by Lizzie James
She gasped, lifting her arms and placing them behind my neck, threading her fingers into the back of my hair. She tilted her head, pressing her lips to mine before pulling back and focusing her attention back on the stove.
“You’re distracting me,” she admonished. “Fill your plate and I’ll be there in a minute.”
I kissed the skin on her shoulder from where my t-shirt had fallen down a little. After plating up some pancakes and bacon, I poured us some glasses of cranberry juice and took a seat at the table. She didn’t keep me waiting long before she joined me with a waffle and sliced strawberries. We settled down to a quiet breakfast, talking about the café mostly. As she forked up the last of her strawberries, feeding me a couple, I took her hand, rubbing my thumb over the back of it.
“Is everything okay?” she asked. “You were a bit fidgety last night.”
I sighed. “It’s nothing.” I shook my head. “Nothing for you to worry about.”
“Oh.” She dipped her head, focusing her gaze on a scratch in the wooden table before continuing. “I thought… I thought we had moved past this.” She still wouldn’t look at me.
“I’m sorry,” I apologised. “I, uh, I wanted to ask you something.”
“Okay.” She tightened her hand around mine before nodding her head at me to continue. “I’m listening.”
“When I got home last night you were already in bed. I stood at the doorway watching you sleep for a little,” I said, pointing at the doorway to my bedroom. I could tell by her expression I was confusing her. A small blush started to bloom on her cheeks.
“I thought how perfect you looked lying there in my bed. That I wanted to keep seeing it.”
“I love being here with you,” she whispered. “I feel so comfortable with you. It feels like we were always meant to get to this place.”
“Yeah.” I blew out a sigh, needing to say this next part and get it out. “I know this is fast, but I want to live with you. I want to share it all with you.”
Her eyes widened in surprise at me. “Alex…”
“Let me finish,” I said, shaking my head. “I know we have a long way to go, and I know we don’t know every little thing there is to know about each other, but I think we’ve come through the worst. I want to find out the rest. I want to see your mood swings, I want to wake up with you wrapped around me and your crazy hair in my face. I want to see you when you get the munchies and stuffing your face with chocolate. I want to be the one who dries your tears when you cry and who laughs with you when you get hysterical. I want it all.”
Her eyes glistened up at me and I hoped to fuck they were happy tears. I hoped to fuck I wasn’t scaring her the hell away from me. “Well, you’re not running out of the apartment yet, so I’m hoping that’s a good thing,” I joked.
“I don’t know what to say,” she whispered. “It’s just a little fast and I…”
“I know it’s fast,” I agreed. “Super fast.” We both chuckled at my lack of articulation. “I just know I want you with me whenever I can have you, and I’m kind of hoping that it’s the same for you.”
“It is. Of course, it is, Alex.” She blew out a shaky breath. “What if it doesn’t work out? What if it’s just one step too far, too fast?”
“It might be,” I answered, “but I don’t think it will be.” I reached over and trapped her hand between my palms. “I think, the question that you need to ask yourself is, do you want this as much as I do?”
She stared at me for a few moments before she looked down at her lap.
I mentally chastised myself, knowing full well what words were going to come out of her mouth next. It was too fucking fast and I was pressuring her—something I warned myself I would never fucking do.
“Okay.” She looked up at me, surprising the fucking hell out of me. “Okay, let’s do it.”
“What?” I laughed, surprised. “You’re serious?”
“Yes!” A beaming smile took over her face. “I’m not the easiest person to live with, mind—I’m messy, always leave my dirty clothes on the floor and you’ll be finding hair-ties all over the place—but if you want me…”
“Fuck, yes, I want you.” I pulled her hand to my lips, pressing kisses to the back of it.
We both stood and she threw her arms around my neck, kicking her legs behind her, hugging me before placing them back down.
“I love you,” she whispered. She leaned up and pressed her lips to mine before pulling back.
“I love you too, darling.” I placed my hands on her hips, squeezing them gently before stepping back. “Celebratory drink down in the bar tonight?”
“Can we wait?” she asked. She bit her lip, staring at my chest before meeting my eyes again. “I want to tell Addie first. Is that okay?”
“Of course. Do you think she’ll take it okay?”
“She will. It’ll just be better if I tell her first.” She reached for my hands, squeezing them gently. “She’s due back this evening, so I’ll take her out for some drinks. She and I haven’t done that in a while.”
“Bring her to the bar,” I suggested. “You girls can have some food and cocktails. Maybe it’ll help wake James up.”
“You still think something is going on?” She looked at me with doubt. “You’d make a terrible matchmaker.”
“I got you, didn’t I?” I teased her. “Worked out good there.”
“True.” She pulled away from me. “I had better get home and get a fresh uniform before work.”
“Go.” I grabbed the dishes from the table. “I’ll wash up. See you tonight.” Another kiss to her luscious lips and she was leaving me to the dishes.
Well, she did say she was messy. Can’t say she didn’t warn me on that one.
“You’re freaking me out!” James admonished. “Why are you smiling like that?”
“Like what?” I asked, serving a round of drinks up before delivering them to a family of five.
