He finally glanced up and nodded. “You’re going to look amazing in these.”
It wasn’t enough, but I wasn’t sure how to ask for more.
“What do you want to do first?” I had to fight the urge to look away. “I’ve got a few more traditionally masculine pieces if you’re picturing going that route for some of the photos. I know I grabbed the more feminine things, but—”
“No, these are about showing the different styles of photos, sure, but it’s also about making sure you come through in them.” Roman was quiet for a moment. “I want to make sure I capture the piece of you that’s unique. It’s not just photographing someone in lingerie. It’s about showing their passion…for the lifestyle…for a person…for a fetish…Whatever that passion turns out to be.”
“And with me…” I was insane, but I pushed ahead anyway. “What would you say my passion is? What should show up in my photographs?”
He was too quiet.
His gaze never wavered, but it took too long for him to answer.
He hated me.
What the fuck was I doing to myself? I wasn’t one of those guys who chased assholes who despised them. I didn’t push myself at straight guys. I didn’t go after guys who were just bad news. Sure, I’d flirt with anyone, but that was as far as it went. I wanted a good time, but I wasn’t going to destroy myself to get it.
Except, that’s what I was doing.
I was a moron.
Roman finally spoke, and my heart started pounding. His quiet voice held just a hint of the Dom who’d taken my pictures that night. “Your passion is in the submission, but it’s the submission that comes after you’ve pushed at the boundaries to test their strength and have completely given yourself over to it. It’s in being watched and wanted, but knowing that they can’t have you because you’ve given that part of yourself to someone else.”
I didn’t even know what to say.
What the fuck was going on?
Roman’s lips quirked in the barest hint of a smile, but his eyes were flooded with pleasure and something else that was eluding me. He glanced away long enough to grab a pair of panties off the bed and then moved his focus back to me. “Do you have a white dress shirt you could wear over these?”
Since it was an easy question that didn’t make my brain work, the answer came quickly. “Sure.”
I could see what he wanted in my head. “I have some heels. Is that the look you’re going for?”
Roman nodded. “Yes. That would be good.”
“Okay, I’ll…um…I’ll be right back.” Escaping for a moment, grabbing the clothes didn’t take nearly long enough.
The combination of the masculine and feminine would look interesting in the photos. And it showed that he’d clearly considered how to photograph me. Had I been on his mind, or was it just something that had come to him quickly?
Roman could be like that; one minute he’d have a model positioned a certain way, and in the next second, he’d have everything changed around to make it completely different. It was like things would just come to him.
Walking back into the room, I saw Roman staring at the items on the bed, lost in thought. “Will these work?”
Holding up the white men’s dress shirt and bright red heels that almost matched the panties perfectly, I waited for him to look up. As his gaze moved to the clothing, he nodded and glanced down at the scrap of fabric that his fingers had been absently caressing.
“Yes, they’re perfect. Would you put them on? I think I’d like you over by the window first, if that’s okay. I don’t think anyone can see in, and the light’s perfect.” He gestured toward the window with his free hand. “If you’re not comfortable, though, the dark gray of that one wall should work too.”
“No, that’s fine.” The window looked out into the back yard, but because of the placement of the houses, it was private. Walking close enough to take the panties Roman held out, I turned toward the bathroom. “I’ll change into these and be right back.”
Walking into the bathroom to get ready felt weird, but staying in there would have been impossible. I’d never felt ashamed of what I did or who I was, but something about taking off my clothes in front of Roman felt…wrong.
Not in a bad way.
I knew I was safe with him, but mentally, everything in me was screaming that I needed to go in the opposite direction. Changing into the panties and shirt didn’t take long, and soon I was dressed and sliding on the sexy heels.
I didn’t wear a lot of dresses and things like that, but something about women’s shoes and intimate things were so much sexier than men’s. I loved a hot man in a jock as much as the next guy, but for myself, I’d always felt more desirable in feminine things.
Looking in the mirror, refusing to admit I was dawdling, I ran my fingers through my hair to give it a mussed, just-fucked look. The contrasts between the colors and the mix of masculine and feminine looked beautiful.
But I felt slightly naked.
Which was stupid, because I’d been way more naked in front of him before. But I couldn’t help it. Taking a deep breath and refusing to hide who I was in my own home, I stepped away from the sink and turned toward the door.
The heels made my legs look longer, and they gave me a boost of artificial confidence that I usually didn’t need, but I was going to take every little bit of help I could. As I stepped out of the bathroom, carefully closing the door behind me, I tried to keep up that veneer of poise.
I was a damned good model, and I looked great. Nothing he said would change that.
“Perfect.”
His voice was smooth, but it still wasn’t enough words for me to figure out what he was talking about. Me or the clothes? If it wasn’t for the little flash of emotion in his eyes, I would have said the clothes, but there was always just enough to leave me wondering.
“Good.” Trying to keep calm, I pointed to the far wall. “You said over by the window?”
Roman gave a short nod, then spoke quietly as he focused his gaze on the camera in his hand. “Yes, thank you.”
