by Nina Lincoln
I don’t know how I can ever face Griff again, which is just as well because I’m pretty sure he doesn’t want anything to do with me. But it’s all the more painful after the last few days when everything was idyllic and we existed in a world of our own. It’s my own damn fault. I knew this was barreling down on me.
Finally, because I have no idea what’s going to happen to me when I get to the bus station, and maybe I’m being melodramatic, but my heart hurts, I text Griffin again.
I didn’t lie. I’ve never lied.
Five hours later, we pull into the station near the college, and I spy Patch outside the window, waiting with a nasty smirk.
With a sigh, I pull myself up and step from the bus, glancing down when my phone buzzes in my hand.
Griff: How do I know this isn’t a lie?
Hals: I guess you don’t. Goodbye Griff
Griff: ??
“Ah, here’s my girl. C’mon,” Patch says, rolling his eyes over me avidly.
Frowning, I pull away when he rests his hand at my back to lead me out of the building and with crawling skin, I hold out the necklace. “Here.”
But he ignores me as he pushes me along and with a trickle of fear, I stop up short at the car he’s heading toward as he turns to me with an impatient look.
“Get in the car,” he says through clenched teeth.
Holding out the necklace again, I pray he takes the fucking thing. “I can walk from here. Just take it.”
He raises a brow and pushes my hand away impatiently. “Nope, in the car.”
“No,” I whisper, stepping away.
Absently, I note my phone is buzzing in my pocket, but I can’t turn my focus from Patch, who looks around warily before going to grab my arm.
Stepping farther away, I back up slowly, glancing at the people around me and the safety in numbers. “Do you want it or not?”
“Bitch, you’re going to regret this.”
“I doubt it,” I say shakily, closing my hand around the necklace when he ignores it once again.
With a snarl, he gets in his car, and I watch him drive away with a trickle of relief before finding a bench under the city bus stop sign and collapsing against the seat.
Shit. That was close, and I have no idea what I just evaded, but judging by the gleam in his eyes, it could have been anything.
My phone buzzes again, and I pull it out with shaking fingers, reading through the texts Griffin sent in quick succession.
Griff: What the fuck does that mean?
Griff: Halsey?
Griff: Halsey, where the fuck are you?
I also have three missed calls, and as I stare at the phone, bewildered, it buzzes again, my brother’s picture filling the screen.
“Yeah?”
“What the fuck did you do?” he roars.
The blood in my head rushes through my ears because he sounds furious and panicked. Fuck.
Exhaling shakily, I drop my head and sigh. “He wouldn’t take it.”
“Then why is he calling me pissed off?”
“Because I refused a ride.”
For a moment, there’s silence while his heavy breathing sails through the line before he makes a weird animal sound that raises the hairs on my neck. “You’ve done it now.”
“Why? Because I refused to get in a car with him? Do you hear yourself right now? You stole from your best friend and sent me into a dangerous situation! This has got to stop!” I don’t wait around for an answer and end the call with a frustrated yelp.
Immediately my phone buzzes again, and I roll my eyes, but it’s not Max this time. It’s Griffin.
“Hello?”
“Where are you?” His rich voice fills my ear, and I sag against the bench, rubbing my head.
“I’m at the bus station.”
“Where?”
“Near campus.”
“Stay there,” he says before dropping the call.
“Fuck!”
Covering my face with my hands, I scream into my fingers before glancing up and making eye contact with a guy sitting near me, only to shrink away when he gives me the stink eye.
Crap. What the fuck am I doing?
Pulling up my phone to get directions to the dorm, I’m standing to walk, hefting my bag over my shoulder, when Griffin pulls up in front of me.
What the fuck?
His eyes are shiny pools of ice as he rolls down the window. “Get in.”
“What are you doing here?”
“Just get in,” he says through clenched teeth.
Wrenching open the door, I slide inside, and he pulls away, his jaw ticking as he stares at the road.
