by Michael Todd
“Where are your initials, HL? You have to be in here somewhere.”
Timothy pulled up the full roster of employees and went through one by one crossing off any low-levels without access, followed by those he already had a username for, and then flipped through and read upper management’s names and initials. His finger slid down the list and back up again, hovering over the name “Laurel Hoffling.” He didn’t recognize it, but he had a feeling about it. He clicked on Hoffling’s file and started scanning through the different documents that had been initialed by the person, and sure enough, old Laurel was initialing with HL. This made Timothy wonder if this person was even using their real name, but that wasn’t something he could see from his location.
Timothy leaned back and popped a Jolly Rancher in his mouth. “You, sir or madam, must be infected. You have no other reason to want to attack Katie or any other Damned, for that matter. God, I wish Stephanie were still here. She would tear you a new asshole, sew it back up, and then tear it again just for fun. I loved the way that woman worked. It was beautiful.”
Timothy tapped his pen on the desk as he stared at the file. He knew there was no way he was going to be able to take down an infected on his own, especially not knowing anything about the person. For all he knew it was Lucifer himself hiding behind a human name, bored enough that he started fucking with taxes. Timothy did refer to the IRS as one of Satan’s most prized creations. Either way, he was not in any position to roll up at the IRS building with guns blazing. This situation would need a more careful touch.
He picked up the phone and dialed the general.
“Timothy, my favorite hacker! What can I do for you now?”
“I’m sending you an encrypted email with the information on the person who is ordering the IRS attack on Katie. I compared their initials on the documents to the others in this person’s file, and they are exactly the same. I am assuming, since I have never heard of this person, that he or she is infected. I figured you might frown on Joshua and me turning up at the IRS with bazookas, so I thought I would call you first.”
The general chuckled. “That, son, is probably a very good idea. Thank you for thinking about that first. I’ll take care of the agent right away, and I’ll make sure to call you and let you know how it all turned out.”
“Thank you, General.”
“No, thank you. You have some serious skills in the hacking department, Timothy. Maybe when all this demon crap is over, you can come work with us.”
“No offense, but us real hackers tend to be against government interference.”
The general laughed. “I figured as much.”
Before Timothy got off the phone, he asked the general for a favor. He explained the entire thing to him and the general chuckled, agreeing on the spot. When Timothy hung up, he finally felt like he had accomplished something amazing. He had tracked down the IRS asshole, gotten a demon in trouble, possibly saved other mercs from the terror of tax audits, and seemed to have made it to the general’s good side. He tossed his pen on the desk and smiled, raising his arms behind his head.
“Good job, Timbro.”
Timbro?
Shut up. You never heard me say that.
His demon laughed. Anything you say...Timbro.
“Did you see the look on that guy’s face when you reached toward his chest? It was fucking priceless!” Calvin laughed, taking a sip of his drink.
“That might have been the first time in history that a drug lord shit his pants.” Katie snickered.
Calvin became serious for a moment. “Thanks for coming with me. I don’t know if I would have had the restraint not to blow his brains out right there. He might not have been the one who beat on Sofia, but he was just as determined to destroy her life.”
“No problem. We’re family, so whoever messes with you messes with me. Besides, I think he will have a worse time trying to run the family business without his demon than he would have going straight down to hell. If anything, we just extended his punishment.”
“Yeah, and with my luck, he would have come back as a demon trying to take over New York City like King Kong.”
Katie chuckled. “Or Godzilla.”
“With that kickass laser beam that he shot out of his mouth.”
“That would definitely leave a mess.”
Just then the plane’s phone rang, and Katie picked it up. “This is Katie.”
“Katie, it’s Brushwood. How did things go in Mexico?”
She laughed. “Yeah, it actually went well. No fatalities. The drug lord was infected and had been for a long time, so we pulled out the demon and left him there with no memories of what had happened.”
“You didn’t even fight a guard or two?”
“Nope. I guess we are getting pretty good with our stealth maneuvers.”
“Well, I’m glad. I don’t need another international incident to sneak out of by the skin of my teeth. So, what are you up to now?”
“We are headed back to New York. Calvin will probably go back to Vegas and figure out things for his lady, and I was planning on continuing the search for demons in the city.”
“I’m going to have to have you take a little detour.”
“To where?”
“France.”
“That’s quite a detour.” Katie chuckled.
“Yeah, well, we have a huge thing happening over there, and even though we sent a bunch of troops over, it was a tricky situation. While they were defending one area with hundreds of demons on the loose, the demons pulled a fast one and were able to take over the little island in the middle of Paris where Notre Dame is located.”
“Really? That’s crazy. How in the hell did they do that? I mean, Notre Dame is in the center of the city.”
