“So, party at my place Friday, invite everyone. Beaumont is still in California.”
Turning away from them, I’m sure it’s rude, but I do it anyway and I walk into the barn and saddle up Starlight. Climbing up, I ride her far away from it all. I need to herd the cattle toward water anyway. Mostly, I need air and space to just breathe.
Chapter Twenty-Nine
FORD
The three trucks barreling down my lane honk their horns as they swerve to miss the potholes that I’ve never bothered to repair. I’m sure their alignments are completely fucked by the time they stop in front of the farmhouse.
“We’re here,” Channing calls out.
I watch as the women jump out of the trucks, then go back to the babies in their car seats. I see his flash of blond hair and brace myself as Reese sprints toward me. Reaching down, I scoop him up in my arms, spinning him around with a chuckle.
“You stock the pond for me, Unca Ford?” he asks.
“Got your gear all ready to go.” I laugh softly.
“Guess we’re goin’ fishin’,” Rylan calls out.
“After we eat?” I ask, shifting my gaze to Reese.
He tilts his head to the side, contemplating as if he has a choice. “Okay, that should be just enough time that they’re hungry for dinner too, right?”
Smiling, I nod my head. “Yeah.”
He wriggles in my arms and I let him down. He runs off to see Starlight in the barn, in plain view of us, as I greet the rest of the group. I hug all the women, tickle the babies, then shake my friends’ hands.
What I don’t do is mention Stephanie, at all. I need one night where she isn’t the only thing that I think about until I drink myself into a stupor and pass out. Tonight is about friendship, food and maybe a date.
“Let’s eat out back at the picnic table, is it clean?” Exeter asks, calling out from the kitchen.
I look back from the grill to the picnic table and cringe. “Sure,” I lie.
Louis, Rylan, and Wyatt chuckle as they start to help me clear it off. I call out to Reese to bring the water hose, because the amount of dirt and dust on this fucker is not going to come off with any kind of cleaning spray and paper towels.
It’s a joint effort that doesn’t take long. By the time the girls start bringing the food out and the meat is finished, it looks like a whole new back patio. Everyone sets the food out on the table. The plates are stacked at the end, we all grab a plate, then pile the food high before we sit down.
Reese wiggles at his seat, his gaze focused on the fishing pond, too excited to try to reel in a big one. Conversation flows freely, and once again, I just listen, not having much to add. Don’t have kids, don’t have a wife, don’t have co-workers.
It’s just me and while I like it being just me, I always kind of forget, not being reminded how much I’m really missing until I see what I could have in front of me like this.
After the food is consumed, we all lean back and continue to talk while Rylan, Wyatt, and Louis take Reese out to the pond, ditching me with the women.
I’m kind of pissed that it’s not me, because I can feel the mood shift as soon as the little ears are gone and away.
“What happened in LA, Ford?” Tulip hints.
Shaking my head, I lift my gaze to meet hers. “Doesn’t matter. You got a friend for me?” I ask, getting straight to the point.
I’m sure she doesn’t like that, but I don’t really care. I need this to move the fuck on, or at least to try.
“Ford,” Exeter whispers.
Closing my eyes, I open them and look at the three women that I love like sisters. They care, it’s obvious by the concerned look in their eyes. It’s just that I’m really fucking tired. I want what they have, even if I have to fake some of it until the day that I die, that’s fine, I can do that.
I will do that.
“We have someone. How about next weekend? Dinner in Marble Falls, at that cute little Italian place right on the highway?”
My eyes widen in surprise at Channing’s declaration. “You do?” I ask.
She nods. “I do. She’ll meet you there at seven. I’ll do a reservation so that you don’t have to try to guess who is who, okay?”
Narrowing my eyes on her, I wonder what the fuck is going on here. My gaze flicks between the women and I know without a doubt that they are scheming.
“She isn’t butt ugly, is she? This isn’t some way to fuck with me, is it?” I ask.
