Balancing it All : BDSM Dark Romance (Punishment Pit Book 4)

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Balancing it All : BDSM Dark Romance (Punishment Pit Book 4) Page 4

by Livia Grant


  “That was yesterday. Today he told me flat outright that he’ll be doing all of the thinking in this relationship. Period. End of story. I knew he was too good to be true.”

  Brianna kept digging for more info. “That doesn’t sound like the Lukus I met.”

  “Those were his exact words… well, almost.”

  “Maybe, but what happened before he said those words?”

  Tiff had called her best friend for comfort, not to be grilled. “Does it matter?”

  “Yes, and you know it matters. We all say stupid things sometimes. We all do stupid things sometimes. Look at me. Last week I was the poster child for stupid.”

  That brought a snort out of Tiff. “You can say that again.”

  “Ouch. You can pull your claws back in. I’m not the enemy here.”

  “I know, but I couldn’t resist. I still can’t believe you let Jake touch you again. You’re the luckiest woman on the planet to have found Markus. He’s perfect.”

  “Don’t look now, but so is Lukus.”

  Tiff gave another unladylike snort, realizing she’d been doing that a lot lately. “I wish.” She sighed. “He sure had us both fooled.”

  “What did he do?”

  “He lost it. He was dragging me down to the dungeon, where he was going to do God only knows what to me. I’ve never been so scared in my life.”

  “Why would he do that? What happened?”

  “He was mad. I get it. I screwed up, but that doesn’t mean he gets to hurt me, does it?”

  “Tiff, honey, he is a Dom. You do realize you are signing up for a BDSM relationship, right? He’s spanked you several times this week, and you didn’t complain before.”

  “That was different. Those were fun. Those were part of the play. Tonight was, well, he was different. Out of control. I could tell he really wanted to hurt me. It was the first time he acted like the Master’s Master with me; it scared the shit out of me, Bri. I’m not you. I don’t like pain.”

  “Okay, okay. But that doesn’t sound like Lukus. He doesn’t lose control, so if he was out of control, he wasn’t being your Master, he was just being an asshole. What did you do?” Bri asked again.

  “Grrr! I called you to help me, not take his side.”

  “Calm down. I’m not on his side, Tiff. I’m just trying to put the pieces together here. It’s not adding up. The Lukus I know is calm and methodical, even when he’s angry. Believe me, I know. I’ve made him really angry.”

  “No offense, but I’m not sure you’re the best judge of Lukus Mitchell. I think I’ve spent just a little bit more time with him than you have.” The sharp edge of Tiff’s tone could cut glass.

  “Wow, no wonder he’s pissed. You’re acting like a real bitch.”

  “Screw you, Brianna.”

  “No, thanks. Markus just took care of that for me.”

  Tiff couldn’t help but chuckle at her friend’s attempt at humor, as crass as it was. It served to lighten the mood again. “Lucky you. I thought you were at some boring charity thingy.”

  “We are. We found an out-of-the-way deserted bathroom.”

  “Sounds like fun.”

  “Yes it was—until you and Lukus called,” Bri said.

  “What do you mean? Lukus isn’t here.”

  Tiffany could hear Bri’s laughter at the other end. “We knew something big had happened. Lukus was calling Markus’s phone at the same time you were calling mine. But, back to the question of the hour. What happened, really?”

  “I was stupid, okay? He told me not to go into the club, but I just wanted to take a peek. I was curious, you know? I didn’t expect the world’s most dangerous Dom to be there, or that he would hit on me, and that the whole club would stop and watch us like we were center stage.”

  “Oh Tiff, you didn’t.” It was not a question. Tiffany could hear her best friend’s disapproval.

  “I did. Not my finest hour.”

  “And you think Lukus doesn’t deserve to be angry?”

  “Of course, he can be angry. He can yell at me like I deserve and we can have a knock-down-drag-out argument about it, but that doesn’t give him the right to drag me to the dungeon to scare the shit out of me.”

  “We’ve talked about this,” Bri said. “Lukus has never been in a relationship like this before. He’s going to keep falling back on what he knows when he has to deal with the emotional upheavals he is facing. At least it sounds like he got control before he took it too far.”

