Pretend Daddy
Page 63
“Amber,” he started, rubbing at the back of his neck. “I wanted to apologize for last night. It wasn’t appropriate on my part. I shouldn’t have reached for the cupboard with you right there.”
I grimaced when hot coffee scorched the back of my throat. “Don’t worry about it, okay? Let’s just forget it happened.”
“Are you sure?”
“Positive,” I said. “I don’t want to make anything awkward between us while I’m here, you know? The kids are having so much fun together. I’ve never seen Ethan so energetic and happy.”
“Lily is enjoying the company, too,” Gage said. He turned the burner off on the stove, setting the frying pan in the sink. “It makes me wonder if I made the right decision in waiting to expand my family.”
“Things happen for a reason. You can’t linger on the past.”
I caught sight of the snow trickling down outside. There was something beautiful about the winters in the mountains. I couldn’t describe it, no matter how hard I tried to, when Scott asked me what the appeal was. “It’s fucking cold up there, Amber. What’s so special about winters in the mountains?”
Everything. Everything was special about the winters in the mountains. It was peaceful and quiet when your heart was turning from the chaos and stress of life.
I loathed the idea of returning back to Colorado Springs once my mother was back from Fashion Week in France. I didn’t want to face the cameras, or the constant presence of people in the house. I enjoyed the serenity in Gage’s home.
It was a few hours later that Lily noticed that the snow was sticky and heavy enough to build a snow man in the backyard. Side by side, Gage and I bundled the kids up to protect them from the snow before bundling ourselves up. We spent the next hour dodging snowballs and pushing around large balls of snow to create a snowman. I draped my scarf around the neck of the snowman as Lily and Ethan sang Frosty the Snowman.
I couldn’t remember the last time I ever felt so happy. It’d been at least three years. The only light in my life had been Ethan. That was it.
I watched as Gage picked up Ethan to place him on his shoulders as they ran away from Lily. She pelted them with snowballs, laughing happily as she did. The sight of Ethan’s grin warmed me from the inside out. He had followed me to Gage’s house without batting an eyelash, and now seeing him so trusting of Gage brought on a swell of emotions. Tears filled my eyes as I rose from my position on the back porch. Not willing to cry in front of Ethan or Lily, I walked around the house to regain my composure.
Why couldn’t it happen with Gage? He had always been the one thing that I’ve wanted since day one. I deserved it after all the shit that Scott put me through.
Maybe I didn’t, though. I had my choice to marry Scott, even though I knew the truth about him. I had pushed away all those doubts because I blindly believed that Scott would change for love. The cold air stung my cheeks as I walked down to the edge of the driveway to let the sobs pour out. I reached up to touch my cheeks through gasps of air. My tears were frozen to my cheeks. Not surprising with the cold air, but because all I ever did anymore was cry. I was sick of it, too.
I had worked hard for three years to try and create that picture-perfect family for Ethan. That was my punishment, knowing that I failed to give Ethan something that I had grown up with.
Snow trickled down from the thick clouds above. It was only a matter of time before I had to return back to reality. I had appointments to attend with the lawyers that my father hired to negotiate custody and my divorce. The thought of losing Ethan terrified me. The last thing I wanted was for Ethan to grow up believing it was okay to yell and hit others when he didn’t get his way.
I stayed down at the end of the driveway until I was frozen stiff. The tips of my toes were probably blue and purple from the cold by the time I rounded the corner of the house. Boots, covered in snow, were pushed off next to the sliding glass door to prevent a huge mess in the kitchen. I slipped out of my own boots, setting them next to Ethan’s before shaking out my heavy jacket. I draped it across the back of a dining room chair to head in the direction of the living room.
I found Gage sitting in front of the fireplace alone with an iPad in his hand. He looked up from the tablet when I entered. He took one look at the tears frozen on my cheeks and my bright red nose that was snotty from the cold, and tossed the iPad onto the couch.
For a wild moment, I thought he was going to kiss me. A part of me wished that he would, even welcomed it. Instead, Gage pulled me to stand in front of the fire to warm me. He rubbed at my cold hands, and the shock from the heat of his skin caused a groan to leave my lips. He bent down then to look me directly in the eye. I could feel his breath puffing against my lips, and the faint taste of cinnamon washed over me.
“Whatever you’re thinking in that head of yours,” he murmured softly. “Is absolutely wrong. You’re beautiful. You’re smart. You deserve to be happy with whatever you do in life. If anyone says differently to you, they can take it up with me personally.”
Those words caused my skin to goose bump for an entirely different reason. I gazed up at those icy blue eyes that were actually filled with warmth.
“You think I’m beautiful?” I asked.
“Absolutely,” he said. “I’d be an idiot to think otherwise.”
I swallowed thickly as a different type of heat came over me. “And you’re not an idiot. You’re a smart person.”
“And once again saying, you are very beautiful in my eyes.”
