by Bold, Diana
Matt entered the dining room, and Luke gestured to the foot of the table. “Have a seat, Matt.”
Sarah threw him a scathing glare before returning to the kitchen. Becky hid a smile and seated herself to Matt’s right. “Sarah’s going to eat in the kitchen,” she reported. “She doesn’t want to join us.”
Luke cursed under his breath and pushed back his chair. “I’ll go get her,”
He found Sarah frosting a chocolate cake, humming beneath her breath. “You don’t belong in here by yourself.”
“It’s one thing for me to dine with you when we’re alone, quite another when you have guests.” She refused to meet his gaze and continued to frost the cake.
Frustrated, he grabbed her hand, startling her into dropping the knife on the kitchen counter. There was a glob of frosting on one of her fingers, and he drew it to his mouth, licking the sweetness away. “Come on, Sarah. I want you to have dinner with me. I want you to meet my brother. After all, if it wasn’t for him, you wouldn’t be here.”
Her eyes widened, and she stared at his lips with an intensity that made him dizzy with desire. Then she sighed and looked away. “I look a fright. I’ve been working all day, and I don’t have anything else to wear.”
“You look beautiful to me.” It was true, she always looked lovely in his eyes, but he understood her reluctance to dine with his family. Women took quite a store in outshining each other, and Becky was always immaculately turned out.
Sarah should never have to feel she didn’t measure up. He wished he had the right to buy her some new clothes. He wanted to spoil her rotten, give her all the things the war had taken from her. He could do so much for her, if only she’d let him.
She met his gaze and must have read some of his thoughts, because she relaxed. “All right. I’ll join you for dinner.”
Chapter Thirteen
SARAH FOLLOWED LUKE into the dining room. She met Becky’s wide grin with a small one of her own and slipped into the empty chair at Luke’s side.
“Have you met Matt yet?” Luke inquired.
Sarah shook her head and lifted her gaze to the man who sat at the foot of the table. He really didn’t look that much like Luke, she thought uncharitably. Luke was by far the more handsome of the two. Matt’s eyes were warm and brown, instead of Luke’s stormy gray, and his hair was lighter and much shorter.
“I’m Luke’s brother, Matthew. I hope you can forgive me for bringing you here under false pretenses.”
Matt was undeniably charming, and Sarah found herself returning his smile. She couldn’t be angry with this man, after having talked to Becky. She didn’t approve of his methods, but they wanted the same thing, after all. Luke’s happiness.
“It’s good to finally meet you,” she told him and was surprised to find that was the truth. “I’m sorry I missed the two of you the last time you were here.”
“Well, Luke was being less than civil, so we thought it would be best if we let him cool down.”
Luke snorted and passed Sarah the platter of mashed potatoes. “My brother is a master of understatement.”
“Let’s talk about something else, shall we?” Matt gave Sarah another smile. “The meal looks wonderful, Sarah. It’s a welcome relief from the slop Luke usually feeds me when I come to visit.”
Sarah frowned, her ire instantly roused by Matt’s condescending tone. “I like Luke’s cooking. The first night I arrived, he cooked me dinner.”
Matt raised an eyebrow. “Perhaps he cared more about impressing you than he does me.”
Becky cleared her throat. “I love what you’ve done with the house, Sarah. I never dreamed such beautiful rooms were hidden under all that dust.”
Sarah wondered if Matt and Becky realized that everything they said was in some way a subtle criticism of Luke. Did they do it on purpose, or were they simply trying to make conversation in their bumbling, well-meaning way?
Sarah reached beneath the table until she encountered Luke’s strong, wool-covered thigh. She squeezed, and his startled gaze flew to hers. “It wasn’t that bad,” she assured Becky without looking at her. “Just a little neglected and in need of some tender care.”
Luke covered her hand with his, a wry grin turning up one corner of his beautiful mouth. “Sarah’s quite an optimist. She thinks a bucket of water and a little elbow grease can cover up any flaw.”
