That night.
I hadn’t been able to bring myself to look at all of them. The first ones we’d taken were good, but as we’d fallen deeper down the rabbit hole, they’d been spectacular. From the glance that I’d forced myself to take, he hadn’t sent anything that would’ve raised eyebrows, but I wondered what had happened to the other pictures.
Growing up, I was always shown pictures of landscapes and old dead people and told it was art. The most interesting things I’d seen were some of the weird ones where people were more geometric than anything realistic. Naked meant porn, and that wasn’t art.
As I’d gotten older, I’d learned there were more subtle definitions of art and a lot more naked people in those old paintings than I’d been led to believe. But that night, I’d felt like what we’d created was more than dirty pictures…it was more than erotica…it was something else entirely.
Had it been art?
I wasn’t sure.
Had it been incredible?
Absolutely.
Finally turning on the car, I pulled out of the parking lot and started driving. I remembered telling Reece I had to go home for something, but I couldn’t remember why anymore. Had it been clothes? I glanced down to see that I was wearing jeans and a T-shirt. Boring for me, but fine. Nothing else seemed important enough to matter.
As I drove through the streets, slowly making my way over to Reece’s apartment, I tried to imagine how their conversation had gone and how they’d patched everything up. My brain wasn’t up to it, though, and it just circled back around to Roman.
My mind was starting to clear from the fog that had taken over by the time I arrived at Reece’s place, but not by much. Crazy things kept rolling around in my head, and I couldn't decide how I felt. Nothing made sense.
I didn’t even realize how emotional I was until I saw Reece open the door. His clearly well-fucked expression and the love shining from him were too much to bear. I wanted that. And for just a few minutes, I’d thought I’d found it.
Throwing myself at Reece, not bothering to hide the drama and emotion any longer, I cried out in sadness and confusion. “Preston fired Roman!”
Chapter 9
Roman
“Would you like to tell me what you’re doing in my office on a Monday morning when you should be working? Even if you don’t have a shoot today, I’m sure you have better things to do.” The fact that Devin had waited almost thirty minutes to ask me that showed his self-restraint.
If he’d shown up at my place with coffee way too early on a Monday, I’d have asked questions a hell of a lot sooner. He also liked people more than I did, though. That might have had something to do with it. But that still didn’t help me figure out how to answer him. Lying seemed wrong, but the truth was still raw. “How’s that fundraiser going you were telling me about?”
“It’s like that, huh?” Devin gave me an understanding look before he continued. “Okay then. It’s going great, actually. We already raised everything that we need and then some. A big donation the other day really helped.”
“I thought you said this one would probably be close and take a few more weeks before you knew if you’d met your goal?” I didn’t really care about his work at the moment, but it was a better conversation than why I was there, so I kept pushing.
Devin shrugged. “I thought it would be. We’ve already had all the big corporate donations I was expecting for the year. I’m just glad everything worked out.”
“That’s good.” I wasn’t sure what else to say, and I still wasn’t sure why I’d even shown up there to begin with. No job meant I really didn’t have the extra funds lying around to pay for overpriced coffee, but that was what I’d found myself doing after I’d stumbled out of bed.
With the shitty night’s sleep I’d had, I should have slept half the day away. But I’d been up at the crack of dawn instead, staring at the ceiling. My brain had been startlingly empty, so it wasn’t like I was obsessing, but staying home hadn’t seemed like a good idea.
So I’d found myself at Devin’s office at a ridiculous hour, offering coffee but no explanations. He’d humored me through questions about his family and even the goddamned weather, but it was starting to look like his curiosity was at its limit.
He tried again with a slightly different tactic. “I’m assuming there’s a reason you’re not working?”
That was easy enough to answer with a nod, but it probably didn’t give him enough information. Devin shook his head and leaned back in his chair. “You and Eli get into it again?”
“Yes.” That was an understatement.
Somehow my anger had just boiled over every time I’d seen him. I’d thought with some distance from that night it would get easier, but it’d just gotten harder. Every time I’d looked at him, I’d felt a sickness inside of me that wouldn’t go away.
I was an idiot and pathetic to boot.
How I could keep picking such losers was beyond me. If there was a self-centered asshole in a hundred miles, I either picked him up, or he threw himself at me. Deciding I might as well get it over with, I forced the words out. “I got fired. Preston said we argued too much, and it was starting to affect the other employees.”
He’d also apologized and said he’d wished things had gone differently, even giving me a look that said he knew more than I’d thought he had about what had happened. I knew Eli’s description wouldn’t have been anywhere close to mine, so he had to have found out about it another way, but I didn’t really care.
Devin winced and shook his head. “Eli’s a handful, but I personally thought you guys would hit it off.”
“Just because I’m drawn to brats does not make them functional people. It simply means they’re harder to deal with than the average person and most of the time, assholes.” I wouldn’t sugarcoat it.
I wasn’t going to blame Eli for everything, though. “I shouldn’t have taken the position to begin with. Once I met Eli, I knew it wouldn’t work. The money was great, and it was a steady job and a chance to rebuild everything, but it wasn’t a good fit. I knew he was too much like my ex right off the bat. I should have looked for something else.”