“Ford Matthews, how dare you accuse us of something like that,” Channing says with a gasp, attempting to sound offended.
I grunt, leaning back in my seat. “How dare I, huh? Y’all three get together and if you’ve been in talks with Hutton and her crazy friend Laurie, I have no idea what you’d all get up to. So, I’m not accusing you, but I’m also not blindly trusting y’all.”
“We already know about you and Laurie, trust me, she is not in any conversations about your love life,” Tulip points out.
My lips twitch into a grin thinking about Laurie. Smoking fucking hot Laurie, but she didn’t like the same shit that I did in bed, not that I would have wanted to date her long term anyway. She’s a little too wild for me, she found her match in Beaumont’s bandmate though and I’m truly happy for them.
“Stop thinking about sex with Laurie,” Exeter snaps.
“I can’t.” I chuckle.
“You have a date to get ready for,” Channing points out.
“Can I at least see a picture, Facebook profile, something?”
All three women press their lips together and shake their heads. Narrowing my eyes on them, I know without a doubt that they’re hiding something from me. They also aren’t going to tell me a fucking thing. Great. She’s probably ugly as fuck.
“Fine. If she gets ditched because I see her and don’t like what I see, that’s on you,” I snap.
“Don’t be superficial,” Tulip grunts.
I shrug a shoulder. “Sorry, honey. If I’m going to spend the rest of my life with someone, I need to at least be attracted to them.”
“You will be,” Channing promises.
Licking my lips, I shake my head, enjoying fucking with them. They’re way too easy. “Let’s get this place cleaned up,” Exeter sighs, refusing to continue the banter any longer.
“You girls do enough, I’ll clean it up. If you just help me take it in and put it all in the sink?”
“It’s too much, Ford,” Channing says, her brows snapping together in a frown as she looks around the table.
Shaking my head, I reach for a piece of buttered bread, popping it into my mouth. “Nope. I don’t sleep much anyway, gives me somethin’ to do.”
Without another word, I stand and turn away from them, making my way over to the men. They’re chatting, helping Reese fish and I spend the rest of the evening with my friends, no longer talking about women at all, and I find that it’s refreshing as fuck.
I never thought I would ever imagine actually being a little tired of the opposite sex—but I am.
STEPHANIE
“It’s exactly the way I imagined it,” Damion breathes next to me from the passenger seat.
“How’s that?” I laugh as I pull up to the grocery store for supplies.
I glance around for Ford’s truck, the new and the old one. I feel like I’m on some kind of covert mission. I don’t want him to see me, to know I’m here, not yet at least. Not until tomorrow night.
“Small, dusty, full of jeans and t-shirts, and just plain small.”
“That pretty much sums up Gallup in a nutshell.”
Damion laughs, his phone going off in his hand. I watch as he silences it. “Who is it?”
“The rest of your team, pissed off at your agreement and announcement today.”
I hum, knowing that they’ve been blowing up my phone too, but I turned it off when we boarded the plane and never turned it back on again.
“Grace is angry,” I whisper. “Along with everyone else.”
“They are, but it’s not the first time someone’s been mad at you, is it?” he asks.
“It’s not.”
“And what did you do then?”
“Lived my life the way I wanted to. But that doesn’t mean that I haven’t hurt people along the way,” I admit.
He nods his head but doesn’t say anything right away. I think that maybe he doesn’t have anything to say.
“You know, you may have hurt people, but I know you, Stephanie. I know without a doubt that you never did anything maliciously. If you hurt them, it wasn’t because you were trying to be mean.”
“No, I wasn’t. But I was selfish. Still am.”
“That’s just human nature. Even someone who claims to be selfless, isn’t. None of us are.”
We don’t say anything for another long moment. I reach for my purse, then hook it over my shoulder before I push the door open.
“Maybe it’s human nature, but it feels just awful inside,” I whisper.
“Yeah, it can. But you’re righting that wrong now, aren’t you?”
