Little Doll: Queens of Chaos 1

by L. J. Findlay

  “Love you so much too,” I replied. “Come join me in exile?” I asked, laughing.

  She laughed wickedly back. “Would love to but we can’t both abandon our sweet Gem now can we?”

  “That we can’t.” I paused, gripping her tighter, adrenaline rushing through my veins.

  “You’ve got this. Now go, go!”

  I headed down to the waiting Uber and before I knew it, I was at Blaise’s flat, rushing into his waiting arms. He matched my kisses with equal desperation and lifted me up, carrying me into the sitting room. He laid me down and quickly rid me of my clothing, as I arched my body to meet his. We needed this carnal union. I didn’t know how tonight would pan out but I needed the reassurance that he loved me. That this wasn’t some folly. A flight of fancy. Foolish young love. I needed confirmation that it was real.

  He spread my legs with confidence and thrust into me, not bothering to play with me before. We needed to be joined like this and to chase each other to the peak of our desires, toppling over like dominoes. He pounded into me and I matched his desperation by canting my hips to meet his, to fuck him as an equal partner. Soon enough he was spilling into me, head buried in my shoulder as I gasped out my release. We lay like that a moment longer, savouring our union, the connectedness. The feeling that it would be alright.

  Blaise helped me up into his lap and brushed my hair with his hand before he asked in uncharacteristic nervousness, his gaze focused on our entwined hands, my ring glinting in the evening sunshine. “Is this the end?”

  I looked at him, at the worry swirling in his eyes and I pressed a kiss to his lips. “I don’t want it to be.”

  He exhaled a sigh of relief, burying his head into my shoulder and said, “Thank fuck for that. I am not nearly done with you.”

  “Neither am I,” I replied, positioning my slit over his dick and welcomed him into my tight heat once more.

  I held his gaze as I slowly fucked him, feeling as his girth stretched me, consumed me, and kissed him softly as we came together. As we made love together. As I received the confirmation for my insane plan.

  Eventually, I crawled off his lap. “Just going to head to the bathroom, Blaise.”

  He kissed me softly. “No problem. I’ll just get dinner ready and a glass of wine. I think we’re going to need it.”

  I hid a smile at that; he was going to need it more than he realised. I slipped into the corridor, easily navigating my way to his room and flipped the light on as I entered his room. The memories of the last time we were here were seared into my brain and I had to fight the tidal wave of overwhelming panic that threatened to consume me. What Blaise and I had was so much more than physical affection. We had a connection and I was going to fight for that, even if he wasn’t prepared to. Something had shifted the last night we spent together. He had seemed desperate and possessive, a man pushed to the brink of what he could take. It was just a shame that he didn’t seem able to act on these feelings.

  I pushed these thoughts to one side as I scanned his bedside table to focus on the more immediate matter in hand. Finding his passport and wallet was the priority as we wouldn’t be able to escape without them. My measly grand or so would not keep us hidden for more than a day. Annoyingly, that was the one thing that he was right about.

  Intense relief flared in my chest when I saw his wallet crammed up against the bedside light with a set of car keys. Further inspection of the wallet revealed a selection of cards as well as about a hundred in notes. Who even uses cash anymore? I briefly mused before dragging myself back to the present. Time was ticking and I didn’t have much left before Blaise would be wondering where I was.

  Clutching the wallet close to my chest, I turned my attention to the rest of the room and scanned it frantically before my gaze fell on a sturdy, antique desk pushed up against the wall next to the balcony. His passport must be there. I hurried over to open the drawers, all the while praying that he didn’t keep it in a safe. The first drawer that spanned the width of the surface of the desk revealed a compact laptop which I decided to take. The mysterious escape plan that he kept on alluding to must be on here, so it should be of some use. It was only after opening all the drawers that panic seized me by the throat. His passport was nowhere to be seen. Where could it be?

  “Xanthe?”

  Shit. The icy feeling of being caught twisted around me and I shouted back. “Just cleaning up, Blaise. Won’t be two minutes.”

