Thair’s Story
Rancho Fierno
May, 2003
A day before Phaedra’s road trip, Thair visited her, anxious to hear more about this man she would be traveling with to San Francisco. Thair sat on the corner of her mother’s king-sized bed while Phaedra complained about the gigantic thing in her bedroom that her ex-husband had chosen with such zeal. Phaedra hated the size, too big for one 110-pound woman. Thair’s father bought it a year before the divorce, just another symbol of Phaedra’s failed marriage. When they were shopping for a bed, Phaedra asked Gordon, “Do you think we can get a queen-sized bed this time?”
“No.”
A one-word response. That’s how Thair’s father communicated. Phaedra admitted it was partly her fault; she usually never stood up to that man, not until it came to signing the house papers. Thair could still hear her father’s voice as she hid in her bedroom: “If you want this divorce so god damn bad, Phaedra, we’re selling the house and splitting the money.”
Like the transformation of a hummingbird who feels attacked, Phaedra’s chest inflated, her wings spread, her claws unleashed, “We are NOT selling the house. Where do you expect me and Thair to live?” He had huffed and puffed, but he was no match for Thair’s mother during these unexpected moments of power. All Phaedra wanted was the house. No alimony, no child support. But she wanted her home. It was her sanctuary, the one place in the world where she was happy, serene. It was her little piece of paradise.
Phaedra had been divorced now for fifteen years, and the emptiness she expressed initially was quickly replaced with strength and clarity. She loved her daughter, her hobbies, her home, her solitude. Not much could shake her.
As they lay side by side on the king-sized bed, Phaedra told Thair in detail all about the day she had met Robert. “It was an early Saturday morning, and I had just taken my morning swim.” Thair could picture it, her mom’s twenty laps, done in twenty minutes in her modest pool. Phaedra was no professional swimmer, and her head-out-of-the-water freestyle was not necessarily a stroke to be admired, but her morning ritual kept her in good shape and gave her endless energy.
“So after my swim, I put on my ratty jeans, my favorite pink T-shirt from the Susan G. Koman five-mile walk that we did, and my large straw hat.” She told Thair how she had picked at some weeds, planted a new rose bush, trimmed her orange tree, pruned her lemon tree, cut down her browning bougainvillea so that new, burgundy flowers could bloom. Thair knew her mother loved being outside, in the sun, in her garden, pampering her own personal Eden.
While crouched on a knee pad, she explained, she heard Greta outside talking to an elderly gentleman. She looked up, waved, and went back to her gardening. “I was so engrossed in my task that I didn’t even notice when Greta and the man came over. Anyway, his name is Robert, and he and Greta’s husband used to work together at General Engineering.”
Phaedra said she took off her gloves, wiped her somewhat sweaty hand on her jeans, and stuck it out. “I was going to apologize for the way I looked but thought: what the heck!” She laughed while saying this. Phaedra continued talking excitedly, describing the man as trim, nicely dressed, and clean-shaven, a bit old but a real gentleman who drove a Mercedes and opened doors for women.
“So, Greta told me that they were trying to decide where to go for lunch, and Robert said he had a craving for Greek food. Greta thought I may have a restaurant to recommend. Of course, I told them about The Acropolis Garden.” Thair hated that place. “Anyway, he called the next day and you know the rest.”
It had been ages since Phaedra had gone on a date, partly because she was so picky. Phaedra had been introduced to an affluent lifestyle with “The American,” and though she would rarely admit it, money still mattered. Five years before, she had casually dated a simple man, Peter, a plumber, ten years her junior. He had become smitten with Phaedra right from the first date, and though she liked him too, when Thair asked how it was going, it was already over. Phaedra had ended it before it had even started because “he wasn’t really presentable.” His long, mousey hair and forever-plaid shirt did not meet Phaedra’s standards. Ironically, he did have money and took her to nice places, but he just didn’t fit the bill even if he could pay for it.
