“But I don’t like letting you take all the blame! I can’t fucking stand the idea of you being punished for something you couldn’t help!” he protested.
“I could have helped it,” Ellilah said grimly. She was standing in the aisle, ready to go through the door as Roke just sat there in the pilot’s chair watching her go. He wanted to get up and do something—wanted to beg her to stay—but he felt frozen to the spot. She had all the momentum now and he had none.
“Ellilah—” he began.
“I could have stayed at the Priory of Extreme Atonement where I was meant to go in the first place—then I never would have broken my vows so badly. Instead, I chose to go my own way.” She lifted her chin. “Now I have to pay for my choices, that’s all.”
“But—” Roke began again.
“I have to go…while I still can. Thank you again for getting me a piece of the Lattice.” Leaning down, she pressed a sweet, lingering kiss to his lips. Cupping his face in her small hands, she looked into his eyes. “Goodbye, Roke. I’ll never forget you.”
Then, before he could say anything else, she was gone.
Fifty-Two
Elli hurried through the Docking Bay and the rest of the Mother Ship. She noticed, as she went, that there were still Christmas decorations everywhere, though the human holiday was past now. Well, maybe the humans were reluctant to take them down—they did make the huge ship seem festive and cheery.
Luckily, nobody she saw seemed to recognize her. Maybe because she was still wearing the red dress she’d put on for the Grand Parade that morning— Goddess, that seemed an age ago but, it really wasn’t that long—instead of her long white Novice robes.
She took the fastest route she could to the Sacred Grove and then took the lift to the upper level where the senior Priestesses lived. This was going to be the ticklish part—if anyone saw her or if the Ascending Priestess Superior was in her living quarters, things could go sideways very quickly.
Heart in her mouth, Elli approached the door that led to the Priestess Superior’s suite.
Please Goddess, she prayed silently as she rang the chime and waited for someone to answer the door. I know I broke my vows in the worst way possible, but please help me just one last time—please let me be able to get the Healing Lattice to the old Priestess Superior!
The door slid open and Elli was surprised to see no one standing there at all. Where was the priestess who served as a maid? Had the door opened up on its own?
Maybe the Goddess heard my prayer and opened it, Elli thought. Sending up a heartfelt prayer of thanks, she slipped into the Priestess Superior’s suite with a rustle of her long red skirts.
Quietly, she walked down the long hallway which led to the Ascending Priestess Superior’s office on one side and the bedroom where the Descending Priestess Superior lay dying on the other.
When she came to the end of the hallway, she hesitated a moment. Should she slip into the office and take a drink from the Mortem Amore elixir first, or go into the bedroom and give the piece of Healing Lattice to the old Priestess Superior? Her heart was aching from leaving Roke behind and she longed to be rid of her wrong thoughts and desires, but she knew the old lady was in pain.
The Priestess Superior should come first, Elli decided. I can take a sip of the Mortem Amore afterwards.
But just as she put her hand on the doorknob of the old Priestess Superior’s bedroom, she heard a rustling inside and the maid’s voice saying,
“Now then—you should be more comfortable in a bit once the Ascending Priestess Superior comes in with your medicine. Though why she won’t let me give it to you, I don’t know. But I’m sure she won’t be much longer.”
Heart pounding, Elli slipped into the office opposite the bedroom and shut the door as quietly as she could. She pressed her ear to the door, listening to see what would happen next. If the maid decided to come in and clean the office, she would be caught for sure!
I can’t be caught before I do what I came to do, Elli thought. I must heal the old Priestess Superior and take a sip from the Mortem Amore. Then they can do what they like with me, but I must get those two things accomplished.
To her relief, Elli heard the bedroom door open and close and then the sounds of the maid moving back down the hallway, towards the main living area of the suite. Thank the Goddess! Apparently she had a little more time to do what must be done—but only a little, since the Ascending Priestess Superior would be here soon to give the old Priestess Superior her medicine.
