by Michael Todd
The general was taken aback by that. “A Leviathan? But I thought they were all sea creatures?”
Pandora shook her head. “That was Tiamat. Well, maybe Baylahn as well. But no, we demons tend to call the Seven Monsters of Time Leviathans because their ability to destroy is legendary. It’s not based on their size. They come in all sizes and shapes, just like you humans. Tiamat was one thing, but Juntto is something else.”
General Brushwood started writing the information down. “Okay, Juntto. Do you have any information on this character? What is he? What does he want?”
Pandora pointed her finger. “Yes, he’s a giant.”
The general huffed in frustration. “I thought you said they weren’t all large?”
“I did, but Juntto isn’t Tiamat-large. He’s just a few stories tall, I think. And he isn’t always large. He can shapeshift his body. He can change into just about anything he wants to, at least anything living. He isn’t originally from Earth, like Tiamat.”
The general stopped, slightly stumped. “So, wait, there are aliens? We have demons, and now we have aliens? Hell has aliens as allies?”
Pandora rolled her eyes. “General, what would you call me? Indigenous?”
General Brushwood face-palmed. “Right. You aren’t from Earth, are you?”
Pandora smirked. “Not even close. Anyway, his kind are about fighting, fucking, and food. The three premier Fs that your planet is always willing to provide. Pretty much in that order, too.”
The general cracked up. “Sounds like the rest of the men on this planet. Food is important, but not as important as the other two.”
“Yeah, except he’s extremely powerful. Don’t underestimate him because he can appear in human form. He can morph at any moment, and his strength is godlike.”
The general sighed. “Any idea what he is up to?”
“He will likely try to find a base of operations and then start building an army. He’s kind of obsessed with building himself an empire. He did all kinds of fucking with humanity a few millennia ago, then he just disappeared. We never had to mess with him.”
“Interesting,” the general mumbled.
“I suppose it is if you’re into that kind of thing. He’s like a bad Thor, only his fists are his hammers, his hair isn’t as nice, and he gives zero fucks,” Pandora replied.
The general looked up, thinking about superheroes. “Any idea what his weaknesses are? Every villain has a weakness, just like every superhero.”
Pandora leaned her head back and rubbed her eyes. “Women, for about ten seconds, and even then he might just kill them. I’m assuming that’s what happened to your hiker. She probably tried to fight him off, and he got tired of it. He’s like a big, scary Viking. He starts out as a Frost King and can withstand any temperature. Coming down the mountain barefoot and naked was probably like a spring afternoon stroll for the big guy. He didn’t even feel the wind against his frozen balls. Most likely, he put on the naked hikers’ clothes so he could blend into the town he entered. He’s resourceful, as are most of his kind. He is capable of adapting to any time and place pretty fast. It won’t be long until he is swiping right and left on a dating app.”
The general cursed. “So we have an alien who shapeshifts, is incredibly strong, and likes to kill, and he’s wandering around Europe right now. Oh, and he’s planning on building an empire. Did I get that all correct?”
Pandora gave him a thumbs-up. “Pretty much.”
The general put down his pen and scanned the information in front of him. “Am I looking at two separate problems here? I thought the demons wanted Earth. Now I have aliens with superpowers who want it too?”
“It’s all connected, General. Moloch is probably the one who roused him from whatever corner he’d slunk into. I know they have a history and aren’t exactly the best of friends. Juntto is good at building armies so Moloch will try to use him. They’ll probably figure either you’ll kill him after losing a whole shitload of your own men, or they will have to kill him in a hundred years or something. You aren’t thinking like a demon. We don’t think short-term, we think long-term. If your Earth politicians are thinking you’ll have this wrapped up by next year, they have a big turd of a surprise coming around the corner. The elections are going to suck for the incumbents.”
The general smiled. “Politicians have no concept of time. Half of them don’t even know how long the World Wars took. You mention a time period any longer than four years and their eyes haze over. Not in their term? Not their problem.”
