by Morgan James
I hung my ahead, ashamed. “Because she can.”
He eyed me for a long moment. “What is she holding over you?”
I took a deep breath. “She loaned me the capital to open the salon. I didn’t want to lease the building, and I managed to negotiate a good deal to buy it right after the recession. But...” I blew out a breath. “I needed twenty percent down, and I didn’t have it. There was no way I could’ve afforded it otherwise, and...”
Xander spoke up as I trailed off. “She offered up the money.”
I nodded at the rhetorical statement. Jolene never failed to throw that back at me anytime she wanted something. “You have to give to get,” my mother had remarked more than once. It gave her free rein to demand whatever she wanted, whenever she wanted, and expect me to jump at her whim.
“I should have known,” I continued. “Maybe I did. I set up a payment schedule so I could pay her off a little bit at a time as I started making money.”
“What do you owe her?” His brows drew together.
I shifted on my feet. “A little over fifteen thousand.”
“I’ll take care of it.”
My eyes widened. “No.” I held up my hands. “No way.”
There was no way I’d ever let him offer up money. That would be like jumping out of the frying pan and into a freaking volcano. I didn’t want to owe this man anything. There was already so much between us, I didn’t need to muddy the waters more than they already were.
Xander reached out and grasped my hands. “As long as you owe her, she’ll control you.”
She would always control me; that would never change. I’d made a deal with the devil just by accepting the money from her in the first place. Now she would forever be able to tell me that I owed her because she’d funded my salon. I needed to break free, but I couldn’t. Not yet.
I shook my head and tried to pull away, but he held me firmly in his grasp. “I can’t take your money.”
Xander squeezed my hands. “You will.”
“Please don’t.” My gaze skittered away, focusing on the wall behind him. “I don’t want to fight.”
“Lydia...” Xander trailed off, then drew in a deep breath. His thumb rubbed small circles over the inside of my wrist, right at the pulse point. “I’m not trying to fight with you. I want to do this for you.”
“Why?”
“Because it’s the right thing to do.”
Blue eyes stared into mine, and my breath caught. His words from just a few moments ago rose up in front of me. You do something nice for someone because you care—not so you can manipulate them. Did that mean he cared about me? No, he couldn’t possibly. He was only offering because I was the mother of his child. Shaking the stupid thought from my head, I refocused on the situation at hand. “I won’t take money from you.”
“Then don’t. We’ll make it a business arrangement.” I barely refrained from rolling my eyes. Yeah, because that had worked out so well for me in the past. I was already shaking my head when he continued. “Here’s what’s going to happen. I’m going to give you the money to pay your mother back. I opened an account in Alexia’s name at the bank. Each month, I want two hundred dollars deposited into an account until you pay off the original amount.”
I felt my mouth fall open. Was he serious? He wasn’t even getting the money back. “But—”
He placed one finger over my lips, silencing my protest. He shot a look toward the living room where Alexia played quietly. Cerulean eyes cut back to mine. “Let me do this. I missed so much with her, and I want to make sure she’s taken care of.”
Tears burned my eyes and clogged my throat. Unable to speak, I just nodded. How could I say no to that?
Sensing my unease, Xander dropped his hand away and changed the subject. “So. Why does she hate this place so much?”
I let out a soft, unladylike snort. “Probably because it’s not the half-million-dollar home that my ex had picked out.” That seemed like so long ago now. He lifted a brow, and I continued. “My ex—Shawn—”
“The one who ended up with your best friend?”
My gaze jumped to him, startled. “You remember that?”
Cerulean eyes bore into mine. “I remember everything about you, Lydia.”
Heat licked over my flesh at his statement. The words were so simple, yet there was a wealth of information lying just beneath the surface. I barely repressed a shiver as his gaze skimmed over me like a lover’s caress. I couldn’t lie—I still remembered the feel of his hands on my body, the way he touched me, demanding and impatient and tender all at once.
I cleared my throat. “Shawn was—is—a lawyer. That’s how he and my mom met,” I clarified at Xander’s questioning glance. “He was one of the lawyers who presided over her divorce when she left husband number two.”
His brow scrunched. “How many times has she been married?”
“Three.”
He let out a little laugh rife with disbelief. “Jesus. She might want to make friends with the lawyer.”
“Husband number three was the lawyer,” I deadpanned.
A smile cracked Xander’s face and he shook his head. “Unreal. Anyway, go on.”
“Right.” I took a deep breath. “So, Shawn made a good living and he’d bought this huge house for us when we got engaged. I never lived there—he moved Jessica in after...” I waved a hand, not wanting to think about it. It’d been two years, but the hurt was still there, just beneath the surface.
“After I got home from Vegas, I started looking for a place to live. You remember my neighbor Darlene from yesterday.” Xander nodded. “Well, I met her at the salon about a year ago when her daughter got married. I was pregnant”—his eyes darkened a bit at the mention of my pregnancy—“and needed a place to live. She and her husband, George, own this duplex. She convinced me to come look at it, and I fell in love with it.”
As I spoke, Xander cracked open one of the takeout containers. “She said she’d rather rent it to me than anyone else. Besides, her daughter and son-in-law were moving to Oklahoma to follow his job.” I opened the cupboard behind me and passed him a plate. “She and George helped me out a lot, moving furniture and stuff.”
