“He is? I am?” I sounded like an idiot. “I mean, you think he’s nervous? I know I’m important to him.”
I was just starting to get an idea of how important I was to him.
Eli nodded like it should have been obvious. “Oh yeah, the other day when he invited himself, he was fiddling with your hair and touching you and was shifting from one foot to the other like a kid who needed to pee.”
“Eli.” That was a terrible description.
Wilder was just always careful about pushing me too far. “He just doesn’t want to go too fast.”
Eli rolled his eyes. “Sure.”
Then he started focusing on the clothes again and his eyes lit up. “Roman thought we should do this toward the end of the shoot, but I think it would be perfect now.” Eli pulled out two matching nightgowns. They were sheer with delicate spaghetti straps and had lace around the bottom that made them look feminine and sexy, not just erotic and nearly see-through.
“What did he have in mind?”
Eli’s entire body gave a little wiggle, he was so excited. “Think of it like naughty and nice. We’ll dress you up in one looking all sweet and innocent, and me in the other looking wicked and slutty. It’ll be fun.”
I wasn’t sure if fun was the word I would have used, but it would be striking. And with my nerves still running high, I’d probably come across looking innocent and slightly overwhelmed. Compared to Eli, it would be a stunning photo. “Okay. That’ll look good.”
Taking a deep breath, I took one of the nightgowns from Eli and started to head over toward the dressing area. “Just give me a few minutes. I need to finish getting ready.”
We didn’t exactly wear a lot of makeup in the shoots, because Preston wanted a really natural look, but with the strong lights, unless someone was cover-model hot, makeup helped.
“All right, don’t forget, sweet and sexy.” Eli bounced across the room to drag Roman into his scheme. I just ignored everything and focused on the task in front of me, wishing that I’d prepared Wilder a little bit more.
He’d seen me in similar things and had loved them. I just had to keep reminding myself that.
It was going to be fine.
Chapter 17
Wilder
Lane was nervous and still unsure how I would respond, but he was beautiful. The last of my worries had evaporated as I stood there talking to Roman, and now there was just anticipation and curiosity flooding through me.
I wasn’t exactly sure what he was doing to get ready, but the makeup didn’t surprise me; models wore it all the time. He kept glancing back at me in the mirror, and I couldn’t help but smile. My worrier. I really needed to bring him to work so he could see the kind of people that I met on a daily basis. I had a feeling that would ease some of his fears. The lingerie aside, Lane would never be the most unique person I’d met.
The most special, yes.
The most beautiful, yes.
The most loving, yes.
Eli had come dashing over, waving some kind of nightgown around and saying they needed to do those photos first. He rambled on excitedly, saying something about Lane’s nerves making it perfect, but I didn’t understand.
Roman just nodded and immediately agreed with him, sending Eli back to finish getting ready. Turning to me, Roman finally started to explain. “They’re both going to be wearing the same outfit but we’ll make some minor modifications to make Eli’s more risqué and Lane’s a little bit sweeter so customers on the website can see how it looks in a variety of ways.”
“Ah, I see.” Just the differences in their personalities would make the clothes seem unique. I’d seen enough of the photos online that I could imagine how they would look. It made my fingers itch and I wished I had my notepad and pencils with me.
Next time.
As Eli dragged Lane around the room, Roman started talking about the schedule and just the process in general. He seemed to understand that it was all very new to me and didn’t mind walking me through it. I had a feeling that Eli had given him a firm talking-to about being polite and not scaring me off, because Roman was clearly making an effort.
The guys were almost done getting ready by the time he brought up the photo shoot Eli kept mentioning. “I know Eli’s been driving Lane crazy about the BDSM shoot I want to do with him, but I have to say, the two of you would look incredible in it.”
I wasn’t sure how to respond. Giving him an honest answer felt like it would be oversharing, but glancing between Eli and Lane, I had a feeling there weren’t too many secrets between them—and the chances of Eli keeping something from Roman was almost impossible. “I think the photos would be good, you’re right. But Lane needs more confidence that I’m not going to be scared off with all of this first.” I waved a hand, gesturing around the room. “I’m not going to do anything to push things too fast.”
Roman didn’t seem pleased, but he looked like he understood. “I can’t guarantee Eli will be patient.”
“That would be like trying to hold back the ocean.” Roman barked out a laugh, agreeing with me. “Don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying never. I think they would turn out beautifully.”
They were so clear in my head it was almost distracting. Part of me wanted to see if I could do them from just the image in my mind, but I knew the chances of getting myself right were almost nil. The way I saw myself would never be the way someone else did…and that’s what I would need.
The picture would be how we perceived one another.
My mental wandering and short conversation with Roman had given the guys time to finish getting ready. Even from across the room, I could see that whatever Lane had done with his eyes had given a wide, innocent look to them. Eli evidently agreed they were perfect because he was grinning and bouncing around like a kid in a candy store.
It took me a moment to drag my gaze away from Lane to focus on Eli. Where Lane was wearing some kind of panties under the sheer nightgown that kept his cock tucked up and to the side, Eli was almost naked under his. There was the tiniest pair of panties that covered basically nothing and were a deep red color that stood out under the thin white material.
