She started to speak, but he stopped her with a palm to her mouth and a shake of his head.
“Please, don’t say a word. Just listen. I know I’m ahead of you in this relationship. I get it. I’m antsy. I love you so much it hurts. If I had my way, you’d be picking out that damn china and assembling a crib in one of my spare rooms.”
She flinched at the mention of china and babies, the two things he always joked about his mother saying, though she never once mentioned any such thing while they’d been there. Thank God.
Bracken shook their combined hands again. “I want this to work that badly. So, it scares the hell out of me to discuss any of this with you out of fear you don’t want the same things. I worry I haven’t given you enough time. That you feel pressured. I don’t want you to feel anything like that. So, I’m trying hard to slow down and let you catch up.”
He drew in a deep breath. “I don’t want you to respond to anything I just said. I just want you to know how I feel so there are no doubts in your mind as we move forward. Nothing changes between us. We’re going to travel across the country at our leisure, enjoy the sights, make love in a bunch of hotel rooms, and sing loudly to old songs in the car.
“We’re going to pretend none of our problems exist for the next week and enjoy ourselves. When we get home, we’ll go back to normal. The only difference will be that you’ll know how I feel. I won’t mention it again. Not a word. You take your time. When you’re ready to take a step forward, let me know, however small it is. I’ll make it happen.”
He released her hand, grabbed the back of her neck, and hauled her face closer, sealing his speech with a hard kiss.
She was stunned speechless, and apparently, that was what he wanted, so she didn’t even try to say anything.
“We good?”
She nodded.
“I haven’t sent you into a panic?”
She shook her head.
“Good.” He smiled, released her, and put the car in drive.
Her heart was pounding as he continued driving down the highway. So many thoughts went through her mind. It was all so overwhelming. He was offering her the moon, and yet she felt hesitant. It seemed too good to be true. She’d only met him five weeks ago. Yes, she was as in love with him as he was with her, but how could they possibly know it would last?
She had no experience with love or this kind of commitment. She didn’t even think she’d witnessed this type of relationship with her own parents. They shared a life and a path, but she’d never once seen them share the kind of affection she received from Bracken.
She stared out the window for a long time, processing his speech. He was basically all in. Marriage. Kids. House. Bakery. The entire package. What if they realized in a few months that they weren’t as interested in each other as they felt like today while things were so fresh and new?
Bex was far too skittish to commit to even one part of Bracken’s proposal. She needed time, and he was giving it to her, so there was no reason to panic.
His reassuring hand landed on hers on top of her thigh as he drove, squeezing, letting her know he was there, that he cared a fuck of a lot, that he wasn’t going anywhere, that he meant every word.
She turned her gaze to him and drew in a long breath. Bracken was fine. There was indeed no reason to panic, nor did he expect her to return his sentiment. She even sort of understood why he’d said all of that. He’d laid out all of his cards so she would know. It couldn’t have been easy for him. He’d put his heart out there.
As soon as she fully grasped there was no pressure here, she smiled and released a deep breath. This trip was going to be filled with memories. Hopefully, it would be the start of a lifetime of memories that would fill dozens of photo albums for years to come.
For now, all she needed to do was relax and let Bracken show her the sights. He had an itinerary all lined up. It was going to be an amazing trip. She would let her problems go for the time being. When they got home, then she could face her emotional and financial problems. Not today. Not this week. Not while Bracken was offering her the universe.
Chapter 24
The next seven days were some of the best in Bracken’s life. He didn’t mention their future a single time, and neither did Bex. He was relieved she was able to put aside his lengthy confession and enjoy herself. He was equally glad to be able to spend every moment of every hour proving to her that he was the entire package.
When they got back to Dallas, he drove them straight to his house, not mentioning her condo. After unpacking and doing a few loads of laundry, Bex came up behind him where he sat at his desk going through emails. She wrapped her arms around his neck from behind and set her chin on his shoulder. “I’m going to go home for a bit, spend some time with Shayla and the rest of the girls. I feel like I need to connect with them.”
He spun around and pulled her between his legs, hands on her hips, meeting her gaze. “Okay. I’m sure it will be good for all of you. Will you be back later tonight?”
She gave a slight shrug. “Not sure. Might sleep there tonight.”
He nodded and then pulled her closer to kiss her gently. His heart was flipping over inside with worry. Maybe it was unfounded, but he couldn’t be sure. She wasn’t saying enough. It was possible she simply needed to connect with her friends. He totally understood that. But was she putting space between the two of them?
Even if her goal was to take a step back, he had to respect that too. She had a lot on her mind. He needed to butt out and let her process things. What he’d dumped on her a week ago was a lot. If he pressured her, it might backfire on him.
He rose and walked her to the door, noticing she had packed a bag. She still had some clothes and things at her condo, but it made him nervous to see her taking that much stuff with her, as if she wasn’t sure when she might come back. He shouldn’t read into it. She would need her toiletries and a few clothes. Maybe more of her stuff had migrated to his house than he realized.
He slid his hands into her hair and cupped the back of her neck. When she tipped her head back, he forced himself to remain calm. “Call me if you need me. I know reuniting with your friends will be emotional.”