Chapter 11
Gage
I woke to the sound of Lily’s voice down the hallway after a sleepless night filled with painful coughing and a sore throat. Groaning, I wiped at my aching head with an aggravated hand.
“Damn it,” I muttered, pushing the blankets back. “I fucking hate colds. Why now?”
I took a hot shower to ease the tightness in my chest before dressing in a pair of jeans and a sweater. Rubbing at my throat, I walked down the hallway to the stairs to find where Lily was. To my surprise, she was sitting at the dining room table with Ethan going over her homework from the weekend. She appeared to be dressed and ready for school, too.
“Morning, Dad,” Lily said. “Are you feeling better?”
“Not really,” I replied, voice rough. “Are you ready to go here soon? I don’t want to be late. You have a math test this morning.”
“I know that. Amber is taking me to school.”
“What?” I asked.
“Yeah, Amber said she’d take me to school so you could get some sleep.” Lily lifted her math worksheet to show me the various equations there. “She’s been helping me study this morning, too.”
I glanced up at the clock above the doorway leading into the kitchen. It wasn’t even seven-thirty yet, but Amber had managed to get Lily out of her bed, dressed and cleaned up, and studying for her math test. I shook my head in amazement. That never happened on any given day of the week, it seemed like, when I was the one in charge.
“I hope you don’t mind,” Amber said from behind me. She emerged from the kitchen with Ethan on her hip and already bundled up for the trek out into the cold. “Lily mentioned that you weren’t feeling good, so I offered to take her to school this morning. I have errands to run anyway in town.”
“That’s fine,” I said. Inwardly, I let out a sigh of relief. My head and throat hurt horribly from the past two days of coughing. I could barely see straight enough from the pressure in my head, but it didn’t stop me from admiring the dark tight jeans she wore tucked in Ugg boots, along with a chunky gray sweater that was one size too big. She looked beautiful with her blonde hair tucked back underneath a cream-colored winter hat.
She set Ethan down in the chair next to Lily before turning to look at me with a frown. “You really aren’t feeling well, are you?”
“That’s an understatement,” I coughed out. “I don’t know who got me sick, but they should be killed.”
“It wasn’t me!” Lily exclaimed.
“It wasn’t anyone in this house,” Amber replied, and she brushed her cool fingers against my forehead. The touch sent a shockwave through my system. “Take some Tylenol for that fever. Don’t worry about the kids today. I’ve got them taken care of.”
“Thank you.”
I didn’t have the strength in me to argue. I took two Tylenol PM’s before collapsing on the living room couch. Sleep took me fast. I didn’t even hear Amber and the kids leave for the morning. I dreamed of Marcie leaning over me, brushing my hair back in the same gesture Amber had done.
I’m sorry, my love. Those words were on the tip of my tongue, but Marcie’s face drifted away when someone gently nudged me on the shoulder. I lifted my head groggily from the pillow to gaze up at the blurry figure sitting on the couch next to me.
“Marcie?” I called out, blindly reaching for her hand.
A hand clasped mine briefly before setting it back down on the blanket I was wrapped up in.
“It’s Amber. Have you taken anything other than Tylenol, Gage?”
It was a dream. I had dreamed of Marcie in the house. I rubbed at my eyes as a wave of emotions crashed over me. I didn’t want Amber to see the tears lingering in my eyes.
“No,” I said. “I just laid back down.”
“Your skin is scorching hot,” Amber said, concern thick in her voice. “I think your fever is making you a bit delirious. Let me get you something to eat before taking anymore medicine.”
I rolled onto my back when I felt her stand up from the couch. The sunlight streaming in through the living room windows was almost too bright. Chills wracked my body.
“What time is it?” I asked.
“It’s almost one o’clock in the afternoon,” Amber replied, her voice distant in the kitchen. “I just got Ethan down for a nap. I’ll make you some soup to eat with your medicine.”
I drifted back into a feverish haze while listening to Amber move about the kitchen. She returned a few minutes later with a small cup of chicken noodle soup and a few liquid Nyquil tablets.
“Here,” she said, handing the tablets over. “Take these. This should help with the cold. Make sure to eat some soup.”
I sipped at the soup while Amber took a seat on the coffee table across from me. She watched me with a concerned frown until I handed the empty cup back to her.
“Thank you,” I said and resisted the urge to reach out to touch her. My heart swelled with gratitude. “It’s nice having you here. I’d be relying on Aunt Ray in town to take Lily to school. You’re a much better nurse than her.”
The corner of Amber’s lips curved up at that. “I’m glad that I’m the better nurse, but you’ve been an easy patient. Get some sleep. I’ll make sure to get Lily home from school.”
The next few days passed by me in a surreal blur of cold medicine and endless sleep. I woke to bright afternoon light coming in through my bedroom window after what felt like an eternity of feeling like shit. The aches in my body were nearly gone, just a dull throbbing now. I felt lucid, despite not knowing what time it was, or even what day it was now.
