I huff and sit back on the chair. Then, I grab my phone off the couch and dial my dad. It rings and rings, then nothing. I dial again.
Nothing.
Dial again.
Nothing.
After a few minutes of silence, my phone vibrates on the table.
“Dad?” I ask, holding my breath.
“Hi, honey,” he says. “This has to be quick. But I saw you called a few times, and I wanted to make sure you’re alright.”
“I’m fine,” I tell him. He lets out a breath on the other end of the line. “Dad, I need you to be straight with me, because no one else will. Tell me what’s happening. Tell me why Dominic is meeting with every fucking gang member in New York. Please.”
There’s a pause, and for a second, I think he hung up.
“Oh, sweetheart,” he whispers, and I can tell he’s choked up. I cover my mouth with my hand. “There’s so much to this story. But the gist is that I...I owe Johnny Dexter over one hundred thousand dollars, baby.”
My heart drops to my stomach.
“It’s money I’d never be able to pay back in a million years. And the truth is, Johnny has killed for a lot less.”
My heart drops to the floor.
“So, why…” I start to ask, but I can’t even bring myself to form the words.
“Why am I still alive?” he asks. I nod, despite the fact that he can’t see me. “Well, baby, that’s what Dominic is trying to figure out. The only explanation is that there’s something that I have that Johnny wants. We just don’t know what it is.”
I try and control my breathing, but it feels like the huge privacy fence around the yard is closing in on me.
“I’m sorry for all of this, baby. I’m so sorry. And please just know that, no matter what, I love you. I have to go.”
Click.
I go inside and up to my room, stripping out of my bathing suit and taking a long, hot shower. And as the water pounds down on my skin, I lean my head against the tile wall and cry, letting the tears stream off my face and into the water that flows from the showerhead.
I get myself together and get out, dry off, and put on a pair of pajama shorts and one of Dom’s t-shirts. I walk out of my room and across the hall, looking down the steps to the study where Gio is likely sitting until Dom gets home. I sigh and push Dom’s door open then shut it behind me. I crawl into his bed and tug the covers up around me, his scent washing me in a tiny bit of comfort.
I’m sick of my life being a lie.
I’m sick of all the people I love having to keep secrets to keep me safe.
I’m sick of lying here in this bed, in this house, day after day, while they go to war trying to figure out how to keep my father and me alive.
I roll over and grab my phone off his nightstand, scrolling through my contacts until I find her.
The one person who can help me navigate this world.
I’m the little fish in the big mob world.
She’s the fucking ocean.
It rings once, twice, then stops.
“Hello?” she asks.
I let out a shallow breath I didn’t know I was holding.
“Avie? It’s––”
“Scarlett,” she cuts me off. “What’s going on?”
“I need your help.”
“Scarlett, I––”
“Please,” I beg her. “It’s about Dominic.”
There’s a pause.
“I’ll be there in twenty minutes.”
15
Dominic - Senior Year
I can’t stop thinking about her. I’ve been lying in bed since I snuck back in, staring up at the ceiling, thinking about her. About how I can still live this life I know I was meant to lead. How I can take care of the family just like my dad does. How I can take care of her.
And I have to figure out how to do it all while still getting to be with her.
It feels impossible. But I’ll do it. I’ll do anything to keep her.
I roll over and grab my phone off my nightstand and open a text to her.
We can do hard things, I send off. I love you, I add.
I wait a few minutes, but no reply comes. It’s late. She probably crashed when she got back in the house.
I scroll through the pictures of her that take up all the space on my phone, some of us together, some she doesn’t even know I took. Just simple pictures of her looking out over the water at Coney Island, her tucking her hair behind her ear as she walks down the sidewalk. They take my breath away every single time.
My eyes slowly close as I clutch the phone to my chest, drifting off into an endless dream of her.
The next morning, I wake up early and head down the stairs with a new pep in my step. I know what my dad expects of me, both with the jobs and with the Meluccis. With one, he wants me to fully immerse myself. While my friends and classmates are getting ready to start their college years at big, expensive universities that their parents paid way too much just to get them into, I’ll be helping my dad make the kind of money that’s kept us in this big old house for all these years. That keeps paying the bills at Mom’s home in the Hamptons. That paid for our tuition at our fancy-ass private school.
I’ll keep the tradition of fine living alive in the Castiano family.
And I’ll even be able to make the kind of money that means endless possibilities for my own future. A future that will include Scarlett Melucci. Once I get enough work under my belt, make enough important friends, secure and control enough enemies, I know my dad won’t give two fucks about who I’m hanging around as long as our family stays on top.
And we will.
I stroll into the kitchen and snag a bagel off the platter that Silla has put out, snagging a huge bite of it before I even reach for the butter or cream cheese. I’m humming a tune while I open up the refrigerator and grab the orange juice. When I close the door, I jump at the sight of Silla standing behind it, a look of worry on her face.
“Morning, Silla,” I say, my shoulders dropping when I notice the expression. “You okay?”
