by Eva Delaney
“What makes ye think that?” he said with faked offense.
I chuckled. “You keep looking at me wrong.”
“That’s because ye’re trouble.” He flashed that charming smirk that made my knees feel weak.
“Did they hurt you? The naval officers?”
He shrugged. “Everyone tries to, few succeed.”
He was so bad-ass. I smiled at him like a lovestruck teenager at a boy band. I was a grown woman who could shatter a town, but still my heart went all squish and my brain went all ‘he’s sooo cool, omg.’
“Time to fly,” Sammy said to me with a glint of mischief in his eyes. He let go of my hand and launched himself off the Ferris wheel.
My heart leaped into my throat.
Sammy laughed like a madman as he plummeted to his death.
“Glacadh,” I said and twitched my fingers. The magic rushed through my blood and into the world like a storm wind. With a whoosh, the air below Sammy thickened to slow his fall.
The magic rushed through me as though I were limitless, as though I were the wind and sky and earth itself. I leaped from the wheel, and with a muttered phrase and a twist of my wrist, the air itself congealed to slow my descent.
I landed in a crouch like a motherfucking hero. With a whoosh and a rush, the air flew away back to where it belonged.
“Woohooowhooohooo,” Sammy shouted, pumping a fist in the air. He grinned ear to ear and threw his arms around me, pulling me against his hard body. He planted his lips to mine, and I kissed him back fiercely until we broke apart to catch our breaths.
“I knew ye’d make me soar,” Sammy grinned with his eyes dancing.
“What if I hadn’t? Or you didn’t shift in time? You could have died.”
“Then I would have died laughing.” He kissed me again, this time quick because my chuckles broke it off.
I wrapped an arm around his waist and turned, leading him back toward the diner. “Come on, we have to get out of here before…” I didn’t finish that thought. If I said danger was on the way, Sammy would want to stay.
“Aye, quartermaster—”
“I’m the captain.”
“Like hell ye are.”
At the front of the diner, Oscar paced around Sapphire’s car. He raced up to us, and I dropped my arm from Sammy.
“Thank the gods of night and blood,” Oscar said. He opened his arms as though to hug me, had second thoughts, and dropped his hands to his side.
I opened my arms to hug him. He lifted his arms again and our wrists collided as he stepped toward me.
His hands fell limp to his sides as though he was giving up. “I thought something had happened. Some guy was laughing like a mad villain in a comic book movie.”
“I ain’t know what that means, but thank ye,” Sammy said.
I patted Oscar’s shoulder. I wanted to hug him, but we were having trouble with that. A shy smile crossed his lips.
“We’re okay. Let’s head out now.”
Sammy raced around the car and leaped into the passenger side where Oscar had been earlier. The vamp sighed, his shoulders drooping.
“Don’t worry, you get to be behind me,” I said. “I don’t mean…actually, I absolutely mean that in a sexual way.”
Oscar’s neck flushed, and he chuckled.
I climbed into the driver’s seat, and Oscar slipped into the back. Turning the key, I peeled away from Yes Now Bob. The car rocked along the broken pavement of the parking lot. People wandered around it with their eyes glued to the ground as they searched for more of Samuel’s booty.
As I pulled the car onto the road, I glanced in the rearview mirror and caught a flash of hair as yellow as noon sunlight.
I frowned and it was gone, lost among the crowd in the parking lot.
My hands tightened on the steering wheel. That might not be Alyssa. It could be anyone. But I pressed down harder on the gas anyway.
Chapter 17
“April?” Oscar said softly in the seat behind me. “Where are we going?”
Fuck. I’d stupidly promised him a good time until the spell wore off. Summoning these men was a dumb move.
I had been so careful not to make friends in Silver Springs. I was friendly to everyone but close to no one. It kept others safe. But I had relaxed after a few years of safety.
Sapphire kept showing up at The Magical Rooster and calling me at odd hours for favors and toys. Despite trying to push her away, she kept coming back until I realized she liked my sarcasm and rudeness. If I had tried to be kind to her, she would have run. I would have remained alone and she and Bob and the rest of the town would be safer.
