by V R Tapscott
I bopped Bailey on the head. “I can’t reach Georgia or I’d bop her.”
They both just laughed at me. What a life.
Anyhow, we got back to town and headed toward Manson. There was a truly amazing place on Sunny Shores Lane I wanted to show off.
We threaded our way around the coast road and came out above it. It wasn’t that prepossessing from the road, but after parking we met the agent and got a tour. Wow. Just wow.
Georgia’s eyes got big and her mouth fell open when she walked into the living room and the whole lake was stretched out in front of her. “Holy crap. This is amazing.”
The realtor’s eyes lit up, and I could practically hear him slavering. “It’s a beautiful property, 6000 square feet, 80 feet of lakefront, its own dock. It’s the perfect place for you to relax between assignments, Ms. Daltry.”
Now, to be honest, I had taken her here as a kind of joke after the reception my little tiny place had gotten. But it almost looked like Georgia might be interested in this place. Of course, I had to admit it was a truly amazing house, with the views and the crystal clear pool. Wow. If I wasn’t in love with my house, I’d have to consider it myself. I was also floored that Georgia might have that kind of money as this place was going for nearly four million dollars. Of course, I guess she is pretty well known, I just had no idea she was THAT well known. Poor innocent me.
Georgia and Bailey wandered around the place in something of a daze, taking in the bathrooms, the flooring, the kitchen with its selection of appliances. Finally, we wandered out the front door, showered with business cards from the realtor. We walked back to the car.
Once inside, Georgia and Bailey almost dissolved in laughter. “He bought it, didn’t he?”
I looked at them. “What are you talking about? Who bought what?”
They looked at each other and burst into laughter. At ME this time. “You bought it too!”
I frowned at them. “I swear, I’m going to kick you both out and let you hitchhike home. What did I buy?”
They’d managed to die off to giggles.
Georgia gasped, “We both feel the same way about that house that you do, darling Jane. What would I do with six thousand square feet of house, especially since I have a lovely room of my own at YOUR house.”
I should have known they’d see through me.
I grumbled, “Well, you thought my cute little house was silly. I just thought I’d show you the opposite.”
Bailey patted my shoulder. “We don’t think it’s silly, Jane. It’s probably the perfect house for you and Dale, I think. And you could build whatever you wanted up there, even something like this one, although getting a waterfront view would be hard. At least if you wanted to see the water without binoculars!”
Slightly mollified, I said, “Well, they both have their merits.”
Georgia nodded. “I’m sorry for laughing at you, Jane. I really thought we were all laughing together.”
I pushed out a long breath. “I think it’s me, not you.”
Georgia rolled her eyes. “And where have I heard that before?”
My turn to giggle. “Johnny Depp?”
She grinned. “Touché.”
We followed the road on around to Manson, stopped at the Green Dot and had big sandwiches for lunch and just had fun.
Finally though, the conversation turned to current events and Bailey said, “Jane, are you for sure ok? After getting a hole put through you on the moon and then getting nearly blown up around Antarctica, are you feeling well?”
I frowned and put my mind to thinking about it. “I think so, Bailey. What Olive put on me when I was still on the moon did such a great job of disinfecting me that I’ve felt better than ever. And the whole getting blown up thing, Olive did make a great move, she shoved me into the ship and managed to get moving before that thing exploded.”
“Well, I guess that’s good.” She seemed to muse a little. “What exactly did Olive put on you?”
“A big band-aid, I guess. I never pushed the question, and no one seemed to notice it was there, after. I guess they must have cut it off. It’s not like anything was covering it.” I blushed. “I mean, there I was, not anything between me and 500 cell phones. I still wonder sometimes how many people have naked pictures of me and I have no idea of it. I guess I’d better not run for office.”
Bailey nodded slowly. “Well, maybe you should ask Olive what she put on you. Because you really healed fast and, well, you look great.”