She nodded and leaned into him. “I will.” She rose up onto her tiptoes and kissed him. “I’ll keep you updated.”
And then she was gone.
Bracken flinched when the door shut behind her. The house was suddenly too quiet. Lonely.
He was beyond nervous. Something about her departure seemed wrong. As if she had no intention of coming back.
As he headed back to his office, he pulled out his phone and called Tank.
“Hey. You back in town?” Tank asked the moment he answered.
“Yep. Just got back a few hours ago.”
“How was the trip?”
“Amazing. We had a leisurely drive across the country after a nice visit with my parents.”
“Did you put a ring on her?” he asked in a fully serious voice.
Bracken sighed as he dropped down on his desk chair. “No. I haven’t even purchased a ring.” But he would. It was on his list of things to do.
“Why the hell not? It’s obvious to all of us that your search for the perfect woman is over.”
“Yeah. But I need to wait for my perfect woman to catch up with me emotionally.”
“Uh-oh. That sounds daunting.”
“Maybe.” He shuffled a few papers around on his desk, not looking at anything, just keeping his hands busy. “I can’t be sure.”
“Wait. Where is she now?”
“She went to her condo. She needed to reunite with her posse. I get it. They’ve all been through a lot. Commiserating is a good idea. Hopefully, it will help her to connect with the women.”
“The tone of your voice tells me you’re concerned.”
Bracken sat back and rubbed his temples. “Understatement.”
“You’re in love with her.”
“Head over heels.”
�
�She’ll come around. She’s been through a lot. Have you told her?”
“Yes.”
“Then she probably needs some time to talk to her friends. I don’t think you need to worry.”
Bracken nodded, even though Tank couldn’t see him.
“It’s been a rough few weeks for all of them. Kraft and Hatch have each taken some time off to spend with their women. I’m not surprised they need to band together. Libby, Christa, and Shayla have been attached at the hip. Reuniting with Bex is normal.”
“Have you seen any of them?”
“No. I just hear from Hatch and Kraft. The two of them were in the middle of plotting to hook me up with the elusive Shayla before all this went down. I didn’t want to take her out on a date while she’s dealing with the emotional drama of a hijacker. I’ll wait a bit longer to connect with her.”
Bracken chuckled at the mention, his mood lightening. “It will be incredibly weird if you end up with Shayla. How could so many people in the same friend circle pair off like that?”
Tank laughed. “Crazy, right? But hey, I’ve only met her a few times in passing. All I know is that she’s smoking hot. Could be we have nothing in common. Let’s not get carried away when we haven’t even spoken to each other yet.”
Bracken still marveled at the irony. What were the chances? It sure would be convenient as far as future get-togethers were concerned, but what the hell was he even thinking? He hadn’t even fully convinced Bex to commit to him. No sense pondering what the future might look like. It would be dismal if for some reason Bex decided to break things off with him.
Bracken sighed as he ran a hand down the front of his face.
“Why the long sigh?” Tank asked.
“You know how I worry about every damn thing. Do you think I’m doing the right thing here?”
“What the hell do you mean?”
“I mean, I’m fourteen years older than Rebekah. I’m tired. A part of me keeps reminding myself that she should find someone her age who isn’t already retired.”
Tank chuckled. “You’re always so hung up on your age. Dude, you’re only thirty-nine. Not ninety. And the only reason you’re tired is because you’re bored. I know you don’t work full-time for me because it’s not where your heart is. If Rebekah keeps you young, go for it. Find a new passion. I mean besides her.” He laughed again.
“Yeah, I’ve actually been thinking about opening a bakery with her.”
“That’s perfect. See?”
Bracken stared into space. “I was thinking more along the line of letting her manage it. Not so much me. She needs something new to make her feel fulfilled. I don’t think she would want me hovering.”
“That’s ridiculous. I seriously doubt she thinks you hover.”
Bracken shrugged even though Tank couldn’t see him. “Maybe you’re right. Something to consider. I think I’ve been in a rut for the last year, lost without the constant stress of the Army. I felt like I’d lost my edge. But when that shit went down on the plane…it’s like something inside me snapped into place. I jumped into action without hesitation.”
“Sweets, you killed two terrorists and landed a fucking commuter plane. I’d say you still have your edge.”
Bracken chuckled. “Yeah. Maybe.”
“Enough of this ‘I’m too old’ shit. Talk to her, man,” Tank said. “And take your time about coming back to work. I’ll understand if you bail on me. Just know the job is still yours no matter how many hours you’d like to take on.”
“Thanks, man. I appreciate it. I’ll call you soon.”
Bracken ended the call and leaned back in his chair. There was a gray cloud over his head. He didn’t know why. It wasn’t necessary. Bex had just gone to her condo for the rest of the day. No need to panic.
But he was. Totally.
Chapter 25
“Okay. Okay.” Destiny held up both hands to shush the group of women. “Enough about hijackings, kidnappers, and hostage situations.” She turned her gaze toward Bex. “Let’s talk about something more pleasant for a while. What’s going on with Sweets?”
