MAMU: Ansu, forgive me. You must not leave me, please!
ANSUYA: Why are you doing this, Mamu?
MAMU: Ansu …
ANSUYA: (Screaming.) No, Mamu, no!
MAMU: I … I … can’t live without you.
ANSUYA: Stop it, Mamu.
MAMU: Ansuya!
ANSUYA: (Outburst.) No! I’m Deepak’s!
(Sudden silence. Ansuya begins to cry.)
CHITRA: Deepak’s?
ANSUYA: You made me say it, Mamu. I love Deepak.
CHITRA: Yeh kya ho raha hai?
DEEPAK: I’ll explain, Ma. Later.
ANSUYA: I’m sorry, Deepak. I had to say it.
MAMU: It’s because he’s young.
ANSUYA: Mamu!
RAI SAHEB: Filthy, I say. Abusing his own sister’s trust.
MAMU: (Wailing.) No, no! Oh God! Not that! I never …
AMRITA: (In a strange, high-pitched voice.) I want everyone to be quiet. Please. This is my house, my brother and my daughter. I will speak. You fine people, what are you trying to do? We have lost everything. Why are you trying to destroy my family? It’s all that I have left. We’ve lost the way we lived. But there was a time … oh yes, there was a time. But it is gone now. All we have left is ourselves, the three of us. Why must you judge us? We have suffered, and we drew close to each other in our suffering. You are trying to take even that away …
(Pause.)
Yes Chitra, the chandeliers, the paintings are gone. For you, they were things—things to be bought and sold for money. But for us, they were our life and the way we lived. We were happy once upon a time, and we didn’t ask for any more.
(Pause.)
You Bunty, you have shattered everything. Yes, behind your laughter, respectability and pretence, I suddenly see you as you really are. And I do not like what I see! I thought you were a friend.
(Pause.)
I feel lost. I feel I am breaking bit by bit. But don’t worry for me: I shall do what is right. I am tired now. No more games, please. I want everyone to leave. I wish to be alone with my family.
(Exit Rai Saheb, Chitra and Deepak.)
Why did you have to spoil it all, Karan? You have to leave now. You cannot live in this house any longer.
ANSUYA: (Going to her.) Amma …
AMRITA: Help me to my room, Ansu.
ANSUYA: Come, Amma, come.
(Ansuya takes her mother inside. Fade.)
Act Four
[Stage Centre. Opens on Karan, the narrator.]
KARAN: It’s a dangerous game these girls play in boarding school. The next time you have company, I wouldn’t play this game, if I were you. I know, games are a good way to get people off our hands—especially people to whom we have nothing to say. Sometimes, even ourselves. But, do you see the perils of playing games with people? All of us take pride in being practical, realistic people. As realists we have our feet planted solidly on the ground and we plod along, fulfilling our duties, busy with our daily routine. And, at the end of the day, what have we lost? We have lost the essence of life itself. That is why Ansuya was such an unusual girl. She was willing to take risks with herself: with her emotions, with her life. She wanted something out of the ordinary, something different—and she wanted love, in all its lurid splendour and terrible proportions. And Deepak? Well, it’s not as if he did not love Ansuya; he did, in his own way. But his vision of himself was cradled by that apocalyptic mother-figure, Chitra. I suppose we all want love, like Ansuya. We all want romance to touch our lives at least once in our lifetime. Because, love is, among other things, the best way to escape the primal loneliness we were born to suffer. It is the one thing that makes our strange situation in the world acceptable. Yet, we don’t want too much of it, lest it becomes a necessity, like alcohol. And, where there is love, there is pain, a mighty pain. For love isn’t love, unless it is vulnerable. And its loss is a terrible thing. Those who say that death is worse, just don’t know.
Mamu found that out as he left the house the next morning. He wished he could die, and the almost intolerable torment was that he did not.
(Picks up the newspaper.)
Meanwhile, as the Chinese were digging in for a thrust at Se La and Bomdilla, we are pointing fingers at each other. General Kaul and General Thapar didn’t see eye to eye on strategy. Krishna Menon was not sure that we needed American aid. Do you know something? Some of us talk too much and act too little. It is the afternoon of the next day. A bright, fresh, sunny afternoon. The house is still, taut with tension
(Sniffs again, taking short breaths.)
From the aroma in the kitchen it appears that it is almost tea-time. It’s so quiet that you can hear yourself breathing. Wait, someone is talking in the drawing room.
(As the lights come on.)
It is Deepak and Ansuya.
(Fade on Karan. Exit.)