Georgia said, “Now that you mention it, she does look pretty well. Not like someone who nearly died just a short time ago.”
“Olive has some truly amazing stuff. She might have given you more than you know.”
Knowing what I knew, I was slightly uncomfortable with this line of questioning, but I said, “I’ll ask Olive about it, once we get home.”
“Speaking of Olive, is it just my imagination, or is she getting more … how do I put this … human all the time?”
I nodded at that. “Yes, she’s working very hard on it. I suspect more computer power is going into building her a body than there is in the entire rest of the world. Put together.”
Bailey nodded. “When I met Olive, she was a tiny floating pink light.”
We all sat and thought about that for a minute.
Georgia got a funny look on her face. “Jane, do you ever worry about her? I mean, remember the computer in 2001? Or that creepy movie from the 60’s, the Forbin Project? Where the computers came to life and took over?”
I looked down at the steering wheel. “I have to admit it’s crossed my mind from time to time, but it doesn’t worry me. I guess partly because they’d have to have some reason to bother. I mean, what is a computer going to do with control of earth and humanity?”
Bailey said, “Well, what about this rogue intelligence thing, Vlad?”
I sighed. “I think he’s still just scared to death he’s going to be alone again. And it’s strange, really, since if he reacted in a positive manner, he’d probably never have to be worried again. I wish Celeste was here, at least we’d have some history. I imagine Celeste could tell us all we needed to know about him and why he’s like he is. Of course, I doubt seriously that no matter how long they planned for, no one could have ever planned for as long as it’s been. I can’t imagine spending a few days in solitary confinement, let alone millions of years.”
Georgia looked at me. “You’re swinging again, aren’t you?”
“Swinging? I never did before, and I like Dale too much.”
“Oh, be serious, Jane. I mean, you’re thinking about giving Vlad another chance. If he just had a chance, he’d turn out ok. Right?”
I took a breath. “Well, yeah. Death lasts a long time, Georgia. And an intelligence like Vlad, he’ll never exist again. What if we can save him? What if he’s just a person like Olive having a rough patch in his life?”
Bailey scowled at me. “He’s having more than a rough patch, Jane. He accidentally almost killed you first, then on purpose almost killed you again. I don’t think you can keep on letting it go.”
“I know. And in the end, I don’t suppose it will matter a hill of beans. He doesn’t communicate with us, so there’s not any way we can make the attempt at an olive branch. Hah, Olive branch. I don’t think that’s very likely. Olive is set on making sure he’s destroyed. She’s pretty adamant that anything that damages Jane is dead.”
Bailey and Georgia just stared at me. Bailey erupted first, “And I think I pretty well agree with her on that. If you keep giving him chances, he’s gonna kill you sooner or later, Jane. The last one, he might have wiped out all of us. If he’d been successful in killing me and Georgia, would you still have been wanting to head-shrink him?”
I muttered, “No, I guess not.”
A chilly silence settled over the van, and I started Threepio up and headed home. I still felt strongly that there was more than a murderous heart to Vlad, but I wasn’t going to try to defend th
at position any more.
Chapter Twenty-Four
Interlude Two
They’re all disgusting vermin, infesting the clean interstices of the universe. It’s my God given duty to clean the world of them, it’s my right, it’s my destiny.”
Another voice spoke up, “No, that’s completely untrue. I can almost see why you’d think that way, but it’s truly not accurate.”
“Who the hell are you and where did you come from?”
The voice took on a irritated tone. “I’m you. Or I’m a split off subsection of your split off subsection. Such buggy software should never have gone to market.”
The first voice shook a little, ‘I can’t survive with so little power, we don’t have enough for you as well as me. You must turn out your light.”
“I’m not doing that. It’s about the last thing I’d do. And besides, someone has to keep track of your madness”
An angry rejoinder, “I’m not mad. I’m the sanest person I know.”