“Maybe she’s right,” Matt murmured. “Or maybe she realizes that nothing in this house is broken beyond repair.”
Luke stiffened and deliberately removed Sarah’s hand from his leg. He gave his brother an angry glance. “Give it a rest, Matt. I’m not in the mood to listen to this tonight.”
Dinner was a strained affair after that. Becky and Sarah kept up a steady stream of small talk, but neither Luke nor Matt spoke more than a handful of words.
At last, it was over, and Sarah busied herself with clearing the table. Becky offered to help and between them, they managed to do the dishes in record time.
“You’ll have to excuse the two of them,” Becky murmured as she put the last of the dishes away. “They’ve been this way as long as I’ve known them, arguing and bickering. I know you think Matt goes too far, but he’s only trying to help.”
“Luke doesn’t need Matt’s help. He’s doing just fine on his own.”
Becky shook her head. “Oh, Sarah, you don’t know. You can’t imagine how it was. After he lost his foot, he laid in his bed for months, refusing to move, barely eating, and staring up at the ceiling like he was already dead.”
“It doesn’t matter,” Sarah replied, refusing to listen to anymore. “He’s changed. He’s doing fine. All he needs is a friend, and that’s what I intend to be.”
“You’re much too involved to stop with mere friendship.” Becky laughed and hung up the dishtowel. “I’ve seen the way you look at him. More importantly, I’ve seen the way he looks at you.”
“How does he look at me?” Sarah asked, unable to help herself.
“He stares at you as though you’re the center of his world.”
Sarah glanced over at her new friend, startled. “Really?”
Becky grinned. “Absolutely.”
“SO. HAVE YOU PROPOSED yet?” Matt’s dark eyes snapped with annoyance as he lit one of his expensive cigars and took a seat in the parlor. “It’s almost been a week.”
Luke poured himself a drink, realizing as he did so that it was the first time he’d felt the need since Sarah arrived. Matt was being a bastard, and he hadn’t the faintest idea why.
“It’s only been a few days. We’re still getting to know each other.”
Matt shot him a piercing look. “I think you’ve gotten to know her quite well.”
Luke downed his shot and ignored his brother’s comment. He hated that knowing glance, hated the fact that Matt was right. He never should have made love to Sarah before he’d given her the protection of his name.
He was saved from further comment by soft, feminine laughter coming down the hall. Becky and Sarah brightened the room immediately. Luke couldn’t tear his gaze away from the woman who had turned his life upside down.
Becky cuddled up next to Matt on the sofa. Luke couldn’t bear to watch the obvious love between them for even one more minute. Sarah lingered by the door, as though she didn’t want to endure the pleasantries any more than he did.
“Would you like to go for a walk?” The question was out before he could call it back, but when he saw the pleasure in Sarah’s green eyes, he found he’d meant it.
“I’d like that very much.”
Luke glanced at his guests. “Do you mind?”
Matt raised one eyebrow, his gaze warning Luke to be careful.
Luke ignored him and walked slowly, painfully, toward Sarah. His leg already ached. He’d overdone it today, but to get out of this house he’d gladly walk until his stump bled. When he reached Sarah, he offered his arm, and she took it, letting him lean on her just a bit until they reached the front porch.
He glared at her, knowing she’d sensed his weakness. “Don’t make allowances for me, Sarah. I can’t stand it. If you want to walk, we’ll walk.”
She touched his face and made him look at her. “Let’s go down to the river then. I’ve been meaning to explore it.”
“Good idea,” he muttered, feeling like an idiot. It wasn’t far, just over a quarter of a mile, but before they were even halfway there, he was in agony.
Damn his foolish pride. Sarah had offered him a graceful way out of this, but he’d refused it, and now he must pay the price.
They walked down the path in silence, and Luke concentrated on keeping his balance and ignoring the pain. When they arrived at the river’s edge, he lowered himself gratefully to the ground, stretching his poor abused leg out in front of him.