  Silence. Eventually he said, “No problem. Just serving up dinner but take your time.”

  “You’re amazing, just coming now.” My voice trailed off as the prospect of a happy future disappeared like a puff of smoke. I couldn’t hide Blaise in the boot of a sports car. It surely wouldn’t be big enough but then who was to say that Customs wouldn’t check it? What would happen then? I flipped the keys in my hand as I calmed myself down enough to think rationally.

  I pulled myself together and headed into the bathroom, stepping into the shower and allowing the warm spray of water to soothe my racing thoughts. As I left the shower and was looking for a towel, my gaze fell onto a discarded jacket on the loo seat. Surely not? Feeling through the pockets, I could have cried from relief – his passport was in the breast pocket. We could do this. It was a sign that this insane plan held some sanity. Hope was not all lost.

  With renewed energy, I hastily got dressed and headed out into the corridor. I glanced towards the sitting room where the light was spilling out beneath the cracked door and quickly placed everything into my backpack before heading back to where Blaise was lounging on the floor by the coffee table, smoking pensively.

  His gaze lit up as I approached him and I smiled, taking the cigarette and pressing a kiss to his lips. I took a deep inhale, the nicotine soothing my racing heart, as I took in the tantalising spread before me. “You’re such a sweetheart, Blaise.” I stubbed the cigarette out and kissed him softly. “This looks amazing.”

  His answering smile looked pained. “It’s the least I could do for the last night I can spend with the girl of my dreams.”

  My heart squeezed at that and I nestled in closer to him as I took a sip of wine. We chatted easily about trite topics as we enjoyed the delicious dinner Blaise had prepared for us. As we enjoyed our last night of freedom. As we avoided discussing anything too serious, anything that would detract from the happy bubble we had created for ourselves.

  I also made sure not to drink too much. Traffic police were the least of my worries compared to the psychopathic killers of The Club. Regardless, I did not need to be pulled over for being over the limit and sent back to square one. Blaise had no such qualms and his glass was almost empty. The perfect time to enact my plan. Too much time had passed and all I wanted to do was leave before it was too late.

  I extracted myself from his embrace and picked his glass up. “More wine?”

  “You’re such a darling, Xanthe.” He smiled at me. “Are you not having any more?”

  “I will catch up, don’t worry. I think this evening must be getting to me.” I laughed lightly, relieved when he didn’t press the issue and I headed into the kitchen.

  There were perks of your best friend being an herbalist as it meant that Noelle had prepared a generous dose of valerian that could be mixed into a glass of wine. She assured me that it would work when I was initially hesitant. I thought that something chemical would be more effective but Noelle, in her usual hippy and witchy way, dismissed the idea, claiming that a natural approach would help the efficacy of my plan. I had always entertained her ideas but this one made me nervous. Regardless, I would trust her like I always had and emptied the powder into the glass, stirring it well to ensure that there was no incriminating silt in the bottom.

  I headed back into the sitting room with the glass and handed it to Blaise before filling mine up. He smiled and raised a glass to me. “To us, darling.”

  “To us.” I held his gaze as I toasted our escape plan before hiding my knowing smirk with a deep sip. He mirro
red me and drained half of his glass before pulling me back into a tight embrace.

  Soon enough his eyelids began to droop and he tried to blink them open, looking at me in confusion. I swallowed down the acerbic taste of betrayal and kissed him gently on the lips. “Sleep, Blaise. I am doing the saving this time.”

  Guilt clawed at me as I looked at his sleeping form, his features relaxed. Would he ever forgive me for such a transgression of his trust? Ignoring the feelings that threatened to consume me, I dragged his body to the elevator. How had I overlooked this key part of the plan? What was I thinking when I thought it would be easy for a five foot three girl to move all six feet of Blaise? Would the valerian even keep him asleep?

