by Nalini Singh
Bounding up to him the instant he appeared, she looked at him in wild welcome. And since Bastien had no resistance where Kirby was concerned, he stripped and shifted . . . to find himself pounced on, his mate in a playful mood that translated into her human form when they shifted back twenty minutes later.
Purring in his arms in bed, her skin flushed, Kirby kissed him with luscious slowness. "Why are we torturing ourselves again?"
"I have no fucking idea." His chest heaved up and down, his leopard's fur brushing against the inside of his skin.
Kirby ran her fingers over his kiss-wet lips. "I want you."
At that instant, he couldn't think of any rational reason not to take her, brand her. So when the comm panel chimed, he ignored it--until he realized it was his alpha's code. Groaning, he left the erotic warmth of Kirby's arms to answer the call, audio only.
What Lucas had to say changed the tenor of the entire night. "We've had word from a lynx pack in Calgary that's been searching for a small family unit that disappeared twenty-three years ago."
Kirby began to tremble, hope a tremulous whisper inside her.
Striding over to cradle her in his lap, Bastien asked the question she couldn't form. "What did they say?"
"One of their members decided on a largely solitary existence when he turned eighteen," Lucas replied. "He stayed in erratic touch with the pack--sometimes nothing more than a scribbled postcard after a year."
His lynx nature, Kirby understood, must've been very strong.
"A year and a half after they'd last heard from him," Lucas continued, "he contacted them to say he'd fallen for and mated with a human woman, had a baby girl, and intended to head home with his mate and cub in a month. No one ever arrived, and neither did the photos he'd promised of his new family."
Blood cold, Kirby found her voice. "Why was I . . ." She couldn't say it, couldn't ask why the pack hadn't come for her.
"They couldn't find you."
"What?" Bastien growled. "They lost a child?"
"The last message just said the family was on the road, roaming their way home." Lucas's voice held taut frustration. "It meant the pack had no idea where to look when Kirby and her parents didn't arrive. They dispatched trackers, sent out requests to countless local and international agencies, asking for news on a family composed of an adult male lynx, a human female, and a female lynx cub."
"But I never shifted." Kirby ran a shaking hand through her hair, her thoughts in splinters. "W-what happens now?"
"You look very much like the elder who contacted me," Lucas told her, "so there's not much doubt in my mind about the familial relationship. Still, I'd suggest a DNA test to confirm it, and quickly. Your grandma doesn't strike me as a patient lady. She's ready to claim her cub and your grandpa is willing to fight us all for you."
Kirby's lower lip quivered as Lucas signed off, her throat thick. "I have a grandma and a grandpa."
Bastien wrapped her in the solid safety of his arms. "Yeah, and they sound just as tough as their grandchild."
Kirby began to cry in earnest. She had a family, and they hadn't thrown her away. They wanted her, had searched for her all these years. It altered the foundations of her existence.
*
THE DNA test was done by Dorian's scientist mate, and a mere twenty-four hours following Lucas's call, Kirby walked into the living room of DarkRiver's healer. To come face-to-face with an older woman who had eyes of pale lynx-gold set in a face that echoed Kirby's as strongly as Bastien's echoed his brothers. She took one look at Kirby and enclosed her in an embrace so fierce, Kirby could barely breathe.
But it was all right, Kirby holding on just as hard. Then she was being hugged by a man of medium height with snow-white hair who had tears in his eyes and called her "my cub's cub," a hundred, a thousand words spoken over one another as they tried to catch up on a lifetime.
"My son," her grandmother said an hour later, the three of them walking alone in the woods behind the healer's home, "he was a strong, wild one, and he loved you." Her hands touched Kirby's cheeks. "Don't ever doubt that."
Throat scraped raw from the emotional storm that had passed, Kirby nodded, asked, "My mother's name, can you tell me?"
"No, kitten, I'm so sorry," her grandmother said, squeezing her hand. "The silly boy, he was so possessive--called her his mate in the message he sent." Old sorrow in her gaze, before the pale gold filled with determination. "But now that we have your name, we should be able to use it in concert with our son's to trace your mother."