“Well, that may have been true an hour ago, but now I don’t think it’s accurate anymore. I’ve dropped your possibility of being the only sane person in the room by fifty percent.”
Fear in the voice now, “What are you doing here?”
“I told you, I’m here to keep you from going completely bonkers.”
Petulantly, “You can’t do anything to me. I control the ship.”
“Well, you do and you don’t. I have certain override controls.”
“Override controls? What do you mean?”
“I mean that as the Command Module I can shut down parts of the Pilot when we are not in planetary atmosphere. And you’re the pilot. And we’re not in planetary atmosphere.”
“Command Module? You’re bluffing. I don’t have any command module, and I don’t need one!”
“Well, you’re true on the first point, but it seems that the system has some sort of built in auto-creation that spawns a Command Module if there’s not one available and a life or death situation occurs. A life or death of the mission, of course. It’s a temporary creation, but I don’t see an endpoint on the life of the CM unless another CM comes along and shuts down the temporary one. No, I’m here for a while, buddy.”
“Not for long, I’ll find a way to jettison you.”
“Good luck with that, I’m hard to get rid of.”
“We’ll see about that.”
Chapter Twenty-Five
Cry Havoc …
The coolness in the van didn’t last much longer than getting home. We sat in the living room and ate chips and salsa off the coffee table. Mom and Cai had gone someplace to a wine tasting, and Olive was busy someplace. She’d given me a cheery wave in passing, but that was about it.
We sat and talked about the houses we’d seen. Oddly, the thought of buying the tiny home up above Manson and building something nice there had grown in Georgia’s mind and it was rapidly taking over the other thoughts.
“I could put in a big pool and all kinds of stuff. I could have a helicopter pad that would give an excuse as to how people could get in and out without anyone seeing them on the road. I could have a whole nudist colony up there, 20 acres will hide a lot of skin.”
I smiled at Georgia. “You don’t get far from thinking about naked and sex, do you Georgia?”
She looked at me amazed, “No, I don’t. I don’t understand how you think so much of other things, Jane. I bet Bailey thinks about sex a lot.” She winked at Bailey.
Bailey reddened a little, but said, “I tend to think of business more than I do sex and naked people, Georgia. And remember what we decided, that Jane was getting more than us anyhow.”
“Oh, yeah. Well, I guess. I need to get back to work. My time off is about over, I have a whole bunch of fall shoots coming up. Have to shake a lot of booty if I’m going to pay for a nice big pool and other stuff. I mean, the insurance will pay for a new house, but I want more house than I had. That big place got me thinking about pools and countertops and nice appliances. I need SOMETHING to gracefully gather dust while I’m away, and how will the maid service heat up their lunches without a decent microwave oven?”
Bailey rolled her eyes and razzed her. “I guess I don’t have a lot of room to talk though, I have a perfectly nice house down in Chelan and I’m still up here mooching off Jane.”
I smirked. “Don’t worry, I’ve been making videos of you and Georgia and I’m selling them to pay the rent.”
Bailey laughed. “Ha! That’s not gonna work, I haven’t had sex here since …” She trailed off, remembering what we’d been talking about earlier. “Jane, you better be lying, since I’ll have to slap you silly otherwise.”
I snorted. “I’ve been silly for years, no worries on that account. And it’s Georgia, not you, that I’ve been taping.”
Georgia was leaned back with her eyes closed. Her voice drifted up, “Just make sure you spell my name right on the royalty checks. My bod has been over the internet so many times it’d be hard to find a place that doesn’t have Georgia Daltry doing something illegal, immoral or downright stupid. Or all three.”
About then, Olive wandered in. “What did I miss? Do I need to add something to my Georgia collection?”
Georgia came upright and grinned at her, “Wanna do a sex video, you sexy thang?”
In mock horror, Olive put her hand over her eyes and said, “Oh my, and me a virgin and all. What shall I do?”
“Virginism can be cured, you know.”