ANSUYA: (Withdrawn, distracted.) … I took Amma to her room and then I must have dozed off in the chair beside her. I was half asleep and then I was dreaming … I can’t be sure, but it was a bad dream. Mamu kept calling me. I was at the bank and he was in the lake, or was it a river? He kept calling me to save him.
(She begins to cry.)
He was drowning and I couldn’t reach him. Oh, it was horrible. He kept calling me.
DEEPAK: (Soothingly.) It was only a dream.
ANSUYA: You know dreams; things get mixed up. I took off my clothes and I jumped into the water. It was cold. The wind was blowing. The blanket kept slipping off.
DEEPAK: Was there anyone else in your dream?
ANSUYA: Yes.
DEEPAK: Who?
ANSUYA: I don’t know. I don’t remember, but I was scared.
DEEPAK: There was no one there.
ANSUYA: There was. I was naked and I didn’t want anyone to see me. The blanket kept slipping.
DEEPAK: (Changing the subject.) How are the others?
ANSUYA: Amma has been alone in her room all day. Mamu was up all night and, early this morning, he quietly left for the station. I’m afraid for him. My poor, dear Mamu.
DEEPAK: What time did his train leave?
ANSUYA: Ten o’clock.
(Pause.)
I am afraid. What will I do if something happens to him?
DEEPAK: Don’t worry. Nothing will happen to your Mamu.
ANSUYA: You have such a lovely voice, Deepak. It is so sure and confident. It gives me strength.
(She goes up to embrace him. He withdraws slightly.)
DEEPAK: Ma should have been back from the club by now.
ANSUYA: You and your mother …
DEEPAK: It is late. She should have been back. How long do these lunches last, yaar?
ANSUYA: What about us, Deepak? When are we going to tell everyone?
DEEPAK: Tell what?
ANSUYA: About my going to Bombay.
DEEPAK: I have to speak to Ma.
ANSUYA: But I have to ask Amma too.
DEEPAK: Wait, let me speak to Ma first.
ANSUYA: You sound scared.
DEEPAK: No, yaar.
ANSUYA: What’s wrong? You were so sure last night. Deepak, tell me about Bombay and your ideas about the hotel. It will cheer us both up.
DEEPAK: I’m tired, Anu.
ANSUYA: What’s the matter?
DEEPAK: Nothing.
ANSUYA: I want to hold you.
(She goes close to him. Again, he withdraws.)
DEEPAK: I’m tired.
ANSUYA: Let’s go to Bombay.
DEEPAK: What’s the hurry, yaar?
ANSUYA: Let’s go away quickly.
DEEPAK: Why?
ANSUYA: I don’t want to lose you.
(Sounds of footsteps outside.)
DEEPAK: That must be Ma.
(Deepak gets up at once, straightens himself. Ansuya gets up to leave.
Chitra walks in with a brisk step. She is high, looks pleased with herself, and speaks louder than necessary)
CHITRA: Oh, there you are, Deepak. Oh, and Ansuya
too. You know Deepak, I almost fell over that cat. Bahut chalak hai. It seemed to laugh at me. Maine bhi use zor se thudda mara. Saali bhaag gayi. (Hiccup.) A wonderful man, Rai Saheb! (Hiccup.)
DEEPAK: You’ve been drinking again, Ma!
CHITRA: Kya mard hai, Deepak! I tell you, you won’t find another one like him. No wonder he is such a big government officer (She pronounces it ‘gourmint ufsar.’ Giggles and recalls her dance steps from the previous evening.)
One, two three; one, two three. Oh Deepak, kya life hai, kya manners!
(Hiccup.)
DEEPAK: And now you’re drinking during the day?
CHITRA: (Winking.) Oh-ho, thodi si to pi hai!
DEEPAK: And what’s happened to your clothes, Ma?
CHITRA: (Smiling.) A bit crushed, are they?
DEEPAK: They’re a mess.
CHITRA: (Her eyes light up.) Son, it is done. Your future is pucca, and your licence meri mutthi mein hai!.
DEEPAK: You did not … Oh Ma, you shouldn’t have … I would have taken it up with Rai Saheb myself in course of time.
CHITRA: Kya hua maine kar diya? Ek hi to baat hai. But Deepak, that is not all … I have some very big news for you! Oh, main to khushi se paagal ho jaungi!
DEEPAK: What is it, Ma?
CHITRA: Deepak, I have found a girl for you.
DEEPAK: What?
CHITRA: Haan beta! Maine tere liye bahut hi vadhiya kudi dhoondh li hai!
DEEPAK: Ma, what are you saying? I … I’ve given my word to Ansuya.
