by Jack Stroke
“What’s wrong with me?”
“You’re like a child. You think you are so worldly and so much better than any of us, yet you have the emotional intelligence of a twelve-year-old. Well done, you absolutely humiliated me last night. Was that your goal? If so, mission accomplished.”
She turned on her heel. Amber had to run to catch up.
“Megan, wait. I didn’t…”
“Didn’t what? Didn’t trick us into getting dressed up? Didn’t lie about dinner? Didn’t fake a call from work and run away?”
“No, I… it’s not —”
“We’re adults, Amber. You really think you can set us up like we’re a couple of dumb kids?”
Amber wanted to say something. She opened her mouth. Nothing came out.
“Don’t you think if Vaughan or I were interested in each other, we would do something about it? Ourselves? We don’t need the Almighty Amber’s help. God, were you trying to make me look desperate and sad?”
“I… No… I…”
“Worry about your own life, Amber. And stay the heck out of mine.”
Megan stomped her way back up the sand towards Paradise by the Bay.
Watching her go, Amber wondered if maybe she had made a mistake trying to set up Megan and Vaughan.
48
Amber dried herself off. Without bothering to go back to the cabin and get changed, she headed into the central part of Paradise Cove. Megan was furious. What about Vaughan? Everything had flipped extremely quickly in her mind. How could she possibly have thought setting up Vaughan and Megan was anything except a terrible idea?
Vaughan’s boat sat tied to its birth, swaying against the gently lapping waves.
“Hey, Vaughan. Are you home?”
No response. All was quiet.
“Vaughan, are you in there?”
She was almost certain that he was, and yet there wasn’t a lot Amber could do. If he wasn’t coming out, he wasn’t coming out. It’s not like she could climb aboard. He had made it quite clear what he thought of that last time.
“Hey, Vaughan, I need to talk to you.”
Still nothing.
“Hey, Vaughan! I… I just want to… Vaughan?”
Was he on board? Maybe. Maybe not. It was entirely possible he wasn’t and Amber was a crazy person yelling at a boat.
She turned and began the trek home. She passed Grubby in the bait shop, watching her through the window. She waved. He didn’t wave back.
Amber found herself detouring via the old Scout Hall, on the off chance Vaughan might be inside, practising basketball. It was all locked up. He wasn’t on the beach either. That didn’t leave all that many options, at least not that Amber knew about.
Surely she was blowing this out of proportion. Vaughan wouldn’t be that upset, would he? He and Amber were friends. He knew that. He was okay with it, wasn’t he? He had seemed to be. Had he got dressed up last night hoping for more? If so, too bad. He only had himself to blame if he had got the wrong idea. Although much as she tried, this line of thought was pretty challenging to justify, given she had deliberately misled him.
Oh well, who cared? Why should she feel bad? She was just trying to do something nice. And yes, maybe she could have gone about it a little better, but her intentions were good. If Vaughan and Megan couldn’t understand that, it was their problem.
Returning to her cabin, Amber lay on the bed. The cracks on the ceiling above stared down at her. She lay for as long as she could. A discomfort in the pit of her stomach told her to get up and do something. Take action. To blast this malaise out of her.
Amber let herself into the owner’s cottage.
“Knock, knock.”
Megan glanced up from the kitchen table.
“God… Like a bad smell,” she said, scooping up her phone and stomping out of the room.
“Megan, that’s not nice,” Joan said from the kitchen, although it lacked her usual reproachful tone.
“Hey, Joan.”
“Hello.”
The natter of talkback radio filled the air. The room remained icy, even with Megan gone.
“Is Ben around?”
“No.”
“I thought he might want to go for a run.”
“He can’t if he is not here.”
“No. I guess not. I don’t suppose you want to come for a run, Joan?”
She gave Amber the faintest of smiles. Tolerant of Amber’s presence at best.
“Will he be back soon, do you know?”
“No. I’m pretty sure Megan said he was staying with friends for a few nights.”
“Okay. Do you need a hand?”
“No, thank you.”
“Is everything all right?”
The older woman let out a loud sigh. “You just couldn’t help yourself, could you? I hate to say I told you so, Amber, but I told you so.”
Amber nodded. Joan didn’t say any more. Highly unusual for there to be air and Joan not to be filling it. After a few awkward minutes, Amber backed her way out the door. Joan didn’t say a word.
To hell with the lot of them. Amber had no time for this garbage.
She was running virtually before she was out the door. She ran along the beach, fast and hard, pushing herself until she was having trouble seeing, let alone breathing. Then she turned and came back, pushing herself even harder. No matter how fast she moved, she could not outrun the unpleasantness oozing from her insides.
An hour later she made it back to Paradise by the Bay, sweat pouring off her, puffing so much she could very nearly not catch her breath. Lion the cat watched her approach inquisitively, as though trying to work out what on earth she had been doing.
“Hi, Lion. You still love me, don’t you?”
She stopped and bent down to pat him. The cat took one look at her and trotted away, his nose in the air.
“You too, Lion?”
