by Kaye Draper
I suddenly had the dizzying feeling that Fin’s magic was stronger than he even knew. He hadn’t just made sure Ahura’s efforts to help the fiends and curs were successful...he’d made her a fucking martyr to the cause, a story and a warning, an inspiration that would—potentially—reach thousands of people. And he’d made sure Theo’s plans to change the city had the chance to be successful as well—with the death and martyrdom of a single fiend woman.
“Holy shit, you cannot ever let Fin know he did this,” I gasped, my eyes riveted to Theo’s surprised face.
The phoenix in him flared for a second, rising close to the surface, protective and fierce. “I...never even realized,” he told me, his voice holding a little awe. “I’ll protect him, Sam,” he said firmly.
I swallowed hard, realizing what his words meant. It wasn’t just an empty promise. Those were the words of a fiend making a promise to his mate, to ensure their happiness by any means necessary.
I rubbed a hand over my face, unable to take the intensity. “Just...we need to be really careful about asking him to use his magic, okay? And...can you maybe—”
He cut me off, nodding. “I’ll find someone who knows the ins and outs of luck magic and get them here to train him at once. I have to wonder if this is the real reason he was outcast from his clan. Maybe they suspected he was unstable.”
Jules appeared out of nowhere, making me jump. The creepy bastard. “I’m sorry to interrupt, sirs,” he said evenly. “But the media people are at the main gate. Shall I let them in?”
Theo turned to me, a question in his eyes. He really would let me call it all off, if that’s what I wanted. He really thought my opinion of him might be that low, that I would think he had somehow orchestrated all of this just to use it for his own gains. He hadn’t. He was too...honorable for that. He was just smart enough to see the opportunity in every situation. And in this case, I agreed with him. Ahura’s death wouldn’t be for nothing.
“Let’s go fuck up the whole town,” I said with a grin. Because let’s be honest, this was going to cause some serious ripples. Maybe I’d even get to rough some people up when things went south. Fun.
Theo’s hand settled on my lower back, the touch light, there and gone again in a heartbeat. “As you wish, Viceroy.” Then we went to meet with the humans before the media hounds descended on us with their prodding and prying.
The restless cat inside me prowled, tail lashing and teeth bared. Things were going to change, that was for sure. But in what way?
Chapter 11
My feet pounded the dirt path that stretched around the entire perimeter of Theo’s huge-assed yard. The soreness from my workout with the guards was fading as I melted into the freedom and lulling rhythm of my run, letting a little of my...shifterness...out. The cat inside me loved a good run as much as it loved a good nap. It was like hunting, where I could let go of most of my thoughts and just focus on the way I moved, on the ground beneath my feet and the air rushing into my lungs.
A week had passed, and nothing had imploded. Yet. Things in town were tense, but so far there hadn’t been more than a few protests and short-lived squabbles in reaction to the news about Ahura and her statue in the park. I didn’t think this level of peace was going to last, but it was nice to see that the population was at least somewhat able to behave when presented with something half of them didn’t like.
I slowed as I reached the path that led to Josie’s cottage, focusing on bringing my heart rate down and getting my breathing under control. Stopping on the porch, I stretched out my warm, liquid muscles and wiped the sweat from my face with the hem of my t-shirt. “Hey, old lady?” I called as I let myself into the little house.
Josie was out back, in her sunroom. It was her favorite spot, and she was currently curled up on a couch with a fluffy blanket over her legs as she squinted through the thick new glasses Theo’s doctor had forced on her and tried to read a kid’s chapter book. She had only managed to learn enough to get by when she lived out in the shifter woods. But she’d insisted I get an education wherever I could. So now, I was returning the favor. How long it would last was anybody’s guess. But Dr. Johansen said whatever was causing the vision issues was something she could slow down with injections, and Josie insisted she wanted to know what it was like to feel “smart.” As if being able to read would help her with that.
I plopped down in the chair opposite hers and grinned. “You look like someone’s old human grannie,” I informed her.
She looked up from her nest and gave me the middle finger. “Keep calling me old. I’ve still got enough juice in me to kick your ass, kitten.”
