by Kata Čuić
“You could throw them in that trash can over there.” Jimmy gestures to the waste bin two feet away with a stage whisper. “That’ll really show me.”
“Jesus, Jimbo,” Jake scoffs. “This is so pathetic. It’s embarrassing to even watch.”
“Shut up.” Jimmy points at him. “I know what I’m doing.”
Nate slowly shakes his head. “I don’t think you do, man.”
“I think you’ve finally lost it,” Tim adds.
“I haven’t lost anything yet.” Jimmy turns to me. “So, what’s this new idea of yours? Giving us terrible ideas to campaign for?”
He’s still hoping for something that’s not going to happen. I can’t change Jimmy. I can change myself. He’ll get over it in a week. I’ve just got to make it through a single week. That’s all.
I release my nails from my thighs with another calming exhale. “No. Sit with us. We’re all going to actively come up with whole band-bonding ideas, then everyone gets to decide for themselves which they’ll campaign for.”
Ideally, I’d like to get started on the campaign trail, but we’re running out of time to even brainstorm. The first bandies are already arriving for practice.
“Hey, Jimbo!” The flute section leader waltzes in. “Can’t wait to see the prize you have for my section after practice!”
Jimmy gives her an early-bird special—one of his famous megawatt smiles. As soon as she’s out of sight in the instrument room, he turns to us with a panicked expression. “Shit!”
I wince.
He notices. “Sorry. Crap!”
I wince again.
“Fuck!”
He gives me a confused glance when I wince at that, too. “I don’t have a prize! With everything that happened over the weekend, I totally forgot!”
Tim leans back in his chair, crosses his arms over his chest, and shoots Jimmy a smug grin. “I know we agreed to not play dirty anymore, but does it count if one of us fucks up so bad that they kill their own chances? Because Jimbo has been an expert at that lately, and I’m here for it.”
Another brilliant idea blossoms in my brain. I’m on a roll today. And maybe, just maybe, if I play my cards right, this can also ease Jimmy through this transitional week. I haven’t really had enough time to dig my heels in, so this could benefit me, too. Kind of like hate and love being opposites, instead of trying to about-face and retreating from the war, I could do the opposite and … be his friend.
“Why don’t you take the whole section out to dinner after practice?” I suggest.
He looks at me like I’m nuts. “All twenty-three of them? Even if I could get a restaurant on campus to accommodate us at the last minute, I just paid my share of rent on the house. I can’t afford that.”
“It’s not about the place or the money,” I explain. “It’s about giving them something special. So, give them your time. Just take them to one of the dining halls. Some of the flutes might have already eaten dinner anyway. Maybe ask them to meet you for dessert. Ice cream is the way to a woman’s heart.”
Awareness washes over Jimmy’s face. “Oh, okay. I see what you’re doing here.”
“Great! I’m glad you like the idea.”
Awareness changes to smugness. “You know Lilah’s been after me since last year, so you wanna throw me into the lioness’s den.”
The flute section leader isn’t the only woman in band after Jimmy. I can’t keep up with all of them anymore. “If you want to date her, then that’s nice. A bonus prize, I guess.”
He nods. “So, you can be jealous.”
What? “Why, and how exactly, would I make myself jealous?”
He keeps nodding. “Because that’s what you do. That’s what I do. That’s how this works. It’s all part of the war.”
“Jimbo.” Jake shakes his head and mouths, No.
“You know what?” Jimmy reclaims the bouquet on the table. “I will definitely invite the section out for dessert and give Lilah these flowers. Done.”
“Great.” I’m a little worried I’ve broken him beyond repair.
We’ve battled so hard and for so long that maybe he can’t transition to anything else. A tiny part of my brain that’s still addicted to that old feeling whispers that it serves him right. He should have to suffer after what he did to me on that dance floor.
“We’re out of time.” Nate stands up and stretches. “We’ll have to table this discussion until after practice. Come back to the house with us after, Soph. We’ll order a pizza and brainstorm all night. As of tomorrow, we’ve only got four full days until game day.”