Devin’s eyebrows shot up. “I don’t know. From everything that I saw online and from what you said, I think that they’re very different. Sure, Eli likes to be the center of attention and probably needs a good spanking once in a while, but he’s not an asshole or malicious.”
Were we talking about the same guy?
“I’d say calling me a two-bit hack and saying that monkeys could take better pictures is bordering on malicious.” And those weren’t even the cruelest things he’d said about my work.
Of course, I’d called him—
“What did you say to him?” Devin gave me a long stare as I shrugged. “Eli generally doesn’t start it unless he thinks someone he likes is being attacked. What did you do?”
Like it’d been all my fault.
“I told him to go stand on his street corner to get attention and not try to get it from me.” No point in hiding the insanity now.
Devin’s eyes about bugged out of his head. “You called him a hooker?”
“Several times.” The look on Devin’s face made me want to defend myself. “He’s unprofessional in shoots. He’s not just wearing the clothes, he’s turned on and aroused with his hard dick swinging at everyone. It’s ridiculous and insane. I don’t care about how popular he is or how sexy he looks in the damned panties. I was hired to photograph clothes, not porn stars.”
Devin chuckled but was still shaking his head. “So he’s a whore because he likes being watched and the panties turn him on? Isn’t that kind of his job description?”
Fuck.
“There’s a difference. The other guys who are really into it don’t make it seem like they’re begging every guy to fuck them. Eli’s behavior was over the top, and the brat thing is too much for work. I wanted him to be professional.” Devin didn’t seem to get it, so I kept going. “He
walked around nearly naked last week because some guy online dared him to. What kind of person does that at work?”
“Someone who’s raising money for a youth center,” Devin said in a deadpan voice. “The guy online made the bet just to drive you crazy, and then other people pitched in. Eli managed to donate over five thousand dollars to the center last week, just by doing that dare.”
What?
So maybe the fact that it was a bet to donate money to the center made a little bit of a difference—but not that much. “He was practically naked for a week just to make me uncomfortable. I think that negates any good the money might do. In any other company that would be grounds for sexual harassment. They’re like this big family that doesn’t have boundaries or common sense.”
Devin winced. “Are you going to sue or something?”
“No. Not because I’m wrong, but because I have no desire for any more notoriety. When I gave Preston a similar answer, he thanked me and gave me three months of severance pay.” Eli might not have been able to see past his own cock, but Preston had seemed to understand the bigger picture.
“I’m just wondering how many other people Eli’s tortured into quitting because they didn’t fall at his feet and worship at his dick.” Maybe the words were harsh, but that didn’t explain the way Devin’s mouth dropped open. “What?”
“I’ve never heard of anyone who hated working there. I think there were a few people when they first opened that weren’t a good fit, but I’ve never heard anything like this before. We wouldn’t have worked with them if I’d heard stories like that from other people.” Devin was shaking his head, and it seemed like he couldn’t believe the picture I was painting. “Eli’s always been a flirt, but I’ve never met a harder worker. I don’t think he’s even dated anyone else at work, much less made it seem like he wanted to have sex.”
“I guess I was just lucky.” I shrugged, not really caring. “He had it out for me from the first day when I didn’t fall all over him. Who greets a new employee almost naked?”
Devin choked, trying not to laugh. “No one explained that later?”
At my confused expression, Devin continued. “They have every prospective new employee either sit through a shoot or meet the models like that so they can see who would be a good fit, and who just sees the guys as sex objects. They’ve had a lot of people over the years completely fail that portion of the interview. Some guys couldn’t keep their hands to themselves or made overly suggestive remarks, but they usually explain it once you’re hired.”
“I got no explanations. All I got was a nearly naked slut who made suggestive comments and talked about getting spanked in an interview. When I didn’t appreciate his sense of humor, evidently, it only got worse.” Leaning back in Devin’s chair, I took a sip of my now-cold coffee, trying to ignore the anger that was starting to build.
“I’m sorry you felt that way.” Devin seemed torn. “Did you ever talk to him about it, confront him or something?”
“No, I needed the job. I thought at one point things were changing, but they got worse. Now, I’ve only got a few months to figure out how to build up my business again. And without any connections besides you, I’m sunk.” And also without any ideas about how I needed to go about growing it again. It’d taken years to build it up the first time, but I wasn’t going back to working a thousand dead-end jobs while I tried to get it off the ground.
He winced. “My couch is always available.”
“Which is just sad, man. Why don’t you have someone in your life?” I was done talking about me.
He gave a careless shrug that seemed to be hiding what he was really feeling and took a long drink of his cold coffee. Yup, hiding something. “I work too many hours. It makes meeting people almost impossible.”
Bullshit.
Trying to lighten the mood, I gave him a stern look. “Well for god’s sake, don’t find someone now; I might need that couch in a few months.”
The look on his face said I might’ve already lost the couch. But when he didn’t volunteer any information, I didn’t push. If he wasn’t comfortable sharing, I’d give him his space for a while. I had enough problems in my life. I didn’t need to add alienating my only friend to the list.