I stared up at the ceiling in my room while I tried to gather my wits. The house was quiet. I didn’t pick up any sound of the kids playing down the hallway. The heater kicked on as I pushed back the sheets with a groan. My stomach grumbled hungrily as I padded across my bedroom to the door to the bathroom. Slipping out of my clothes, I stepped into the shower when I realized several things all at once. The shower was already on, steaming hot, and my bare hip bumped into what felt like warm and wet flesh.
I nearly slipped on the slick tiles when I whirled around to find Amber backing up against the tiles. Her eyes were wide with shock while her hands were frantically trying to cover herself up. Not before my eyes betrayed me, though, by taking in those perfect tits, smooth skin, and that delicate curve of her pelvis as it dipped down between her legs.
All the blood drained out of my body. Do it! Just do it! That dark part of me screamed to take advantage of the situation in front of me. But I forced myself out of the shower to grab a towel, slamming the shower door shut behind myself.
“I’m sorry,” I said, massaging my temples in aggravation. Why the fuck didn’t I see that the shower was on? I told her to use this bathroom. “I forget that you were using this bathroom. I’m not fully conscious of anything at the moment.”
“It’s fine,” Amber said, her voice tight with tension. “Do you mind?”
I grabbed the door quickly to leave the steamy bathroom to enter the privacy of my room. For good measure, I locked the bathroom from the inside before shutting the door. To give Amber privacy. To keep me away from the temptation of going straight back in there.
The slickness of her thighs burned the back of my mind. I could just imagine having those wrapped around my hips while backing Amber up into the shower stall to thrust my aching cock into her. I let the towel fall away to cool my heated body. I couldn’t do this, not to Amber. Not after everything she had been through over the past few years. Nothing could happen between us. Beau had entrusted me with Amber’s well-being, but I had waltzed into the bathroom with her naked in the shower.
I shook my head at myself as shame flooded me. My cock was hard when I thought of those taut pink nipples I had caught a brief glimpse of before Amber covered them with an arm. She was perfect. There was no denying that.
It took a long few minutes before I managed to calm my body back down. Amber had since turned the shower off and closed the bathroom door. I could hear her walking about in the guest room before her footsteps retreated down the hallway.
“Cold shower,” I told myself, gathering my clothes to go down to the guest bathroom. “Just take a cold shower, Gage. No heat.”
The cold spray didn’t even ease the tension. Frustrated, I dressed in the bathroom because I wasn’t going to slip there. I refused to pleasure myself to the thought of Amber in the shower. I wouldn’t stoop that low, getting off to the image of my best friend’s daughter. Even if she was an adult capable of making decisions for herself.
I found Amber stirring something in the crockpot when I entered the kitchen. She glanced over her shoulder at me. It was impossible to read the emotions in her eyes.
“I’m sorry,” I said. “I wasn’t thinking about it when I got in. Just a habit, you know?”
Amber placed the lid back down on the crockpot with an embarrassed laugh. “Why don’t we just forget it happened, okay?”
“Okay. I locked the bathroom door so it won’t happen.”
“That’s not necessary, Gage. You’re still getting over being sick. You’ve been in a coma pretty much all week. You didn’t know where your head was at.”
Oh, I knew where my head was at. It was still stuck in the past, stuck in that shower with a naked Amber in there. I couldn’t get rid of the image. It was burning brightly in my memories as I found my gaze floating over her now-clothed body.
“You should get Lily from school,” Amber said. “Ethan laid down for a late nap, and I don’t want to wake him up just yet. If you’re up to the drive—”
“I’m up for the drive,” I interrupted, glad to have some distance. I grabbed my wallet and car keys from the kitchen counter. “I’ll be back in a little bit.”
The windy mountains roads were slushy as I drove down to the city. I picked up Lily from inside the school, stopping to grab her a snack at the store before we went back up to the house. I found myself torn between wanting to go fast, to make sure that Amber hadn’t fled out of fright, and wanting to go slow to give her the chance to leave.
How would I explain it to Beau if she did leave?
I smoothed a hand through my hair at the question. I had no answer to it.
“Dad?”
“What?”
“You’re not listening,” Lily said impatiently. “The teacher gave me all my homework for next week. She said we’re going to get at least two feet of snow.”
“That’s a lot,” I remarked absently. “We
’ll make sure to get everything we need for the next week then.”
We spent the next two hours at Wal-Mart, getting supplies and groceries for the week. I welcomed Lily’s company because she could always snap me out of my thoughts and moods. My heart was pounding when I pulled up the driveway to find that the living room lights were still on. Smoke curled from the top of the chimney, and I could see Ethan bouncing around on the couch through the living room windows.
While Lily darted up the porch steps, I gathered the bags that I could carry into the house in one trip. I stopped in surprise when Amber came down, slipping into her snow coat. She smiled at me, despite the trace of unease in her eyes.