“Um…” I picked the first picture I saw. “A chicken sandwich is fine.” I pulled out my wallet and grimaced at the meager bills inside.
“That’s it?” Logan’s gaze drifted to my wallet. He stepped to the counter and pulled out his billfold before saying to the checkout girl, “Two chicken sandwiches, two large fries, and two strawberry milkshakes.”
“Logan, you don’t have to do that. I can pay for myself.”
He didn’t even glance at me when he pulled out a twenty.
A rush of gratitude ran through me when I stuffed my wallet back in my purse. Money was always tight for Cecile, Mike, and me. I snorted quietly. Too bad my dad didn’t understand that.
When our food was ready, Logan picked up the tray.
“Thank you,” I said, keeping my gaze down. “For buying me dinner.”
“Not a problem. Where do you want to sit?”
“By the window?”
We settled into a small booth overlooking the street. A few cars drove by, headlights on, as the sky darkened. My stomach growled when I picked up my sandwich, reminding me I really hadn’t eaten dinner.
Logan’s jaw worked rhythmically as he chewed a fry. Tense energy that hadn’t been there earlier surrounded him.
I ducked my head and slurped from the milkshake. A strawberry sucked into my mouth, the flavors coating my tongue. Logan continued to eat, his dark gaze fluttering across my face every now and then, but every time I tried to make eye contact, he would look away. For the life of me, I couldn’t decipher what he was thinking.
“Should we go?” I asked ten minutes later. Logan had just polished off his last fry so I picked up my milkshake. “I can drink this on the way back.”
Logan wiped his mouth on a napkin and took our tray to the garbage. Once we were outside, I sucked my milkshake self-consciously. That tension hadn’t left Logan’s shoulders, and he kept giving me sideways glances.
Our feet tapped on the pavement, and wind rustled through the boulevard’s trees. I was acutely aware of how closely he walked at my side. Since nighttime had fully set in, the traffic had died down, and nobody else strolled on the sidewalk. We had at least another three blocks before we reached the bus, and with the quietness that surrounded us, it felt as if only he and I existed in the tiny town.
“Do you want to talk about anything that happened at the diner?” Logan asked abruptly.
I nibbled my lip and finished my shake. When we crossed the street, I tossed it into the first trash bin I saw.
“You just looked so upset, and I, uh…” He raked a hand through his hair. “If you want to talk about it, I’m happy to listen.”
I peeked up at him, remembering our conversation on the hill overlooking the rest stop and how he’d listened then too. A breeze ruffled my hair, carrying with it faint scents from the fast food joint.
“I thought he’d be different,” I finally replied.
“Go on.”
My heart rate picked up. Nervously, I threaded my fingers through my long blond hair. All of a sudden, I felt unsure if I was still mad at Logan about the nap and dinner, or if in the grand scheme of life, none of that really mattered compared to repairing a relationship with the only blood family member I had left. So many things had happened since the morning and all at once. I groaned inwardly. I truly didn’t even know how I felt about anything anymore.
I sighed.
“Talking might help.” The storm still filled Logan’s eyes, but something else did, too—worry.
“Do you really want to hear about it?”
“Yeah. I do,” he replied quietly. “It was obvious your dad upset you, and I know that talking about stuff can help you.”
My breath stopped. In all of my twenty-one years, I’d never had someone to talk to about my dad. Since my mom refused to discuss him, and since Mike and Cecile didn’t feel it was their place to mention him, I was left with only my imagination to determine what he’d been like.
Once again, Logan was offering to fill a void in my life, just as he had done on the hill over looking the rest area. He was actually willing to be there for me to talk about the important things, the really important things, when no one else would.
Something inside me warmed and softened. My earlier anger over the nap and dinner suddenly seemed trivial.