Devin gave a low laugh and nodded. “I’ll keep that in mind. And I don’t mind helping you out, but what are you going to do about the business?”
“I’m not even sleeping on the couch yet, and you’re already bitching about me moving out.” Grinning to show I was teasing, I tried to think of a good answer. “I don’t know. The photos I’ve been taking have turned out great, but I’m not sure about going back to the stuff I was doing before. It doesn’t seem to be a good fit anymore.”
The vague answers made me crazy, but I couldn’t give anything better.
“Well, was it just the environment at L and L that made you crazy, or was part of it the clothing and content?” Devin’s question didn’t quite make sense.
“What do you mean?” I thought about it for a second. “I’m not a prude, and I don’t mind lifestyle stuff no matter what the kink is, if that’s what you’re asking. I didn’t mind the clothes. It was Eli that I couldn’t handle.”
I wasn’t going to bash the company, even though someone should have reined him in, or the lingerie. It wasn’t something I’d ever dressed a sub up in before, but it was sexy and the photographs had been amazing.
Devin nodded, reassured. “I know a guy who’d like to have some boudoir photos done. Some just with the lingerie, but some with a bit of kink thrown in. I’m not sure exactly what he’s looking for, but he’s nervous about approaching more traditional photographers. Even the ones who offer boudoir-style shoots don’t really want to work with guys.”
Hmm. “You know weird people. You know that, right?”
One eyebrow went up. “I know you, don’t I?”
“See, that just made my point.” Smiling, I reached out to set my cup on the corner of his desk. “Sure, I’ll talk to him and see what he wants. I might need to find a space, unless his place would work.”
“Thanks. His husband is going to be deployed, he’s army I think, and the guy wants to give him one of those books for a present before he leaves.” Devin seemed relieved that I didn’t have an issue. “I told him you were the only photographer I knew who might do it. So I said I’d ask, but I haven’t promised him anything.”
“No, it’s fine.”
“Do you have any of those types of pictures I could show him? Something so he could see your style or how it would look? All he’s found online are either very straight female photos or stuff from porn shoots, and that’s not a realistic example of what they would look like.” Devin finally gave up on his coffee, setting it down on the desk.
“I don’t know. I’ll have to look.” The only ones I could think of were of my ex or Eli. “Do you think there’s a market for those kinds of photos? Not the women doing it for their guys on Valentine’s Day, but more fetish or lifestyle based?”
Taking pictures of bored housewives who wanted to feel a little bit naughty for twenty minutes had never appealed to me as a career path, but Devin’s idea felt different. Finding a date could be hard when a person was into the lifestyle in some way, and getting good photographs that reflected who they were had to be even harder. If the porn-style stuff was shoved aside, the options were probably vanilla or bad selfies.
Devin looked thoughtful but didn’t seem to know how to answer. “I’m not sure. It’s not something that gets brought up in conversation. I know there’s a big BDSM and kink community if you look a few hours out, but for pictures…I just don’t know how much business that would be, or how you could make a living on it.”
It was something to think about though.
“Dating profiles…” As I began to roll it around in my head, I started to think out loud. “There have been a lot of fetish articles in different mainstream media lately, so there has to be some kind of need for photos for them. And there have
to be things I’m not thinking about.”
As the idea took root, it started to grow, and I knew it wasn't going to leave me alone. It’d take a while to figure it out, but considering the fact that I didn’t have a job, I had plenty of time to get the idea straight in my head and see if it was a viable option.
Only one downside came to mind right away…I needed a portfolio to show prospective clients. And looking at my two options, I was going to have to choose the lesser of two insane, bratty evils.
Eli.
Shit.
Chapter 10
Eli
“Eli, we need to talk to you.” Reece’s calm voice had me glancing up from the computer. I’d been going over financial reports that Preston had said I couldn’t put off any longer for over an hour, but I hadn’t been able to make any headway on them.
Possibly because my mind was going in a thousand different directions.
Looking around, I realized that I must have been in my own world for a while, because nearly everyone else had left for the day while I’d been staring at the screen. However, Reece, Preston, and Houston were standing around my computer, staring at me.
It took another second for my brain to catch up. “Talk about what?”
“Lots of things.” Houston’s dry answer made Reece shoot him a glare, but I wasn’t sure what they were talking about. But it was nice he wasn’t glaring daggers at me anymore. If all it took was two weeks to get over it, I’d have to say that the guy didn’t hold a grudge, which was good when dealing with me.
“What? I’ve got work to finish.” Glaring at the overly concerned expressions on their faces, I wanted to head in the opposite direction. Unfortunately, they had me backed into a corner. Literally. Glancing around, I realized I should have picked a different computer.
When I’d first sat down, the privacy at the back of the room was nice, but watching them, I felt like a trapped rabbit.
Reece seemed to be the spokesman for the group, so it didn’t surprise me when he sat down at the next computer and started speaking again. “We’re worried about you.”
Leashes & Lace Books 1-3: MM Romance Boxed Set Page 24