I stand up, too. It’s time to get to work. “I already paid for the hotel, so I don’t want to waste the money. Can we meet for breakfast tomorrow morning instead?”
“I’m not free tonight either.” Jimbo grins.
Jake rolls his eyes. “Just come home with us after practice. You don’t have to sleep there, and one of us can drive you back to the hotel when we’re finished coming up with ideas and planning.”
“I’d like to hit the ground running tomorrow morning instead of being more pressured with less time,” Tim agrees.
“Okay.” I can’t say no to Tim. He still looks like he’s already lost.
I guess I’m going back to the ITK house tonight.
Chapter Eighteen
A bottle of whiskey magically appears on the coffee table. Well, not exactly like magic. Shannon put it there with a smile.
“Is this an ITK thing? Are you all going to do shots instead of saying grace before we eat?”
“No, silly! It’s for you!”
I’m shaking my head before any words even fall from my lips. “No. Nuh-uh. No way. I’m never drinking again.”
She rolls her eyes. “You also said you were never eating again, but you’re eyeing that pizza like you haven’t been laid in a year, and it’s the biggest dick you’ve ever seen.”
Jake spits out his mouthful of soda all over the place.
My cheeks flame. I can’t believe my best friend just said that. In a room full of other guys who probably have not gone a full year without being laid. And I absolutely one hundred percent refuse to count that dance-floor orgasm.
“It’s creative juice,” Shannon explains.
Jake chokes on air.
“Not that way, you perv,” she scolds him.
“I am absolutely taking it that way,” he says excitedly. “You will graduate magna cum laude if I have any say about it.”
Nate rubs his forehead. “I’m moving out. I can’t take a whole year of this.”
“Get over it.” Shannon rolls her eyes again, but her cheeks pink slightly. She’s probably remembering the embarrassment of Jimbo being able to hear her coming loud. “When I get stuck on a creative writing assignment, sometimes, a few drinks loosen up my brain enough to think outside the box and get it done. And you enjoyed the drink you had Saturday night. In fact, before all hell broke loose, you said you were having fun. I just thought, you know, you should still get to have that in a safe environment. It’s a brand-new bottle, the seal is still intact, and I would hope you trust me enough to let loose a little if you want to.”
“I don’t know, Shan …”
“If you want to have a drink, we promise nothing bad will happen to you,” Nate agrees.
“And if you want to stay, you’re always welcome here,” Jake adds. “If you want to go back to the hotel, one of us will take you. No matter what, nothing except all the fun you wanted to have on Saturday will happen tonight.”
It’s a tempting offer. This is much more casual than an actual ITK party. Shannon won’t let anyone spike my drink, and I deserve a little fun after what I’ve been through.
“Okay. Get me drunk. But not too drunk. We still have class and practice tomorrow.”
Tim rubs his hands together. “Excellent! And we have work to do!”
Three red Solo cups of whiskey and cola, two hours of brainstorming, and countless throwaway ideas later, and I am druuuuuuuu
uunk.
I’m also in good company.
“So, so, so …” Tim can barely talk from laughing so hard. “That’s it! That’s the winning ticket! I’m gonna create a band dating app, and not only am I going to be elected head drum major, but I’m also gonna make a killing when I expand it to college bands all over the country.”
I can’t tell if he’s serious. I also can’t decide if it’s brilliant or the worst idea I’ve ever heard.
“I still think I’m gonna be the one doing the backbend at halftime.” Nate grins. “None of your ideas even come close to mine.”
Jake shakes his head. “Dude. Bandsgiving is a terrible idea. Half the bandies don’t even have kitchens to cook, and you just picked a random date during the season. It’s never gonna become a tradition.”
“We’ll see.” Nate tips his cup, seeming totally confident. That could be the whiskey talking though.
Shannon rubs Jake’s arm. “Babe, are you sure about this?”