Bex flushed, not wanting all the attention on her. But that’s exactly the position she was in, and there was no getting out of it. Could she blame them? They were curious, and she’d been very hush-hush about Bracken from the beginning.
Five sets of eyes stared at her from around the living room in the condo she shared with Shayla. Destiny, Libby, Christa, Shayla, and their newest addition, Raeann. The women had gotten closer to Raeann in the last few weeks.
Not surprising. Raeann needed their support as much as anyone, and it appeared she fit in perfectly with the rest of the women. Bex had never known her well because she’d rarely worked the same flight as her, but Shayla had many times.
Christa, the only one in the group who could be considered even close to being as introverted as Bex spoke. “Don’t pressure her. She’s private.”
Bex cleared her throat. “It’s okay. I don’t mind.” She didn’t. Not really. “It’s complicated.”
Christa smiled. “Isn’t it always?”
Bex chuckled. “Probably. It’s just… It all happened so fast and I feel like I’m under a lot of pressure.”
“From Bracken?” Libby asked.
Bex shook her head. “No. Not really. From life. He’s been amazing. But he also laid out all his cards, and that makes me nervous. I’m not sure I’m ready to go all-in yet with the china and diapers.”
Shayla choked on her drink. “Pardon. China? Diapers?”
Bex giggled. It was kind of nice to talk about it. Maybe she should do this more often. “It’s kind of a joke. He said his mother would be so over the moon that she’d have set up a wedding registry and purchased a crib. Bracken’s an only child. He’s thirty-nine. Neither he nor his parents expected him to settle down at this stage, and then he met me.”
“Did his mother actually mention you two getting married?”
“Nope. Thank God. I think I would have lost my mind under the circumstances. Mostly his parents walked on eggshells after the hijacking.”
Destiny sucked in a breath. “That’s good. But how do you feel?”
Bex shrugged, her gaze lowering. “I don’t know. On the one hand, he’s the best thing that’s ever happened to me. Hands down. He’s perfect. But…it’s just so fast. How can I be sure?”
Christa reached out a hand and grabbed Bex’s. “None of us are ever certain beyond a shadow of a doubt, but you have to follow your gut. Your heart. If the man makes you happy and checks off most of the boxes on your mental list of life-partner qualities, you have a winner.”
Bracken had a checkmark next to every single item on the list, including things she hadn’t known were on the list. There was no doubt about that. She just didn’t trust it to last. That was the crux of the situation.
Tuesday she would see Dr. Rawlins. Technically, the doctor would expect her to use the time dealing with the fallout of Bex’s latest work drama. In any other universe, ongoing PTSD after a hijacking would take center stage, but for Bex, her relationship with Bracken seemed more important.
The hijacking sucked. It did. So did the damn hostage situation with Christa. But the truth was that Bex’s real issues had stemmed from what happened to her when she was in high school. Unresolved trauma that was triggered by recent events.
Now that she was working through her feelings, opening up more about what happened to her, processing, and learning coping skills, she felt much stronger. She was proud of how she’d handled the hijacking situation. She’d gone from a near panic attack from the act of flying to someone who stepped up under pressure and did everything she could to save lives. And she had succeeded.
In fact, she’d done everything she could on that flight with Christa too. She’d noticed the warning signs of human trafficking, alerted the authorities, and helped four young girls get their lives back on track. She couldn’t have foreseen that the air marshal would lose his weapon to the bad guy or
that Christa would be taken hostage. Those things had been out of her control.
As her friends continued to chat about work and their schedules, Bex processed these feelings out of the blue and felt stronger. She’d lost some of her power when a rapist held her against a wall while she watched her best friend get brutally raped and murdered. It hadn’t been her fault though. There was nothing she could have done.
Bex glanced around at her friends, grateful to each of them for being in her life. She loved them all so much. She was also learning to forgive herself for things she could not control in her past. She needed to live. In short order, she knew she would be a healthier person.
But what about Bracken? Was she rushing too fast into a relationship? She’d been through so much since she’d met him, and he’d been by her side every step of the way, but they’d only known each other six weeks. It seemed too soon to trust her heart.
She needed some time to think, and she knew he would give it to her because he would give her the moon if he could.
When everyone finally went home, Bex decided to stay in the condo for the night. She hadn’t slept without Bracken for weeks. He’d been her rock every time she woke up gasping for air. A part of her wondered if she could manage to sleep alone. It seemed like a hurdle she needed to jump for some reason. She’d been using him as a crutch. And though he didn’t mind a bit, she did. She wanted to know that she could sleep soundly without nightmares without his enormous body enveloping her.
After a calming bath, she climbed into bed and texted Bracken for the first time all evening.
I had a great evening with my friends. I’m really tired though. I’m going to drop into bed here. I’ll text you in the morning.
She stared at the phone when the three dots immediately indicated he was responding. She wasn’t surprised. He’d probably been waiting to hear from her. She felt bad for not reaching out to him sooner and for so casually suggesting she stay in her condo. Would he be hurt?
Nonstop (Open Skies Book 3) Page 16