  I jammed the button on the elevator and put the backpack on, my toe tapping all the while from the nerves. It would be so typical to be caught now. Literally red-handed, in the act, with Blaise lying comatose at my feet. The ding of the approaching elevator ricocheted around the cavernous hallway like a gunshot, making me jump right out of my skin. Thankfully, it was empty when the doors slid open and I dragged him in before pressing the button to the basement, where I presumed the car park was. The lift descended before opening up to reveal a car park. I breathed a sigh of relief. I was so close.

  Poking my head out, I verified that it was empty and then scanned the cars to find his Lamborghini. I saw it against the far corner and set to the task of dragging his dead weight to the car. Thankfully, it was matte black but that didn’t detract from its overall flashiness. A sports car, really? I knew that it was to be expected but still… it made people look twice and I didn’t need that kind of attention.

  I had managed to get halfway across the car park before I had to stop, breathing heavily. He was so damn heavy. It just hadn’t crossed my mind how much he weighed because he wasn’t exceptionally built. His figure was toned, sure, but it was lithe and athletic. I refocused on his wretched Lamborghini and channelled everything I had on dragging him there. We eventually reached the car and I opened it, positioning Blaise in the front seat before settling nervously in the driver’s seat and gingerly starting the ignition. Sports cars were way out of my driving capabilities but luckily I managed to manoeuvre out of the carpark and into the street. I didn’t breathe a sigh of relief until we were on the motorway and speeding towards Dover, the lights of London receding behind us.

  Adrenaline was pounding through my veins and I felt lightheaded. Had I actually done this? I glanced towards Blaise, asleep in the front seat, and panic coursed through me. What the fuck had I done? There was no going back from this. I had truly made my bed and I had to damn well lie in it. Pressing my foot to the accelerator, I sped the car up to almost 100mph and prayed that Blaise would be on board with this plan. We hadn’t uttered the ‘L’ word yet, but it was implicit in our most recent coupling. That had to mean something. It had to.

  I gazed at the road ahead of me, the occasional flash of white light speeding past, the luminescent glow of the red lights ahead and the gentle thrum of the engine purring under me. How had my life managed to spiral so out of control that I had kidnapped a guy I wasn’t even sure wanted to go the distance with me? How had I been entrapped in an engagement? Into a forced relocation across the Atlantic? How had I sleepwalked through life to this point?

  My hands started to shake on the wheel as I slowed down and pulled off at the junction for Dover, following directions to the port. I sent a prayer to whatever deity looked down on me that there was barely any queue as I pulled up to the customs booth.

  The man registered the car and I once again cursed its flashiness. Couldn’t we have had a Prius or a Volvo, or something lowkey? This screamed attention and could force my plan to backfire massively. I smiled innocently at him as his gaze refocused on mine, suspicion pulling his brows together when he noticed Blaise passed out beside me.

  “Tickets and passports, please.”

  I handed them both over, forcing my hands not to shake and he scanned them before handing them back. “Everything okay with your boyfriend?”

  “Food poisoning. I really didn’t want to travel today but we have a friend’s wedding just outside Paris tomorrow.” I batted my eyelashes at him. “I just hope that he’s recovered by tomorrow.”

  “Hm.” The man frowned again, not letting me past and I just hoped that he wouldn’t alert anyone. Surely they were stricter on the French side? It wasn’t like I was smuggling anyone across the border. It was just a kidnapping, but it would take too long to explain that to a border guard. It was better to stick with the food poisoning story. After a tense few seconds had passed his features relaxed. “I hope he gets better soon. You enjoy your trip.”

  Breathing out a sigh of relief, I pressed gingerly down on the ignition and inched forward to board the ferry. The relief I felt when the horn sounded, alerting us to our departure, was unparalleled. I felt giddy. Light-headed. Then it slammed into me. There was no going back now. I glanced over at Blaise who was still sleeping peacefully. What the fuck had I just done?

  Blaise

  Blearily I opened my eyes, feeling motion beneath me, and I looked around, confused. I thought that I was in my flat with Xanthe, trying to figure out what the fuck we were going to do about the situation. I scrambled to recall the previous events and realised that there must have been something in the wine when she had topped me off because everything had suddenly gone black. I was knocked out. Sedated. By the fucking girl I was falling in love with no less.