The contrast was stark, but it was perfect.
“Roman.” Eli called from the platform, striking a sexy pose. “You’re making me wait.”
“Be patient.” Roman rolled his eyes, not especially concerned with giving Eli what he wanted.
Eli huffed, but instead of trying to hurry Roman, he focused his attention on Lane. We watched as Eli made little last-minute tweaks to how the fabric draped across Lane’s body, even reaching under the nightie to adjust his panties.
It was…interesting.
Sexy but not exactly sexual; I wasn’t sure how to categorize it in my head. Eli was a natural flirt who seemed to need to drive everyone around him crazy for some reason, so the nakedness and brazen behavior was par for the course with him. It was what made ignoring his behavior so easy. But watching him touch Lane was different.
“It’ll take some getting used to.” Roman’s low words pushed through to catch my attention.
“That’s what I’m thinking.”
“Eli describes the company as one big incestuous family. Most of them never do anything with each other, but they don’t have the same boundaries that other friends or coworkers do. Some, like Lane, are more cautious and reserved, but Eli has a tendency to keep poking at any preconceived boundaries until they’re gone.” Roman’s gaze volleyed between the two beautiful men and my—hopefully—calm expression.
“Lane told me how much everyone means to him and how this isn’t just a job for him. I’m starting to see what he meant.” I couldn’t see myself in that position, but I wasn’t completely oblivious about how he felt.
I’d never worked anywhere like Leashes and Lace. In my life, a job had always been very separate from family. For Lane and Eli, and I had to assume the rest of the people working there, work and family were all tied together so closely it was impossible to
see where one ended and the other began.
Shapes and images began to form in my head. I could see how they were tied together like a drawing with no ending and no beginning. “Do you have any paper?”
I had to get it down while it was swirling around. “You’re just going to be shooting for a while, right?”
Roman laughed and gave me a knowing look. “Yeah, the rest of the guys will start arriving in a few minutes, but if you can ignore the chaos, they’ll leave you alone.”
That wasn’t what I’d pictured when I’d thought about visiting Lane at work, but I knew he’d understand. “I just need a few minutes to get something down on paper.”
“Sure. Just a second.” Roman wandered over to a desk I hadn’t noticed in the corner and started pulling out paper and pencils.
Lane’s laughter at something Eli said pulled my attention back to him. Happiness radiated from him as the fabric swirled around him with each subtle movement. When I finally noticed Roman standing beside me again, he was just shaking his head. “I’m starting to understand why we drive everyone nuts.”
“Huh?” Not eloquent, but in my defense, my brain was otherwise occupied.
“Never mind.” Roman handed me an oversized clipboard and a stack of papers and pencils that were almost what I had at home. He must have seen my confusion because he shrugged. “The marketing guys use it sometimes when they need more space, and they’re really artistic in that draw-it-out kind of way.”
“Thanks.” As I took the supplies from Roman, he pointed to an overstuffed armchair in the corner.
“That’s probably the most comfortable spot, and you’ll have a good view.” With a nod, he started over to Eli and Lane, barking orders that didn’t make much sense but seemed to have something to do with the lighting because Eli immediately started arguing with him about them.
Lane was my focus, and everything else would just fall away into the background.
As I walked over to the chair, the directions started making more sense. Roman had them moving around as he adjusted the lighting and camera. By the time I was settled, he had the platform draped in fabric and Lane kneeling on it almost innocently with Eli standing by him seductively.
Mumbling to myself, I frantically started trying to catch Lane before he moved. It would have to start out rough, but I knew I could fill in the details over time. I just needed to get the feeling down before I lost it.
Sometimes, I planned out drawings, and sometimes, they seemed to just take shape without me. Lane’s shy but erotically draped form was in the center of the drawing, but I knew he needed something to anchor him. Glancing between the page and back up at Lane as he worked, I knew what it would be.
* * * * *
Time faded away as the picture slowly took shape. Eventually, the bark of Roman’s orders were muted by the sounds of the other models and the rest of their work family that didn’t seem to have a purpose other than support and excitement.
Part of me felt guilty for not introducing myself, but they came and went, watching the piece as it formed and then going back to the work that they were supposed to be doing. Roman was a taxing master and reminded me of an angry conductor who pushed his musicians to be their best.
As each new layer of their family emerged, it took shape on the paper as well. Time seemed to go too fast. Before it was anywhere near complete, they were starting to put the clothes away and dress and I could hear them making plans for later.
Watching them work had been eye-opening. Some could turn the flirting on and off at the will of the lens but others only projected exactly who they were. Shy. Outgoing flirts. The boy next door who just wanted to be accepted in his panties and bra. They were what family was meant to be but never actually was. A mix of everything, that when combined, was perfection.
Lane started out nervous and unsure of how I would feel about this part of his life, but the man who curled up in my lap as the room started to empty was anything but unsure. Lane smiled as I set the clipboard down and wrapped my arms around him.
The lace shirt was molded to his body and the underwear the site described as boy-shorts didn’t hide anything, but he didn’t even seem to notice. “You look like you found something to occupy your time. Do I get to see?”