Instead of romance, for the last few years Phaedra had been painting, crocheting, gardening. Normally a bit miserly, on a whim, she took out some money from savings, money that she had been saving for Thair’s inheritance, and decided to remodel her home, excited to see parquet again. Ripping out old carpet, laying down wood. How funny, Thair thought, in her mother’s middle age she was making a full circle back, returning to the things she had tried to escape from as a young girl growing up in Greece. Phaedra had hated her family home with dusty, wooden floors, yearning for floor-to-floor carpeting, carpeting like the one that warmed the Hilton’s hallway. Even the air conditioner that Phaedra had yearned for was no longer a priority. It had broken down the year before; between not wanting to spend the money to get it fixed and telling her daughter that her aging bones desired warmth rather than cold, it became another superfluous extravagance, a symbol of her American dream that had dissipated. Phaedra had a new dream, one of quiet, of serenity, of peace. The only piece of the puzzle still missing, she would tell her daughter relentlessly, was for Thair to get married and have children. Then her life would be complete. So as Phaedra effused about Robert, Thair was thrilled that her mom was finally interested in someone again—and would focus less on her daughter’s life.
It was about a month later when Phaedra was working in her garden that a car pulled up. The happiness shone on her face when she saw Thair’s Miata. The visit was quite unexpected: Thair rarely drove inland on weekends. So excited to see her daughter, Phaedra jumped to her feet and waved. When Jessica got out of the car, Phaedra’s face dropped.
“Hi, Mom,” Thair said as she simultaneously gave her mom a hug and a kiss on the cheek.
“Hi, Thair,” Phaedra responded in a monotonous voice.
“Mom, this is Jessica.”
Trying to muster a smile from somewhere, “Of course, we have spoken on the phone a few times.”
“Hi!” Jessica said with enthusiasm, almost knocking Phaedra off her feet while giving her an unsolicited hug. Though Jessica was only 5’10”, she looked like a giant beside Thair’s petite mother.
Once Phaedra had collected herself, she said, “So what brings you girls this way?”
“We were just out driving, and decided since it was such a nice day, we would come visit you. Maybe sit by the pool, have a drink.”
“That sounds like fun … um, why didn’t you call?”
“Call?” Thair felt affronted. “Since when do I have to call?”
Jessica seemed suddenly uncomfortable, looking away, but then Phaedra responded, “No, honey, that’s not what I meant. I’m just glad I’m home. I would have hated to have missed you.”
She continued to stare at Jessica, but then replaced her curious gaze with her winning smile. “Come on, girls, let’s go in the house. I just bought some excellent margarita mix!”
Jessica beamed. The visit was indeed unexpected. Jess had no idea that they were on their way to Thair’s mother’s house; they had planned on going to the beach, but a sudden turn onto the freeway led them to Rancho Fierno. Jessica had been asking Thair for the last few months when she would get to meet Phaedra, but Thair would always make excuses. The truth was, and Jessica knew this, that Thair was petrified. How would Thair’s mother react, and was Thair truly prepared for all the different possibilities?
So far, Thair was pleased. So far, so good, she thought. She invited them in even if her initial reaction was less than welcoming.
As they walked in, Jess affectionately touched Thair’s shoulder. Thair instantly jumped, then looked back at her partner with scolding eyes, eyes that screamed: no touching!
Upon entering, Thair immediately felt a bit suffocated; the heat in Rancho Fierno was unbearable. Outside the
re was a slight breeze, but inside not even a molecule of dust stirred.
“Mom, why don’t you have the air-conditioning on?”
“I haven’t had a chance to fix it yet, and I guess I don’t really miss it.” Thair laughed at the irony; she used to hate air-conditioning and her mom loved it. She realized things do change.
Phaedra took off her hat and looked quite disheveled, but with her huge smile, her face lit up. Thair thought her mother looked absolutely lovely. Maybe she will be okay with my relationship after all, Thair wondered.
“Girls, just give me a moment to get cleaned up, and I’ll be right out.”
As Jess paced the living room, picking up frames, admiring photos of Thair and Phaedra, Thair looked at her lover from behind. Jess was so masculine, from her mannerisms to her walk, to her tight almost-boyish butt, to her long, strong legs. What a different type of woman than her one-time Sappho-girl. Jess was like a bull in a china shop; every time she set down a picture frame, Thair could literally see the shelf shake.