Have to hurry! she told herself and was about to slip back out of the office when her eyes fell on the carved wooden cabinet which was hanging on the wall beside the Priestess Superior’s shiny, varnished desk. Though she had meant to see to the old Priestess Superior first, it occurred to her that she might as well take a quick sip of the Mortem Amore since she was already here where it was kept.
She walked quietly over to the cabinet and used the ornate golden knob to open its tiny door. It was just big enough to hold the sacred golden chalice which contained the Mortem Amore elixir and had been built especially for that cause.
As she lifted the heavy golden goblet out of its small cabinet, Elli felt a twinge of uncertainty in her gut. The liquid inside the rich vessel was a thick, oily black and when she sniffed it, a bitter whiff that smelled almost poisonous assaulted her nostrils.
Should I really drink this? she asked herself. But then she remembered her parting from Roke—their last, sweet kiss and the way she would never see the big warrior again. Even now she longed for him—a longing that made her ache deep inside.
She loved him so much it hurt, and Elli didn’t want to hurt anymore.
Lifting the chalice to her lips, she sipped carefully from its dark, oily contents. The elixir seemed to coat her tongue with bitterness and Elli drew back hastily. She’d meant to drink more, but it seemed she didn’t have to. For as the slimy mixture slipped down her throat, she felt the burning pain of love and guilt extinguished at once, like a torch being put out in a bucket of water.
Or like the Crown Prince being thrown into the zorels’ water trough, whispered a little voice in her head. But that memory seemed suddenly very far away. Even though Elli knew it had only happened a few short hours ago, it felt like a lifetime ago—or like it had happened to another person. Thinking about it didn’t give her pain. In fact, nothing seemed to give her pain anymore—she felt completely calm and at peace, which was nice after so much emotional turmoil.
“I am cured of my sorrow,” Elli murmured, replacing the golden goblet carefully in the small carved wooden cabinet. “Thank the Goddess.” She was careful not to spill the thick black elixir—she had taken so little she was sure the Ascending Priestess Superior would never know the difference.
She was cured of her sorrow and guilt—which was wonderful—but was she also cured of her lust and hot-bloodedness? As an experiment, Elli closed her eyes and pictured Roke kissing her. She felt nothing. She thought of Roke doing more than kissing her—she remembered all the “Mirroring” they’d done together—still nothing.
Even picturing the night when Roke had taken her virginity had no effect on her. Oh, she knew it had been wrong, but it seemed like something that had happened to someone else a lifetime ago. The memory gave her no thrills or chills—it didn’t make her feel hot and cold and breathless with desire at all. She simply felt…nothing.
A little part of Elli felt sad at this realization. But it was a small part and she was sure it would fade soon. And she would never be troubled with wrong desires and forbidden lust again, for the Mortem Amore caused a permanent change. That was why the Shriving Ceremony was so solemn—when a priestess drank of the elixir as Elli had done, she gave up her carnal appetites forever.
It was good to be purged of her sinful lusts of the flesh, Elli told herself firmly as she shut the cabinet and turned back towards the door. She still remembered her past misdeeds and felt sorry for them, but she had no urge to commit them ever again.
She had been shriven of her desire and now she could do the will of the Goddess and heal the old Priestess Superior with the fragment of the Healing Lattice. She could—
Suddenly the door to the office banged open and someone exclaimed,
“Ellilah? What in the Goddess’s name are you doing here?”
Fifty-Three
Roke couldn’t do it.
He tried, but he simply couldn’t leave Ellilah behind.
He cut the motor to his engine, which he had been revving indecisively for the past several minutes, and unbuckled his seat harness. He didn’t care how foolish it was or what a risk he was taking, he had to find the little priestess and make certain she was all right.
Shortly after Ellilah had left, just as he was about to take off again, the nagging feeling of worry about her had begun to grow in his mind. At first, he had brushed it off, thinking it was just his lingering regret at losing her. But as the worry grew, he realized it must be something else.
Remember the feeling you ignored back at the palace, a little voice whispered in his head. Remember what almost happened when you ignored that! If Demon hadn’t been there to protect her, Ellilah would have been raped!