“Like that!” He pointed at me, laughing. “You’ve been walking around with a goofy smile on your face all damn bastard day! Even the customers have noticed. Is Charlie that good at—?”
I cut him off by delivering a hard punch to his arm, making him wince. “Finish that sentence and you’ll have trouble fucking walking tomorrow,” I threatened.
“My bad.” He raised his hands in defence. “It was only a joke, man.”
“I know. She’s just more than that, you know? She’s special, man.”
“I can see that.” He nodded his head. “That’s cool. It’s good to see you happy, Alex. You both deserve it.” He chuckled before moving past me. “Just let me know when I need to get something blue or pink.” He clapped me on the shoulder, laughing before disappearing to the end of the bar.
“That’s not funny,” I admonished him. “Not fucking funny, at all.”
23
Charlie
“So, how was your mum?” I asked Addie. “Did you do any shopping? Ooh, what were the theatres like? Did you meet up with any friends while you were home?” I was rambling now. “Did she enjoy her birthday?”
“Whoa!” She held her hands up, her new gel nails catching my eye. “What’s with all the questions?”
“Nothing.” I shrugged my shoulders before stealing a fry off her plate. “Just interested in how your weekend went.”
“Okay. Well, Mum was great—happy to see me home. Yes to shopping. I didn’t go to any theatres, I’m afraid, and no to seeing friends. I just hung out with Mum and we got our nails done.” She held her hands out for me to admire her professional-looking manicure.
“Ooh, lovely!” I complimented. “I can never grow mine.”
“Because you keep biting them.” She lightly tapped my hand. “Now, tell me what’s going on.”
“Uh, what do you mean?” I asked, acting confused. There’s no way she could know.
“Alex keeps looking over here. Look at him! He looks like he’s having his balls squeezed in a vice.” We both giggled at her description, and
after staring over at him, I decided he did look a little uncomfortable.
“Something has happened, but I’m not sure how you’re going to take it.” I pulled a face, letting my nerves take hold for a moment.
“Just spit it out.” She crossed her arms on the table-top before reaching over and placing her hand on my lower arm. “It’s me. Whatever it is, you know I’ll be okay.” Her eyes flicked down before her eyes widened in surprise. “Holy crap! Are you pregnant?”
“No!” I laughed at how ridiculous that thought was. “Absolutely not.”
“Oh.” She slumped back in her seat, her shoulders falling in disappointment. “Then what is it?” She took a sip of her cosmopolitan cocktail before nodding for me to continue.
“Alex has asked me to move in with him.” I pulled a face, waiting for her response.
She stared at me for a few moments in silence before a beaming smile took over her face and she shot to her feet, letting out a major squeal.
I stood, laughing at her when she wrapped her arms around my neck, hugging me tightly and rocking us from side to side.
“I’m so happy for you!” she shrieked. “How would you think I’d take that badly?” She lightly tapped me on my upper arm before grabbing it and pulling me over to the bar. “Come here you!” She held her arms out and walked through the gap in the bar before pulling Alex down into a hug.
“You’re happy for us!” He grinned down at her, giving her a quick kiss on the cheek.
“What’s going on?” James asked from behind Alex.
“Charlie and Alex are moving in together!” Addie shrieked, bouncing on the spot and clapping her hands enthusiastically.
“Are you pregnant?” James asked, looking over at me.
“No!” Alex and I shouted at the same time. We both laughed at our timing before I continued. “No. Don’t wish that on us.”
Alex came around the bar and wrapped his arm around my waist, bending down and kissing my temple. “That didn’t go too bad.” He trailed his fingers over the top of my arm before he bent his head and whispered in my ear. “You are looking very fuckable in this sparkly dress.”
I gasped before patting his chest, silently admonishing him.
“So, uh…” Addie leaned her elbows on the bar-top, looking between us. “What’s happening with David?”
“I haven’t seen him lately.”
Alex shook his head, agreeing with me and I was thankful for that—thankful that neither of us had seen him hanging around. Maybe it was a sign that he was moving on.
“Interesting.” She grinned at Alex. “I thought Charlie was going to tell me she was knocked up.”
James laughed loudly. “I said the same thing earlier.” He grinned as he filled a pint glass with cider for a customer from the pump. “He had a goofy grin on his face and I thought—”
“Thank you!” I said loudly, pretty much cutting him off from finishing that sentence. “Anyway, let’s toast a drink.”
“Yes!” Addie cheered. She reached behind her and grabbed a bottle of vodka before lining up four shots. We each grabbed one and waited for her to announce what we were toasting to. “To family!” she cheered, holding her shot glass up.
We all clinked our glasses, knocking them back, and I couldn’t help the cough that came from the burn that went down my throat.
Addie giggled at my face before she filled another shot and knocked it back. She was a professional at drinking vodka. No cough came from her.
She gave me a cocky smirk and placed the bottle back on the shelf and coming back around to the bar. “So, what else have I missed while I’ve been out of town?”
“Nothing much.”
Alex went back behind the bar and Addie and I strolled back to our seats. James came over with another round of cocktails before leaving us to chat.
“I have been thinking about closing the shop on Sundays,” I admitted.
“How come?” She stirred her drink with a straw and took a pull.