She sighs then reaches around and pulls something out of her back pocket. I look down at the white paper trembling in her aging hands. My heart stops when I see my name on the front, written in Scarlett’s unmistakable, ultra-perfect handwriting. “What is that?”
She takes a step toward me and holds it out.
“She dropped it off as I was coming in this morning,” Silla says. “She asked me to give it to you as soon as you came down.”
I look into Silla’s deep brown eyes as I slowly take the paper. “Did she say anything else?” I ask.
She shakes her head and rubs her forehead with her hand.
“She said goodbye,” she whispers, and then she turns and walks out of the kitchen.
I walk out to the backyard slowly, my heart thudding in my chest. I unfold it, and her scent blows off the pages and makes my whole body react.
Dominic,
I know we said we could do hard. But I think we may have been in a little over our heads. This crazy life…it’s catching up to my father, and I think it’s starting to catch up to me.
I won’t let it catch up to you, too—any more than it already has.
You are an incredible person who is going to do incredible things, Dom. And I don’t mean in this “business” that our fathers are in. I mean in your life. Whatever you choose to do, you will be amazing at it.
But as long as you’re in this game with them, and as long as my father owes for the mistakes he’s made, I can’t be here, leading you to more danger. I won’t do it.
I won’t be the reason more trouble finds you. I could never live with myself.
I’m leaving New York to live with my aunt for my senior year. And then I don’t know where life will take me.
I hope you know that you’ve made your mark on me. One that won’t ever be erased.
I’ll love you until the day they put me in the ground, Dominic.
Scarlett
&
nbsp; I stumble toward one of the lawn chairs and plop down onto it. I reread the letter three more times, looking for a glimmer of hope, something that doesn’t make me feel like I’ve been punched in the gut. But there’s no sign of her words not holding their meaning. There’s no sign of a “we’ll see what happens in the future.” There’s no sign of Scarlett and me ever being Scarlett and me again.
Last night, I felt like I could conquer the whole damn world because she was mine.
Today, I feel like the world is imploding, sinking down into a black hole and taking me with it. Because she’s gone. And she’ll never be mine again.
A few hours later, I’m putting on my shoes and coat at the front door just as my dad
comes down the steps. Mick comes in the door and nods to us both.
“Car’s ready,” he says.
Tonight is going to be a big one. We have an unannounced meeting with Tony D’Amico at his restaurant. The restaurant that a client of ours helped fund and was never paid back. It could go nice and smooth. Tony has the money. He might hand it over easily. But he might also put up a fight.
My dad walks toward me and puts a hand on my shoulder. He reaches into the back of his pants and pulls out a gun. I haven’t had one since the first job I did when it went off. Slowly, he hands it to me.
“I think you’re ready to try again,” he says. “You’re doin’ good, kid. I’m proud of you. Let’s roll.”
I look down at the gun in my hand, turning it over a few times before I tuck it into the back of my pants. We walk out of the house and get into the car. Mick is driving with my dad up front and me in the back.
My dad turns to me slowly as Mick pulls out and starts to drive in the direction of D’Amico’s.
“Son, we need to talk,” he says.
My eyes widen as I look at him.
“Mick and I have been talking,” he says. “You’ve been doin’ a real good job. I know that things are tough ‘cause of the Melucci girl. I know you liked her.”
I almost want to laugh at how out of touch my dad can be with his kids.
Liked her doesn’t quite cover it, but I let him go on.
“But I really feel like everything happens for a reason. We have some new, uh, clientele comin’ in from the home country. They want to work with us. It’s going to be big.”
Mick looks at me through the rearview mirror.
“Son, I need you now. I need you to step up. If you want to be in this with us, this business has to be your life. It has to be everything.”
I look out the window for a moment, streaks of buildings and lights and people flashing by.
She is my life. She’s everything.
But now she’s gone.
I turn back to my dad.
“I’m ready.”
16
Dominic - Present
I’m going crazy trying to balance the job of letting her know she’s safe with the job of actually keeping her safe. I’m petrified of letting her step out into the daylight at all, let alone leave the house. I hate keeping her locked up like she’s some sort of fucking princess in a tower, but I don’t know what else to do yet. I have no idea how big the dragon is. And it’s fucking killing me.
She seems to be in good spirits, though, and when she doesn’t, I do my best to, uh, distract her. Whenever I need to go out, Gio is always here. A few times, I’ve asked her to go for drives with me if it’s somewhere off the beaten path, just so she can get out.
I won’t lie, though. Coming home to her every single day, lying in bed with her every single night…it doesn’t feel like a nightmare, it feels like a damn dream. When I think about how crushed I was when she left all those years ago, it hurts all over again. I felt like a fool at the time, thinking I was just a dramatic, lovesick teenager who didn’t really know what love was.
But now that I have her back in my life, I realize that I wasn’t wrong. I was right. I felt that way because I knew, deep down, I’d never love someone the way I loved her. And it turns out, I was right. And now I know that I never will again. She’s the end game for me.
I’m about to ride downtown with Wes to meet with some of my father’s old acquaintances––men who he broke business off with years ago but who are still somewhat connected with Johnny. Getting anyone to give up any information on Dexter is going to be a feat, but I will try anything. I’ll play every card in my hand. But just as he’s about to pull onto the parkway, I reach for his arm.