“Yup.” Jake nods his head a little too animatedly. “I’m totally cool with bowing out. Every time I think about doing that backbend in front of a packed stadium, all I can think about is my pants ripping and my dick flopping out in front of thousands of people. I didn’t really want it anyway.”
“Then, why did you audition in the first place?” I ask.
“Why don’t you wear underwear beneath your uniform?” Nate frowns into his empty cup.
“I do wear underwear. It’s just a weird, recurring nightmare I’ve been having since last spring, and,” he tips his cup in Shannon’s direction, “to impress this certain girl I know.”
“Woman,” Shannon mutters before reaching up to kiss his cheek. “Color me impressed.”
He winks at her. They look so comfortable, snuggled up together with Shannon tucked into his side, and Jake’s arm framing her shoulders. There’s nothing fake or awkward about their closeness.
It’s the exact opposite of what Jimmy and I probably looked like when we almost kissed.
I just don’t understand how they went from friends to a solid relationship in such a short amount of time. I swing my finger between the two of them. “How long has this little song and dance been going on behind my back?”
Shannon isn’t drunk enough not to appear a little ashamed. “Almost two years.”
“And you never told me about it because …”
“Because … it was like you said—a song and dance. Harmless flirting here and there when we were between other relationships. I didn’t think anything would ever actually happen.”
Jake doesn’t look the least bit offended by her admission. “It just felt like the stars aligned or some shit. The timing was finally right, so I went for it, and here we are.”
“Here we are.” She rests her head on his shoulder.
They make it sound so easy. And a little boring, if I’m being honest.
“What about you?” Tim nudges me.
“What about me? I haven’t been singing and dancing with anyone.”
Shannon snickers. I shoot her the sort of murderous glare I used to reserve for Jimmy. She shuts up.
Tim volleys his gaze between us but gives up trying to decode our silent exchange. “I meant, what are you going to campaign for? You still haven’t decided.”
“I don’t know!” I whine and drop my face to my waiting palm pillows. I drank more than I’d intended. I’m exhausted and generally not feeling like myself. Tonight has definitely been fun, but something’s missing. I pop my head up. “You know what? I’m putting my fate in your hands.”
The front door opens.
“You guys vote it out. Choose for me.”
Jimmy leans against the doorframe, shaking his head, a wicked gleam in his eyes.
Everyone watches in silence as he sort of stumbles around the coffee table littered with empty pizza boxes, two nearly empty whiskey bottles, and random scraps of paper scribbled with ideas. He collapses onto the couch beside me with such force that I bounce with his impact.
He does that stupid clucking sound he loves to make. “Oh, Sophie. I knew you couldn’t walk away. What are we voting on now?”
Everyone else in the room is shaking their heads. Either they don’t like his implication, or they think I shouldn’t tell him. Not sure.
Jake clears his throat. Loudly until he gets Jimmy’s attention. “Buddy, you’re drunk. So, I’m going to make this as easy as possible for you. Don’t. Whatever you are planning, just don’t.”
I sigh and don’t even try to hide it. So, he’s still planning. That’s fine.
He leans his full body weight on me, which causes me to lean into Tim who only chuckles and throws back the rest of his drink.
“Aren’t you going to ask where I’ve been? And why I reek of tequila?”
Nope. Not going to ask. Not going to ask either of those questions. “Shouldn’t you smell like perfume?”
His eyes light up, and a smile creeps across his lips.
Damn. I should have said nothing at all. I guess I can empathize with how poorly he’s been taking the cease-fire. Old habits are hard to break for me, too.
He sits up and stretches his arms on the back of the couch, catching my ponytail and dragging it with his movement.
“Ow, Jimmy! Stop!”
At least he winces, so I know he didn’t do it on purpose. He also brings his arms back to his lap. “Sorry, Soph. Sorry.”
We stare at him in silence for a few minutes as he blankly stares back at us.
“Well?” Shannon prompts with an uncharacteristic sneer.
“Well, what?” Jimmy asks, not catching the undertone.