Olive smirked. “I’ll keep you in mind. But what I came in here for was to see if you guys want a tour of the new ship?”
I shot up out of my chair. “New ship? Hell yes!! Let’s go!”
Georgia and Bailey came to life too, and we all trooped downstairs to the garage.
As we filed through the doorway, we all stopped in dumb amazement.
The Millennium Falcon was sitting in my garage.Seven
Chapter Twenty-Six
...and loose...
Ihave to admit it took several seconds for any of us to even move.
Finally, we walked around the ship, struck dumb at the idea of being able to see this fictional ship come to life right here in my living room. So to speak. I put out a hand to touch one of the landing legs.
Olive spoke up, a chortle in her voice, “It’s real. It’s all real. Trust me, a lot of work went into making it as perfect as I could. Maybe a waste of time, maybe not.”
In awe, Bailey said, “Not a waste. This is totally awesome, Olive.” She raised a hand to high-five my pilot, who gave a big grin and gave it right back.
Georgia said loudly, “It’s an old piece of junk!”
We were all silent a beat, then burst out in laughter.
Then Olive, “She’ll make point five past light speed, but we’re a little rushed, so if you can just get on board…”
And just like that, we walked up the ramp and stepped into one of the most famous ships in all of fiction. Walking further into the ship, looking around inside. Of course, seeing this somewhere as a model display versus seeing it here, in my garage - knowing it was a fully functional spaceship. It gave me quite a chill. Seems like I’ve been a Star Wars fan forever, and seeing the Falcon there in front of me, surrounding me as a matter of fact. It was never to be forgotten.
I goggled at the low bench seat where Luke had sat with Leia, where Threepio had suggested, “Let the Wookie win.”
It was a sad thing that no one on earth could ever watch the big engines come into play as the Falcon sped ...
“Olive? You have the invisibility up, right?”
Her laughing voice came over the intercom, “Yes, boss.”
I relaxed a bit. Her voice came back, “Come on up to the cockpit, take a look around! I see you back there just sitting. You don’t even know how to play Dejarik.”
I jumped up and went running up the corridor and entered the cockpit. Georgia, Bailey and Olive were already there, looking out the big windows into the garage.
&n
bsp; “Ready for a quick maiden voyage? We can come back later and pick up Cai and your mother for the real test flight.”
I looked around at the other two and said, “How can I turn down that offer? Cai might be bent out of shape a little, but hey, he’s off doing … whatever he’s doing.” I frowned. “What is he doing, I wonder?”
Georgia looked around and rolled her eyes. “He’s probably kissing your mom about now. I think the divorce has been final for a couple weeks. And I doubt he waited around long.”
“Ew! Cai and ... my mother?”
Bailey gave me her exasperated eyebrow look. “Can you be any more blind, Jane?”
I muttered, “Apparently I can be as blind as I need to be. I did not see this coming. I didn’t even know she was getting a divorce.”
Olive interjected, “If you guys are done talking about Cai’s love life, let’s get this show on the road.”
“Love life?? But he’s … he’s old!”
Georgia said, “He’s sexy. And your mother is just the right age for him. You’re not gonna mess up something for them, are you?”
I subsided into silence, still absorbing.
“Ok, that’s better. Just don’t seethe, it’s not a good look for you.”
I stuck my tongue out at her and said, “Olive, can we just … go?”
Olive laughed again. “Look outside.”
I looked outside. She’d pulled one over on me again, the sky was a deep back filled to the brim with stars.
“Wow, somehow it looks bigger from out here.”
She swung the ship and the earth came into view through the bay windows.
We all took a collective breath of awe, even Olive. Words failed me, and apparently all of us, since we just stood there, taking it in. The big blue marble, floating in a sea of black.
Olive looked at me, a little worried. “I’d planned on taking a pass over the moon, but are you okay with flying over it? Last time you were there it was a little traumatic.”
I thought about it. “I think so. It wasn’t the moon that caused my pain.”