“Humans are so small-minded sometimes. Unfortunately, this is everyone’s problem. The purpose of us going to hell is to see if we can take the pain to them. Otherwise, the attrition percentages aren’t going to stack up in humanity’s favor.”
The general closed his notes and leaned back, putting the pen in the corner of his mouth. “Okay, so tell me this. What happens if we kill a demon in hell?”
Pandora shrugged. “Not sure. Normally when you kill a demon, they’re tossed into the depths of hell, and it takes them a shit-ton of time to get back.”
The general snarled his lip. “I was hoping for something more like, ‘They die for all eternity.’ I don’t think we want to parade that information around. People are looking for a quick fix, and they tend to put things off if they don’t think it will personally affect them. Thus the whole global warming problem. The demons might win, but they’re going to inherit a bunch of shit, just like the president did.”
Pandora cackled. “Such is the circle of life. We all inherit some kind of past shit. Hell, I’m rolling around in this human-angel body fighting a war my predecessors started, and I didn’t even want to do anything but fuck, eat, and get away from my ex-husband.”
“Sounds like my ex-wife. I’m starting to think she was a demon, but then I remember that, no, she was just a bitch. She started out like a firecracker but became a mean old woman running around in short skirts, going on cougar cruises, and getting tattoos. The midlife crisis never left that one. Anyway, I would appreciate it if you kept that information about demon regeneration to you and Katie.”
Pandora giggled. “Yeah, no shit, General Holmes.”
The general snickered. “Thanks.”
Pandora yawned loudly. “No need to say thanks. Just bring me the donuts with sprinkles on them, and I’ll call it even.”
“I think I can handle that. Now, can I talk with the human hybrid? I have a couple of things to go over with her.”
Pandora put her hand to her forehead and saluted. “Sure thing, boss. I’ll just be here waiting for that donut guy.”
The general smiled, waiting for the changeover. He was glad that even in dire times like these, his colleagues and allies were still capable of making him laugh. Pandora might be a demon, but her spirit helped the general never give up.
Katie cleared her throat, coming back to the front. “I’m here, General. That was an interesting story about your ex-wife. She sounds like a winner.”
The general hunched his shoulders. “You heard that, did you? Well, not every woman can see the beauty before them. She was a wild thing from the beginning. Young love—it’ll kill you.”
Katie laughed. “I’ll remember that, although love is the last thing on my mind right now. I don’t really see the settling-down thing in my future.”
The general tilted his head, thinking about that for the first time. “Never say never, Katie. We don’t know where all this will lead us. How do you feel about your trip to hell?”
Even now, hearing that out loud made Katie cringe. “You mean my trip back to hell? I don’t know. I think it sounds easy from the outside. It sounds like a quick in and out, but if I know anything about this war, nothing is ever that quick. The demons are going to be highly defensive this time around. They saw the destruction we caused last time, and now they have Pandora and me on their radar. They will be keeping their eyes open to make sure we don’t come knocking on the door.”
The general was starting to
be concerned. “Do you have a contingency plan?”
Katie crowed. “Do I ever? It usually involves fighting like hell, breaking some necks, shooting some guns, and then getting the hell out of Dodge.”
“Will that work in this situation?”
Katie sat down. The bed squeaked like a metal mouse being squashed. “Sure. They fight there just like they do here. Poorly. But it will be their home turf. Even I struggle with the climate and atmosphere there, but that doesn’t mean I can’t fight. Hopefully, for everyone’s sake, before the demons even know we’re there.”
The general took a long pause and lowered his tone. “And what happens if they find you? Or if they accidentally stumble upon you? You’re going to be completely exposed. Not to mention the fact that you’re bringing enough equipment, armor, and men that you would be hard-pressed to find cover.”
Pandora laughed. I’ll tell you this much. If demons just happen upon us, they are going to be confused as fuck. Who comes to hell for a vacation? Timeshares don’t work down there. No one but the goths and freaks wants to rent them out.
