yeah, I’m fine. Just tired.”
“That’s what I heard.” She nodded her head and looked down at her coffee.
My gut twisted, and the breath left my lungs.
“Heard what?” I placed my hands on the table and looked at her.
“I ran into Veronica in the grocery store.” Stephanie shrugged and took another sip of her coffee before looking at me.
“What did Veronica say?” I narrowed my eyes. I didn’t care if it was polite or not, I needed to know what kind of garbage Veronica was spewing.
“That she saw you in the car and you were so sick that you had to bundle up in a blanket to keep warm. She said that you were not looking like yourself.” Stephanie’s gaze slid across my face and then back up to my eyes.
“I see you have lost some weight, and you’re paler than usual.”
“I had a stomach bug.” I shrugged and relaxed back in my seat. “I lost some weight from that. As far as Veronica seeing me bundled up in a blanket, that was not a blanket, it was a fur that Miles gave me years ago. And it was right after the snowstorm and still cold outside.”
Stephanie’s brow creased, and she looked at me. “But Veronica made it sound like you were on your deathbed. Like something was really wrong. Like you had cancer or something.”
“Are you freaking kidding me?” Anger flashed through my veins.
Her eyes grew wide at my outburst.
“Sorry, Stephanie. But Veronica is a ruthless gossip. She will take the truth and twist it. She talks about everyone. She’s vicious. If I were you, I would stay away from her.”
“But she always brings donuts for Sunday school. And she’s the first one to volunteer for the church bake sale.” She shook her head, disbelieving. I knew that Veronica had her fooled.
“I’m sure she has an ulterior motive. She’s not a good person. Trust me.”
“I don’t know. She seems very genuine to me.” Stephanie shook her head.
I knew this was an argument I wouldn’t win.
“I don’t think she was gossiping about you. I think she was concerned.” Stephanie nodded as if she had made up her mind about Veronica’s character.
“Well, will you do me a favor?”
“Of course.” Her face brightened.
“Don’t bring up my name to that woman.”
“You know our conversations are always confidential. I hope you know that I would never speak ill of you, Rachel.” Her brow creased, and she looked like she was worried.
“I know.” I nodded. “You are one of the best people I know.”
A smile graced her lips, and she nodded.
And Veronica was one of the worst.
Chapter 20
I went straight home after having coffee with Stephanie. I barely made it into the house before my cell phone rang.
“Hello?” I stumbled towards the guest bedroom, praying it wasn’t an urgent call. All I wanted to do was go to sleep.
“Rachel.”
I stopped at the sound of Nikki’s voice. My stomach dropped, and I couldn’t breathe. I stumbled and grabbed the wall for balance.
“Rachel, I really need to talk to you.” Her voice was soft and pleading.
“I just wanted to tell you I’m sorry. I never meant to hurt you. You’re my best friend…”
It dawned on me that I had never really known her at all.
“You bitch.” The words slid out of my mouth like acid, hurting and burning and inflicting pain.
“You don’t get to clear your conscience with one fucking phone call.” I fisted my hands at my sides, wishing Nikki were in front of me so I could hit her until she begged for mercy.
“I never intended to hurt you. Neither did Miles.”
“Miles is my husband. What part of fucking my husband was not a deliberate attack on me?” Red flashed before my eyes, coloring my surroundings.
“It started out as a friendship. He understood me on a level that Brad never has.” She blew out a breath. “I’m sorry. I just want you to see my side of the situation.”
I gripped the cell phone so hard in my hand that it squeaked under the pressure. “Let me tell you something, Nikki. If I ever fucking see you out in public, I will rain down all manner of hell on you. You don’t go to the same events. You don’t go to the same church. And you sure as fuck don’t breathe the same air that I breathe.”
“Rachel…”
“Let me make myself perfectly clear.” Fueled by the rapid growth of my anger, my heart was beating so fast, I feared it would burst out of my chest. “I don’t ever want to see you again. Under any circumstance.”
“But we live in the same town. We’re bound to run into each other,” she protested.