  “Actually, I have Derek to thank for that. He came up and stopped Lukus from taking me downstairs. They’re out in the living room right now. They sent me back to the bedroom for a time-out, like I’m an eight-year-old or something. How humiliating.”

  “Would you rather he’d kept going downstairs?”

  “No.” Even as Tiff said it, a cloud of doubt hovered over her. “I guess not.”

  “You don’t sound too sure there.”

  “I don’t know. What I do know for sure is that I don’t want him to stay mad at me. And more than anything, I know I don’t want what we’ve started to end yet. I really thought…”

  Bri finished her sentence for her. “You thought he was the one.”

  Tiff sighed, a lump coming to her throat. “Yeah, I so want him to be. I’ve never felt like this before, Bri. It scares me.”

  “Does it scare you more than the threat of his punishment?”

  Tiff pondered that for a minute. “It’s a toss-up, I guess. I know I don’t want to lose him over something so stupid.”

  “Then don’t. You’re both gonna calm down, and then you need to talk about it. Don’t hold back. Tell him how you’re feeling. Make him talk to you, too. It’s what Markus and I are finally doing and I can’t tell you how great it feels. Everything will work out. You’ll see.”

  “Maybe.”

  “Not maybe. I’ve seen you guys together. It’s gonna be fine.”

  “I hope you’re right, Bri.” A knock on Tiff’s bathroom door interrupted the girls’ conversation. He must still have been mad, because the knock was echoing loudly enough for Brianna to comment on the other end.

  “Wow, where are you and why does it sound like he’s about to kick down the door?”

  “I’m in the bathroom, the little part where the toilet is.”

  Bri sounded disgusted. “Ew. You called me while you’re going to the bathroom? That’s just gross.”

  “Will you stop already? I just came in here because it’s the only door that has a lock on it.”

  The pounding was back. “Tiffany! Open up. Come on. We need to talk.” The sound of Lukus’s voice brought back her panic.

  “Seriously? You felt like you had to put a locked door between you? Holy shit, he really did scare you. You need to tell him, Tiff.”

  The pounding continued as Lukus kept trying to open the door. “I don’t think I need to tell him. He is pretty much figuring it out,” Tiff said.

  The pounding stopped. “Please, baby. Open up. We need to talk.” He was changing tactics.

  “Go away, Lukus! I’m not ready to talk yet.”

  “I know that’s not true. You’re talking to Brianna right now. Hang up the phone and open the door.”

  “Fine, I’m not ready to talk to you yet. Go away.”

  “I’m not leaving. Don’t make me try to find the key. God only knows where I’ve put it.”

  Brianna was talking in her ear again. “Tiff, open the door and talk to him. I have to go anyway. I hear Markus outside the door and we’ve been gone a long time from our table.”

  “Thanks for listening, Bri. I really don’t know what I’d do without you in my life.”

  “You’d be bored, that’s for sure. Go take your lumps. Trust me. Make-up sex can be really awesome.”

  “So I’ve heard. Unfortunately, I have to get through the argument first. My ass is not looking forward to that.”

  Tiff could now hear Markus close to the phone. “You girls have talked long enough. Time to hang up
. Let’s go,” he said.

  “We were just hanging up. I’m trying to calm her down. Here, take the phone. You talk to her,” Bri responded.

  “Brianna, no! I don’t want to talk to—”

  He interrupted her. “So, you snuck into the club and decided to have a run-in with Robinson.”

  “Markus. Go ahead. Let me have it. I’m stupid, and I should stop thinking, and just act like a robot, and do exactly, and only, what Lukus tells me to do and—”

  He was laughing at her. “Stop. You’re overreacting more than he is. Seriously, you need to hang up the phone and talk to him.”

  “Last time I saw him, he wasn’t planning on talking.”

  “Well, he is now. I’m hanging up.” And he did.

  “How rude,” Tiffany muttered to herself.

  The pounding was back. “I can hear you in there. Open the door, Tiff. Please, baby.”

  She took a few deep breaths to calm herself, using a few sheets of toilet paper to clean up her smeared make-up. The loud blowing of her nose brought a chuckle from the man on the other side of the locked door. At least he sounded in a better mood.