Not that he thought the little priestess was in danger of being raped here aboard the Mother Ship. No Kindred warrior would ever take a female against her wishes. But the nagging feeling of anxiety and unease grew and grew until he was certain she was in some kind of danger.
Have to find her—have to make certain she’s all right, he told himself, as he climbed out of his ship. Have to—
And that was when a Kindred guard pointed a blaster at his chest and said,
“Hold it right there—you’re wanted in connection with an incident of espionage.”
“What?” Roke tried to paste an innocent expression on his face. “Look, friend, you have the wrong male. I’m just here to—”
“Save your excuses,” the guard barked. “I’ve been ordered to bring you to Commander Sylvan for questioning at once. Now, move!”
There was nothing Roke could do but obey.
Fifty-Four
“Goodness gracious, is that really you, Ellilah?”
It was Beedra, the assistant to the Ascending Priestess Superior, standing in the doorway of the office and staring at Elli as though she’d seen a ghost.
“What are you doing back here on the Mother Ship?” she demanded. “You’re supposed to be at the Priory of Extreme Atonement on Pok! And why are you dressed like that?”
“It’s kind of a long story,” Elli told her. “I did go to Pok—only I didn’t go to the Priory of Extreme Atonement. Instead, I went to the Tenebrian palace—that’s why I’m dressed this way.” She indicated the long red dress with a sweep of her arm.
“But why in the world did you go there?” Beedra looked at her blankly.
“Because I heard you tell the Ascending Priestess Superior that a piece of the Tenebrians’ Healing Lattice could heal the old Priestess Superior. And look—I got one!”
Elli pulled the delicate linen handkerchief out of her pocket and unfolded it to reveal the glittering piece of rainbow crystal.
“Ohhh!” Beedra breathed, leaning over to study the tiny crystal. When she looked up at Elli, there were tears in her eyes. “Bless you, my dear! I wanted so much to get the old Priestess Superior a piece of that lattice but…” She trailed off, looking guilty.
“But the Ascending Priestess wouldn’t hear of it—I know,” Elli said grimly. “I heard your whole conversation.”
Beedra flushed, her plump cheeks going pink with guilt.
“I never meant to—that is, I never thought—”
“Never mind,” Elli told her. “I can tell you’re ashamed but I’m not going to condemn you—I’ve done things I’m ashamed of too, lately.”
Though she no longer felt very guilty about the sins she had committed, she knew she would have to confess them eventually. Still, it wasn’t time for that—not yet.
“We need to give the old Priestess Superior this piece of the Lattice,” she told Beedra. Before the Ascending Priestess Superior comes to give her medicine.”
The guilt cleared from the other priestess’s face and she nodded firmly.
“You’re right—come on!”
They slipped across the hall into the old Priestess Superior’s bedroom, but Elli barely had time to realize that the poor old woman looked worse than ever when they heard a hard, sharp voice in the hallway.
“I must give the Descending Priestess Superior her medicine and then I’ll be back to sort out those rosters. Have them laid out in my office, ready for me.”
It was the Ascending Priestess Superior, presumably talking to her maid. Elli and Beedra exchanged a panicked glance and then dived into the closet together.
“Hush,” Beedra breathed in Elli’s ear as they huddled side-by-side in the darkness. “We mustn’t let her know we’re here. Just wait until she gives the old Priestess Superior her medicine and goes—then we can come out and administer the Healing Lattice.”
“All right,” Elli whispered back. “We can keep an eye on her through here.” She indicated the rather wide crack where the door met the frame of the closet. It actually did offer a very good view of the old Priestess Superior’s bed, which was directly across from it.
As they watched, the Ascending Priestess Superior swept into the room, her pure white robes swishing around her dramatically. She came to sit on the side of the old Priestess Superior’s bed and shook her—none too gently—by the shoulder.
“Wake up!” she demanded as the old woman opened her eyes tiredly. “Time for your medicine!”
