by Kaye Draper
Too bad I wasn’t a full fucking shifter.
But I glanced at the men watching me pace and I just couldn’t fight it anymore. I wasn’t a real shifter. But it seemed pretty obvious I was shifter enough to fall prey to the stupid mating call. And...trying to keep Fin and Em safe by keeping them away from me was just making us all miserable.
“I’m sorry,” I ground out, not looking at anyone. I’d fucked up. Bad.
“You don’t have to say that,” Fin said, speaking for the first time in at least fifteen minutes. I honestly thought he was just never going to talk to me again, since his participation in the “intervention” had been so minimal. His bright green eyes met mine, and I was shocked at the guilt and pain there. “I messed up,” he ground out. “I get it.”
I stalked over to him and planted my hands on my hips, looking down at the little weirdo in confusion. “You messed up? How? I’m the one who made you guys think I didn’t want you around anymore.”
Fin’s eyes narrowed with anger, but I got the feeling it wasn’t directed at me. “And why was that, exactly? Of course you don’t want me around anymore! I tried to tell these idiots that.” He waved a hand at Em and Angel, who were standing on the path that led to the mansion, side by side, as if they were suddenly best fucking buddies.
I ignored that weirdness to focus on Fin. “What the hell are you yapping about?”
Fin let out a long, defeated sigh. “I got Ahura killed. Why the fuck would you want to see me again?”
I blinked at him in surprise. “You what now?”
Emerson took a few steps closer, coming to stand behind Fin for moral support. “He thinks it’s his fault,” the big, green know-it-all said, his deep voice soft and pleading. “He thinks his luck magic put Ahura in the position she was in or something. I can’t make him see reason, Sam. Tell him it wasn’t his fault.”
I just stared at both of them a minute longer, wondering how everything had gone so wrong. This wasn’t how it was supposed to work. They were supposed to hate me when I left, not blame themselves. What the hell?
The soft scuff of dress shoes on the decorative pavers leading to Josie’s house drew my attention past Fin and Emerson. Theo had come outside sometime in the last few minutes, while I was distracted by my ridiculous, stupid...mates. His eyes met mine and he nodded. Then he turned and said something to Angel, too soft for even my hearing to pick up. Angel looked at the ground, very deliberately not looking out toward me and my mates. Good. The fucker needed to learn to mind his own damned business.
Even if deep down I knew I was being just as stubborn and blind about Angel as everything else.
My gut clenched as I watched Theo press a hand to Angel’s lower back, urging him to go back inside. Angel seemed to lean into the touch, as if he needed support. Bullshit. I refused to feel bad for him after he interfered in my life.
That didn’t stop me from wanting to push in between the two men and break up whatever the hell was going on there. Gods, Sam, get a grip. Apparently, I still hadn’t completely shaken off the effects of my near-meltdown.
I turned back to more important matters. Kneeling, I reached for Fin, grabbing his shoulders and giving them a squeeze as I stared into his bright emerald eyes, taking in the way he clenched his square jaw. “Fin,” I said as evenly as possibly. “You didn’t kill Ahura. I don’t blame you. I’ve never blamed you. Even if your stupid, finicky, lame-ass luck magic did somehow cause it—which I highly doubt—I wouldn’t blame you. Idiot.”
He closed his eyes in a long blink, as if he were trying to hold back tears. Ah, Fin. My tough little ass. “How can you just...be okay with that?” he said, his Adam’s apple bobbing in his throat as he swallowed back whatever emotion he was feeling.
I looked up at Emerson for help, but the big green jerk just smiled softly, as if he was waiting for me to do something.
“Because I love you, moron,” I said in response to Fin’s question, pulling him into a hug. I breathed in his scent, wanting to roll in it so I’d never go a day without being saturated in my mate’s essence ever again. Stupid cat genes. “And because I’m not your fucking clan, Fin,” I added, as I suddenly realized what his problem really was. “I won’t just throw you away the minute you fuck up.”