“I just thought,” I finally said, “that he’d be more.” I slowed my pace, and Logan adjusted his stride to match mine. “When I was little, I imagined he might be a secret government spy who worked abroad and couldn’t come to me because it would put me in danger, or that he was a great explorer and had too many obligations to better humanity’s quest for knowledge, which kept him away.” The tightness in my chest returned. “They were childish fantasies. Things I made up so I wouldn’t feel like there was something wrong with me—that I wasn’t the reason he left—but as I got older, I knew none of those excuses could be true.”
A breeze whistled through the trees, fluttering my hair in front of my eyes. I pushed it back, my hands trembling.
Logan’s dark, steady gaze continued to bore into me. He nodded encouragingly.
After taking another deep breath, I said, “When I was a teenager, I thought maybe he’d married someone else and had other kids, and the reason he never found me was because his new wife didn’t want him living in the past, but I never pictured him living in a small town by himself with no children.”
Logan frowned. “I imagine most kids make up stories about parents that abandon them. It’s easier to believe something happened to that parent, something that didn’t allow the person to be a part of their child’s life, than to accept that the person abandoned them on purpose.”
My throat tightened. “Exactly. I’ve known for a long time that he chose to leave me. He’s not a secret government spy, and he’s not even married.” I shrugged, tears threatening to pool in my eyes. I hastily blinked them back. “But it sucks, you know? Even though I’ve spent my life traveling, I still saw other kids with their dads. Playing with them or teaching them how to ride their bikes.” I laughed, the sound slightly hysterical. “The ironic thing is that I don’t even know how to ride a bike. We could never afford one.”
A deep groove appeared between Logan’s eyes, that heavy scowl flashing across his face again. “He’s the one who lost out by leaving you. You’re a good person, Daria. I haven’t known you long, but I’ve seen enough to know that.”
My heart beat harder at his quiet admission. I hastily looked away. “Do you know I thought I’d recognize him if I ever saw him? Like, I’d feel something or just know that he was my dad? But nothing like that happened. If Cecile hadn’t pointed him out this afternoon, I wouldn’t have looked at him twice, and I know he said he couldn’t find me before despite trying, but … I don’t know. Surely, if he wanted to be in my life, he would have found a way.”
A faint glow rimmed Logan’s irises, but then he blinked and it was gone.
I frowned, once again wondering if I was seeing things.
“And how are you feeling about him now?” he asked.
Shaking myself, I replied, “I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t hurt. For the past few years, I haven’t thought about him much, and I thought I was over never having a dad, but then meeting him today…” I shook my head. “It’s all rushing back. I guess the little girl in me still hopes her dad will come home and sweep her off her feet one day. Maybe the reality isn’t quite what I imagined, but he does want to see me again.”
“Do you want him in your life?”
“I don’t know. A part of me does, but the other part of me still feels…” I scrunched my nose, trying to identify the feeling.
“Betrayed?”
“Yes,” I breathed. “That’s exactly how I feel.”
A lone car drove past on the quiet street, several people in the back seat laughing and talking through the open windows. I glanced toward them, grateful for the distraction. The intensity of our conversation threatened to clutter my thoughts,
and I was having a hard time remembering that Logan had a girlfriend.
I nodded toward the car. “Looks like someone’s having a good night.”
Logan abruptly stopped, just outside an old record shop. The vintage store looked original, as most of the shops in the town did, as though we’d stepped back into another era. He glanced at the retreating vehicle. “I think there’s a bar up the road. I saw it when we drove in.”
I wrapped my arms around myself, warding off the cooling temperature. Logan stepped closer, his heat drifting my way. My body hummed, desire fluttering in my belly.
Despite desperately trying to recall why I couldn’t let anything happen between us, I said, “Thank you. For listening again.”
Logan stuffed his hands into his pockets. “It’s fine. I like listening to you.”
He stood so close, closer than he ever had before. If I stepped forward just one small step, my breasts would brush against his chest.
My chin dropped, my breath coming faster. With him so near, his scent fluttered to me—sandalwood and forest. Crap, he smelled good. I closed my eyes.