Fine. As far as Amber could tell, she gave Lion more attention than anyone else. Well, if he wanted to be like that, the stupid cat could figure out how to pat himself.
49
The sound of laughter dragged Amber back to the land of the living. It had been a restless night, full of tossing and turning. She had been entirely exhausted yet not remotely sleepy.
Amber hadn’t even processed that she had drifted off, but she must have because the laughter woke her. Laughter meant someone in her cabin. She opened her eyes with a start, grasping for her Sig. It was too late though. If they were in her cabin already.
What was the time? Still dark, so night.
Was the intruder Grubby? Had he got inside somehow? No. That was stupid. Why did her mind go straight to him? What would he want in her room? He was strange but…
They laughed again. More than one laugh. A man and a woman. Amber peered about the room. It was too dark to make out anything except vague shapes.
Amber flicked on the bedside lamp, illuminating the duo. Two figures stood at the end of her bed. They were an odd couple. She was quite young and pretty. Thin with long dark hair. He was older and ugly, with a crudely shaved head. It took a moment for Amber to recognise them.
Ava, drug smuggler and Ben’s one-time girlfriend. And Ava’s associate, Lev.
It took another moment to process that if it was Ava and Lev, they weren’t really there. Not in a physical sense at least. Not that it helped.
Amber let go of her gun. Ava whispered something to Lev. The two of them snickered, laughing at Amber.
“You can’t hurt me.”
“She’s right, you know,” the dead girl whispered.
“Who’s right?”
She shouldn’t engage with the dead, but Amber was tired and sick of trying to do the right thing all the time.
“Megan. You are emotionally immature.”
“Yeah, well, you’re dead.”
“Ooh, good comeback.”
“Leave me alone.”
Amber lay down and rolled away from them. But quickly rolled back.
“
So what if I’m emotionally immature? It’s not my fault. I missed that whole part of my life. So I don’t understand relationships. So what?”
“You act like some stupid teenager. It’s pathetic.”
“Yeah, well that’s how old I was when I last had to deal with any of this sort of nonsense.”
Lev whispered in Ava’s ear. They both snickered again.
“Lev says you’re full of excuses. How about you take a little responsibility for your life for once?”
“Oh, leave me alone. Go be dead somewhere else.”
Ava’s features contorted from amusement to anger. Suddenly she screamed. She ran towards Amber, flailing at her. Instinctively, Amber recoiled, protecting her face.
When she opened her eyes, Ava and Lev had disappeared.
The dawn finally made an appearance, thankfully putting an end to what had been a long night. The morning offered little respite. For the first time since she had arrived, the early sun did not seem as inviting.
Amber slumped on the edge of her bed, tired all over. Would Joan come down with some breakfast? Some days she did, some days she didn’t. There was no discernible pattern to it. Amber knew she wouldn’t today though. Of course, she could go up to the owner’s cottage. Joan would be happy to cook for her, wouldn’t she? Or was there a chance she could turn Amber away? It was a chilling thought.
The whole thing was ridiculous. Yes, she had made a mistake with Vaughan and Megan. So what? Everybody makes mistakes.
She should just march up to the owner’s cottage right now and sit at the kitchen table. Of course, Amber knew she would never do that. Just like she knew Joan wasn’t about to appear with a plate of food. Amber was going to wait and hope and end up disappointed.
And then an unpleasant realisation struck her right in the stomach.
“Oh, for goodness sake…” she said aloud. “I’m lonely? Really?”
50
The realisation Amber was lonely disgusted her. Of all the weak, pointless emotions to have.
The very thought was ridiculous given she had spent almost all of the last twelve years in her own company. She was an assassin, for heaven’s sake. It was a lonely profession. So why was this different? Probably because the past twelve years was supposed to be lonely. That was all part of it. Now she had let people in. She was attempting to be a normal person, and she was being snubbed. It hurt.
This was silly. She should do something. Sitting around was making her feel weak. Except she couldn’t think of a single thing to do that felt appealing. She ran yesterday. She couldn’t be bothered swimming even if she knew that would almost certainly make her feel better. Port Simmons seemed too far away and too much effort. She slumped back down on the bed.
How would she usually cope? She would drown herself in work. Maybe she could ring Mother. Ask if she had … something. Anything.
Her mind drifted back to the night she’d had. Ava and Lev laughing at her. It hurt, even if it wasn’t really Ava and Lev. Even if they were dead. A vague echo of a memory.
And Grubby… why had she suspected it was him in her cabin? He had been watching the cabin the other day. Was there more to it than that? Something didn’t sit right about him. Nothing definite. Just instinct. A dull warning sounding somewhere in her head. Why? Was there a connection she was missing? Was her brain trying to tell her something? Or was she actively avoiding her feelings by pointlessly occupying her mind with nonsense?
Ava and Razor and the rest of the smugglers were gone. There were no threats to worry about, were there?
And yet her mind still shuffled back to Grubby.
He had claimed Scar and Fedora had attacked him, but there had been no evidence of that. Maybe Amber needed to keep an eye on him. Should she get Tony to do a background check just in case? She would probably need to find out his full name. Tony, good as he was, might require more than ‘Grubby from the bait shop’.