“If he’ll let me.”
Damion and I go shopping. I can’t help but laugh every time he sees something he’s never seen before. The fresh tortillas, cake by the slice, and Texas-shaped everything are his favorites. In fact, he loads the shopping cart full of them all.
“Who is going to eat all of this?” I ask.
“Doesn’t matter. I want it,” he snaps, cradling the warm tortillas to his chest as if I’m going to take them away from him.
Holding up my hands in surrender, my lips twitch as I shake my head. “Those are all yours, but if you want a suggestion, some butter, cinnamon, and sugar would make them a hell of a lot better.”
“Oh my God. I can’t. Point me in the direction and I’ll grab them while you check out.”
Lifting my hand, I extend my index finger and tell him where to find the ingredients as I begin to place my items on the cashier belt. I hurry, not wanting to be caught in here by anyone, especially Ford. I don’t want him to know I’m in town yet.
Thankfully, it doesn’t take us too long to check out. Damion and I sprint out of the store, quickly load up the car, then head toward the hotel. Not that I’m surprised, but I am glad to find out that the largest room in the place is still available as we check in.
We carry our bags into the room, then unload all the groceries before I promptly throw myself back on the bed.
“I wouldn’t lay down on that comforter,” Damion warns with a shiver.
“I know they’re gross. But I’m tired and I’m going to disinfect from the plane anyway. I just need five minutes.”
Closing my eyes, I inhale a deep breath before I let it out with a sigh. I can hear him shuffling around, but I ignore it, all of it. I just want a moment to breathe, to try to figure out how I’m going to get Ford back and convince him that I’m here to stay—forever.
“This is fucking amazing,” Damion moans.
Opening one eye, I can’t help but giggle at the sight of him eating a tortilla with butter, cinnamon, and sugar slathered all over it.
“Make me one too, please?”
He arches a brow, holding his snack to his chest.
“There are fifty tortillas there, you can spare one,” I snap.
He growls, then makes me one and tosses it toward me. “Thanks.” I laugh.
We sit in the hotel room, talking and eating tortillas for the rest of the evening. It’s cathartic. It’s exactly what I need before I allow myself to be completely vulnerable. To apologize and to truly lay myself bare for Ford.
To tell him that I’ve always loved him, I’ve never stopped. That I want to try again and that my house in Malibu is on the market, I have only one movie left to make and then I’m going to completely retire from the business.
That I want to have a future with him, the family that we should have always had. The life that we should have always had. The life that I know is missing from deep inside of me.
He could laugh in my face. He could tell me that it’s too late. Or he could kiss me and accept everything that I have to say, everything that I want. The fact that I have no idea what is going to happen fills me with hope and anxiety all at the same time.
I want him.
I want this life.
I want everything.
Chapter Thirty
FORD
Climbing out of my truck, I slide my hand across the side of my hair, wondering how fucking ridiculous I must look. I can’t remember the last time I was in public without either a ball cap or my straw hat. Didn’t figure either would be appropriate for a first blind date in a sit-down restaurant.
Straightening my Pearl Snap Button Shirt, I clear my throat before locking my truck up and make my way inside of the Italian restaurant. It’s pretty calm for a Friday night, but then again, I’m not sure seven is really the dinner rush in a town that is mostly full of retired folks.
Walking up to the hostess, I tell her that there is a reservation under Matthews. I know that I’m a bit early, but I couldn’t have my date beat me here. It just wouldn’t be gentlemanly to make a woman wait, even if she’s a stranger.
She’s a young thing, probably just out of high school, her lips turn up into a grin and she nods her head as she reaches for two menus.
“Your other party hasn’t arrived yet. Would you like to wait at the bar?”
Shaking my head, I tell her no. As much as I want a couple of beers to calm my nerves, I’m not going to be that guy. I don’t want this girl to think that I’m someone who gets drunk on a first date. I want to make a good impression, or at least try to make one.