Katie choked and covered her mouth. “According to Pandora, we would surprise the hell out of them. She says the real estate business in hell really isn’t booming, and the last attempt at pulling in tourists ended in a ball of fire.”
It’s hell. Everything ends in a ball of fire.
The alarm went off bright and early, but Katie opened her eyes feeling more refreshed than she ever had sleeping on her expensive mattress in New York City. She pulled her outfit on and brushed her hair back into a ponytail. Pandora yawned loudly. Where are my GD donuts!?
A knock sounded on the door. Ask, and I shall provide.
She opened the door to a tall soldier with a handsome smile. “Donuts, ma’am.”
Aw, the general sent breakfast and dessert. Come on in, soldier boy.
Katie cackled. The soldier stood there confused until Katie shut the door on him.
Chapter Eighteen
“If you look to the right, you can see where they’re finishing up the mounts for the .50 calibers. Those will have to be manned, but it’s a good line of defense. I’m thinking of some sort of armor for them. Make the shooter safe inside. Something like a tank.” Korbin was explaining to everyone what he’d been working on.
Timothy whistled. “Those are some mighty scary guns, sir.”
Korbin smiled. “That’s what the demons will say. The rest of everything out here Timothy can control from either the IT room or the security guard shack, or if it comes down to it, from devices inside of the armory. I wanted to make sure we were live in all areas. You never know where you’ll be when an attack happens.”
Stephanie rubbed Korbin’s back with her hand. “Good, now you can come inside and finish hanging shelves. Calvin didn’t get done. He had to jet out for his nice warm vacation in hell with Katie.”
Korbin grimaced. “I hate hanging shelves, but I’ll take that over a vacation in hell.”
Joshua smirked. “That doesn’t sound like the Korbin we used to know.”
Korbin patted his belly and put his arm around Stephanie. “I’m an old married man now. I like to garden, fish, and live in the country. My shows are a priority, that and fixin’ whatever the little lady needs.”
Timothy put his hands to his cheeks. “Aw, you guys are like Little House on the Prairie, only without all those kids. Good night, Pa. Good night, Mary Lou Retton.”
Korbin crinkled his forehead. “Mary Lou Retton was a gymnast in the eighties.”
Timothy waved his hands. “Oh yeah, the one with the haircut that made bus drivers famous all over the world. I love it. She was sassy.”
Korbin was about to respond when the roar of massive engines came over the hill. Everyone turned to watch as several big eighteen-wheelers pulling three M109A6 Paladins on trailers emerged. Korbin whistled loudly. “Well, that’s about four point eight million dollars of ‘Go back to hell’ coming in right there.”
He turned toward Joshua, who was eyeing the big guns. “Think you can whip up a few shells for those bad boys?”
Katie and Calvin were the first to arrive at the transfer chamber. Brock and his team members showed up shortly after and began checking their gear. Dr. Thorough and Alice were the last to arrive. The doctor mumbled something, and Alice wrote it all down furiously. The doctor stopped talking when he saw the grim faces of the soldiers. They resumed preparing in silence. The whole crew was oddly quiet. No one really knew what to expect. Twenty regular soldiers lined the outside of the chamber.
Doctor Thorough saw them and brightened. “Oh, fantastic. We’ll have backup?”
The tattooed soldier shook his head. “They’re staying here. Their mission is to keep whatever is on the other side of the portal out.”
The plan was simple, in theory. They would open a portal and enter hell. Any demons that crossed over and escaped into the chamber would be held at bay. Then the army would exit, and the chamber would be filled with silver gas to kill the escapees. There was also backup on the outside of the hangar, just in case something managed to survive the gas.
They had been through enough to know that you needed backup for your backup.
The doctor looked forlornly at the soldiers. “Backup for backup, but no backup for us?”
Tattoos grinned. “I’m your backup, and you’re mine. It’s going to be great.”
Doctor Thorough didn’t return his enthusiasm.
Katie rolled her shoulders and glanced at Calvin. “You ready for this whole thing?”