“It’s manic through the week, and I thought it’d be nice to have a day off. It’s been easier using suppliers for a few of the baked products.” I shrugged my shoulders. “Plus, Alex said he would come home with me to Wales one weekend and visit Mum.”
“Meeting the parents!” she teased. “Pretty serious.”
“Yeah.” I looked over at him and watched as he handed a straw to a little girl. She couldn’t have been older than ten years. “It never felt like this with David. With him, there was no...” I struggled to find the right word, stopping when Addie interrupted me.
“Love.” She raised her eyebrows at me, daring me to disagree. “You cared for him, but I don’t think that you ever truly loved him.”
I stared at her, a little surprised by her conclusion.
I did love David, didn’t I?
“I saw you after he’d fucked his receptionist. You were sad but you weren’t broken.” She reached over and took my hand in hers. “You never looked at David the way you look at Alex. Your eyes twinkle when you look at him. I never saw that when you and David were together.”
“No wonder he hates me,” I whispered, feeling ashamed.
“He doesn’t hate you,” she said. “He hates that he couldn’t control you,” she explained further. “On the crime documentaries I watch...”
“Here we go,” I mocked. “Those crime documentaries will send you crazy, you know that, right?”
“Listen! These stalkers and nut-jobs as you call them, they need to have a victim. Someone they can control. I’m not saying he was a stalker when you two were together, but I think there was a part of you that he was controlling.” She lowered her head to catch my avoiding gaze. “I remember all the put-downs, the dismissive comments, the dates he missed, the many voicemail messages that were always left on our machine...” She tightened her hand in mine. “You deserve better than that, sweetheart. And that”—she nodded her head towards the bar—“that is better.” We both smiled at each other before she continued. “And really fucking hot.”
We both giggled as we clinked our glasses together. We stayed at the bar for a couple more drinks before we made our way home. Alex offered me to stay with him, but I decided to go home with Addie, not wanting our girly night to end just then.
A few weeks slowly passed before I moved out of my apartment with Addie. I had decided to stay another month, not wanting to leave her with an extra bill to pay to cover my rent. We were lucky though because a friend of Addie’s, Kelly, from the club that she used to dance at needed a place to stay, and so when I moved out, she moved in.
It didn’t take me long to move in. Alex was a sweetheart and helped me unpack all of my boxes and even made space in his wardrobe for me. The only thing that I had left to unpack was my books, but those would have to wait until Alex sorted me a bookcase. He promised to set one up for me this weekend.
I occasionally had moments when I felt like we were still moving a little too fast but it often felt like Alex had gotten to know me well enough to know when those moments of panic happened. He’d usually take the afternoon off or surprise me by cooking me dinner when I got home from the café.
I shook my head, clearing my thoughts from my latest freak-out. The last couple of days I had started feeling unwell. At first, I thought that Alex had given me food poisoning, but I wasn’t stupid. I secretly knew what it was, and I was freaking out. Massively.
In situations like this where I am going nuts, I would normally call Addie. I want her to hold my hand while I peed on a stick, but I couldn’t. I had to put my trust in the person I was sharing a home with. I had to be an adult about this.
I reached for my phone and sent a text message to Alex, asking him to come upstairs. It was Tuesday evening, so I was hoping it was slow enough for him to be able to escape. Minutes later, he was coming through the door, a look of worry on his face.
“What is it?” he asked. He took a seat on the sofa next to me and rested his hand on my knee. “What’s wrong?” He
dipped his head to look in my eyes. “What’s with the tears?”
“I’ve done something really stupid,” I whispered.
His face dropped before he leaned back a little. He looked shocked at my outburst, and I knew how it must have sounded to him.
“What do you mean?” he asked. “Are you regretting...?” He left the question open, waiting for me to fill in the blanks.
“No, I’m not.” I reached for his hand, entwining our fingers. “I’m happy here. It’s just...” I sighed, not knowing how to say it. “Come with me.” I pulled him with me, leading him to the bathroom. I pointed my finger to the sink where I’d left the pregnancy stick, waiting for his response. I really had no clue how he was going to take this. I wanted him to be okay with it, but I was also worried he was going to flip out. Having me move in was one thing, but having me and a baby might be one thing too many.
I watched as his shoulders tensed and I cringed, waiting for him to start yelling.
“Is this?” His hand shook when he picked up the test, staring down at it.
“It’s positive,” I whispered. “I’d have to go to the doctors to confirm it but I’ve taken three different ones and they all say...” I stopped talking when he spun around before his eyes flicked down to my stomach. I expected to see anger or hesitation in his gaze but there was none. Instead, his eyes glistened at me as he marched forward. He bent down and slipped his hands behind my knees and he lifted me up into his arms and spun us in a circle, carrying me Cinderella-style.
“What are you doing?” I shrieked, caught off guard by his actions.
“There’s really a little life inside of you.” His eyes went down to my stomach before coming back to my eyes.
I slipped my arms around his shoulders, smiling up at him, feeling relieved. “There is,” I whispered. “I was afraid to tell you but I...” I swallowed past the lump in my throat, trying to form my words. “We’re always honest with each other, and I didn’t want to keep anything from you.”