CHITRA: Kya? Ansuya? Yeh kya bak raha hai?
DEEPAK: Ma, I’ve given my word to Ansuya.
CHITRA: But last night you said …
(Looks at Ansuya and draws Deepak aside, away from her.)
Last night you said that you were only talking.
DEEPAK: I had to say that to keep you from blowing up.
CHITRA: Achcha! To keep me from blowing up? Well, I am going to blow up. I am going to blow up! How dare you commit to this …?
ANSUYA: Deepak, I am afraid.
CHITRA: You sneaky thing! Jab se hum is ghar mein aaye hain, tu mere bete par dore dalne ki koshish kar rahi hai!
DEEPAK: Ma, please!
ANSUYA: That’s not true.
CHITRA: I know her kind. Oh, madam, look at yourself. How old are you? Haan? How old are you?
ANSUYA: Twenty-six.
CHITRA: Well, let me tell you, you look thirty! Too old for my son!
DEEPAK: Ma, what are you saying!
CHITRA: Tu beech mein mat bol! Money hungry, that is what she is.
ANSUYA: I don’t want anything.
CHITRA: Oh really? Don’t want anything? Well we want, madam, we want! Look at you! No hips! No hips! How are you going to give us a son? Haan? No hips!
DEEPAK: (Screaming.) Stop it Ma, stop it this instant!
ANSUYA: (Weeping.) I can’t take this anymore!
(Exit.)
CHITRA: Stop it Ma? All these years I’ve been teaching you: don’t marry beauty; don’t marry for love; marry a rich girl!
DEEPAK: But I love her, Ma.
CHITRA: He doesn’t listen to me. ‘Don’t marry a beauty; don’t marry for love …’
DEEPAK: Yes, Ma, I heard you ‘… marry money.’ But, on the train up here; you said yourself that you wanted me to think of marrying Ansuya.
CHITRA: That was before I found out that they had become poor.
DEEPAK: Ma, I’m doing well. What do we need more money for?
CHITRA: Oh-ho, we always need more money. There’s never enough. Oh, tu kya jaanta hai, what it is like to grow up poor. What do you know what it was like to be tenants of these people in Lahore? Kisi ke tukdon par palna, tu kya jaanta hai? After Partition, what do you know what it was like to be a petty kiranawalla’s wife in Ghatkopar?
(Disgust in her voice.)
Ghatkopar!
DEEPAK: (Cutting her short.) I know. I know all that. Don’t start it again.
(Pause.)
Ma, don’t you care about what I want? Don’t you care about my happiness?
CHITRA: Oh beta, I care only about your happiness. I always have. Jab tu itna sa tha, to din raat ek kar ke tujhe padhaya-likhaya. Khud bhookhi rah kar tera pet bhara. Tujhe is layak banaya jahan tu aaj khada hai …
DEEPAK: And this is happiness?
CHITRA: (Animatedly.) Achcha beta, yeh gussa chhod de. Don’t you want to know who I’ve found for you?
DEEPAK: (Wearily.) No, Ma.
CHITRA: Yeh changa munda hai! After all I have done for him …
DEEPAK: (Wearily.) You’ll tell me anyway.
CHITRA: All right, I will tell you. Deepak, Rai Saheb has a niece. I think she is just the right match for you!
DEEPAK: Who?
CHITRA: Rai Saheb’s niece! Look Deepak, you won’t find another match like her. Beta, beta, thande dimag se soch. My guess is the dowry is not going to be under two lakhs. And maybe they will also give a car, a fridge and an air-conditioner. Uff! Main to khushi se paagal ho rahi hoon! I don’t think I shall be able to sleep tonight, Deepak.
DEEPAK: (Bored and tired.) What about the girl, Ma?
CHITRA: Hain?
DEEPAK: What about the girl?
CHITRA: I didn’t meet her.
DEEPAK: She forgot the girl.
CHITRA: Beta, I have seen her photo. Now look, they are in a rush. We shall have to act fast.
(Pause.)
Well, aren’t you going to say anything?
DEEPAK: (Matter-of-factly.) I’m tired, Ma.
CHITRA: (Stunned.) You are tired?
DEEPAK: Yes, Ma, I’m tired.
CHITRA: Achcha! Here I have been slaving for him—and the burra saheb is tired. (Hurt.)
I thought you would be jumping. Think of your future, son. When they find out about her in your company, you will probably get a double promotion.
DEEPAK: (Barking.) To hell with my promotion, Ma. I want Ansuya.
CHITRA: Yeh phir shuru ho gaya!