“Griffin, what are you doing here?”
“What do you think? I came as soon as I heard your fucking brother put you on a fucking bus.” His eyes flash his impatience as he looks me over quickly before turning away.
“Why?”
I’m so confused, I don’t know which way is up, and I’m exhausted by the whiplash.
Pulling to the side of the road abruptly, he turns to me with a furrowed brow. “What’s really going on?”
“Huh?”
“C’mon, you were searching my closet for a sweatshirt? Your brother is all of a sudden defending you? And the rape shit? What’s going on, Halsey?”
Shrinking away from him, I search desperately for answers I don’t have because I don’t know how to tell the truth, and I’m afraid.
I’m afraid to see the hate in his eyes because whatever he thought of me before is nothing compared to how he’s going to feel now, and maybe that makes me pathetic, but I’m human, and I love.
He shifts in his seat, his hands clenching the wheel. “Stop trying to think up a fucking lie.”
“Griffin,” I mutter, licking my lips. “What does it matter? You don’t care, remember?”
His eyes darken, and he leans toward me, grasping the back of my neck. “On the contrary, I care too damn much.”
With that, he kisses me desperately, and I open just the same because my need for him is that great even as my heart breaks. Where was he a year ago? When I made the greatest mistake of them all?
When he pulls away, his eyes are etched with pain as he turns back to the windshield and frowns. “No more lies.”
“Fine. That goes for you, too.”
“Which lies would those be?” he asks dryly.
“Let’s start with the bet. You know, where you lost to Bobby Moore? How come that fucking jacket is still hanging in your closet?”
His jaw clenches, and he glares at me briefly. “Fine. There was no bet.”
“Why?” I whisper, my stomach wrenching painfully. He let me believe he bet away my virginity, and it was devastating for the girl who only loved him as he threw her away.
With an ironic lift of his brow, his mouth curves into a self-deprecating smile. “Because you spit in the face of my supposed feelings.”
“Supposed? Whatever. It doesn’t matter because it never happened.”
Pounding his fist on the wheel, he barks out a laugh. “I saw you with him and Bobby’s sister had that necklace.”
“I don’t know what to tell you,” I say wearily. “I was never with him and I hardly ever took it off. She would have had to crawl through my window…”
Glancing at my hands twisted in my lap, I wonder once again just how far Max has gone to keep us apart.
Was he scheming even then? Fuck.
“What?” Griffin asks impatiently.
“Nothing, I didn’t sleep with Bobby. I never gave anyone the damn necklace.”
“Really? Then how do you explain Bobby at your house, the night before we went on our trip?”
Blankly, I stare at him as I search through my memories and when I remember, I huff out a rude laugh. His eyes narrow as I say scathingly, “The night before our trip? When you promised me, you would go with me to the school art festival? And never fucking showed?”
He winces but nods his head, his eyes so fucking heated I
think I’m singed. “Yes.”
“You’re a dick,” I mutter, turning away. “Bobby’s mom drove me home because she felt sorry for me and she forced Bobby to walk me to the door. I assume that’s what you’re talking about?”
His eyes crinkle at the corners as he studies me, and when I don’t drop my gaze, he turns to the windshield with a frown, and mutters, “And Jason?”
“Really? That’s all you have to say?” Scoffing, I cross my arms over my chest and look out the window.
Slamming his hands against the steering wheel, he bows his head. “What do you want me to say? Nothing makes sense. What about Jason?”
“I don’t want to talk about it.”
“Halsey!”
“No! It’s over, just…just let it be!”
Searching my expression, he frowns before his mouth curves in his signature smirk, but it’s filled with bitter rage and my stomach drops. “Why? Because you lied? Or you still have feelings for him?”
Sighing into the universe, I rub my aching forehead. “This is all so fucked up.”
“Tell me about it,” he says.
“Griffin—”
“Just tell me.”