And I wouldn’t have been complacent enough to summon hotties here when I knew Ram was closing in.
“We’re going on a trip.” I glanced in the rearview mirror to make sure my bag with the Scourge Stone butt plug was still on the backseat between Oscar and Shakes. Even thinking of it made me feel its pull. It was a demanding pulse, like a vibrator in your pocket.
I focused back on the road. Ahead, it dove into the deep forest that hid Silver Springs and many dark secrets. Such as that coven of woods witches I had almost cornered before they vanished. Damn druids.
“This is a trip,” I said in a fake happy voice. “Where do you want to go?”
“The ocean,” Sammy said. “The air lacks salt here. That be bad for the lungs.”
“Back to normal,” Oscar said sadly.
My heart dropped. “You will be by tomorrow this time. You’ll be a vampire ghost again and not a vampire dildo.”
“I mean I want things to be normal like before I…I died.”
I frowned and wished I had comforting words for him.
“That wasn’t supposed to happen. I was supposed to live forever…or at least a lot longer. It’s why I—” he stopped suddenly. Our eyes met in the mirror, and he shrugged with a smile that didn’t reach his eyes. “Became a vampire.”
He was definitely hiding something, but so I was I, so I let it go. I knew better than anyone that if someone didn’t want to share, it wasn’t my business. “We can’t go back to normal, but we can go to any physical place within a days’ driving distance.”
“Are you lying to us again?” Oscar said.
My hands tensed on the wheel. “No, we are going on a trip. See, we’re in the car, driving.”
“Are there writing utensils here?” Shakespeare said. “I have so many ideas!”
“My laptop is in the bag.” I flicked a finger to remove the ward that kept it locked against spies.
Shakes pulled it from my bag and balanced it on his lap. He tilted the screen back and traced a finger on the touchpad.
Huh, so he knew how to use a computer. Was it because he was lying about his identity or because he had watched others using them?
Sammy in the passenger seat pulled a takeout box from Bob’s bag and pried it open. He dug in with his fingers and shoveled a handful of pancakes, syrup, and whipped cream into his mouth.
“There should be forks in the bag,” I said. “Did you check?”
“I ain’t seen this kind of food before, but fuck if it ain’t as tasty as your slit looks,” he said to me.
My neck warmed, which was saying something. I ran a sex shop. I didn’t blush easily. It was actually pleasant to feel that little tremor of something dirty and taboo.
Oscar gasped softly.
“Have you heard of romance?” Shakes said.
“Ye mean singing like a flatulent asshole? Aye, I’ve heard of it.”
I covered a laugh with a cough so as not to hurt Shakes’ feelings.
Sammy scooped more sticky mess into his face.
“Did they have forks in 1756?” I asked.
“What am I, a duke?”
I chuckled and took one hand off the wheel to rummage around in the bag. Instead of cutlery, my fingers closed on a smooth rectangle, and I pulled a cell phone from the bag. I hit its home button. The screen showed a photo of Sapphire licking an ice c
ream cone. Another tap and the phone unlocked without a password.
Oh, Bob. You’re too kind for your own good. I’d have to mail the phone back to him in the next town.
“A Satan’s slave box,” Sammy exclaimed, and his hand shot out for my wrist.
I yanked it back and slipped the phone under my thigh on the far side from the pirate. “It’s not a slave box! Those are video recordings. No souls are inside the phone.”
“Prove it, if you’re such a clever alchemist.”
“Okay.” I grabbed the phone while keeping my eyes on the road. Sammy reached for it, but I tossed over my shoulder. “Oscar, catch!”
“Aaahhh,” he said. I guessed the phone had bopped his head.
“Record a video of Sammy to show him it doesn’t steal his soul.”
The pirate paled. “Don’t ye dare!”
I glanced in the mirror. Oscar leaned against the door so he was as far away from Sammy as he could get. He held the phone up, pointed at the pirate.
“Aaahhhh,” Sammy screamed.