Sitting down, I take the chair that’s against the wall, facing the front door so that I can see her walk into the building. The hostess asks if she can get me anything to drink as she places the menu in front of me.
“Water and a sweet tea, please.”
She nods, then turns around and disappears in the back. My knee bounces as I wait nervously for this woman to show up. The girls refused to tell me what she looked like, not even her age. I got fuckall to go off of.
It’s nerve-wracking, completely and totally nerve-wracking. I don’t know what to expect, if they found someone that could really be my future, or not.
It’s nothing like picking up someone from a bar and taking her around the back for a quick fuck. This is completely different. This is a date, and it’s been well over ten years since I’ve been on one of these. Even the last one I was on. It was a fucking disaster. My track record is complete shit.
The hostess drops off my drinks. I thank her, then inhale a deep breath, letting it out slowly. I dip my chin, my knee still bouncing as I stare at the top of the table, wondering when the fuck she’s going to be here and put me out of my curiosity.
“Ford,” a familiar voice whispers.
Lifting my head, my lips part at the sight in front of me. A sight that I honestly never thought that I would see again. I’m not sure what the feeling is that rolls through me as it registers in my head that she’s really here, really standing in front of me.
Her lips curve up into a smile. My eyes take in the rest of her. She’s wearing a dress, it’s short and wraps around her body like a second skin. Her heels are sky-high, but she’s not wearing a lot of makeup and her hair is down and wavy.
She looks fucking beautiful.
“How?” I ask.
“Can I sit?”
I think about telling her no, but I’ve never been able to deny myself any part of her, especially when she’s right in front of me. Slipping from my chair, I stand and make my way over to her. Tugging out the chair across from mine, I watch as she sinks down.
She tilts her head to the side, looking up at me as I push her chair in. “Thanks,” she breathes.
Once I’ve pushed her chair in, I walk back around to mine and take a seat. I take her in, my gaze searching her gorgeous face.
“What’re you doing here?”
Her lips twitch until they curve up into a small, sad smile. “Did you think that you could walk away and it would be the end?”
Snorting, I sit back in my seat as the waiter places a basket of bread down in front of us. He takes her drink order, a water and a glass of some red wine that I can’t pronounce.
“I did,” I admit after the waiter walks away.
“I know you did, Ford. I was serious when I said I was finished with acting. I have one movie that I’m required to finish, but my house is on the market and I’m moving here to Gallup. I’m ready to live a different life. I’m ready to slow down.”
“What happens when you decide playing farmgirl isn’t what you want anymore? You just gonna run from me again?” I demand, keeping my voice low. There is no way for me to hide my hurt, to disguise my pain. It’s here and she knows it, too.
Stephanie shakes her head. “No,” she whispers. “I’m not making this decision lightly. This is what I want. Something has been missing all these years, and it’s been you, Ford. It’s been the life that we planned. The simple life. I didn’t realize what I needed, why I have never been truly happy with all the success I’ve had.”
“Yeah? You sure about all that? I can’t give you anything you had in that life, Stephanie.”
She reaches across the table, wrapping her fingers around my hand and squeezing. “Haven’t you been listening to me? I don’t want the life I had, Ford. I want the one that you can give me.”
“Even if it don’t come with fancy parties, diamonds, and expensive vacations, or any vacations?”
Her hand slides up to my wrist, her fingers curling around as she smiles at me. It’s a genuine one, her lips are wide and she’s even showing me a bit of her teeth. Fuck. How is this woman, this beautiful woman, even sitting across from me? Let alone fighting for me, for us?
“I had all those things, Ford. I wasn’t happy, not truly. But with you…”
“I’m not the same boy I was at eighteen.”
“I’m not the same girl,” she says. “I like the man that you are. You’re grumpy, you’re hard on the outside, but you’re still that soft sweet boy on the inside and I’m not even going to mention how it is in bed.”
COWBOY (Unfit Hero Book 5) Page 21