by Sara Hubbard
They laugh again. “What is his name again?” Yara says in her thick accent.
“Dirk?”
“What kind of a name is Dirk?”
Luna laughs again, and my smile grows wider. I feel the flush in my cheeks, somehow embarrassed to be so affected by my emotions. It’s not something I give into much.
“So wait,” Yara says. “He’s sleeping with her and her brother?”
“Yes!”
“Net!”
“Yes!”
They giggle again.
“Terrible. He can’t just pick one!”
I walk forward and lean against the doorframe before knocking lightly on the door.
Their faces light up. Both of them. My cheeks burn again.
“Maxim!” Luna says. “What are you doing home so early?”
Home. I like the way she says this. “I had some time.”
“Good.” Yara lays in the middle of the bed, Luna is on her left, and Yara taps the other side of her for me to come and join them.
I shake my head.
“Boy, come sit.” She slams the bed harder.
I venture closer but sit on the edge. “How’re you feeling? You seem better.”
“I am. I think I’ll go home later. Luna has me watching these ridiculous shows. They are trash, Maxim.”
“You seem to be enjoying them.”
She bristles at that before they exchange a look and start giggling.
“I brought supper. Are you hungry?”
“What’d you bring?” Yara asks.
“Fish tacos.”
“From the food truck?”
I nod.
“Just one. I’m trying to lose weight.”
“Why? You look beautiful.”
She waves off the compliment but smiles wide. “This one is a charmer,” she says.
“Sometimes,” Luna agrees.
“Did you get hot sauce?” she asks.
“Three different kinds.”
“Oh, he’s an angel,” she says to Luna.
I get up and bring the tacos up to Yara along with some Melon juice. After Luna fluffs Yara’s pillow and gets her settled, I take her hand and lead her away.
“We’ll be back,” she tells Yara.
“Oh, don’t you hurry. I’ll be just fine. Maxim, can you drive me back home if you get a chance later?”
I shake my head. “No. One more night won’t hurt.”
“Maxim, I’m fine now. Really. And you don’t want me here getting in the way.”
“You’re family. You stay.”
She rolls her eyes. “Is there a point in arguing with you?”
“No.”
Luna’s eyes light up when she fishes through the paper bags full of food. “Are there people joining us?”
I grin at her. “I didn’t know what you liked.”
“Oh. I’m pretty easy really.” She pulls out the tacos. There’s also a burrito, a quesadilla, some churros, and some chips and salsa. “I’ll eat anything except mushrooms.”
“What’s wrong with mushrooms?”
“Allergy.” She pushes her cheeks out and raises her hands. “I’ll swell up and die.”
“For real?”
She nods.
“You should have told me this.”
She smiles at me. “Calm down. You look so serious again.”
I release a breath.
She digs into the food, trying everything before offering it to me. I like watching her eat and make satisfied moans as she enjoys every bite. She’s enthusiastic about food in a way I don’t understand. I have favorites, for sure. Things I prefer to eat more than others, but food never really mattered to me. It simply fills a need.
“You have to try this,” she says. She holds the burrito out to me with the wrapper peeled back. She’s eaten about half of it, and it’s covered in hot sauce, guacamole and salsa. It looks like a crime scene. I shake my head.
She frowns at me. “Try it,” she commands.
I’ll give her this. I’ll give her so much more. With my eyes on hers, I take a big bite, and when I lean away, I lick my lips. She stops chewing and gulps.
“How can you make that look sexy?”
I almost choke on my food as I start to laugh.
“I love you like this.”
I still, focussed on the word love. It does strange things to my insides.
“I call you Playful Maxim when you’re like this. This is the Maxim I couldn’t stop thinking about when I left you.”
I wring a hand around my neck and set my gaze on the floor. There is a part of me that wants to hold her, but another part that wants to fuck her because it’s an easier sort of affection for me. Still, another part wants to put the serious face back on and excuse myself.