“Aaahhhh,” Oscar screamed back. “Don’t scream like that.”
“Quiet or you’ll scare the car and it will throw us out,” I said.
Sammy turned to me. “Really?”
“Of course. It’s a mechanical horse, isn’t it?”
“There,” Oscar said. He tapped the phone and turned it around, showing Sammy the screen. It played back everything we said, including the screams.
Shakes flinched. “Thou soundeth like a cantankerous moldwarp being beaten in an alley.”
“You sound like you have experience in that.” I spared him a quick glance. He looked away.
Sammy’s gaze fixed on the phone as Oscar replayed the video. “See?” the vampire said. “You’re still here. Your soul wasn’t stolen.”
“Mayhap ye thieved a part of it!”
“Do you feel like you’re missing a piece of your spirit?” Oscar asked.
Sammy poked his chest, felt along his abs, grabbed his balls and adjusted them. I forced my gaze back to the road as it curved through the dark forest.
“Hmmm…” Sammy said. “How does the box work?”
I smiled. He was starting to adapt.
But by tomorrow night, he’d be back on a cliff with a bunch of men who would never believe what he’d tell them about the world.
“The phone records light, which is made up of tiny particles called photons,” Oscar explained.
“Light is dust?” Sammy snorted. “And ye think I be crazy.” He scooped some pancakes into his mouth. “If it be takin’ light, why is there still light? I ain’t made of light, but it copied me.”
That’s when I realized I had no idea how to explain how modern technology worked. But Oscar did.
“Light reflects off you. That’s how we see you and how the phone sees you.”
Sammy chewed silently as though thinking. Then his gaze slid sideways to me. “Is this like when ye said rubbish was booty?”
I laughed at my own prank.
“Or is he tellin’ the god’s truth?”
“It’s mean to mess with someone who doesn’t understand the world,” Oscar said behind me.
“Pfft and further pfft, ye bilge dog. I be understandin’ the world better than ye.” Sammy paused and turned to gaze out of the window sheepishly. “Only ye machines ain’t make sense yet,” he muttered.
“Why are you acting like that’s a secret? We know,” I said.
“Pfft,” he said.
“Pfft to you!” I said.
“I should pfft ye slit until ye scream like—”
“You when you see a camera.”
“If a camera be a fine wench riding me tallywhacker, then aye.”
“Can you both stop?” Oscar said. “This isn’t cute or hot or even friendly.”
“Pfft,” Sammy and I said at the same time.
We exchanged a glance. My eyebrows shot upward. He grinned.
“How can you call this flirting?” Oscar said. “You’re so mean to each other.”
“That’s what flirting is, being mean until the other person gets turned on,” I said dryly.
“I ain’t need to flirt,” Sammy said. “She was turned on the moment I arrived.”
“Yeah because your ass was stuck in the air like you were thirsty for pants custard,” I said.
Oscar sighed loudly.
“Here, this be making ye feel better.” Sammy handed the tote bag of food to Oscar—minus one container that Sammy held onto.
“Are there forks in there?” I asked, glancing in the mirror.
Oscar dug in the bag and held one up for me to see with a grin. He poked Shakes and offered it to him, but Willy shook his head. His gaze was fixed on the laptop. He squinted at the keyboard and tapped, squinted…tapped…looked around the board…tapped.
I had to find him a quill and paper. Maybe the next town or truck stop would have some.
Sammy rapped on the passenger side window, and I hit the button to open it all the way. He leaned back, mouth agape, and I laughed.
“Ye and your magic, Trouble Lass!” He stuck his head and shoulders out of the window. The wind whipped his dark hair back like a cape.
“Wooooooo,” he shouted. “This be like riding a storm gust before the rain hits. Wooooo!”
I laughed. The mad pirate was fun, at least.
“Juniper, can I ask you something?” Shakes said from the back seat.
“Depends on what you’re asking.”
“What is your real name? You told us it’s April June, but the woman who came to the door, the one who worried you, called you Juniper. People have called you April, June, and Juniper. You answer to all of them.”