They didn’t come in through the city, Pandora responded. I have been to Notre Dame, actually just shortly after it was completed. There are a bunch of caves and catacombs holding old bones that trail all beneath the cathedral and the city. High burial areas make it easier to portal, so they probably popped out there like ants in the tunnels.
Katie grimaced. “Shit.”
Calvin looked concerned. “What? Does Pandora know something?”
“Yeah. Apparently, there are tunnels and caves full of human remains that run beneath the cathedral, so that was a prime area to create portals.”
Brushwood sighed audibly. “Well, damn, I guess that makes sense with the cemeteries and the old burial grounds that they have popped up in over the past year or so. That’s not good. Do you know how many medieval spots across the world are built with that same thing in mind? I mean, hell—there is an entire Roman necropolis underneath Vatican City.”
“Yeah, that’s probably not good.”
“None of that matters right now, though. We have to focus on the current issue and spread out from there. I need you to go to Paris, get onto the Île, create a beachhead, and make your way in, taking out every demon in your path. Of course, I will want to save those who can be saved infected-wise, but your first priority is to get the Île back from the demons. We can’t have them spreading out from there, and the French are trying desperately not to destroy the cathedral.”
Humans and their attachments to inanimate objects. They’d rather live in hell on Earth then destroy a stone building. Blows my mind.
The general cleared his throat and clicked down the list of ammunition drops on his computer screen. “I’m already sending more ammunition and other expendables over there, so they should be in place by the time you arrive. I will continue those shipments until the situation has stabilized, so you shouldn’t run into a shortage while you are there. Still, I would suggest you take whatever weapons you are personally comfortable with.”
“You know us. We wouldn’t have it any other way.”
“So that’s a yes?”
Calvin nodded, having overheard the whole conversation. “That’s a yes, General. But before we spit on our hands and shake on it, I think that going to France i
s going to mean a higher rate for services.”
“Of course. The French can foot that bill. What are you thinking?”
“I was thinking a fifty percent increase.”
The general whistled. “That’s a lot for them to swallow since they don’t actually know what you can accomplish firsthand. I can probably get you a thirty percent increase, but no more.”
Katie cut in. “Fine. We can take that, but France had better not stiff me. I’ve got bills to pay.”
“We’ll pay you upfront, and they can reimburse us.” The general laughed.
“We’ll contact you when we have arrived,” Katie told him, and hung up.
They spent the rest of the flight preparing. First, Katie called Timothy and had him send her any intel he could find, including old blueprints of the cathedral and maps of the underground tunnels. From the intel they were also able to get a good idea of what types and levels of demons they were going to be fighting. Neither of them wanted to go in unprepared, and since they weren’t able to go home before departing, they needed to do it all in the air.
The plane headed across the country and touched down in Florida. They had a brief chance to stretch their legs before jumping back aboard to go over all the information Timothy had sent to them while the plane fueled up. These were major incursions, and Katie quickly worked out what the bastards were doing. The main offensives were diversions. While the bulk of the military dealt with those, hordes of demons were attacking smaller, less protected areas.
Every day I wonder how your species continued to live after the first man discovered fire. Pandora scoffed.
The general finished another email and ran a hand over his tired eyes. With the demon hunt going international pretty much overnight, he had to coordinate with people all over the world who were concerned that the fight was coming to them.
The general usually made an attempt put the others’ minds at ease, but he knew these other countries wouldn’t anticipate the number of attacks they’d be hit with in the future. There was no alliance, no separation of countries, or sovereignty to the demons. It was one planet, and they were more than motivated to take the whole thing as fast as they could.
The general had known for a while that it would only be a matter of time before they branched out, since the fights in the United States were really not getting them anywhere. They would come in, get beaten back, and either all die or retreat. They hadn’t won in any specific place in the US, and that had to be frustrating to the demons. They were used to ruling the roost, and humans were giving them a run for their money.
“General, you have a call on line one.”
“Thank you,” he told her, picking up the receiver. “General Brushwood.”
“Hey, General. It’s Katie again.”
The general raised an eyebrow, wondering what she could possibly want. He had just talked to her a couple of hours before, and there was no way she was anywhere even close to France at that point.
“What can I do for you?”
“Pandora has come up with her own negotiation for the French fight.”
“Okay, and that is?”
“She wants twelve dozen Krispy Kreme donuts waiting when we land to take on fuel. She feels the need to stock up before we go, since I just dragged her to Mexico where finding a donut was like finding Jimmy Hoffa.”
“You said twelve dozen?”
“Yes. That is her price for doing the job, and let’s face it, we can’t get through this without her.”
The general rubbed his face with his hands and leaned his head back against the chair. If ten years ago you would have told him he would be negotiating with a demon he would have told them to stick it up their ass, but now he was not only negotiating with a high-level allied demon, he was negotiating for donuts. He had never in his life had to set a payout for something in food.