“Of course.” Pulling him close, I took his mouth in a slow kiss. When I finally pulled away, I smiled. “You were my focus, though. You were amazing to watch. I never realized how many pictures you have to take to get the right one for the site.”
Lane curled into me, a smile on his face. “This one actually went pretty quickly. Sometimes it’s take after take, adjusting small things to get it all perfect.”
“It’ll be worth it, though. You’re going to look amazing.” My smile widened as I remembered some of the clothing that he’d put on and stripped off. My stalker was perfection dressed or naked. “Who do we see about getting some of those red panties?”
Lane laughed and gave me a teasing grin. “The red ones, huh? I thought you’d like them.”
“Oh yes.” I leaned in and took his mouth again in a quick, heated kiss. “I think I need a private showing of those in every color they have.”
Lane started rubbing one hand over my chest as he nodded. “I think that can be arranged, as long as I get to see what you were so frantically working on.”
His smile turned tender, and he glanced at the paper. “I’ve never seen you work like that. It was like demons were chasing after you.”
“You kept moving, and I had to catch just the right moment. It was maddening.” Reaching over to the side table, I frowned at the paper. “It’s not done yet. I’m going to have to come back and watch again, if that’s alright. It’s the only way to finish it.”
Lane nodded like it wouldn’t be a problem, but he was too curious to give me a real answer. His eyes widened as I brought it around and set it on his lap. Having him see it unfinished was incredibly hard, but I just hoped he could see what it would eventually become.
“Oh…Wilder…” He seemed at a loss for words, but I wasn’t sure if that was a good thing or not. Finally, he looked up at me, tears in his eyes. “It’s beautiful.”
“It’s not done, but I think it’ll be perfect when it’s finished.” It had the bones to be something incredible, as long as I could keep the feeling and the integrity of each part.
Lane shook his head. “Baby, even if this is all you ever do of it, it’s absolutely perfect.”
He looked down at the paper like it was a masterpiece in an art gallery, and I tried to see it from his point of view. Lane was kneeling in the center of the page, anchored down by two strong arms that came up from the clouds below him. The tattooed arms kept him steady as the people around him took shape from the clouds. Eli danced beside him in his matching outfit, seductive laughter on his face.
They were the most completed figures, but I’d managed to fit in the rest of his family around him. Shy, sweet young guys who hid in the corners of the page. Firm, strong men who had a don’t-fuck-with-me look as they dressed in sexy lingerie stood guard over the half-hidden forms who weren’t ready to come out and dance across the page like Eli was.
“Wilder, you just don’t understand. This is beautiful. They’re all here.”
“Most of them. I have space for more over here and I know I probably didn’t catch everyone, but it’s coming along.” Figures wrapped around each other and took shape on the page. Eventually, they would be intertwined until it would be almost impossible to pick out one alone. They were meant to be together, not separate.
Lane’s finger hovered over the paper, tracing lines just above it. “It’s going to be like your tattoo. I can already see the words. That’s what I couldn’t figure out.”
He looked up and smiled, his hand moving to my chest instead of the page. “They’re words, aren’t they?”
I nodded and leaned in to kiss him again. “They’re things that make me strong and happy, pieces of my past and things that I want to happen in the fu
ture.”
When I’d designed the tattoo, I’d wanted something completely different. After months of doodling and playing around with different options, I’d finally figured out what I’d needed. No one thing would encompass everything I wanted the design to say, so I hadn’t tried to force it. The intricate lines and swirls that wrapped their way across my chest were my life in words and pictures.
One day, Lane would be added. Maybe a name…maybe the swirl of fabric through the lines that were already there to show how he’d wrapped his way through my life. His shy presence and hidden desires had worked their way through my heart and had made a mark on me that would never fade.
Lane opened and closed his mouth several times, but the words didn’t seem to want to come out. Finally, he shook his head and gave me a tender kiss. “That’s beautiful, Wilder.”
“No, what’s going to be beautiful is when I get you added to it as well. You, my love—my sweet, sexy stalker—make me happier than I’ve ever envisioned and stronger than I ever thought possible.” Tears welled up in his eyes, and I leaned close to press my lips to his again. “I love you and nothing will change that.”
A tear slipped down his cheek and he leaned in to kiss me. As he pulled back, his hand came up to cup my face. “I was pulled toward you from the first moment I saw you. Something about you made it impossible to walk away. I kept telling myself it was ridiculous to obsess over someone who could never understand what makes me…me.”
He shrugged like he still couldn’t understand it. “I couldn’t be more thankful that I was wrong. I love you, Wilder. The sweet man who sketches children’s books. The sexy tattoo artist that pulls every eye to him as he walks in the room. The loving man who patiently worked his way into my heart. They’re all pieces of the perfect man I’ve fallen head over heels for, and I can’t imagine my life without you in it.”
Staring into his eyes, my heart clenched, and I tightened my arms around him. “You don’t have to, my love. I’m not going anywhere. You’ve tattooed your way into my heart, and I’m going to do everything in my power to keep you with me forever.”
Leashes & Lace Books 1-3: MM Romance Boxed Set Page 50