  She was seated on the floor with her back against the far wall of the small room. Taking a deep breath, she reached up to unlock the door and Lukus pressed the door open. The room was tiny, meant only for privacy when using the toilet. It was not meant to be a place to hang out. When Tiffany made no move to get up to leave, he let himself in. Leaning back against the now closed door, he slid down to sit back against the door. Their legs intertwined in a tangled mess in the small space.

  “This is an odd place for us to make up.”

  Tiff snuck a glance up to see he was smiling. “Is that what we’re going to do?”

  “Yep. You’re going to say you’re sorry for not listening and defying me by going to the club without me. Most importantly, you’re going to admit I was right to not want you to go there alone, especially since we haven’t gone through the club rules yet and you weren’t wearing my collar to keep you safe. Then I’m going to say I’m sorry for ‘losing my shit,’ as Derek calls it, and scaring the hell out of you in the process.” Lukus reached out to take her hands in his, linking their fingers as if to start weaving them back together. “I really am sorry, baby. You have to believe me. That’s never happened to me before. I would never hurt you intentionally.”

  “I’ve never seen you like that, Lukus. It scared me.”

  “Full disclosure here. I scared myself,” he admitted.

  Her gaze flew up to meet his with that comment. “What do you mean?”

  He took a few long seconds before he responded. “The only answer I can come up with is that I don’t think I’ve ever cared enough about anyone else to get so emotionally invested before. Part of me is still pissed that you’d defy me. You have to know—that never happens to me. Ever. It’s gonna take some time for me to get used to that happening. Tack on how scared I was when I saw Robinson with his hands on you, and I lost it, okay? I’m not proud, but there it is.”

  She saw real regret in his eyes. She knew he was telling the truth, and it made her feel better—and worse. “I really am sorry I didn’t listen to you and come straight up to the loft. I didn’t think it would be such a big deal to take a peek. I was curious. You may not be used to having someone defy you, but honey, you have to know I’m not used to having someone telling me what to do all the time. It’s going to take some time for me to adjust, too.”

  “Tiff, I’ve been too afraid to ask this question all week, but I can’t ignore it anymore.” He looked nervous, which put her more on edge. “You refuse to talk about a contract. You have nightmares of Jake hurting you every night. You’ve refused to pick out a safeword other than yellow/red. Now, seeing your reaction tonight to the possibility of a real punishment—it feels like you’re having second thoughts. Are you even interested in a D/s relationship?”

  Tiff was floored. She’d thought she had been doing so great adjusting all week, yet his list of the things she’d been resisting was accurate. She could see he was nervously awaiting her answer. It felt like there was a lot riding on it. She had a sudden need for a hug, and launched herself forward to plop herself in his lap. Lukus instantly enveloped her in his arms, holding her tightly. After a minute of quiet cuddling, she leaned away from him so she could see his eyes.

  “I can’t believe you’re asking me that after all we’ve talked about this week, Lukus. This week has been, well, amazing! I’ve never felt more alive than when I’m with you. But here’s the thing: sometimes it feels like we’re playing a game of tug of war. A week ago, we started out on opposite ends of the BDSM experience rope. This week, we’ve both been taking steps forward where I hope we can find a place to meet in the middle, but every once in a while, one of us tugs too hard and upsets the balance.”

  “Wow. I like that analogy. You nailed it. That’s exactly what’s happening. I think we both tugged a little too hard tonight.”

  “You think? Seriously, I really am sorry, but I’m going to make some mistakes while I try to figure this out. I need you to be patient with me. Please,” she said.

  “Patient. I guess I can do that, as long as you can too.”

  “So, do you forgive me?”

  “I will.”

  “But not yet?”

  “Nope, not until you’ve been properly punished like the naughty girl you are.”

  Tiff wasn’t sure she liked that twinkle in his eye. “But, well, you said we weren’t going to go downstairs,” she said.

  “And I meant it. I have plenty of ways to punish you up here.”

  “I’ll say. You have a freaking secret stash in your cabinets.”

  She blushed at the humor in his eyes.