His arms wrapped around my neck and he let out a stuttering breath. He didn’t say anything. He didn’t have to. I was so slow when it came to this emotion shit, but even I got this. “I’m sorry, Finny,” I said, squeezing him tighter. “I fucked up too. Badly.”
He pulled back enough to arch an eyebrow at me. “Fuck yes you did. Asshole. And don’t call me ‘Finny.’”
Feeling a bit more confident, and not ready to endure any more of people telling me how stupid I was today, I shut him up with a kiss.
Gods I’d missed this. When he didn’t punch me or bite me, I angled my lips, deepening the kiss, drinking in the taste of him, the feel of him on my skin. Home. That’s what I’d been missing this whole time. That feeling of knowing right where you belong.
I kissed the corner of his lips, then dragged my nose along his jaw, scenting him, rubbing my own smooth cheek against his plush stubble, marking him like the stupid cat I was. “Missed you,” I muttered, pausing to nip at his pointed ear.
He chuckled and drew away, looking more relaxed. I didn’t think he had fully forgiven himself for whatever he thought he’d done, but at least he was trying.
I stood and found myself immediately engulfed in a mountain of rippling, greenish-tinted muscle. Em wrapped his arms around my waist and lifted me off my feet as he crushed me against his broad, t-shirt covered chest. “Sam,” he said, relief flooding his deep voice.
He didn’t seem to be able to get anything else out, just my name, over and over in that ecstatic tone. I wrapped my arms around his neck and clung to him, giving into his theatrics and wrapping my legs around his waist to support myself, since he insisted on picking me up. “Okay, big guy,” I breathed, tangling my fingers in the soft black curls at the base of his head. “It’s okay. I’m sorry.”
He pressed his forehead to mine, his expressive eyes closed, long black lashes resting on his broad cheekbones. “Don’t ever do that to us again, Sam. Please.”
And my heart broke into a thousand pieces. Somehow, somewhere deep inside, some part of me had still assumed they didn’t really love me—that they couldn’t. Like that was impossible. Like I’d just walk away, and they’d move on and be a-okay. But...I’d hurt Emerson. What was I thinking? I was so goddamned stupid. And so fucking lucky that he wasn’t the kind of person to just get pissed and walk away from my nonsense.
“Promise,” I said on a shaky exhale. “I...I still don’t think it’s safe for you guys to be with me. I don’t get why you’d risk it. But...I promise I won’t just shut you out without at least telling you why. Okay?”
He sighed. “I suppose, Sam.”
Then his wide mouth covered mine, his touch soft and questioning. Sweet, annoying, amazing Em. I sucked his bottom lip into my mouth and bit down gently, teasing. Then I pulled away. “Okay, enough. Put me down before the security staff sees. I’ll never hear the end of it if they catch me being all sappy.”
Emerson chuckled, the deep sound reverberating through me where I was pressed to his chest. “Okay, Sam.”
He lowered me to the ground, and I huffed, jerking my clothes straight and lifting my chin as if I hadn’t been making a complete idiot of myself just a second before. “We need to figure out how to make this work,” I said, looking at the distant trees, rather than the two sets of eyes I could feel burning holes in my skin. “I actually...like my new job. And I need to see things through for Ahura.” I sighed heavily. “And Theo, Gods help me.” For some damned reason, I actually cared what happened to the fake-human asshat.
Fin let out a short laugh at that. Emerson shook his head.
“Whatever you need to do, Sabertooth,” Fin said easily. “Just so long as you don’t try to leave us out. We’re a damned guild, y
ou mangey cat bastard. Don’t forget that.”
I grinned down at him. “Sure thing, guildmaster. But I kind of have a new boss these days.”
He rolled his eyes. “Don’t remind me.” Then he gave me a narrow-eyed look. “Never thought you’d want to work for a human politician, after all your bitching and moaning about humans.”
I stared at him. Shit. Fin and Emerson had been there when Theo lost his shit and revealed what he was, they had to know he was at least a cur. But they hadn’t actually seen him transform. They didn’t know what Theo really was...that he was actually a full fiend. Or about his entire stupid, suicidal plan for Westhold. Theo’s secret wasn’t mine to share. But could I really keep that information from my mates? Shit, shit, shit.