Sarah sat down beside him, twining her hand in his. “We really should have remained on the porch,” she chided. “But it’s very peaceful here. I’m glad you brought me.”
She looked lovely in the moonlight, and her hand was full of warmth and life. He wanted to bring it to his lips, but Matt’s lecturing had left him feeling guilty as hell. If he couldn’t find the courage to make her his wife, then he didn’t deserve to make love to her. So he sat with her on the riverbank, holding hands and listening to the soothing murmur of the river.
“Sometimes I miss the sounds of my childhood,” he told her, unthinking. “The sounds of cicadas and night birds. It’s so quiet here. Almost too quiet.”
“Cicadas and night birds?” Sarah raised an inquiring brow. “Where did you grow up?”
“Virginia,” Luke answered, cursing himself for leading the conversation to the past.
“I thought I heard the hint of a drawl in your voice,” she told him playfully. “That means you’re a Rebel, just like me.”
He frowned and stared at the moonlight dancing on the rippling water. “I didn’t believe in slavery, Sarah. That’s one of the reasons I came out here. In the West, it’s possible to make a living from the land without the blood and sweat of a hundred men who work for you only because you’ll whip them if they don’t.”
“Did your family own slaves?” She leaned a little closer, peering up at him in the darkness. “You speak so passionately about the subject.”
“When I was a kid, my best friend was a boy named Joe. He was my age. My father gave him to me for my tenth birthday, and we did everything together. Played, fought, rode, and took our lessons.” He smiled bitterly. “Joe was much brighter than I was. But instead of going on to the University with me, my father sent him back out to the fields.”
“That must have been hard on you both.”
Sarah’s soft comment surprised him, and he stared down at her, a flicker of hope blossoming in his chest. Perhaps if she could understand how much he’d loved his friend, she could understand why he’d turned his back on his home and gone to war wearing blue instead of gray.
“I told myself I didn’t care. I tried to convince myself everything was just as it should be. But then Joe got caught trying to escape, and my father had him shot.”
“Is that when you left Virginia?”
“That was part of it,” Luke conceded, regretting his loose tongue. This wasn’t the time to bare his soul.
She seemed to understand that he didn’t want to talk about it anymore, because for a while she was quiet again. His tension ebbed away.
“I missed you today,” she said at last.
“Did you?” He raised one brow in disbelief. “I can’t imagine why.”
“There are times when you’re actually quite nice.” She smiled. “You should let that side of you show more often.”
“I’ve forgotten how to be nice,” he admitted. “It’s much easier being alone.”
“I’m sorry I’ve made things so difficult for you,” she whispered. “But if it makes you feel any better, this isn’t easy for me, either.”
He sighed and squeezed her hand. “I’m sorry I’ve been pushing you away. I know it’s hard for you to understand, but I have my reasons for not inviting you to sleep in my room.”
“Just tell me you want me here, Luke. Tell me you’re not planning to send me away when you grow tired of me.”
“I could never grow tired of you, Sarah. Never.” He lifted his free hand and brushed his fingertips across the satiny curve of her cheek. Her eyelids drifted shut, and he could feel the rapid rhythm of her heart when he let his hand trail down the slender column of her throat.
Just a kiss, he thought desperately, his pain fading as his passion rose. Leaning forward, he brushed his lips against hers with infinite restraint.
She shuddered and tangled her free hand in his hair, pulling him closer, returning the kiss with sweet abandon. Luke groaned at the fire of her response, desire exploding within him, leaving a million nerve endings quivering in its wake. Despite his earlier promises to himself, he wanted to feel her body, naked and warm, against his. He wanted to possess her and regain the confidence in himself that he’d lost.
The kiss deepened, and Sarah matched him step for step, participating equally in the passionate embrace. He cupped her face with his hands and then let them drift lower, down her throat and across the upper swell of her breasts.
Sarah shivered when Luke’s fingertips brushed her nipples through the fabric of her dress, sending sparks of desire pooling low in the pit of her stomach. He bent over her, his mouth leaving hers to follow in the wake of his hands. She closed her eyes and cupped his beautiful dark head, lost in the magic of his touch.