I huffed a laugh and rolled my eyes at that. She wished. “I’ve got a box of stuff for you up at the big house,” I told her, before I could forget. “You can upgrade from The Adventures of Bobby Bunny.” A box of children’s encyclopedias had appeared in my suite yesterday. I knew it was Theo, quietly giving things to Josie by letting me give them to her so I’d be happy she was happy, and she’d actually accept the gift.
Josie had warmed up to Theo a bit, but she still didn’t trust a rich human who suddenly started doling out gifts and honors. I couldn’t blame her. I still had trouble with that sometimes myself. But I was working on it. Theo had been true to his word, not mentioning the whole mating call thing since that day in his suite. But the little favors still trickled in every day. He couldn’t help his instinct to take care of me and the people I loved.
It was weird...but I was getting used to weird at this point. Weird was normal for me.
“So,” Josie said, looking at me over the top of her thick glasses. “Athena tells me Angel’s up and about. How’s the whole mate thing going for you?”
I made a face at her. “Yes, he’s alive,” I said dryly. “And no, I haven’t pounced on him and started making demands just because some stupid cat gene says I should.”
She made a face right back at me. “So, you’re still being stupid and stubborn then. As usual.” She flipped a page and turned her attention back to her book. “Good to see some things never change.”
She flipped another page while I glared at her. No way was she reading that fast. She was just being an asshole. “Why that boy ever put up with you, I’ll never know,” she muttered. Then she leveled another unimpressed look at me over her glasses. “I assumed it must be because the sex was good. But if it’s taken him this long to get better, you must not even be doing that right.”
I gaped at her. “You can’t talk to me about my sex life. That’s disgusting, Josie!”
She huffed a laugh and flipped another page, as if Bobby Bunny was just so interesting. “I say whatever the fuck I want, kid. You came to see me. So you must want advice.”
I huffed and crossed my arms over my chest. “I have never once in my entire life come to you for advice, you old coot. No one in their right mind would want life advice from you.”
She set the book on the coffee table between us and leaned forward with her elbows on her knees, her knowing gaze unflinching. “All right, Samantha. What’s the problem?”
I snorted and looked away. As if I came here for advice. Ridiculous.
“I’m scared I’ll screw this up and hurt every one of them,” I blurted out, snapping my mouth shut so fast that my teeth clicked, after the words spilled out.
She rolled her eyes. “Of course you will.”
I looked at her in disbelief. “That’s your sage advice, oh wise one? ‘Yep, Sam, you’re a fuckup. The end.’”
She snorted a laugh and sat back against the couch, pulling off her glasses and massaging her nose. “Look, kid. I know fuck-all about romance and mating and all that shit. And I know you’ve never had a real good example about how to love. Neither has Angel, for that matter. The other idiots you call mates probably haven’t either. But you’re young. You’ve got lots of time to fuck up and lots of time to fix your fuckups.” She waved a hand dismissively. “But I think you best get to enjoying the people who love you, rathe
r than waiting around for them to almost die before you get your ass in gear. It’s not like they don’t already know you’re an asshole. They’ll cope.”
I barked a laugh at Josie’s loving advice.
“You’re a jerk,” I told her calmly.
She nodded. “Well? Have I ever claimed to be nice?”
I snorted. “Never.”
She picked up her book again. “And yet, you love the fuck out of me anyway.”
I smiled for real this time. “Yeah, I do, you old weirdo. More than anything.”
She looked at me, and this time her expression was soft in a way Josie never was. “I love you too, Sam. I’m proud of you, kid. No matter what that fool brain of yours might tell you, you deserve to be happy.” She arched a brow at me. “What does that fuzzy, sabertoothed part of you say you should be doing right now?”
I put my face in my hands, defeated. “It says we should be taking care of our mates, and letting them take care of us. Like nothing matters but being in the same room as them, being near them. Breathing their air.” I huffed and sat up. “It’s fucking mushy and disgusting. My heart feels all...squishy.”
She cackled at my pain. “Maybe you should just listen to the damned cat once in a while, Sam. It makes life easier.”