While I had my mini mental breakdown, Jules managed to sneak up on me. I let out a startled, pathetic little yelp. If I were a fully shifted tiger right now, all my hair would be standing on end. Creepy bastard. He kept his professional face on, but one corner of his mouth curled upward ever so slightly. He’d done that on purpose, the asshole.
“What the fuck do you want?” I demanded.
His expression smoothed out, becoming serious. “You’re needed in the study, Viceroy.” He arched one blonde brow at Fin and Em. “And I’ve been told to bring your entire guild along as well.”
I rolled my eyes. “Can’t it wait a fucking minute?” For fuck’s sake, couldn’t I have like an hour to myself? I really needed some time to readjust. To take my mates back to my suite and drown in them for an hour or so to remind myself what it felt like to be alive. To be sane.
Jules leveled a sharp look at me. “No. It can’t. There’s been an incident in town. With the shifter pack. Your expertise is needed immediately.”
I growled and shoved past the butler. “Why the fuck didn’t you say so, Jeeves.”
The soft tap of his shiny dress shoes followed me. “I apologize, Just Sam. I’ll make myself clearer next time. Perhaps I should speak in smaller words for your benefit?”
I lifted a middle finger at him over my shoulder, earning a snort of suppressed laughter from Fin and a sigh from Emerson.
Jules just came up beside me and opened the door for us, executing a prim, perfectly stuffy bow as we walked by. “It has been a pleasure to serve you, as always, Viceroy.”
I grinned at him over my shoulder. “Oh, I get it... you’re a masochist, right?”
Emerson turned bright pink under his green complexion. “Really, Sam?”
Fin laughed. “What? You think he suddenly decided to start being polite just because he moved into a fancy-assed house?”
Jules shut the door and strode past us, headed toward the study. “Heavens forbid,” he breathed, deadpan.
I laughed, but inside I was already on high alert. The forest shifter pack never came into town. They sent hired human runners—or occasionally really weak, easily replaced shifters—if they needed supplies. That’s it. Otherwise, they shunned humans completely. The fact that I’d chosen to work for a human-run agency in a human-run town was unforgivable, and in their eyes, it was just more proof of how broken and worthless I was.
So, what the fuck were they doing here now?
Chapter 4
Jules led us to the small conference room Theo sometimes used for meetings with city officials. Fin and Emerson seemed uncomfortable as we all took our seats around the sleek, polished wood table, but they hid it well, clearly determined not to leave my side. I suppressed the urge to roll my eyes. They were going to be impossible after this, clingy and needy as shit.
I sank into my chair on Theo’s right, ignoring the siren on his left. It had become routine now, Theo at the head of the table with his political spy on one side and his hired hunter on the other. It was ridiculous. But it still beat the hell out of dragging in blood thirsty fiend monsters for a living. Most days.
Jules flitted around, arranging an old telephone in the middle of the table for a conference call. It was a weird thing to see, but not out of place here—Theo did a lot of business with people who could afford things like reliable, working phone lines. Emerson shifted in his seat and I tried not to grin. The big guy was probably itching to get his hands on the contraption so he could tear it apart and reproduce it, maybe make it better with a fusion of magic and tech.
Fin was watching Theo with a skeptical glare on his face, as if he was just waiting for everything to go to shit. I almost suggested he use some of his stupid luck magic, because yeah...things most likely were about to go to shit. That’s kind of how Theo’s position worked. But I got the feeling it was too soon—the guilt Fin felt about the last time he’d used his magic was still too raw.
I arched a brow at Theo. “So? What’s going on?”
He straightened his jacket and tie, as if the person on the other end of the phone would be able to see his human disguise. I shook my head at his stupidity. How could a person be so powerful and cocky, and yet also be such a big, fussy baby?
“I have a call scheduled with the new sheriff,” he said calmly, as if nothing was out of the ordinary. “It seems the forest shifter pack showed up in town this morning and started stirring the pot.”
I shrugged, trying to seem unconcerned. “And? Ahura was slaughtered just for walking down the fucking street. You’d think the police department could handle the forest asshats if they were actually doing something threatening.”