“I’m sorry,” she says. “I made you uncomfortable.”
I’m fucked up, and she’s apologizing to me. “No, don’t apologize. I am uncomfortable, but I’m trying not to be.”
I look up at her, and her mouth is so full her cheeks are like a chipmunk’s. This girl. Just like that, the discomfort is forgotten. The peace returns. What I wouldn’t do for her. What I wouldn’t try for her. Yet, I’ll probably never be able to find the words to tell her in a way that would be meaningful.
“You’re stunning,” I say instead.
She swallows down all the food, and I can actually see it move down her neck. “This food is really good.”
“I’m glad you like it.”
She takes another bite, and pieces of tomato and sauce fall onto the countertop. She stills and looks up at me. “I’m sorry. It’ll clean.” She says this quickly, as if she thinks it might upset me.
I have some quirks, and I like things neat, but it doesn’t anger me like it did my father. It’s almost like it’s become a habit for me that I can’t break.
“It’s fine.”
She gets up and grabs a cloth. As she starts to clean, I pick up her burrito and take another bite before dropping a tomato onto the island. She smiles at me, and I drop a jalapeno. Then I hold it out to her. The tension in her shoulders relaxes as she sits down to finish. Cheeks full, still chewing, she keeps talking to me.
I did this once as a child. Talked with my mouth full. My father called me an animal and took my plate away. And then my mother scolded me for angering my father. Always be mindful. Be the boy he always wanted, she said. Be better than Andrei was what she meant. I push the memory away, not wanting to taint this perfect moment with Luna with any of my baggage.
“Was today a good day?” she asks me.
It’s always a good day when I’m with her. “It was.”
“Is that why you’re home early?”
I scratch my beard. I haven’t shaved in days. This is yet another way she’s changing me. I wouldn’t have considered a beard before. It felt untidy. But now? I don’t know. It matters less.
“I made a business decision today. A good one.”
She makes a face. “A legal business decision or an illegal one?”
I grin at her. “Legal.”
“Oh, then, that’s great. Can you tell me about it?”
A deal sealed with a handshake. Without my father knowing about it. It’s premature to tell anyone, but she’s not just anyone. I want to tell her all about it, because I want her opinion, and I want her to be as excited about it as I am. Of course, I can’t tell her that this decision is going to cause some problems for me with my family. She doesn’t need to bear that burden.
“I bought a gym.”
“A gym? Like a real gym?”
I frown at her, unable to read her expression. “Yes, a real gym.”
She plays with some taco crumbs on her wrapper before bringing them to her mouth. “Does this mean you’re done with everything?”
I approach the island and bend over it so I’m closer to her. Then I shake my head.
There is a flash of disappointment in her eyes, though she quickly tries to hide it. “I think it’s great.”
<
br /> “Would it make you happy if I walked away from this life?”
She sighs. “Would it make you happy?”
I open my mouth and snap it shut. No one has asked me that. No one. Except maybe Yara. “I would love to tell you I want to walk away from the ‘other’ stuff. I would love to tell you it’s possible. But I’m not sure I could—at least, not completely. Do I want less of it? Yes. But I’ll never be out. Not fully. You understand?”
She nods. “So, that’s a no. It would make you unhappy to walk away?”
“I don’t think it’s a case of happy or unhappy. It’s all I’ve ever known, and it’s part of who I am. I’m not sure I would know how to be anything else. It just wouldn’t fit me, somehow.”
My phone beeps and, though I hesitate, not wanting to be distracted from my conversation with Luna, I pull out my phone. There’s a text from Yuri, and it’s one word.
Done.
I raise my eyebrows and take a breath, solemn for a moment, before I slide my phone into my back pocket. True to his word, Yuri’s already dealt with our loose ends. If there had been another way to keep Luna safe, I would never have asked for their deaths. So, I add their names, Mark’s in particular, to my short list of regrets. Not that I would take it back. The regret is that it had to be done. I focus on the worry in Luna’s sad eyes. Every life is worth hers. Now the only thing that prevents her from getting the life she loves back is my father.