I stood, done with this whole weird conversation. “I’ll bring you books tomorrow.”
“If you can still walk,” she yelled after me as I high-tailed it toward the door. “That big one might do you in!”
I slammed the cottage door and leaned against it, flushed and feeling ridiculous.
But Josie was right—about listening to the cat, not about Emerson and his monster cock. Maybe I should just let my instincts guide me once in a while. I was sick of being so careful all the time, so afraid of this whole other part of me—the part that wanted to be soft, that wanted to...to give in. To care and be cared for.
Gods damn it. I was turning into such a fucking girl.
I made my way to my room without conscious thought, showering quickly and running a brush through my hair. Then I threw on a pair of stretchy workout pants and a loose, wide-necked t-shirt, not bothering with the restrictive sports bra I usually used to hide my femininity. It didn’t matter. Nothing really mattered right now except fixing things, strengthening the tenuous string connecting me to the people I loved.
Josie was right, Angel should have healed faster. I knew he was okay—his wounds were healed. But his arm was still stiff, and he still seemed tired and not as vibrant as usual. Holding hands and taking naps together in his big bed wasn’t enough to give him the energy he needed. He hadn’t said anything about it. But I was hurting him. Again. Still. He needed me just as much as this restless, empty feeling inside me said I needed him. All of them. Mine.
Fin was in my room when I came out of the shower. He glanced up at me from where he was riffling through my overstuffed bookcase in search of something new to read in between hunts and jobs. I might have a secret weakness for books, now that I had the money to throw away on something so frivolous. The leprechaun let out a startled noise and dropped the book he was holding when I fell to my knees and pulled him into a hug.
“What the hell?” he muttered into my hair. “You sick or something, Sam?” But he stroked my back awkwardly with one short arm.
I nuzzled into his neck and growled, swiping my tongue over the place where his pulse thundered in his neck, then biting down, marking his golden skin. He sighed. “Oh. Like that is it?” A small hand wiggled free of my crushing embrace to tangle in my hair and pull.
I tilted my head back and let him kiss me, opening to him and trying to find the words to tell him what I wanted. What I needed. To ask permission as the wounded, fearful part of me that always lurked in the background whimpered and cowered in fear. We’re treading dangerous ground, the abused, fearful part whispered. Fin will be mad. You’ll look weak. They’ll all start to hate you if you aren’t strong. If you aren’t in charge.
“Hey,” Fin said, pulling away and stroking my cheek like he could see the frightened animal in me. “Hey, Saber. I know. It’s okay.”
I looked into his bright green eyes and tried not to lose my shit, though I was pretty close anyway. “You’re sure?”
He huffed at me. “Moron. Everyone’s been waiting around for you to get with the program for days.”
I swallowed hard. “Where’s Em?”
He gave me a wry look. “Where do you think? Seriously, I still don’t get it. But I guess the big idiot has a weakness for pretty things.” He sighed. “And wounded things. That guy’s...just as fucked up as the rest of us, isn’t he?”
I didn’t know what to say. I knew exactly what Fin meant, and he was right. Even Josie had seen it. Me and every one of my mates—we just didn’t know how to love. But we could learn. I hoped.
I scooped Fin up and stood. He didn’t even try to stop me, just hung his head and one arm over my shoulder like I’d killed him. He was probably bright red as we dashed down the hall to Angel’s room. I didn’t care. I had more important things to worry about. The restlessness inside me was getting worse, and I suddenly just had to be with my mates. It felt like an overstretched rubber band was connecting me and Angel and if I didn’t let it drag me forward, it was going to snap.
When we reached Angel’s room, I set Fin on his feet and pushed the door open without knocking. Three pairs of surprised eyes watched me as I walked across the room. Angel was sitting all curled up in a big, overstuffed chair, wearing a pair of loose, flowing flannel pajama pants and a soft, long-sleeved sweater. His hands were wrapped around a cup of steaming tea and he had a blanket draped around him like he just couldn’t get warm. It was approaching the cold season, but it wasn’t cold here, inside the sovereign’s mansion. I was perfectly comfortable in my t-shirt. Theo perched on a footstool, Angel’s feet in his lap as he massaged the long arches through a pair of ridiculous, brightly colored wool socks. Emerson was hovering, and he froze in the middle of bringing Angel what looked like an old pre-rift relic...an electric heating pad, I think.