Calvin smiled big and cracked his knuckles. “Fuck yeah, I’m ready. I’ve been ready for years. I’ve been holding back on this one. I just wish this was our time to attack. I’m itching to show them who’s boss in their own territory.”
Katie giggled. “All right, black Rambo. Keep your head. We don’t want any unnecessary battles in here. Don’t go running into the inner circle and turning to ash. I can’t save you once you’re no longer in a body.”
“I can’t make any promises.” He chuckled, knowing he was going to play it safe.
Three extra six-wheeled units carrying tools and equipment were lined up behind them. Calvin was pushing one, Brock and his team the next, and Alice was in charge of the last one. They would hopefully get them into hell and back out without incident. The whole crew was equipped with state of the art fireproof suits and special gloves to touch the metal once it had absorbed the hellish heat. They all wore helmets with glass visors.
Brock looked at his suit and then at Katie. “Are you sure these wetsuits are going to keep us safe?”
Katie looked at the doctor, who nodded. “In theory, these suits should repel the heat for the amount of time we need to collect the data. I made them as thin as I could, without interrupting the flow of the suit. I knew you would need dexterity.”
Turner looked at the doctor. “Hold up, let’s rewind three spaces. Did you say, ‘In theory?’”
Alice rolled her eyes. “Yes, dumbass. We haven’t actually been to hell, remember?”
Turner wrinkled his nose. “Sheesh. Rude.”
“Sorry, I get sarcastic and snippy when I’m stressed. I’ll tone it back a notch,” Alice replied abashedly.
Katie clapped her hands and stepped forward. “Okay, guys. We’re going in, setting up defenses, and waiting for the tools to work. Let’s do this safe and fast so we can all get a beer afterward.”
Pandora cleared her throat dramatically. Let me just say one thing before we get to it. I suggest, no I adamantly request, that you steer clear of any angel antics while we’re in hell. Angels set off a whole mess of alarms in hell, and they’ll be on us faster than flies on shit. Keep it to yourself unless it is absolutely necessary. Even then, check with me first. No waves, just in and out.
Katie nodded astutely. Got it. Let’s get this show on the road before these guys start chickening out.
Pandora pushed herself forward. She focused and dug her fingers into empty air. As sh
e pulled her claws apart, they tore a wide gate open in the space in front of her. Everyone closed their eyes as a wall of hot air blew into the chamber. It was hotter than Katie remembered.
“Holy hell,” Tattoos muttered.
Turner’s eyes went huge. “Are those rivers of lava?”
The tattooed soldier checked his weapon nervously. “And volcanoes in the background, just rocking and rolling. I feel like I’m in Mordor.”
Katie waved her arm forward and led the crew into hell.
Brock kept a straight face as he stepped through the portal. “There can be only one.”
Pandora laughed. My precious.
Outside, the soldiers standing around the building put their arms up to block the heat. One terrified private couldn’t help himself. He lowered his arm and looked at the panoramic view of hell through the portal. Fear grabbed him, and he doubled over, vomiting. The rest of the guard stood perfectly still, watching as the team stepped through the gate onto the shimmering black rocks.
The carts bumped along the black rock, waves of heat rolling over their conductive surfaces.
Doctor Thorough suddenly stopped. “Here. Here’s good.”
Brock waved to his team and they fanned out, forming a perimeter around the three carts. Katie and Calvin took the front and the rear, their eyes peeled for trouble.
Alice shook her head. “This is going to be hell on my hair. This is a curly-haired girl’s fucking nightmare.”
The doctor pulled a cart to him and went straight to work, flipping switches and readying the equipment. “I don’t want to waste any time. Get every reading we can.”
Alice started turning devices on as well. “Join the military, see the world.”
Turner glanced at her. “Stressed?”
Alice just stared at the volcanoes in the distance. “You think? Let’s get this done and over with.”
Brock started helping wherever he could, standing next to Alice. “Is this going to be worth it?”