Don’t do it, Dar. Don’t! He has a girlfriend. He’s your employee. He freakin’ slept beside you this afternoon and you barely know him. You’re playing with fire.
But Logan was the one to move. Not me. He took a step closer, and my boobs grazed his chest.
I stopped breathing and tilted my head up. A subtle glow lit his irises, and this time I felt certain I wasn’t imagining it, but before I could comment, his head dipped, his lids growing hooded.
His lips drifted closer to mine, his sweet breath beckoning me. I leaned forward, my lips only millimeters away from his. A low growl filled his chest, making my insides purr.
“Hey, lovebirds!” Another car whizzed past us, a crowd of drunken college kids in the back. One hung out the window and whistled a long catcall.
My eyes widened, and I jumped away from Logan. Mortification filled me. What the hell was I doing? Had I almost just kissed him? I ruffled a hand through my hair, nervous tingles shooting along my skin, making goose bumps erupt.
Logan grumbled something under his breath as the car sped away.
I cursed inwardly, my breath still coming so fast that a moment of dizziness washed through me. What was I doing? No, what were we doing?
I’d almost just kissed him, but it didn’t change things. Logan was with Crystal, and he was my employee. Nothing about this was okay.
Fuck me, and the horse I rode in on.
My stomach tightened as disgust with myself rose in my throat like thick bile. “We should head back.”
Logan’s jaw locked, his voice tight. “Yeah, of course.”
I turned and took off at a rapid walk. Logan followed. For a large man, his steps were surprisingly quiet, but I still sensed him. Hell, my body practically vibrated for him, as if every cell hummed and responded to his presence.
The distance to the bus passed in a tensed, awkward blur. I kept well away from Logan, even walked ahead of him a few times just so it would make talking awkward.
When we reached the bus, Jake and Brodie sat on the couch beside Alexander, who had his laptop open, his fingers flying across the keyboard. The three of them all wore tense expressions.
Cecile and Mike sat at the kitchen table playing a game of cards.
Brodie lifted his chin. “Glad you made it back.”
Jake merely cocked his head, his expression curious as he gazed at Logan and me, while Alexander continued tapping away.
“You didn’t want us to walk back with you?” Jake asked.
Logan’s fingers curled into his palms. “Something came up.”
He didn’t elaborate, but all three of his friends looked my way.
“Have there been any more emails from my stalker?” I asked, anything to change the subject as I dropped my purse by the door.
Alexander shook his head, his dark hair grazing the top of his glasses. “No. I’m sending a few more phishing emails, but if that doesn’t work, I’ll try something else.”
“Have you found anything else about him?” Logan asked.
Logan brushed past me, his entire body like a hot, stiff board. Maybe I was imagining things, but he seemed as shaken up by what had almost transpired between us as I was.
He settled down beside Alexander without looking at me again, but I still noticed his clenched jaw and felt the unspent energy rolling off him like a tightly coiled spring just waiting to launch.
I walked past all of them, my stomach fluttering for multiple reasons. Something was growing between Logan and me—that much was obvious—but it spelled bad news. The reality was that sooner or later, we would discover who my stalker was and deal with it, then Logan would be on his way, returning to his everyday life, a life that didn’t include me and most likely included Crystal.
Cecile’s expression grew more and more worried as I approached her. I could only imagine what I looked like. It had been a long freakin’ day.
“Did it go okay with your dad?” She stood from the table when I reached it, her frown growing.
“As well as it could, I guess. We didn’t talk long.” I bit my lip, remembering my dad’s advice to pay off my stalker. “I’m meeting him again in the morning before we go. Just one last time to say goodbye.”
Mike’s eyebrows rose in surprise. “Is that what you want?”
I shrugged. “Honestly, I’m not really sure what I want, but I’m open to seeing him again.”
Cecile squeezed my hand but let go just as the storage chest I buried my light in cracked open. With her touch gone, my light settled back down. “Whatever you want to do, honey. We’re behind you one hundred percent, but you know that.”