I ignored the eyes on me and went straight to Angel. Theo hurriedly leaned forward and grabbed the teacup, setting it aside as I bent and kissed the ever-loving fuck out of my mate. My poor mate, sitting in here, freezing. Pining for energy. For touch. For love. When I pulled back, we were both breathing hard, as if we’d run a couple miles, and his liquid gold eyes were shimmering with his inner power.
“Why didn’t you say anything?” I demanded. Then I reached out and cupped his angular jaw, my fingers sliding over his perfect skin, finding just the barest hint of soft silver stubble. “You have to tell me these things, asshole,” I whined, desperate to let him know I hadn’t meant to hurt him again. “I’m slow. I don’t understand what I’m feeling. I thought you were okay.”
He reached up and pressed his fingertips to my lips, shutting me up. His fingers were warm from where he’d held the cup of tea, and they smelled faintly of the herbal blend. “I’m sorry, Sam,” he said softly. “I didn’t want to push you. I wasn’t sure you were ready. I am okay. Just a little tired. I’m not an invalid.” He rolled his eyes toward Em and Theo. “Despite what everyone around here seems to think. Honestly, I’ve survived all these years without a bonded mate to fuel my recovery every time some thug roughs me up.”
I snarled at that, the beast inside me suddenly enraged. “No.”
His golden eyes went wide as his eyebrows climbed up his forehead. “No?”
I brushed away a stray strand of sparkling silver hair that had escaped his loose braid. “No.” I knew the things Angel did to earn a living were dangerous. Especially after he started using his siren magic for hire to all the rich thugs in the area. But I absolutely could not deal with the thought of him hurt and alone right now. “No.”
He seemed to get it. His expression softened and he leaned up to kiss the point of my chin. “Breathe, Sam,” he whispered. “It’s okay. Just breathe.”
And that...did he even
know what those words did to me? Did he remember? I sucked in a deep breath and let his magic wash over me, making me feel...settled. I was still nervous and needy. But I could think through the panic. He was using his siren magic on me, and I was...letting him. I sank to my knees and pulled him into another kiss, this one slow and soft. Open. Letting him see my determination to let him in all the way. Showing him that I was done pushing him away. I was done running. I wasn’t going anywhere ever again.
Warmth uncoiled from somewhere deep inside, like he was touching my soul. I felt the warmth flowing from me to Angel, heating his skin and making him glow. When his lips left mine, his skin was flushed, and that opal gleam he always had was more obvious than ever. “Thank you,” he whispered, pressing his forehead to mine.
I found his hand and brought it up to my mouth, pressing my lips to his palm, my entire body shaking. “Please, Angel,” I choked out, not knowing what I was begging for. Only that I couldn’t wait any longer for whatever it was my entire being was demanding. Angel would know. He was my mate now. And he was the stronger one in this bond. He’d know what I needed.
I hoped.
His beautiful gold eyes were glued to my face as if he couldn’t look away. “Sam,” he said easily, like the friend who’d known me forever—the one who always saw me, even when I was hiding from myself, and never flinched away from what he saw. “Oh, sweetheart. It’ll be okay. I promise.”
Someone moved, and Angel finally tore his eyes away from me, letting me breathe normally again as time sped back up and reality intruded. Theo was turning to go. Angel lurched forward and caught the sovereign’s wrist, his expression saying he was afraid he’d just offended his other lover. “Theo, wait.”
But when Theo turned back, his expression was soft, not harsh with anger. “I’ll give you guys some space,” he said easily.
Angel squeezed his wrist. “Stay.”
Theo glanced at me, still kneeling by Angel’s chair, then at Emerson and Fin who were both quietly watching their world shift and change to accommodate the siren. “It’s okay,” he said softly. “This is your moment. You belong here.” He bent and pressed a tender kiss to Angel’s forehead, then he pulled away, gliding out the door and closing it behind him without a backward glance.