Theo leveled his blue eyes on me. “That was when the department was under the control of the old sheriff. It’s the sort of thing we’ve been working to prevent moving forward, Sam.”
I scoffed and folded my arms over my chest, swiveling my conference chair from side to side, since I couldn’t get up and pace. We both knew I never expected the changes Theo was trying to make to actually work. This was him saying “I told you so.”
“I think the more important question,” Angel cut in, “is why now? What are they attempting to gain from showing up in town?”
Theo glanced at the siren, then at me. “Isn’t it obvious? They were hired by the same person who’s been trying to get rid of me or expose me since the beginning. He wants the shifters to stir up issues and tensions between humans and non-humans here in Westhold.”
I ran a hand over my face, then glared at Theo. “So, you’re finally going to clue us into what the fuck is going on there?” He still hadn’t ever explained who was gunning for him when we first met. He was cagey as fuck about the whole situation, and I just assumed it was such a common thing between political rivals that he didn’t think it worth mentioning. Now I was sure there was more to it.
“I know exactly who it is and what he wants,” Theo said, his voice going cold and flat. “But there isn’t enough solid evidence to implicate him. So, I’ve let him play his silly games, knowing he can’t win. But this....” His eyes flashed with the growing power inside him. “He does not get to interfere with the future I’m building here by endangering my people.” He jerked on his tie again, even though the red silk was already perfectly straight.
The phone started ringing and I sighed. I was going to get straight answers out of the jackass, if I had to beat them out of him. But I supposed it could wait until after the he got off the phone.
“Afternoon, sovereign,” the new sheriff greeted in his usual slow drawl. He was like something out of a damned cowboy novel. But at least he wasn’t prone to overreacting to every little thing, the way his predecessor had been.
“Good afternoon, Sherriff,” Theo replied. “I understand there has been a disturbance. What is the current situation and how can I help?” All warm, concerned government official. I had to give it to Theo, he played his part well.
“No one seriously injured,” Griffith said gruffly. “Though a few humans were bruised up and one got a nasty gash on his arm when the protestors got too close to the shifters.” There was a clink in the background, and I could almost see the man sipping the nasty black sludge the police department called “coffee.” “My people deescalat
ed the situation, but it took a show of force and a police escort to get them to leave town. I’m thinking fines won’t work with that lot, they’d just refuse to pay up. And we can’t exactly take them in and hold them for long, not with the little actual physical damage they did. Mostly it was just rabble rousing, gettin’ folks stirred up and mad.”
“He’s right,” I said thoughtfully. “Fines won’t do anything. You need to hit them where it hurts. Cut off their trade rights or something like that. Alpha Baghinder is a stubborn, black-hearted...male. You know the kind. He thinks he’s the toughest thing to ever walk the earth and everyone on this planet exists just to make him happy. Maybe take him down a notch by making it hard to provide for his people and be the big bad ruler he’s made himself out to be.” I shrugged at Theo. “But really, the best thing would be to just have him removed.”
I swear, you could hear a pin drop, the room got so quiet. I glanced at the idiots around me. Sure, it sounded like an old-fashioned mob boss move. But that was just how the world worked sometimes. “What? None of you have met the asshole. I don’t think you really appreciate just how fucked up the whole forest shifter clan is. They thrive off people’s suffering. Demeaning weaker beings is a hobby. And it’s mostly because of the alpha. Take him out and establish new leadership—maybe a younger shifter who was born here—and you might actually be able to work with them. Otherwise, you’re just waiting for them to escalate, maybe start killing humans—at least more publicly than they usually do—so you have the justification to put in an official hunt through the guild.”
Theo tilted his head at me in that bird-like way of his. How had I never noticed how much of a bird-brain he was before the whole exploding dinosaur-bird thing? “While I would never condone something as unacceptable as premeditated murder of my political rivals,” the not-human human politician said smoothly. “I trust my viceroy’s assessment of their own clan. We’ll need to handle this in a way that leaves no room for further mayhem.”