Not sure if he was just distracted or if I was being dismissed, I made my way over to the window. I wished I could have said I strode, or that I slinked across the room sexily…but I was too nervous for anything remotely fabulous.
He was even ruining heels for me.
The ass.
Being able to bitch, at least in my head, made me feel a little bit better. But not enough. I was still feeling too guilty over getting him fired and everything else that had happened. Sure, we’d both played a part, but I didn’t like knowing I’d been at fault even in some small way.
Standing by the window, I tried to imagine how the photo would look and what would work best, but it didn’t feel like Eli standing in the room, I felt like Elijah. A fraud who was faking everything and trying to desperately hide who he really was. I felt awkward and nothing about it was right.
“Let’s try one hand on the wall and then turning just the top half of your body toward me.” Roman’s words were the nicest, most bland things I’d ever heard from him in a shoot.
It didn’t help any.
Nothing helped. I shifted, and he’d give more instructions, he’d nod, but then would tweak something else. It was professional and calm, but also boring, and there was none of the passion I usually felt in front of the camera. I wasn’t even hard. It was like my dick was completely broken.
He liked wearing panties.
He liked being watched.
He liked having the camera on us.
Well, he was now on strike and refusing to cooperate until I made better decisions. Out of all the stupid things I’d done, the fact that he drew the line at my being polite with Roman was insane.
“This isn’t working, Eli. Come here.” Roman sighed, and I turned back toward him to see him sitting on the bed.
He was slumped over and looked nothing like the confident man who’d stared down his nose at me the first day we’d met. With a sinking fe
eling in my stomach, I moved away from the window and took two steps to the bed. “Did you want to try a different location? The—”
Roman interrupted, shaking his head. “It’s not that.” Taking a deep breath, he reached a hand out. “I know I don’t deserve this, but come kneel down here so we can talk.”
It should have felt wrong, but I was mostly numb as I took one final step and let my legs fold neatly so I was looking up at him, the white shirt covering most of my thighs. Not even attempting to guess what he was thinking, I just waited.
It wasn’t quite submission, but it was the closest I’d come to it since that night.
Roman reached a hand out and cupped my cheek. “I’m sorry.”
For what?
But I stayed silent while he looked down at me. His thumb started tenderly caressing my cheek, and I forced myself not to move…not until I knew what the fuck he was doing.
“I know you said doing the shoot was alright. But you’re clearly uncomfortable, and I know that’s my fault. Before, you would have come through that door, confident and turned on. If I made you feel that being passionate about any of this was wrong, I’m sorry.”
I wasn’t sure what to say. Finally, I forced the uncertain words out. “I don’t know what’s going on and it’s…unsettling.”
“That’s the understatement of the year. You got dressed in the bathroom.” Roman said it like it was something sad and terrible. “You’d strip down in front of almost anyone just to show them how sexy you are in those panties, Brat. But I made you so uncomfortable, just by being here, that you left the room.”
Brat.
After everything we’d screamed at each other, it should’ve stung, but the look on his face made it clear there was no malice in the word. But I still had no idea what was going on, so that’s what I said. “I don’t know what you want.”
“Your forgiveness, to start.” It was simple, but it hit me hard.
Nodding, I refused to look away. “As long as you’ll accept my apology. I should have asked more questions and looked you up online like Preston kept insisting. I just saw the photos and didn’t care about the rest. When you showed up, you were angry, and I had no idea why.”
Roman gave me a rueful look. “You were everything I told myself I shouldn’t want, but did. I was so angry that after everything had gone so badly with my ex I’d somehow landed right in front of you. A smart-ass brat who was clearly begging for a spanking and didn’t bother to hide who he was or what he wanted. You were everything I was fighting not to want, and I hated myself for it.”
“And I didn’t help the situation.” I’d just kept pushing and fighting. “In my defense, Preston really should have pointed it out. I just thought you were a judgmental dick.”
Roman laughed. “Brat. But yeah, I probably was.” Then his smile faded, and he turned serious. “Do you want me to go? I know that—”
Cutting off his words, I shook my head. “No, but I think the bigger question is…Do you want to stay? I’m not going to hide who I am here or feel guilty about what I like. I’m not going to change for anyone else. I already have more of that in my life than I want.”
Could he live with that?
“You shouldn’t have to. You’re beautiful and feisty and look incredible when you let your submission wrap around you. I’ve never met anyone like you.” Roman let his thumb flick across my lower lip, slow and tender, like he was testing the waters.
My tongue flicked out and licked at the smooth skin, and my cock finally started to take an interest in what was happening. Roman’s gaze heated and his smile was back, but it was wicked and there was the barest hint of the Dom who’d sent me flying in them.
“Will you let me take your picture?” It was simple, but I could hear the layers of meaning in the words.
We still had so much shit to talk about and work through. There were so many things we hadn’t addressed, and I wasn’t even sure what he was looking for. I could do the occasional hookup and have it mean nothing, but that was with a stranger, someone meaningless and casual.
Roman was anything but meaningless, and I wasn’t sure I could walk away again without leaving a piece of me with him. “Just the photos, or do you want more? I need to know before we start.”