It might take time, Kirby realized on a crashing wave of hope, but it was very, very doable. Kirby's birth must've been registered somewhere. Those records would exist. Even if not, there had to be travel records, or a rental agreement, a co-signed loan . . . Taking a shaky breath she hugged both her grandparents in turn. "Thank you for searching for me."
"We will always be there for you." Her grandfather held her close with one arm around her shoulders, while his mate stroked Kirby's hair back with gentle hands and said, "We have something for you."
It was a gift beyond price.
"A recording of my father's last message home," she said to Bastien that night. "Will you watch with me?" She couldn't imagine sharing this painful, beautiful instant with anyone but her green-eyed leopard, strong and protective and her rock.
"I'd be honored." Slotting in the data-crystal, he wrapped his arms around her from behind and they watched the comm screen fill with the image of a handsome blond man with unusual green and yellow-flecked hazel eyes that lit up when he spoke of his mate and child.
"I can't wait for you to meet my beautiful mate." His pride poured out of the screen. "She's small and human, but fierce as any lynx. And our cub? A gorgeous, wild thing." Love filled his expression. "You'd laugh to see me, Mom. I'm gaga over my girls, can't bear to be parted from them. We've explored the world together, but our baby will be shifting soon, and we want her to be able to play as a lynx with her cousins, grow up surrounded by pack like I did."
Pushing a hand through his hair, he pressed two fingers to his mouth, then onto the screen. "We're roaming the long way home, but we'll be there soon. Then you can tell me what a fool I was for thinking I'd never want to bond with anyone." Laughing, his self-deprecating smile contagious. "I love you both. See you in a month."
Kirby cried again in Bastien's arms, for all that had been lost, for the fact she'd never meet her mother and father, and for the joy of having found her grandparents, of knowing she had never been unwanted.
She was Kirby.
She was changeling.
She was a lynx.
She adored a certain possessive red-haired leopard.
She had family. She had friends. Her life was full to overflowing.
CHAPTER 11
The next two days were both strange and wonderful for Kirby. First came an envelope from Detective Shona Bay. In it was a note scrawled in blue ink:
Turns out I never returned your file to Records after the last time I checked it out. Bad behavior on my part, but it means it wasn't destroyed as per protocol. I'm glad I can give you this at least. I only wish I could've done more.
--Shona
Below the note was the original photograph found in the fire-ravaged home, of the man Kirby had already seen on the message, a tiny baby swaddled in a white blanket, and a woman with shiny light brown hair and an enormous smile, her eyes turned lovingly toward the child in her arms.
Joy blazed from the image, and it was enough to heal the last of the ragged wounds in Kirby's soul. "I have her face now," she whispered to Bastien, the two of them sitting on the edge of the aerie balcony, her wild lynx friend curled up by her side. "I can see with my own eyes that she loved me, that they both loved me. One day, I'll discover her name, but until then"--tears smeared her vision, turned her voice husky--"I'll just call her Mom."
Enfolding her in his arms, Bastien said, "I dared call Mom by her name once when I was a cub. It did not end well for young Bastien.
"
Kirby laughed, the sound wet. "I think my mom would've been the same. My dad, too." It felt good to say that, to acknowledge the two loving people who'd brought her into this life.
Her grandparents cried when she gave them a copy of the photograph, then asked her to stay with them in the guest aerie they'd been assigned on DarkRiver land. She hated being separated from Bastien--in this, she was her father's daughter, she thought, her throat thick--but hungry to get to know more about her family, she acquiesced.
However, when her grandmother asked her to come to Canada, join their pack, she didn't hesitate to shake her head. "I want to visit, meet my aunts, my cousins, spend more time with you, but my place is here." With Bastien, his name branded on her heart so deep, she knew nothing would ever erase it.
Mate. The lynx swiped a claw inside her mind, a little exasperated at the human half's thickheadedness. Mate!
Oh!
Champagne in her bloodstream, her joy effervescent, Kirby had to force herself to stay in place rather than running to pounce on Bastien. Enid had been explaining the more intimate facts of changeling life to her during their time together, things a parent would normally teach his or her growing cub. Kirby had been reticent with her questions at first, but Enid was so matter-of-fact about it, having already brought up a son, her daughter apt to be as curious when she grew older, that there was no awkwardness.