  “Xanthe,” I choked out.

  Her large, gorgeous blue eyes gazed at me, worry and concern radiating off her. “Y-yes, Blaise?”

  “What. The. Fuck. Have. You. Done?”

  She swallowed before replying hurriedly, the words tumbling out in her haste to explain herself. “I was pushed into a corner. Not only was I going to be married, I was going to have to live in New York. I just didn’t know what to do. So yeah…this has happened.” She bit her lip, slowing down, her eyes wide with concern. “You’re mad at me?”

  The question hung between us. The question that meant everything. It was clear Xanthe had no idea whether I was on board with her essentially kidnapping me. With her stealing my fucking car. With her deliberately provoking some very dangerous men.

  Most importantly, if I even loved her.

  That’s what the cause of the stress was. I knew in that instant that her kidnapping me was a display of love. It might very well have been aggravated by Xander forcing her into marriage and moving her to New York of all places. But it came from a place of love. She needed us to be together.

  My reply would either ruin her or set us both on the maddest adventure I had ever been on. The connection that had ensnared us both from the moment we saw each other thrummed between us. An irresistible live wire. I was mad at her. I couldn’t trust her. She was unpredictable. That would not work in achieving libertas. It was entirely within the realms of possibility that she would do something to jeopardise our escape because she had so recklessly enacted this plan. I had planned something, of course I had, but I wasn’t going to do something so spontaneously as Xanthe had.

  Unwilling because I could not go home now. The elders would not believe that I had been kidnapped by a girl, and even if they did, they would punish me for being duped so easily. This was happening whether I agreed to it or not.

  Was I mad at her? Our damn connection reminded me that I couldn’t get rid of her. Xanthe and Blaise was a thing no matter how much I wanted to deny it. Maybe this insane adventure could be our shot of exploring whatever was between us. If people could climb Everest then maybe I could trust her again. I wanted to, I wanted us to be together if I was being honest. We were both entranced, captive to this attraction burning bright between us and there was no denying it or going back. Whatever was going to happen, we were going to do it together.

  Wearily. I replied. “No, darling. I am not mad at you. I’m stunned that you had the audacity but I suppose there is only so much a girl can take.” Relief sho
ne in her eyes and I kissed her plush, kissable lips softly. “Alia iacta est.”

  “Alia iacta est,” she breathed out against my lips.

  * * *

  The End

  Glossary

  Meus ad infinitum – (Latin) Mine forever and ever

  Semper et semper – (Latin) always and always

  Keys – English slang for drug paraphernalia and taking drugs in general, specifically cocaine

  Alia iacta est – (Latin) The die has been cast

  Hinge - Dating app

  Negroni - Cocktail made of gin, red vermouth and campari

  Putain - French curse-word, literally whore but is the same as fuck

  Wanker - British swear word

  Bloody - British swear word, also used as an adjective

  Acknowledgments

  Thank you so much for finishing Little Doll: Queens of Chaos 1! I hope you enjoyed it as much as I enjoyed writing it.

  Writing was just the tip of the iceberg, the easy bit, and I wouldn’t have been able to share my stories without the help of so many amazing people. I knew that it wasn’t going to be as simple as uploading a finished manuscript and hoping for the best, but I just hadn’t realised how much of a minefield it was going to be. This might be quite a lengthy thanks!

  I am beyond grateful for the support of my family and friends; sharing a story strips you bare for everyone to judge and criticise. It’s hugely personal as the story becomes so much more than mere words. It literally becomes your book baby which you are fiercely protective over. It’s easier to keep it private, but I wanted to share Little Doll with everyone. I took the plunge with telling everyone about it and I’ve been blown away by the support I’ve received. Dark romance is never going to be something easy to share with your loved ones as it all becomes a bit awkward. We are British after all! That said, I have been so grateful for the unwavering belief in Little Doll and excitement to see it released. Thank you! And thank you for accepting my crazy storylines, even if you have no idea how I’ve dreamed them up.