  “So my house guest was rifling through my bathroom cabinets, eh? Find anything interesting?” he asked.

  Tiff’s brain scrolled through the inventory of punishment paraphernalia she’d rummaged through the first time she’d been there. She was getting hung up on the heavy wooden paddle.

  “Ah ha. I see there is something in there that caught your eye.”

  “Just the ankle and wrist cuffs, but you used those last week,” she admitted. It sounded plausible. Her ass couldn’t deal with that heavy paddle… yet.

  “Nothing else?”

  She tried a change-o-subject deflection. “Nope. Let’s go eat. I’m hungry.”

  Lukus chuckled. “Dinner is already burned, and now cold. A few more minutes won’t hurt. I want you sitting on your sore bottom while you eat dinner tonight. It’ll be a reminder of what happens to naughty girls who defy their Dom. Now, if you don’t tell me what caught your eye in the cabinet, I’ll be forced to pick my own form of punishment. Maybe I should pick the…”

  “Not the enema. I swear to God, not the enema.”

  His laughing was renewed while he hugged her close. “Not the enema. I have to be in the right mood for that one, anyway. You’re safe for now.”

  “Oh, gee. Thanks.”

  “I would recommend you watch that sass, at least when we’re discussing which punishment implement I’m going to use,” he added.

  “Fair enough. What’s wrong with using your hand?”

  “Not for a real punishment.” He got up, helping her to her feet, and led her into the larger bathroom, then stopped them in front of the long bathroom counter with its full wall mirror. Turning them to face the mirror, he stepped behind her to hug her tight against his chest. Tiff loved that they could see each other’s eyes. She could see his were brimming with a mix of lust and anticipation. She was reminded that this man truly liked to punish her, and she wasn’t sure how she felt about that.

  Well duh. He owns a BDSM club that he named The Punishment Pit.

  Lukus eventually stepped away from her, leaving her feeling vulnerable. She tracked him as he opened a nearby drawer and pulled out an assortment of punishment devices, lining them up in front of her. A few surprised her. “These are all pretty lightweight in t
he wide spectrum of things. I think I’ll use each of them tonight so you can feel the difference in them,” he said thoughtfully.

  “Oh, great. Not just one, but three spankings.”

  “One spanking. Three implements.”

  “Same thing,” she said.

  “Not quite. Get undressed, baby.”

  “But—”

  “Always bare.”

  “I’ll take off my skirt then.”

  “Let me rephrase. Always naked,” he said.

  “But—”

  “One…”

  “I hate when you count.”

  “New rule. This is a punishment. There’s no talking back.”

  She was close to opening her mouth with another retort when he lifted two fingers up to calmly shush her. The calm Dom was back and in full control. Their eyes remained locked while the power exchange charged the air between them. Every long second sealed her fate. She could deny it all she wanted, but she’d loved every single thing this man had done to her this week. Tonight, that meant she was going to get naked and spanked.

  As their eyes held each other captive, she seductively unbuttoned her blouse before sliding it off, and dropping it to the floor. Her pencil skirt followed. By the time her sexy strip tease had her unfastening her bra, Lukus’s attention had left her eyes and moved to his first glimpse of her heavy breasts as she released them from her lacy black bra. She was trembling slightly as her black panties followed the rest of her clothes to the pile on the floor. The only thing left were her three-inch, high-heeled sandals.

  “Leave those on. They’re sexy.” His hot-coals smile greeted her in the mirror. Her heart rate jumped accordingly.

  “I thought this was about punishment, not sex.”

  “Oh, baby, the two are weaved together so tightly in my twisted brain, it’s hard to have one without the other,” he told her.

  Well, that explains a few things.

  “Good to know.”

  Luckily, he grinned at her sassy response. Then Lukus took her by the hand and positioned her closer to the counter. He pulled her hands forward, placing them flat on the marble surface, close to the mirror, forcing her ass to jut out as she leaned over. He used his feet to move her legs farther from the counter, and much wider apart. As he stepped back to admire her from behind, she knew she was spread open wide enough that he had to be able to see her glistening wet pussy. Embarrassed, she lowered her head.

 

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