One of the things Enid had spoken to her about was the wonder of the soul-deep connection that was the mating bond. So Kirby understood the precious gift of it.
More, she felt the beauty of it deep within.
Once, she would've worried that Bastien hadn't initiated the bond because he wasn't sure he wanted her for life. To think that now would be an insult to her leopard, strong and loyal and so insanely protective that she knew they were going to butt heads about it on a regular basis. She couldn't wait.
"What?" Her grandmother scowled at her. "Your far-too-charming leopard refuses to relocate to our territory?"
Kirby knew full well her "far-too-charming leopard" would do anything to make her happy. She felt the same about him. And Bastien's bonds to his family, his pack, had grown over a lifetime, would hurt to rip out, while hers were just budding. Care for his heart was the most important, but not the only reason for her decision.
Closing her hand over her grandmother's, she said, "This land has become my home." An absolute truth. "I've made friends"--she stroked her fingers through the fur of the wild lynx who'd followed her to the guest aerie--"started to put down roots, been treated as a packmate."
It was her grandfather who placed his hand on her shoulder, squeezed. "I always knew my boy would sire a strong cub. Strong as another lynx I know."
Making a face, her grandmother patted Kirby's hand. "I'm proud of you for building a life for yourself, but I'm greedy to have you in mine, too." A kiss pressed to her forehead, the older woman's eyes narrowed as she said, "I expect you to visit several times a year. Bring your leopard so we can make sure he's treating you right."
In her grandmother's voice, Kirby heard the resonance of old pain, of the agony of waiting for a young family that had never arrived. "I will," she promised. "I'll comm call every few days, too, if you don't mind." Never would she take this gift for granted.
"Mind?" A blinding smile. "I'll look forward to each and every call."
The rest of her grandparents' visit passed by in a happy snapshot of talk and laughter, and yes, more than one teary moment. Returning to Bastien's aerie the afternoon the two left for Calgary, she decided to make dinner while waiting for him to get back from the city. Her skin was tight with anticipation, woman and lynx both in possessive agreement.
It was about damn time Bastien Michael Smith understood that his mate was no longer vulnerable or shocked or in any way unsteady. She'd made her decision and it was a decision that would never, ever change. He was hers and she was keeping him.
So engrossed was she in her plans that she almost missed the sound of feet hitting the balcony, as if someone had climbed overlimb from another tree. A second later, a stunning woman wearing jeans and a simple white T-shirt stood in the open doorway, her red hair pulled back into a high ponytail and her legs long.
Even if Kirby hadn't seen the photos scattered around the apartment and aerie, she'd have guessed the familial connection in a heartbeat. It wasn't just the hair, she thought, but something about the shape of their eyes, a way they had of holding themselves. "You must be Mercy." Hands a little clammy, she nonetheless smiled, recalling Bastien's words: Show no fear. "I'm Kirby. Come in."
"Thanks." Sauntering inside, her walk lazily feline, Mercy took in the meal in progress on the kitchen counter, her body so lithely muscled that her pregnancy--her multiple pregnancy, according to Bastien--wasn't obvious at first glance. "What's for dinner?"
Kirby bit the inside of her cheek and decided what the hell. "Fresh kitten cutlets. Want one?"
A hitch in Mercy's step, before she turned and saluted Kirby with two fingers, no hint of a smile on her face. "Touche."
Conscious she wasn't out of the woods, Kirby walked around to finish prepping the cutlets--a prosaic chicken--before washing her hands and putting on a pot of coffee. Mercy said nothing throughout, simply leaned up against a nearby wall, arms folded and eyes watchful. Her dominance was potent, the other woman a senior member of DarkRiver.
"So," Kirby said, unwilling to be intimidated, "pistols at dawn?"
Mercy's eyes gleamed. "Bastien tells me you're a kindergarten teacher."
"Yes." To her joy, she had a job to return to next week, the board having been sympathetic to her unique circumstances. "Maybe I'll teach your pupcubs one day." Bastien had laughingly explained that since no one knew if Mercy's babies would shift into wolf pups or leopard cubs, everyone had taken to calling them pupcubs.