He watched me for a long time, and I could see emotions and thoughts flashing across his eyes. Finally, his other hand came up and started running through my hair. “More. I don’t know what that looks like or if we can make any of it work, but yes, I want more.”
A weight lifted off my shoulders, and I didn’t fight the goofy smile I knew was plastered on my face. I might regret it later, and I had no idea if I was making the right decision or not, but I stretched closer to him and let my lips press to his.
It was short and tender, and I hoped it said better than words what was going through my head. When Roman pulled away, I grinned, finally feeling like myself again. “Will you take my picture, Master?”
Yes, there would be discussions and conversations, and probably arguments if I knew us, but at that moment, I wanted to let everything go. I wanted it to be him and me again, with the beautiful pictures I knew we could create.
“Oh, my brat.” Roman’s thumb slowly teased over my mouth again. “I’m going to take so many pictures of you.”
The words were innocent and simple, but the images they created in my head were dirty and perfect. I couldn’t wait.
Chapter 13
Roman
He was incredible.
Beautiful.
Wicked.
Teasing.
And so hard his dick strained against the fabric of the delicate panties.
It was the Eli who’d pulled me close and had made me want to go insane with frustration and need. “That’s right, Brat. Arch your ass out again, hands against the wall like I’m going to walk right up and fuck that tight little hole.”
So it wasn’t the calm, professional shoot I’d pictured.
But watching the way his body moved and the passion behind each glance made it the most erotic and memorable shoot I knew I’d ever have.
As Eli gave a teasing glance over his shoulder, letting the wicked things he wanted shine in his smile, his back bowed and his bottom peeked out from under the white cotton of the shirt. “Oh, Brat, the next time we do this I’m going to have you plugged and everyone will be able to see the need on your face, not just that little smirk.”
Desire swept through him, and I took frame after frame, desperate to catch the incredible look on his face. “That’s right. A nice thick plug that’s pressed right up against your prostate. I’ll make it vibrate and pulse, and I’ll push you right to the edge, all while documenting every wave of sensation that runs through you.”
Moving enough to catch a slightly different angle, I continued taking pictures. “I might even take some special ones that don’t show your face, but that you can use to show all your followers just how much you love everything that I’ll do to you.” Eli looked guilty for a moment, but I shook my head. “No, Brat. I don’t mind the blog or the venting or sharing. I’m going to love knowing that they can look but not touch.”
The worry faded, but I wanted the passion back. “Do you think they’ll love seeing your hard cock straining against a pair of those tiny panties while that plug sends you right to the edge? You’re going to make Preston insane with how erotic the photos will be.”
Setting the camera down for a moment, I walked up to Eli and ran my hands over the shirt and down to his ass. “I think we need to see more of this luscious bottom. Especially when it looks untouched and so tempting.”
Easing the panties just below the bottom of his cheeks, I let my fingers trace around his hips to his erection. “Yes, this is how my brat needs to look.”
Caressing the head of his dick gently, I let a hand move up under the shirt and plucked at one nipple. “That’s right; show me how good that feels.”
Eli’s head fell back, and he gave a low moan as I let his o
rgasm get closer and closer. When we’d restarted the shoot, I’d started out simple. He’d knelt, looking up at me with that tender, questioning expression, nearly completely covered but looking like the perfect vision of submission.
As our rhythm returned, we’d gradually changed things around until he was back at the window. From the first frame, he’d looked exactly like I’d envisioned. Almost hidden, but displayed erotically…masculine but feminine…he was a mixture of contradictions and the effect was breathtaking.
Stepping back, I let my fingers skim over his body as I moved to grab my camera again. “That’s right. Let me see how needy my brat is.”
Trying to get every angle and flash of desire, I moved around and watched my sexy brat. Kneeling behind him, I captured the line of his leg and ass as it disappeared under the shirt. “Oh, Brat, this one is going to be just for me. Reach back with your right hand and pull that cheek out. I want to see your perfect little hole.”
Eli moaned, but his hand moved to grip his ass and he thrust it out. “Oh yes, just for me, but I might put this one right above my bed. Do you like that, Brat? Do you like the idea that the first thing I’d see in the morning was your needy, tight pucker that ached to be filled?”
“Yes…please…yes…” Eli’s body clenched, and I could see the desire rushing at him. My sexy brat loved being displayed and teased.
Reaching out, I let one finger trail down the split in his ass and over the ring of muscles that was begging for attention. “I’m going to have you like this again, but after you’ve been well fucked and covered in my cum. Then I’ll hang it up beside the other. What do you think? Untouched perfection and debauched perfection side by side.”
Eli was starting to make needy little sounds that were bordering on frantic. “Please. Please. I…Please.”
I let the tip of one finger ease into his body just to watch the desire build. “Please what, Brat? What do you need?”
“Let me come. Please. Let me come. Please.” The desperate words tumbled out husky and low.
“Not yet, Brat. I still have so many pictures to take of you.” Chuckling when he let out a huff of frustration, I gave his ass a pat and stood. “Over to the bed, Brat. We’re going to try something else.”
Leashes & Lace Books 1-3: MM Romance Boxed Set Page 27