“Where’d you go?” she asks. “The heaviness. It’s there again. Did I upset you again?”
As I saunter around the island, she turns to face me while still sitting on the stool. I reach between her arms and her chest and push the plate and food away from the island behind her. Then I grab her and lift her up so she’s sitting on the cool marble. I like her like this, her face level with mine.
I run my fingers through her waves, mesmerized by their differing shapes and sizes. And the shades of her strands, some gold and some a much darker shade that almost borders on brown.
She strokes my sore cheek with the back of her hand. Her touch is delicate and feathery soft. I lean into it. She overcomes me again with so many emotions, all of them bubbling over, competing to be first in my mind. I cup her ass and pull her close as I lean into her.
“Here?” she says softly. “What if Yara comes down?”
“There’s only you and me right now. There’s nothing else.”
Her breath catches, right before I slam my lips down onto hers. She releases a groan that hardens me fully. I strain in my pants, wanting to be set free. I need her hands on me, her mouth, her body. She wraps her arms around my neck and deepens the kiss. When I pull away, her scent washes over me. My shampoo and soap smell different on her. It’s mixes with her sweetness, and it’s intoxicating.
I cup her chin and stare into her eyes. There’s a hint of grey to them today. How have I never noticed that before?
“Who texted you?” she asks.
“Yuri,” I say, hoarseness in my voice.
“What did he say?”
“I asked him to do something, and now it’s done.”
“Would I approve?” she asks.
“No.”
She presses her forehead to mine and shakes her head. “Then don’t tell me.”
I could never tell her. Not this. She’d never forgive me, and I can’t have that. I kiss her again, softer this time. She reaches down and unzips my pants. With her warm hand, she strokes me up and down, keeping her eyes on me. I move her hand and rub against her, anxious to drive myself inside of her.
“Max, what are you doing to me? I should be running far, far away from you.”
“You’re right. You should.”
“Why can’t I?”
“Same reason I can’t. Same reason I will torch my whole world to keep you. Some things matter more than others.”
“You matter to me,” she whispers.
I slide her top up and over her head before yanking off her leggings and underwear. I want to tell her she more than matters to me. There are moments when I imagine what I’m feeling is love. I think I’m capable of it—but only with her. I want to say these things, but don’t. Instead, I slide my hand between her legs and part her swollen, wet petals before dipping two fingers inside of her. She tips her head back and groans as I push in and out while simultaneously stroking her with the heel of my hand. She leans away from me until her back is against the counter. She closes her eyes and arches her back, touching the swell of her breasts.
It drives me fucking wild. I bend forward, jealous of her hands, and ravage her nipples with my tongue, exploring every curve before gently biting down.
“Ahh,” she cries out before putting her hand on the back of my head and pulling me closer. I give her other breast the same amount of attention. This time I counter the gentle pain by blowing softly, the cool air making her arch her back while she utters a soft curse. Then I trail kisses down her stomach and across the soft, short curls between her legs before I drag my tongue between her lips.
“There’s only you and me,” she says, repeating me before gasping.
“Yes, Angel. Just us.” I swirl my tongue around her entrance, dipping inside of her. She shoves her fist in her mouth, and now muffled, calls out my name. My need for her consumes me, and when I’m overwhelmed, there is only one thing that satisfies me. There is only one way to show her. I straighten and guide my cock inside of her, pushing all the way to the hilt.
Chapter 21
Luna: It’s almost nine o’clock at night. Maxim had me for two hours, and he didn’t waste a second of it. On the counter, on the floor, against the wall. He’s insatiable when he’s turned on. Not that I mind. I’ll take all of it—happily. But sometimes, I feel there is more to his passion and urgency. He hides behind it when it comes to talking about things that matter.