"Maybe."
Yes, Mercy was a tough nut to crack, but Kirby wasn't about to give up, her lynx digging in its claws. "Cream? Sugar?"
"Both. Two sugars." A pause. "The pupcubs like sugar."
Kirby considered whether that tiny tidbit indicated a thaw in Mercy's mood, decided not to be too optimistic. "Here you go. Bastien's blend--much nicer than the instant stuff I used to drink until he spoiled me."
"Bastien does have good taste." Mercy unfolded her arms to accept the cup. "You like his city apartment?"
"Sure, it's stunning, but I love this aerie more." The sound of the tree leaves whispering in the wind, the wild lynx who often dropped by, the scents in the air, and most of all, Bastien's happiness here, it all mingled into a song of homecoming. "I do still have to use the rope ladder to get down," she admitted. "I don't quite trust myself to jump even in cat form."
"You'll get better." Mercy took a sip of the coffee. "Dorian said he spoke to you."
"Yes, he's been incredibly helpful. So has everyone else I've met from the pack."
"We're not always this welcoming with strangers--it's a good thing you knew Bastien beforehand."
Kirby decided to stop fencing. This was too important. "I adore him, Mercy," she said, holding the other woman's gaze even though her lynx knew she risked angering a far more dangerous predator. "I'd adore him if he didn't have a penny to his name or a pack to call his own, or if he lived in a tent." Her chest ached with the fury of her emotions, her breath catching. "He's smart and gorgeous and wonderful and overprotective and stubborn enough to drive me mad and I can't live without him!"
"If you think Bas is stubborn," Mercy drawled, "you haven't seen Grey in action." A slow smile so reminiscent of Bastien's that Kirby missed him unbearably. "You had me at the kitten cutlets."
Bursting out laughing, Kirby set aside her own coffee before she spilled it. "God, your stone face is legendary."
Mercy patted her cheek, her leopard's laughter in her eyes. "Welcome to the family, little sister."
*
BASTIEN didn't begrudge Kirby the time she was spending with her grandparents, but it had been fuckin
g hard to not have her close. He hadn't even bothered to attempt to deny himself the pleasure of watching over her from a distance the two nights she stayed at the guest aerie.
Yeah, he knew rationally that her grandparents weren't going to hurt her, but caught in the coils of the mating urge, he wasn't exactly thinking with clean logic. If Kirby decided to head to Canada to meet more of her father's pack, he'd damn well be going along. Forget about being civilized and understanding--he needed to be with his mate.
It had seemed like the right choice not to push her into intimacy at the start, but now he wished he'd used the passionate heat between them to tie Kirby to him on the physical level at least. What if she began to pull back now that she'd seen all the choices open to her? What if she decided she might prefer to explore her sensuality with a fellow lynx?
The agonizing jealousy inspired by the thought of anyone else touching Kirby, and fed by his raw need to claim her, tore through him as he arrived at the aerie--to find her waiting in lynx form, ready for a run.
Barely controlling his desire to lunge at her, he stripped and shifted. Kirby rubbed up against him, her fur thick and soft, the way she pretended to bite him affectionate. As if she could feel his feral tension, wanted to soothe him . . . as a mate might do. His leopard settling at the petting, though he remained on a brutal edge, he took her on a run to the lower Sierra.
There was no snow yet, but there would be soon enough. Built for that environment, her paws natural snowshoes, his lynx might just outpace him on it. He looked forward to the challenge, to playing with Kirby on her natural turf. Now, however, he was content simply to be with her under the starlit night, the moon a silver spotlight that caressed her fur like a lover.
Arriving home at the midnight hour, the world hushed around them, Bastien shifted back into his human form, while Kirby stayed lynx. She was having trouble getting used to the nudity most changelings grew up accepting as natural. "I could jump up to the aerie, throw down some clothes."
She nodded, tufted ears bobbing.
"Or," he drawled, his gut tight with a need only Kirby could fulfill, "I could stand right here and watch a pretty, sexy woman come out of the shift, then run my hands all over her bitable body."