The car fell silent except for Samuel yelling at the wind. “I gonna ride ye windy air like a fine wench. Wooooo.” He pulled himself further out the window so that he sat on the edge with his upper body outside. His palm pounded on the roof in excitement.
“Yeah, you never explained your name,” Oscar said so quietly I barely heard him over Sammy. “Did you lie about that too?”
I was about to lie again, but hesitated. They were stuck with me for the next day, and after that, they’d be gone. Safely away from the threats I posed.
But I imagined the look of horror and disgust on their faces if I told them who I was and what I used to do. Sammy thought everything was deviltry, but I had real evil in my past. Oscar judged me for lying, but he would shun me if he knew all my crimes. Shakes would want to know everything for a sitcom, but none of it was funny.
“Whatever it is, we’re here for you,” Shakes said.
If only that were true. But they were stuck in a dangerous situation, so they deserved to know at least some of the truth.
Not my part in it, though.
“My real name is Juniper Cockscomb. April June is a false identity to hide from a powerful witch named Ramrod Johnson. He’s trying to control all the magic in the world—or at least, as much of it as he can. He thinks no one can be trusted with power but him. He owned an object that he could use to steal magic from other witches and supes and lock their abilities away. I stole it from him.”
“Now he’s here for vengeance,” Oscar said.
“Vengeance? What?” Samuel said and climbed back into the car. “Are ye in trouble?”
“That’s obvious.”
“Aye, but I thought it be everyday trouble. An angry madam, a constable, a duke ye stole some pearl-handled spoons from—”
“That’s too specific to be made up,” Oscar said.
Sammy grinned his feral grin, then turned to me with a serious look. “But vengeance be serious trouble. Were ye caught in a longboat with an admiral’s daughter?”
“Yes, were you?”
“Aye, three different admirals with three different daughters, all very happy. The daughters, not the admirals. That be some real trouble. Did ye steal from the king of Spain?”
“All the time!”
“Juniper crossed a m
ost foul and ill-bred mage,” Shakes said.
I snorted. “Real ill-bred if he’s my brother.”
“Oh. Sorry, my love,” Shakes said awkwardly.
Sammy nodded. “Evil witch brother. I can handle that.”
“You really can’t.”
“Juniper,” Oscar said, using my real name for the first time. I liked the sound of it on his lips. “What happens if he or his people find us…you?”
“If Ram, Alyssa, and their people find me…” I shuddered. “There will be a vicious fight that I will lose. He will take the Scourge Stone and, combined with his other amulets, he will suck the magic from the world like a toothless person sucks pants custard from a tallywag.”
“Is this the same mage who owns the Spellbinder?” Shakes said.
I sighed. “Yeah.”
He nodded. “I know how to deal with goons like that. We’ll handle them if they find you.”
“You can’t and you won’t. I will stay away from them like I always do.”
“Why do you know how to handle criminals?” Oscar said to Shakes.
“I was one when I was a tender crack long ago.”
“Yeah, I got one of those earlier today,” I muttered to myself.
“What was that?” Oscar said.
“Her ass hurts,” Sammy said.
“Sammy’s taint is rashy,” I said back.
“Wait, wait, wait, don’t get distracted,” Oscar said. “What do you mean you were a criminal? I thought you were Shakespeare.”
“I am,” Shakes said angrily. “In my time, the theater was the center of unsavory dealings in London. Actors and playwrights worked on the south side of the Thames, beyond the reach of local law. When I first arrived, my pockets hung silent. I found employ as a strongman until I earned a small fortune and started producing plays.”
Oscar’s mouth dropped open. I laughed. So Shakes—if he was Shakes—was a seedy character like me. I met his soulful brown eyes in the mirror. He didn’t look like much of a strongman for a crime lord. He smiled at me, and I grinned back.
“I don’t like this,” Oscar muttered, and my grin fell away. Something turned over in my gut like a sickness.
“I don’t like this at all. You’re a thug! Juniper is a dark witch! He’s a fucking pirate.”