“I don’t want it.” The old Priestess Superior shook her head. “It tastes so bitter—can’t we skip it just this once?”
“Certainly not!” The Ascending Priestess Superior scowled as she drew a tall, bright green bottle out of her pocket. It had a dropper on one end and some strange writing on the side of it that Elli couldn’t read. Beside her, she felt Beedra stiffen.
“Oh my Goddess!” the other priestess murmured.
“What? What’s wrong?” Elli breathed, turning to look at Beedra’s stunned face, which was barely visible in the faint glow coming in from the crack.
“That…that’s not medicine!” Beedra whispered. “Those are Altherian Dreaming Drops!”
“What?” Elli shook her head in incomprehension. “What do you mean? What are Altherian Dreaming Drops?”
“A type of anxiety medicine—my mother used to take them,” Beedra breathed. “But if you take too much, they drain your energy. And large doses can be fatal!”
As she spoke, the Ascending Priestess Superior was filling the dropper of the bright green bottle with a dark purple liquid.
“Just take your medicine like a good girl,” she was saying to the old Priestess Superior. “I’m going to give you an extra big dose today and then I promise you’ll never have to take it ever again, all right?”
“Never again?” the old Priestess Superior quavered hopefully.
“Never again. In fact, you’ll never have to do anything ever again after this dose.” There was a cruel smile on the Ascending Priestess Superior’s thin lips. “I think it’s time your suffering was over and you went to meet the Goddess, don’t you?”
“I…I don’t know.” The old woman’s eyes were clouded with pain and uncertainty. “I suppose that would be nice.”
“Then open your mouth, dear, and take your medicine,” the Ascending Priestess Superior urged.
Obediently, the old woman opened her mouth.
“She can’t take that much!” Beedra whispered to Elli, her eyes wide with horror. “It will surely kill her! My mother only took a drop a day and even that turned out to be too much for her in the end!”
“We have to stop her!” Elli whispered back but Beedra shook her head, her eyes wide with fear.
“We mustn’t cross the Ascending Priestess! You don’t know her, Ellilah—she’s deadly.”
> “I don’t care about that,” Elli argued. “We can’t just let her kill the old Priestess Superior!”
She couldn’t stay silent in the closet anymore. With a wild cry, she burst out and knocked the dropper of “medicine” out of the Ascending Priestess Superior’s hand.
“What in the Seven Hells?” The Ascending Priestess’s eyes flashed with anger as she turned to Elli. “What do you think you’re doing?”
“Keeping you from poisoning the Priestess Superior!” Elli glared at her. “Did she ever have a wasting sickness at all, or have you been giving her those Dreaming Drops for months to make her ill?”
“What?” The Ascending Priestess Superior rose from the bed in one fluid motion to tower over Elli. “How dare you accuse me? And what are you doing back here, anyway, Novice? You’re meant to be at the Priory of Extreme Atonement!”
“I decided to go to the Palace of the Tenebrians to get a piece of the Healing Lattice to cure the old Priestess Superior instead,” Elli snapped. “But now I wonder how she got sick in the first place!”
The Ascending Priestess Superior arched one thin eyebrow at her.
“So you think I have been poisoning her for the past six solar months in order to take over her position?”
The glare she was giving Elli was so foreboding that Elli was tempted to tuck her head and apologize to the woman who was in authority over her. But one glance at the wasted form of the old Priestess Superior in the bed let her know she couldn’t do that.
“That’s certainly what it looks like,” she said, lifting her chin.
“Well, as a matter of fact…you’re absolutely right.” To Elli’s surprise, the Ascending Priestess Superior nodded her head. “I’ve been giving my predecessor there, Dreaming Drops in her tea from the minute I came aboard the Mother Ship. Once she was confined to her bed, I was able to give them to her straight from the bottle as ‘medicine’. The Dreaming Drops made her look like she’s got a wasting disease so nobody will be the wiser when she finally dies and I take over.”
The Priestess and the Thief Page 24