Nate leans his head back on the couch and closes his eyes. “I can’t believe I’m saying this, but you were about to tell us where you’ve been.”
“Oh!” Jimmy perks up and leans forward. “While you’ve been hashing out ideas, which are going to go over about as well as the stupid drum major competitions, I’ve been out mingling with the voters and securing their ballots right under your noses!”
Nate perks up, too. “What is that supposed to mean?”
Jimmy’s practically bouncing beside me in excitement. “It means, after I was finished with the flute section, I texted the drumline and asked if they wanted to meet up. It was a success, but remind me I can never go shot for shot against them with tequila ever again. I feel like I’m gonna puke my skull up.”
I scoot even closer to Tim.
Shannon raises her eyebrow. “What does that mean, finished with the flute section?”
Jake elbows her.
She squeaks, “Ow! What? I wanna know!”
Jake turns his attention back to Jimmy, shaking his head with wide eyes.
Well, his reaction has my attention. I want to know now, too.
“They were just happy to have my time. I let them talk my ears off, paid for their ice cream sundaes, and got some pretty good feedback. I think.” He scrunches his nose like he’s really not convinced about that last part.
Jake’s brows flatten. “You sucked them into this soap opera, didn’t you?”
“Fuck, yeah, I did!” Jimmy’s so proud of himself. He turns to me. “How do ya like that, Sophie? What’s your answer to that, Sophie?”
He’s so weird. I’ve only been around drunk Jimmy a few times, and … yeah, it’s just bizarre. “Good for you.”
Disappointment actually courses through him. Like, visibly. “That’s it? That’s all you have to say? Good for me?”
“I’m not competing with you anymore, Jimmy.”
He narrows his eyes. “The hell you aren’t. What’s this vote I walked in on? Out with it. And stop calling me Jimmy. It’s getting on my last fucking nerve.” His expression changes. It’s sort of in slow motion and very melodramatic. Drunk Jimmy is a great actor actually. “Oh, I see what you’re doing here. You’re throwing me off my game on purpose. It’s so subtle and so insidious. Honestly, some of your best work. Okay. All right. I’m down with it.” He st
retches his arms against the couch again, his body finally relaxing. And this time, he doesn’t also pull my hair. “I would like to be included in this vote. Please, and thank you.”
My face twists into such an obvious display of confusion and disgust that I’m glad there aren’t any mirrors around right now for me to see how bad it must look.
Jimmy thinks it’s hilarious. He throws his head back and laughs then reaches down to pat my knee. “Vote now, darling.”
My face is going to get stuck if I keep reflexively making these faces of horror. I have to physically shake myself out of it. “Okay, raise your hands for the Sing Out fundraiser.”
Shannon’s hand immediately shoots in the air.
“Uh, no.” Jimmy shakes his head. “I’m going to need more explanation than that before I can make an informed decision.”
“Fine.” I sigh. I’m still buzzed enough not to be able to control my knee-jerk reactions to him but also sober enough to keep my mind from wandering to my murder-plan files. “Sing Out is a nationwide charity that was originally founded on the State campus. It—”
He cuts me off with a slice of his hand through the air. “I know what it is. My brother was one of the founding members. He still does workshops at high schools and colleges when he has free time in his schedule.”
I can’t resist rolling my eyes. “Good for Alex. So, since their motto is using the language of music to heal and to bridge the gap between survivors of sexual assault and potential allies, I figured it just makes sense if the band does a big fundraiser once a year to benefit the foundation. Sort of like how the Greeks do the Dance Off for children’s cancer research. Only because Sing Out started here, it will have more meaning to all the students at State. We can canvass for donations on and off campus and hold some kind of all-night event as the main focus of our fundraising efforts, and hopefully, it’ll catch on with other bands at the national level, like the Dance Off has.”
He raises an unimpressed eyebrow. “Some kind of all-night event? Like, we pack everyone into the band room and take turns playing our instruments for them? No one’s gonna show up for that.”