“Thair, just so I know, since you didn’t prepare me, are we going to tell her? Am I here just as your friend? Am I allowed to show you any affection?” Jess was always up front, and Thair normally loved that about her. She always communicated clearly what she thought, what she felt. The problem was Thair hadn’t thought any of this through. Driving to her mother’s house was a spur-of-the-moment decision, no premeditation, no idea what she was doing. She didn’t have a plan. If she told Jessica that they were here as “friends,” she knew she would hurt Jessica’s feelings, and she certainly didn’t want to do that, but if she told her mother about Jessica, she took the chance of hurting the other person whom she loved more than anyone in this world.
Thoughts raced through Thair’s mind: What does one do? Mom, sit down, I want to tell you about my sex life. I have sex with a woman. This is the woman. Oh, and by the way, I love her, too. Why did it have to be so complicated? If she had shown up with a handsome gent, it would have been clear to Phaedra that there was a romantic connection, so why did she even have to explain anything to Phaedra? Why did it have to be different?
But Thair knew it was different. If she had come with a man, and they were sitting by the pool, and the man put his hand on Thair’s or gave her a little peck, Phaedra would not have reacted. She would have thought it normal, probably Thair’s new boyfriend. She would have known the person was someone Thair obviously really liked because she had brought him home to meet Phaedra, The Mother. But now, the rules had all changed. What to say, what to do?
“Jess, I’m sorry. I haven’t thought about it. Can we hold off on the physical affection? But I will not say you are just my friend because you are so, so much more.” As Thair said this to Jessica, she touched her cheek, but quickly dropped her hand when she heard Phaedra’s bedroom door opening and her mother approaching.
Phaedra appeared dressed in a one-piece black swimsuit and a white, jean skort. Her tan legs looked like those of a teenager and did not match the face of a woman in her fifties. Still, she looked adorable, almost bouncy. When she walked into the kitchen, she seemed to be in a fabulous mood. Was this the ostrich sticking its head deep in the hole?
“So, Jessica—”
“Please, call me Jess.”
“Okay, Jess … actually, do you mind if I call you Jessica. It’s such a pretty name, so feminine.”
Thair had no idea what her mother was thinking, implying, what she was doing, but Jess, always agreeable in sticky situations replied, “Sure. My mom calls me Jessica, too.”
“Okay, great, so Jessica it is. That is, if you really don’t mind.” Thair’s mother feigned politeness, but she was obviously pleased to have gotten her way.
“No, that’s fine, really.”
“Okay, Jessica, an important question …” Thair’s heart was beating fast. “How do you like your margaritas?”
Jessica happily responded, “On the rocks would be great, but only one because I am the designated driver today.”
“Okay. Honey, what about you?”
“The same, Mama. Do you have any Grand Marnier?”
“I just bought some! It was on sale at CVS, another of my splurges.” She giggled in a childish way, “Can you get it for me? It’s in the liquor cabinet.”
“Sure. Hey, Jess, do you want to put on your bathing suit?” Thair asked.
“Sure. It’s so nice outside. A dip sounds refreshing.”
“If you go down the hallway, on the left, you will see my old room. You won’t be able to miss it. It’s a piece of pink heaven.” Thair said this sarcastically, wanting to say pink hell but decided, why ruin the mood?
“Okay,” Jess replied as she disappeared into the back of the house.
Thair got the Grand Marnier for her mother, “I think I’ll go change, too.”
Thair noticed her mother’s body twitch a bit, “Thair, you can use my room if you want.”
“That’s okay,” she said with a mix of courage and rebellion.
Thair opened the door to her childhood cell and saw the pink canopy bed. Who even had canopy beds anymore? She could not believe that her mother had left her bedroom the same, untouched, for the last fifteen years. Thair saw her Pink Panther on the bed, looking a bit tired and old, but with the same stupid grin on his face. Jess, a bit startled when Thair opened the door, instantly relaxed when she saw her girlfriend there with her beach bag.
Before Thair could say anything, Jessica grabbed her and started to kiss her passionately as her hands traveled everywhere.