I smiled gratefully. “I know. Thank you.”
Mike pulled his Yankees cap off and set it on the table, clearing his throat. “We just want you to be happy, Dar.”
Cecile nodded. “But you look exhausted, honey. You should go on to bed.”
I nodded but my attention drifted back to Logan. He was deep in conversation with Alexander as both of them stared at the computer screen. I debated returning to the front of the bus, realizing I’d never told Logan my plans for the morning, but his frown stopped me. Whatever he and Alexander were discussing appeared intense. And honestly, the thought of interacting with him again made me so anxious that I wanted to throw up.
Besides, it was just my dad, and for once, I wanted to have a private conversation with him—a truly private conversation.
My forehead scrunched up as I remembered the dead pigeon. Is that really a good idea, Dar? Going completely alone?
But if I wanted to truly be alone with my dad, there was only one way to guarantee it. I’d have to sneak out in the morning to see him before we left and not let Logan know.
The only comfort I took was in the fact that the end of the month hadn’t arrived. According to my stalker, my deadline to pay him wasn’t until then, so supposedly, I didn’t have to actually worry about him hurting me for another week.
Still, I would need to be careful. If he’d found me at the rest stop, that meant he could possibly find me again.
A shiver ran through me, and I wondered if the risk was truly worth it, but then I pictured my dad, and the aching hope of finally having the father I’d always dreamed of welled up in me again.
I was willing to take that chance.
Chapter 16
Soft snores filled the bus when I woke the next morning, my vibrating alarm waking me from a tormented sleep. Dreams had plagued me all night. In a way, it felt as if I hadn’t slept at all.
The hour was early, just after five o’clock. Not even the sun had risen.
I pushed the covers back and hopped down silently from my bunk. People lay sleeping all around. I hurried to the bathroom, threw clothes on, and twirled my hair up into a ponytail.
When I emerged, my gaze drifted to Logan. He slept soundly, his chest rising and falling deeply with each breath. I wasn’t surpr
ised by his exhausted sleep. He and Alexander had been up late. I’d woken at two in the morning to see both of them still hovering around Alexander’s computer before I’d turned on my side and drifted back to another fitful rest.
I scurried to the front of the bus, my steps as quiet as a mouse’s. With any luck, I would be back before Logan woke which meant I wouldn’t have to deal with his wrath for sneaking out. I didn’t plan to spend more than half an hour at the coffee shop anyway since I had a show that afternoon which meant I needed to focus.
After stepping over Jake’s long legs, which sprawled into the aisle, I reached the front of the bus and exited as quietly as I could.
I surveyed the ground, half expecting another headless bird to greet me, but all that waited was clean pavement.
“Thank God,” I whispered, not realizing until that moment how worried I’d been about another unexpected “present” from my stalker.
Cool morning air washed across my cheeks outside. I continually looked over my shoulders, assessing for anybody lurking about or any parked cars with shadowed outlines in them.
But nobody was around. The quiet town continued to sleep, none the wiser that someone wanted me dead.
I took off, knowing the longer I lingered by the bus, the more likely it was my bodyguards would notice my absence. Walking toward the main street, I pulled out my phone and searched for a hired ride. According to my map app, only one coffee shop was by the interstate. It wouldn’t be hard to find.
A few minutes later, a car pulled up, and I hopped in with relief. I was officially around somebody in public.
“Where to?” the driver, a middle-aged man with a mustache, asked.
But then I eyed him warily, my relief vanishing. Who’s to say he wasn’t my stalker?
“Um … the coffee shop by the interstate. Do you know which one?”
He flashed me a tired grin in the rearview mirror. “Sure do. There’s only one.”
His smile looked genuine, and he pulled the car out, driving toward the interstate in the direction of the coffee house at a normal speed. My shoulders sagged. He’d probably been working through the night driving around those drunk college kids, and he was nothing more than a random hired driver.
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