“Tell you what?” I say, fighting back angry tears. “The truth is, Griffin, I made a huge fucking mistake. Because I cared for someone who doesn’t give a shit about me, and I walked into a situation that I can never take back. And frankly, it’s none of your business.”
“How do you figure? How does this not involve me when you basically said it in your damn diary?” He’s gazing at me so intently, I have to drop my eyes because even in this, I can’t bear to see his darkness.
“Because,” I whisper. “You made it perfectly clear…you don’t care who I fuck, as long as it’s not you…well, there you go.”
“So, you did fuck him…them?” He laughs, but it’s coated in a bitter veneer that beats at my heart.
Glancing at my fingers once more, I nod as a stray tear drips down my cheek. When I pull my head around, he asks, quietly, “Why the tears?”
“Because I will never regret anything more.”
His eyes drop to painful pools of confusion before he nods. “Me too.”
Griffin drives me to his house without another word spoken, and when I go to protest, he mutters, “Are the dorms even open?”
Oh. Sitting back, I mentally sigh because it didn’t occur to me, they wouldn’t be, but now that he’s said it, I realize they don’t open back up until Sunday.
I’m stuck with Griffin through the end of the week—fuck me. Unless he leaves me here and goes back, but he doesn’t seem inclined to when he lets me inside and carries a bag down the hall to his room.
My space is the same as I left it, with the clothes I packed in a hurry and left on the bed still lying there. The wall I painted greets me as I enter, and sitting on the bed, I stare at it blankly, going over our conversation.
So, Griffin lied about the bet. Although, I’m relieved that my earliest memories with him weren’t lies, I’m also devastated because of how much has happened over a fantastical story that broke apart a friendship.
I lost my best friend and the boy I was coming to love, and for what? Who told him the lie? Was it Max?
Did my own damn brother betray me? And Griff?
In the end, it doesn’t matter because there’s too much cruelty between us, not to mention the secrets and lies piling up around me.
Besides, Griffin’s confessions don’t mean he’s been harboring an undying love for me, so we’re still where we started at the beginning of the year.
With a sigh, I dig around in my pocket for my phone and pull out the necklace instead. Shit. Glancing around wildly, I rush to my closet and hide it in with my paints, before easing onto my knees with a sigh.
Fuck. Now what? I’m glad the fucker didn’t take it when I offered it to him, in the wake of Griffin’s words, but this doesn’t solve the bigger issue—what to do about Patch and Max.
“I’m going out,” Griffin says gruffly, to which I jump and spin around.
His eyes narrow for a moment before he nods and heads out, leaving me with my thoughts and a serious dose of heartache.
Chapter Thirty-Three
What goes around comes around.
“Wake up,” Griffin murmurs, brushing my hair back from my face.
“Hm.” With a yawn, I open my eyes to see him looming over me.
I fell asleep on the couch, staring at the television until I couldn’t take it anymore, and I dropped into exhaustion.
Sitting up with a small smile, I stretch and shiver when he looks me over with a dark expression.
“C’mon, I got Chinese.”
“Okay.”
Sitting down across from him, I eat quietly, sensing an awkward tension, which isn’t too unusual but feels worse in the wake of everything between us.
After a few moments, in which I study him carefully, my heart hurting at his sheer beauty, he raises his eyes to mine, the hazel depths cool.
Shivering, I glance away, fiddling with the chopsticks because although I’m desperate for a connection after everything, I’m also put out by his actions at the lake. He hurt me again, and it’s a reminder that we’re two twisted people who can’t make this work.
“I’ve decided,” he says firmly.
“Decided what?”
“I’m done pretending. I want you. I have since the day I met you,” he says with a caustic smile. “I don’t know what’s going on, but I think you’re hiding shit from me, and still, I can’t stay away.”
Dumbfounded, I stare at him before licking my lips. “What?”
“I refuse to sit back and watch while some other dick plays with what’s mine, because you are mine. No more.” He slashes his hand through the air.