“Swing back by the house,” I tell him. “I just want to see her real quick.”
It’s times like these, where these guys could totally grind my balls, that I’m lucky I’m their bread and butter. That I’m in charge and they can’t give me shit.
He does what he’s told, making a turn at the next block and swinging back in the direction of the house. He pulls up in front of the house, and I tell him to wait here.
“I’ll be out in five,” I tell him. I’ve been out all day, and I just need a look at her. I hop out of the car and up the steps. When I plug in the code and open the door, I stop in my tracks when I see her at the coat rack, slipping her shoes on. And to her left stands my little sister with her keys in her hand.
“Dom,” Scarlett says, eyes wide. I look from her to Avie then back to Scarlett.
“What’s goin’ on here?” I ask.
“I, uh…I called––” Scarlett starts.
“She’s bored out of her mind, and I need someone to help me pick paint colors. She’s coming with me,” Avie says, arms crossed over her chest. Scarlett just looks at me, eyes wide, as she waits for my reaction. I try not to let my frustration and worry get the best of me. Scarlett doesn’t know how dangerous all of this really is. But my sister––she knows. I blow out a slow breath before I turn to her.
“You didn’t think to call me? Let me know?” I ask her.
“She’s a grown-ass––” Avie starts, but Scarlett steps up closer to me.
“I didn’t think you’d mind since I was just going with Avie. Gio said you were going to be out late, anyway.”
Immediately, I feel my temperature drop. It’s amazing how she can do that.
I reach out and tug her arm, pulling her into me and kissing her for an unapologetically long amount of time. When we come apart, I ignore Ave’s puking noises as I think.
If there’s one person who’s fiercer, more dangerous than Johnny Dexter, it’s my baby sister. She doesn’t look the part, but she’s a fucking one-woman wrecking ball. The only two people I’d trust to keep my girl safe are my brother and sister. And she’s right. I won’t be home, and she’ll just be sitting here all day. I breathe out again and then look at her.
“Okay,” I say. “Call me if you need anything. Anything.”
Scarlett nods, but Avie scoffs.
“What?” I ask.
“Nothing. It’s just funny that you think we were asking permission.” She grabs Scarlett’s hand and walks toward the door. “Bye, brother.”
But as they get to the stoop, I tug on Scarlett’s hand one more time, holding her close while I grasp her head and kiss her again. She smiles as our lips come apart, her eyes opening slowly to look at me.
“I love you,” she tells me just before Avie calls for her one more time. She’s out the door before I even have a chance to say it back. Just as they disappear out the front door, Gio appears at the bottom of the steps. I scoff and roll my eyes.
“Some fucking watchdog you are. Kidnapped right out from under your nose. And by your little sister, no less.”
Gio looks out after them, puzzled. I smile and clap his back.
“Ave’s taking her back to their place. Something about paint colors or something. I think she’s just itching to get out of the house.”
Gio nods suspiciously.
“They’ll be okay,” I assure him, but I’m also trying to reassure myself. “But since she’s gone, you can come with us to D’Amico’s.” Gio nods again, reaching for his jacket and following me out the doo
r.
A few minutes later, Wes, Gio, and I are back on the road, headed downtown. As if I wasn’t anxious enough for where we were going, now I have the added worry of wondering if my sister is still on top of her game when it comes to keeping people safe. I fire off a few text messages to both of them, asking them to let me know when they get to Avie’s.
Avie sends back a few eyeroll emojis, and Scarlett sends back a few kissing ones and tells me she will. I smile and close my phone, looking back out the window as Wes turns down Hayworth Avenue and up to D’Amico’s. He hands the keys to the valet, and we all walk inside. I draw in a long breath as we approach the hostess stand.
“Welcome to D’Amico’s,” the young redheaded hostess says as she picks up three menus. “Just three tonight? Would you like to sit in the dining room or on the patio?”
I clear my throat.
“Actually, I have a meeting with Tony,” I say, my voice hushed as I look at her. She nods slowly and puts the menus down.
“Hold on just one second,” she says, tucking an auburn curl behind her ear as she walks out from behind the stand and heads to the back of the restaurant. I see her knock on a door at the end of the hall. Someone opens it, and she steps closer to say something. She turns back to us then nods. The door closes, and she walks back up to the front.
“Okay, you can follow me,” she says. She knocks on the same door once we get to the end of the hall then quickly turns back toward the front of the restaurant before anyone answers. Gio and I exchange a glance as the door handle turns and pulls open. A man about my age opens it, and our eyes meet. We’ve never met, but I’d put money on it that this is Cal D’Amico, Tony’s oldest son. He’s got lighter hair and, from what I remember, a few inches on his dad. But he has the same thick eyebrows and crooked smile. We lived in different neighborhoods, went to different schools, but we all knew about each other. Anyone whose dad was in the business knew about the others—unless you were Scarlett Melucci, who knew virtually nothing. But that’s another story.
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