DEEPAK: It’s my one chance for an honest life. She is a fine person, with ideals, Ma.
CHITRA: Oh-ho, that girl is only after your position and your job. She has trapped you, you simpleton. Deepak, think of your future. She doesn’t have a naya paisa to her name. You’re on the way up, son. Your star is going to rise. You need a rich girl to help you climb up. Her family are on the way down. She should be satisfied with a municipal clerk.
DEEPAK: (Resigned.) You will never understand …
CHITRA: I want my son to rise above the stink of his father’s life.
DEEPAK: No, Ma.
CHITRA: (Sarcastically.) No, Ma? Theek hai beta, theek hai. Aaj to tu bahut sayana ho gaya hai na? Apni Ma se bhi zyada! Theek hai. You bring up a boy with all your love you snatch from the father to give to the son.
DEEPAK: You were wrong to do that.
CHITRA: (Not comprehending.) You bring him into the world in suffering. You feed him from your own breast. You stay awake at nights so that he can sleep. And when he wets the bed, you pick him up and put him on the dry side and yourself sleep on that wet side. You wear the same dirty rags, so that he can go to school.
DEEPAK: Enough, Ma!
CHITRA: No! Do you know what I have done for you today?
DEEPAK: What?
CHITRA: Main abhi kahan se aa rahi hoon, tujhe pata hai?.
DEEPAK: Yes, yes, I know. You went to the Club with Rai Saheb.
CHITRA: Haan. Rai Saheb ke saath gai zaroor thi. But not the Club. To his house. Ek ghanta unke saath bita kar aa rahi hoon! Samjhe?
DEEPAK: What? You mean …? (The realization of what she has done dawns on him.)
No, Ma! No!
CHITRA: Oh, yes!
DEEPAK: (Horrified.) No, Ma!
CHITRA: Oh, yes, Ma!
DEEPAK: God!
CHITRA: What a mother will not do for her own son! And this is my reward, ji. After all my sacrifice, I get a pauper for a daughter-in-law. It is a fate worse than death. Tu ja, ja—us hoor pari ke saat
h gulchharre uda. Just do one thing before you go—take me to the ghat and perform my funeral!
(And she begins to howl. Slowly the howling gets louder.)
DEEPAK: Quiet Ma, please!
CHITRA: (Sitting down and wailing) Main to lut hi gayi! Lut hi gayi!
DEEPAK: Shh … please!
CHITRA: Aa, beta, aa! Let me tell you something. We’ll get only one pandit, and save money! In the morning he will marry you, in the evening he will burn me. Beta, there’s a knife lying there. Bring the knife, and cut my throat with it.
DEEPAK: (Suddenly losing control.) Quiet, Ma!
(Deepak collapses on the floor near his mother. Clearly, something has snapped within him.)
You’ll have your way! You always have!
(Lights begin to change gradually as Deepak changes into a little boy.)
Ever since I was a little boy. I was a regular teachers’ pet, the kind everybody hates. I would come running home from school, clutching 80 per cent marks in my hand, the good little boy, endlessly in search of the key to that deep and inscrutable mystery, the approval of his mother. Oh, yes, I was Ma’s good little boy.
(He mimicks his mother.)
‘Who is the best little boy any Ma ever had? Who does Ma love more than anyone in the world?’ Me!
(Turns away from Chitra. The lighting has become a cold, white spot, as Deepak becomes a little boy.)
I’m seven. Ma cooks for me, Ma cleans for me, Ma stays up late at night for me, Ma cares for me when I am sick. Ma waits for me after school and when I come home, she asks, ‘Who is the best little boy any Ma ever had? Who does Ma love more than anyone in the world?’ ‘Me, me.’
(Sobbing. Chitra gets up, goes behind Deepak, takes his head in her lap. Slowly, he comes out of his trance.)
Look, Ma. I’m giving up Ansuya! I’m giving her up and my one chance for happiness. I’m doing it for you. And I feel sick to my stomach.
CHITRA: Mera beta.
DEEPAK: I’ve lost, Ma! I’ve lost.
CHITRA: Mera raja beta.
DEEPAK: Am I a coward, Ma?
CHITRA: Yeh tu kya kah raha hai?
DEEPAK: You taught me to go after success, Ma. And I did. You forgot to warn me there might be others in the way. I’m your puppet, Ma. Pull the string. Pull it harder. Choke me.
CHITRA: Mera achha beta. Mera raja beta.
(Fade. Next evening. The same scene. Ansuya is helping Amrita pack. There are boxes and wrapping paper and string all over the floor.)
Three Plays Page 19