“If you ever see me in the grocery store, your ass better run the fuck out. If you see me, that’s your cue to run in the other direction. And, if I ever discover you calling, contacting, or texting my husband again, I will fucking kill you. Are we clear? Do you understand, bitch?”
The line went quiet, and I thought she’d hung up.
“I understand,” she said quietly.
“Good, then there’s no reason for you to ever contact me again. I was a good friend to you, a best friend to you for a lot of years. And you fucked my husband to repay me. You are now dead to me.” I ended the call before she could say another word.
I had never hated someone as much as I hated Nikki. Betrayal was something I didn’t get over quickly, and I knew that I had a long road with Miles. Friendships were sacred. Nikki had taken ours and abused my trust and faith as if they meant nothing.
My best friend was dead to me.
* * *
I slept the rest of the day in the guest bedroom. I wanted to stay awake and be angry at Nikki for having the balls to call me, but I was too tired. By the time I pulled back the comforter, I fell face-first into the bed and slept like the dead.
I wouldn’t have heard the alarm on my phone if I hadn’t stuck it under my cheek.
I forced my eyes open and dug out the cell. I cracked one eye open and sighed. My alarm blared on.
I swung my legs over the side of the mattress and stood, looking longingly at the unmade bed, wishing I could just crawl back under the covers where it was dark, safe, and peaceful.
But I didn’t have that luxury.
I hurried to the bathroom where I brushed my teeth and ran a brush through my hair. My shirt was wrinkled from sleeping in it, but I didn’t care. I was just going to wait in the carpool line to pick up the girls. No one would see what I had on or what I looked like.
I shoved my feet into my fuzzy house shoes and grabbed my purse. I stuck my large sunglasses on my face and headed out the door.
I made it to the school just as the kids started pouring out of the building like ants. I crossed my arms and watched for my girls. I usually liked them to linger so I could have my daily call with Nikki. Now, I wondered if she’d ever been my friend or if she had just used
me to get closer to Miles.
“Fuck.” I slammed my hand on the steering wheel as the sting of betrayal clawed across my heart.
“Rachel, you okay?” Liz tapped on my window.
I felt the blood rise in my face, and I quickly pasted on a fake smile. I rolled down my window.
“Liz, hey girl. I didn’t see you.” I was careful to keep my arms and face out of the sunlight.
“Everything okay? Thought I saw you hit your steering wheel.” Liz’s brow creased as she attempted to study my expression behind my sunglasses.
“I saw a spider,” I said quickly and gave a fake shiver for emphasis.
“Yuck. I would have freaked out.” Liz shivered. “Just wanted to let you know that a certain someone just stopped by my car with some interesting information.”
“Let me guess, Veronica.” I gritted my teeth.
“Yep. And guess what she said to me.” Liz narrowed her eyes and leaned in close.
“No idea. For someone with so much time on her hands, she really needs to get a job.”
“She needs to stay the hell out of everyone’s business. Do you know she had the audacity to tell me to my face that she’d heard through the grapevine that Michael was being unfaithful?” Liz tightened her grip on the door of my car, and her eyes flashed with anger.
“She what?” Holy shit. To tell Liz that her husband was cheating on her was bold, even for Veronica.
“Yep. She patted my hand and told me she was my friend and felt that I needed to know.” Liz’s fingers were turning white where she gripped my door. I could feel the anger pouring off her in waves.
“When I questioned why the hell she would say such a thing, she said she saw him at the coffee shop talking to a woman. She said it was way too early for him to be going to the office.” Liz pressed her lips into a thin, white line. “I told her Michael was headed out of town for a business trip and stopped by the coffee shop on his way to the airport.”
“That woman is pure evil.” I patted Liz’s hand and shook my head. “Look, I wouldn’t believe a word out of her mouth.”
“I don’t, Rachel. But you know how she is. She’ll go share her theory with everyone she knows. Look how she talks about her best friend. She tells everyone she meets that her best friend, Helen Warren is bipolar and cuts herself. I mean, Jesus, the woman doesn’t have an ounce of loyalty in her body.”