“Stop!” Thair said with a smirk. “We’ll get caught!”
“And if we do?” Jess said between kisses.
“You are very, very naughty,” Thair said, controlling her giggles. She indeed did feel naughty. The last time she tried to keep this quiet in her room was when she snuck her seventeen-year-old boyfriend in through the window to spend the night. Those were her rebellious days. Now though, she felt that same sense of naughtiness and intense excitement.
“Want a quickie?” Jess said as she began moving down on Thair’s body with kisses.
“NO! Behave yourself, young lady!” Thair said in her teacherly voice as she motioned for Jessica to get up. “I just came to change. And I can see you are already dressed, so I think it’s time for you to go,” her tone playful.
With an affected pout, Jessica opened the door and walked out in her very boyish board shorts. Again, so different than Greek-girl, Thair thought, but equally beautiful—in an absolutely opposing way.
When Thair came out in her Brazilian, almost X-rated black bathing suit, she could feel Jessica’s eyes hungrily eating her up. A slight crimson flushed her cheeks when she took the first sip of her Cadillac Margarita. Thair knew she would be having a few of these today. The tension in her shoulders was intense, but certainly no massages in front of Mother.
“So, tell me, Jessica, how long have you been teaching?”
“Gosh, it must be about twenty years now. I started at the ripe age of twenty-two.”
Thair sat back with her eyes closed, allowing the sun to burn her face and warm her body. After a while it was as if the TV was on, but the volume was off. She watched her mother’s and lover’s mouths move, but she didn’t hear the words. She became a bit too relaxed with the sun and the margarita.
Jessica and Phaedra continued to talk and laugh and were getting along so well. The afternoon was gorgeous, the swimming pool sparkled invitingly, and the drinks expelled all the tension from Thair’s body. Jessica had stopped after one margarita, Phaedra was a lightweight at two, and Thair was well into her fourth. She was so pleased that the visit was going so well, she didn’t realize how much she was drinking. When she got up to go to the bathroom, she was quite dizzy. Upon returning, without thinking, she stood for a while behind Jessica, resting her hand on Jess’s shoulder. It could have been a meaningless gesture between two friends, but when Phaedra saw her daughter’s hand lying on the shoulder of this woman, her face went blan
k.
Thair sensed her mother’s discomfort and lifted her hand. Then, without planning it, and without knowing exactly why, she reacted. (Was she still that rebellious girl? Did she want to bring her mother fast forward into the year 2003? Was she irritated by her mother’s reaction from just a hand on the shoulder? Or was she just a bit drunk and throwing inhibition into the wind? Whatever it was, it was certainly done with little thought of the consequences.) She took her hand off of Jessica’s shoulder then leaned down and gave her lover a passionate kiss on the lips. Jessica pulled away, but it was too late. The deed was already done. Nonchalantly Thair plopped down into the poolside recliner and again shut her eyes, feeling very lightheaded.
Phaedra rose to her feet, looking a bit unstable, “Excuse me,” she said in a polite, proper, and presentable manner.
She walked into the house and went straight into her bedroom.
Jessica looked at Thair and said, “Baby, I don’t think that was such a good idea. I think you need to go talk to your mother.”
Thair harrumphed and got to her feet as they wobbled below her.
Jessica jumped up and stabilized her while gently turning her towards the house. “Thair, go speak to her. Please, be gentle. I know you’ve had quite a bit to drink, so please, try to be kind.”
“ME? Me be kind?” The alcohol was making its devilish head apparent.
“Thair, maybe I should go talk to her.”
“Are you crazy?”
Jessica could have felt attacked, but instead said, “Sweetie, maybe we should just leave.”
Instantly, Thair calmed down. Jessica’s loving voice had this effect on her.
“I’m okay. Really. Sorry. I didn’t mean to speak to you that way. I’ll be back. It’ll be okay.”
Thair saw that her mom’s bedroom door was shut, but without asking, opened it quietly. She did not see her mother initially. Walking in slowly, towards the master bathroom, she found Phaedra sitting on the closed toilet seat, tears falling from her eyes.
The Greek Persuasion Page 17