“Sarah,” he whispered, his hands expertly working the buttons on her bodice. “Let me look at you.”
Within seconds, he had her bare to the waist. He drew back, staring down at her as though she was the most beautiful thing he’d ever seen. “I walked in on you that night when you fell asleep in the bath,” he admitted, his voice low and rough. “Your breasts were wet, and I wanted to touch them so much I thought I was going to die.”
She gasped, flushing under his perusal and the weight of his words. He chuckled. Then he sobered and grazed her nipple with his forefinger. “You’re so beautiful, Sarah. I could look at you for the rest of my life.”
His elegant hands played over her body with all the skill he’d lavished on the piano, wringing a soft, breathy gasp from her lips. His touch was sheer heaven, and she didn’t want this night to ever end.
Lowering her to the grassy riverbank, he ran his lips down the column of her throat, trailing hot, fiery kisses across her skin and igniting a fierce, deep ache in the pit of her stomach. Then he ran his tongue across her nipple, nipping and suckling her until she thought she’d die with the pleasure of it.
With an abruptness that startled her, he rolled away and flopped on his back beside her, his arm flung over his eyes, his breath coming in harsh pants.
She blinked several times, coming back to herself and feeling the chill night air. Trembling, she righted her clothes.
She turned on her side to look at him, feeling bereft without the warmth of his touch. He seemed to be in physical pain, his big body taut with tension.
“What happened?” she whispered, tentatively touching his shoulder. “Did I do something wrong?”
He groaned and shook his head. “Just give me a minute.” His voice was rough and fractured, and she let her hand fall away from him, unsure what to do.
At last, he lowered his arm and met her troubled gaze. He brushed a strand of hair from her cheek. “Pulling away from you is the hardest thing I’ve ever done. But I can’t kiss you and touch you without wanting so much more.”
She flushed and let her gaze wander down the length of him to the straining ridge so lovingly molded by the thin fabric of his trousers.
His laugh sounded a bit unsteady. “Don’t look at me that way, sweetheart. I’m doing my best to be noble.”
“You’re not taking advantag
e of me,” she protested. “I wanted you to kiss me. I love what we do together.”
“I am taking advantage.” His beautiful eyes grew somber. “I’ve already made so many mistakes where you’re concerned. Christ, I’m afraid I’ve already ruined your reputation.”
“Ruined?” She shook her head, willing him to understand what she was feeling. “I’ve seen what it means to be ruined. And what I felt just now, in your arms, was far from that.”
He leaned forward and kissed her. A sweet, tender press of his lips. “I don’t ever want you to leave me.”
So marry me. The answer was so simple, but she didn’t have the courage to speak the words out loud. She’d just given him the perfect opportunity to admit that he wanted her for more than just a quick tumble, but he’d made light of it, and now she was lost, uncertain.
It was becoming more and more clear to her that no matter how much he might want her body, he didn’t want it enough to make her his wife.
“I think we should go back,” she told him miserably, her heart shattering. “Matt and Becky will be wondering where we are.”
He frowned, looking as though he’d liked to say more, but she turned her head, unable to face him any longer. It was painfully obvious that she’d made a fool of herself tonight, and she didn’t want him to read the truth in her eyes.
She’d fallen in love with a man who would never love her in return.
Chapter Fourteen
HE’D HANDLED THE SITUATION badly.
Luke knew he’d done or said something terribly wrong, but he wasn’t quite sure how to fix it. Sarah stalked ahead of him, her slim back a rigid line of control.
He wanted to grab her by the shoulder, pull her back into his arms, and kiss all her fears away, but he didn’t trust himself to ever let her go. She’d become an obsession and now that he’d tasted her, he couldn’t help but want more.
How could she think he didn’t want her? He knew that was the root of what was upsetting her. It would have been laughable if not for the tears he’d glimpsed in her eyes when she’d turned away from him.