“So…you don’t trust me, and you don’t want me to be with anyone else? Have I got that right?”
“Yep.”
Dumbly, I stare into his glittering eyes before I clench my teeth so hard pain shoots up my jaw. “Fuck off!”
He raises a brow as I stand, ignoring the tingle of feels I have at the thought that he wants me because damned if it isn’t under some seriously ridiculous circumstances.
“I’m not a toy. You can’t claim me because you don’t want anyone else to play with me!”
“Can’t I?” He rises to stand across from me and leers like an asshole. “Oh, sweetheart, it’s already done.”
“You’re delusional.”
“Me? What are those little blue pills for again?” Oh, how I hate his fucking smirk.
“Fuck you! This is how you think it’s gonna work?”
“I didn’t say I was happy about it. And for the record, I’m not sure I even like you,” he bellows.
“Then what the fuck is this about?” I shout, my heart pulsing at his words.
Leaning over until we’re practically touching foreheads, he says through gritted teeth, “I want you.”
“So, it’s about sex?” Is he for real?
“It’s about whatever,” he says, flicking his hand.
“It’s about, you’re fucking crazy, and I am too for even having this conversation.”
“Think what you will, but from this day forward, you’re mine.”
“Ha!” I yell, to which he smirks and grabs his erection lewdly.
Rolling my eyes, I stomp from the table and slam into my former room, sliding to the floor as I rub my aching brow. What the fuck just happened?
And why does my chest feel like it’s going to explode at that?
∞∞∞
Griffin gives me a couple of hours to brood before he uses his key and unlocks my door.
“Please do come in,” I say dryly from where I’m lying on my bed with my arm over my eyes.
Ignoring my sarcasm, he steps up to the bed and demands, “Let’s go.”
“Where? It’s ten o’clock at night.”
“Exactly.” He holds out his hand, but I just stare at him until he sighs.
Dropping his hand, he starts undressing, and for a minute, I’m speechless as his yummy pecs come into view. I have to roll my tongue back into my mouth when he smirks at me devilishly.
“What are you doing?” I ask a tad breathlessly.
“Going to bed.”
“Here?”
He shrugs before dropping his pants. “It would appear so.”
Staring wide-eyed at his erection as tingles surge in my core, I watch, bemused, as he pushes aside the covers, lifts me up, and sets me down on the sheet before crawling in beside me and turning off the bedside lamp.
The sounds of our breathing are the only thing I hear as I process the fact that Griffin is lying in my bed because apparently, he wants to sleep with me.
Huh.
Rustling breaks out before he pulls me into his arms with my back to his front and lays his chin in the crook of my shoulder. Quietly, we lie there as I wait for him to make a move, but he doesn’t, and I’m left confused and aching because his damn erection is brushing tantalizingly against my ass.
Finally, I shift, and he chuffs but still says nothing. Whatever, if he’s not going to do it, then I guess it’s up to me.
Pressing my fingers against my aching clit, I roll them around and bite back a moan, shuddering when he reaches around and covers my hand.
“You need dick, sweet?” he rumbles.
“Mm,” I whimper, stubbornly holding back the words after his crude question.
“Say it.” He presses his palm against my core and grinds harshly.
Stars dance behind my eyes, and I gasp, pleasure surging heavily, but then he stops, and I’m left panting as he slows to a gentle caress. “Tell me.”
Mewling my frustration, I push his hand away, but he’s immovable, bucking his cock against me until I cave because he’d do it better anyway.
“Please,” I whisper gruffly.
“Please what?”
“Griffin!” I snap, and he chuckles, shoving his hands down my shorts and grinding his palm against my clit as he slides two fingers inside me.
“Yes,” I moan, riding his hand while he pants in my ear. The sweet slide rises inside of me, and I know the pleasure I crave is right behind it, so I buck into him desperately, clenching when he groans.