It makes me sad that he can’t be more open but, today, I think he gave me more than he ever has. He actually told me he missed me, and I felt it. My heart leapt into my throat. And I felt those cliché butterflies tap dancing in my stomach. I can’t deny my feelings for him—not to him and certainly not to myself. I’m falling for him, body and soul. Does he feel the same? I’m starting to think he might.
With my legs hugged into my chest, I sit in the chair in my room. It’s quiet again, and I’m alone with my thoughts. When Maxim left, he took Yara with him—and not by choice. She wouldn’t let him leave without her. While it wasn’t funny, I couldn’t stop grinning when the two of them had a Russian verbal war in her room. They were very loud and animated, gesturing with hands. After some time, he tossed his hands up and said, “Fine. Get in the damn car.” Then he waited for her outside without saying another word to either of us. She nodded to me with a smirk on her face, satisfied in her win. I felt satisfied for her.
For a strong man who is used to people fearing him and doing as he says, it surprises me that the two women he surrounds himself with are both strong people with strong opinions. I would think that would bother him, but I don’t think it does at all. Or else, why would he keep us close?
I let out a sigh. Having Yara live here was so nice. Yes, she’s here all the time, but I liked having her down the hall. It was comforting to me since I still deal with missing my mother. Now I miss both of them.
Ugh. I put my feet down and stand. I go to the kitchen and make some tea. Standing at the French doors to the back yard, I stare outside, feeling the need to be outside in the fresh air and with nature. It always helps me when I’m feeling down.
Would he really care if I stepped outside onto the patio? For just a few moments? Yes, he would, but I know he’d get over it. I turn off the alarm and walk outside. The air is chilly, but it wakes up my muscles and makes me feel alive.
On the left side of the stone patio, there is some wooden patio furniture. They’re missing the cushions, and I couldn’t say where they are, so I sit down on one of the lounge chairs. The cold surface bleeds through my clothing, and a chill runs th
rough me. I grip the sides of my cardigan and wrap it tightly around me while I wait for the wood underneath me to warm to my body temperature. The leaves on the trees ruffle, and somewhere in the distance a wind chime sings. I smile, welcoming the peaceful sounds that almost feel like a lullaby while I watch the ducks on the water.
I stay outside for a long time. In fact, I manage to fall asleep. I’m not sure how much time has passed when I wake. With my eyes closed, I hear crickets. I yawn and stretch out my arms, feeling relaxed. When I open my eyes, it takes me a moment to adjust to the semi-darkness and from the lights on the patio. At first, I think the silhouette sitting in a chair a few feet away from me is Maxim, but then, I quickly realize it’s not.
Gasping, I jump back in my seat and almost topple out of my chair. I have no idea who this man is. I spring forward for the door. He moves faster, grabbing my elbows and forcing them behind my back. I yelp in pain, feeling like he’s going to pull them out of the sockets.
“Easy,” he says. His voice is so similar to Maxim’s.
“Let me go,” I demand. I buck and I kick behind me. I must hit him in the crotch because he lets out a groan before he loses his grip on me. I jolt forward for the door. If I can make it inside and get to the hidden security room I’ll be safe. I reach out my hand to punch in the code as my head is jolted back, his fingers gripping my hair. He pulls me in close to him, then, and my heart thunders in my chest.
“No!”
“I will kill you if I have to. Maybe your mother too, just for pissing me off.”
“Who are you?”
“Andrei Morozova,” he says.
“Max’s brother,” I whisper.
“Max? My, my, you are close, aren’t you? He hates being called that.”
He pulls my hair harder, and I’m forced to arch my back just to stay upright.
“I’m going to let you go now. You’re going to open that door and quietly walk inside with me right behind you. Then, we’re going to have a nice chat. But I warn you, if you try anything, I’m going to kill you. Are we clear?”
“Yes,” I say.
He yanks on my hair again, and I cry out. He almost pulls it clear from my scalp. Then he lets me go and I fall forward. When I right myself, he waves to the door. “After you.”