He shook his head and let out a deep breath, knowing there was no arguing with Pandora. At least she wasn’t asking for the Double Hundred Dozen. That would have been a logistical nightmare. “All right, send me an email of your itinerary and I’ll do my best to get it to your next fueling point.”
“Perfect, and Pandora says it was nice doing business with you.”
“Yes, you too, Pandora.”
The general hung up and looked down at his map. An email popped up on his computer screen from Katie, giving their itinerary. He looked back down and quickly realized that her plane wouldn’t be fast enough to get them to France in time. He groaned and picked the phone back up to call Katie back.
“That was fast.” Katie laughed.
“I just realized that your plane isn’t fast enough to get you to France in time. I want you to stay put in Florida, which is where I am assuming you are. I will have a plane sent over for you, as well as those twelve boxes of donuts. We will keep your plane safe at that airport until you return, or we can have it sent back to Vegas.”
“I’ll instruct the pilot to head back to Vegas. You can get us home when we return.”
“Sounds good. Oh and any specific type of donuts?”
“Surprise her. She likes them all...unless they are made of potatoes. Then you might lose an eye.”
“Noted,” he replied. “Not that I blame her. Those things are disgusting.”
Katie chuckled. “She said finally, an ally against the potato hell.”
“If only that were our most pressing world matter right now.” The general laughed. “Hold tight, your planes will be there soon.”
“Copy that.”
The general scratched his head and started making phone calls to get what he needed sent to Florida as fast as he could. He made a point to let them know that the donuts were just as important as the plane. He knew full well that if they showed up empty-handed Pandora would refuse to leave, and he needed them in France ten hours ago. When he was done, he slammed his hand on the table and shook his head, laughing. He wasn’t laughing out of amusement, but out of sheer exhaustion and the fact that things were so damn strange in his life.
And he’d thought taking that position was a quiet road to retirement. Yeah, right.
Chapter Nineteen
Katie and Calvin unloaded their gear from the private jet, and Katie instructed the pilot to go back to Vegas. She let Timothy know the jet would be coming back without them on it, but to keep it fueled and ready in case they needed it for any specific reason. Timothy sounded almost bummed that they weren’t on their way back, which weirdly made Katie miss home. That was a pointless thought. They were sitting and waiting for fast planes and hot donuts.
After about two hours, two of the fastest planes in the military came screeching to a halt right outside the hangar. Two cars pulled up at the same time, and three people emerged carrying boxes of donuts. Katie looked at them and then back at the planes, wondering if the boxes were even going to fit in there with them. It only held a pilot and one other person, and she really didn’t want to ride all that way with donuts in her lap.
“Not a problem, ma’am,” one of the airmen told her, seeing her dismay. “There is a third plane for the donuts.”
Katie slowly looked at the third plane as it rolled to a stop next to the other two. She lifted an eyebrow and shook her head, laughing. She couldn’t believe the general had actually sent a third plane just to carry the donuts over to France. She had a feeling that out of the three of them, that was the most precious cargo to Pandora.
Damn straight it is, and the general is a smart man. He knew I wasn’t going to leave those donuts behind.
Your donuts just cost him about a hundred grand.
And they are worth every damn penny. And damn, look at those planes! So sleek, so smooth, and so fucking fast. I’m gonna have to hold on to your soul when we take off.
You better hold onto my stomach too. I don’t want to puke mid-flight.
I got you, which is why we are not indulging in any of those delicious confections before getting in the air.
Katie looked up
at one of the pilots and put her finger up to get his attention. “So, I’m just curious. I am freelance, but the general sent these planes here for us. I just want to make sure I’m not footing the bill for the fuel and cost of using the planes.”
“No, ma’am. You are officially a contractor for the United States military, and any costs for transportation ordered by the military are covered by the military.”
“Oh, good. Otherwise, I’m pretty much paying to fly back and forth to Paris.”
They strapped up Calvin and Katie, putting on their flight helmets and testing them out with their individual pilots. Katie climbed the ladder and shinnied into the back seat, looking around as the pilot climbed into the cockpit. They made sure Katie was tightly buckled in and then slowly lowered the glass dome down over them.
“Just to point out really fast.” The pilot‘s voice sounded crackly in her headset. “You see the red handle on the side of your chair?”
“Yes.”
“I have one too, and if I pull mine, it will eject both of us. But if mine malfunctions or half of the plane falls off, you pull that and hold on. It will eject the entire seat, and a parachute will immediately deploy.”
“Sounds good, Maverick.”
The pilot chuckled. “Now hold on. We are going to really get going here.”
Katie held on tightly as the plane started rolling down the runway. She closed her eyes and held onto the sides of the seat as it surged off the ground and shot forward, throwing Katie backward. She could barely move her mouth because they were moving forward so fast, and she could feel her stomach jumping up and down.