As all this sloshed about Amber’s thoughts, her phone rang, which was unusual in itself. It was doubly surprising to see it was Tony calling.
“Tony. You must have ESP or something. I was just thinking about you.”
“Amber. Is everything all right?”
Amber sat up. Tony sounded off. Unsettled.
“I’m fine. What’s up?”
“Oh, nothing. I mean, you know… Nothing.”
Something was definitely up.
“Tony. It must be something. You rarely call.”
“I shouldn’t… I mean… Oh, dear.” There was a pause. “I’m sending you through a photo.”
Her phone beeped as the image arrived.
“Do you know this young man?” Tony asked.
Of course she did. It was Ben. Sitting at a bus stop she didn’t recognise.
“Tony, what’s going on?”
Another couple of images came through. In them, two men grabbed Ben. They put a bag over his head and tossed him in the trunk of the car.
“Amber…” Tony said. “Mother took him.”
51
It might sound strange, but Amber was never exactly sure where things started with her time at Diamond Logistics.
She had been at university studying when a job came up. Someone suggested she apply for it. A fellow student, Amber thought at the time, although she had no recollection of seeing this person before. Not that that was unusual in itself. University was a big place.
The job was shrouded in mystery. The insinuation was the position was top secret, with a government agency or something similar, not that anybody outright said that. Amber went along, as intrigued as anything else. Megan had just given birth to Ben, and Ellis was still in the picture, making life uncomfortable for Amber. She recalled wanting a change. A significant life change. To, you know, shake things up. Or burn everything down, in that way someone in their early twenties thinks.
It was an odd kind of interview, where Amber went in knowing little and come out seemingly knowing even less. The interview itself was conducted in the Diamond Logistics offices with its dated decor. One-on-one with an impressive, yet decidedly odd woman who wore sunglasses inside throughout and identified herself as Mother.
Amber didn’t have a lot of interview experience to draw from, yet she could tell this one was different from the norm. There was little discussion about Amber’s abilities or skills or what she might bring to the job, as though they already knew all of that. Mother simply seemed to want to get to know her. When Amber asked what the job entailed, Mother was vague and evasive.
Despite this, Amber was intrigued and definitely drawn to Mother as a person. As the interview wound up, Amber remained convinced she hadn’t got the job, whatever it was. On the way out, Tony asked her to sign something in case she wanted to know more or take things further. He was vague and Amber didn’t really understand. Later, she found out it was a waiver covering Diamond Logistics for any potential liabilities for what came next.
A few days passed, and when she didn’t hear anything, Amber put Mother and Diamond Logistics out of her mind. She had plenty of other problems to deal with. Everything blew up pretty spectacularly with her and Ellis and Megan and Joan, leaving Amber feeling increasingly isolated and alone.
The following day she was abducted.
Amber stood, waiting for her flight. She couldn’t have sat even if she wanted to. Adrenaline tingled her fingers. Her phone buzzed. She looked down. Tony again. It went to voicemail. It was about the twentieth time he had called since he sent the photos. Probably having second thoughts. Oh well, too bad.
She had left Paradise by the Bay immediately after he’d rung. The travel was difficult. Every cell in her body told Amber to hurry, and yet by its design, air travel is slow. Endless sitting around and waiting. She had to get to the airport then catch a flight out, all of which took an amount of time that was entirely beyond her control. Relaxing was a mental challenge. Reminding herself that despite the fact she was sitting about an airport not doing anything, she was in actuality moving as fas
t as she could.
Part of the stress was not having the whole story. Mother had grabbed Ben, that much was clear. But where? Had they come all the way to Paradise Cove or Port Simmons?
And why? More importantly, why hadn’t she told Amber?
Poor Ben would be terrified. Being grabbed on the street like that was no fun at all. She recalled moments of absolute terror from when she was abducted. And judging from the photos, Ben had no idea it was coming, just as Amber hadn’t.
An unpleasantness sloshed about her belly. Had Amber caused all this? Simply because she had been foolish enough to mention Ben wanted to be an agent? That was precisely the sort of thing Mother would do.
One thing was for sure in all of this - Mother had betrayed Amber.
52
Amber had been alone all those years ago, in her tiny one-bedroom apartment, unsure she would ever see Megan again. That’s how bad things had become. They’d had a huge row and she couldn’t think. She couldn’t see straight. Isolated and abandoned. She was attempting to process what it all could mean for her life when two men burst in. They threw a bag over her head and bundled her in the back of a car.
The smell of the spare tyre and the grease in the trunk never left her in the subsequent years. Every bump in the road went straight through her as they drove. Finally, they stopped and she was dragged out, taken to a small room and stripped to her underwear.
She spent the next few hours like that, chained to a table.
At first, it was utterly terrifying trying to piece together what had happened and why. Why her? Why had she been targeted? What could they want?
She cried and yelled and screamed, all to little effect.
After far too long in transit, Amber burst into the Diamond Logistics’ office, full of fury. Her sudden arrival made Tony jump. The colour drained from his face.