Xander piled food onto the plate, then passed it back to me with a nod, indicating I should eat it. I handed out another plate, then slid a fork over to him. “When Alexia came along, she kind of became a surrogate grandmother.”
He paused in the act of scooping rice out of a container and met my eyes. “I’m glad you had someone you could count on.”
His words hit me like a blow to the chest, and guilt immediately assailed me. “Xander, that’s not—”
He held up one hand and gave a curt shake of his head. “It’s fine. And I mean that—I’m glad you have people here who care about you and Alexia.”
I nodded, then silently dug in to the plate he’d thoughtfully prepared for me. Over the next hour we made small talk, sharing laughs and swapping stories until I glanced at the clock on the far wall.
“Oh, wow. I didn’t realize how late it was.”
Xander pushed up from the couch. “Guess I should get going.”
The words sent a little pang of disappointment through me. I’d actually been enjoying myself for the first time in a long while, and I was kind of sad that it was over. We weren’t perfect, but we’d come to a kind of understanding at some point during the evening.
Scooping Alexia up, I propped her on my hip and followed him to the front door. “Will you be stopping by tomorrow?”
I prayed he wouldn’t hear the faint breathlessness of my voice, as if my reaction hinged completely on his response. He met my gaze and studied me for a long moment before giving a slight nod. “Same time okay?”
I swallowed hard, my throat suddenly dry. “Sounds good.”
Xander stood in the doorway, illuminated by the glow of streetlights behind him. He bent and pressed a kiss to Alexia’s downy head. “Good night, sweet girl.”
He li
fted his gaze to me, those liquid blue eyes sending a spark of warmth through me. Silence, thick with anticipation, fell between us, and my heart raced. Was he going to kiss me, too? Finally he dipped his chin at me. “Night, Liddy.”
My heart dropped to my toes, and I couldn’t squelch the disappointment that assailed me. He wasn’t going to kiss me after all.
Not bothering to correct him, I swallowed over the lump in my throat, my voice raspy. “Night.”
Closing the door, I fought against the tears burning the backs of my eyelids. It was irrational, but I couldn’t help it. Part of me wanted him to kiss me as he had years ago. I should be happy that he hadn’t. Xander had been true to his word, spending time with Alexia, trying to get to know her and be part of her life. Yet, after spending time with him tonight, it seemed as if time had slipped away. I felt... something between us. Did he not feel the same?
Of course he didn’t. Pushing down my insecurities, I shoved the thought away. I didn’t need any more complications in my life.
Chapter Twenty-Four
Xander
I spent the morning chasing down leads and interviewing Oliver Eldredge’s friends and employees, and even some customers. A lot of the people I’d spoken with said that he was honest and affable; a handful of others, however, didn’t share the same opinion. Several people who had purchased items from Eldredge said he was conceited and supercilious and had swindled them out of their money. It was no secret that Eldredge placed a premium price on his items, but I couldn’t say I blamed the man for trying to make a living.
From the employee directory we’d gotten from the PD, I tracked down one of his employees, a young woman named Mary Beth. She’d reluctantly admitted that Eldredge was an asshole but that he paid her well, and she’d never seen anything suspicious. She worked in the shop full-time and was going to school for art history. She hadn’t seen the painting and had no knowledge of the statue that was still missing. I’d thanked her and left empty-handed with no leads.
Mickelson hadn’t been able to secure an invitation for this week’s auction, so we were currently at a standstill on the tech side. Jason was still working his magic in the hopes of hacking in, but last I heard, he was having a bitch of a time.
The officers in the precinct had checked pawn shops around the city to see if any of the fenced items had popped up, but so far there’d been nothing. It sucked that we had to wait another week for more information, but hopefully we would be better prepared and get a better handle on it. The biggest problem was that we had no idea where to begin. With the items being auctioned off potentially all over the world, it was damn near impossible to find them.
It’d been tedious and frustrating, and all I wanted to do right now was relax and see Alexia—and Lydia. I strode up to Lydia’s front door and rang the bell. She met me only seconds later, Alexia propped on her hip, cooing happily. Her gaze turned solemn when she saw me, though, and I pasted on a smile, ignoring the pang in the region of my heart.
Over the past few days, I’d stopped at Lydia’s house after work, spending an hour or so with them each night before bedtime. Alexia was beginning to relax around me a bit, but she hadn’t fully adjusted to my presence. Lydia’s admission the other day filled me with a protectiveness I’d never felt. She’d admitted that Alexia wasn’t comfortable around men, not used to them. She couldn’t know it, but I was fucking ecstatic at that little tidbit. That meant there hadn’t been many—if any—men in her life since she’d had the baby almost a year ago.
Despite everything that had happened, Lydia was mine, damn it. She still had a slightly guarded look about her, but she, too, had begun to relax in my presence. I moved my gaze from Alexia up to Lydia. “Hey.”
“Hey.” She smiled and held the door for me, her eyes dropping to the box tucked under my arm. “What’s that?”
“Just a little something for Alexia.” I stepped inside and toed my boots off while Lydia locked up behind me. Turning back to Alexia, I held up the box. “Brought you a present, baby girl.”
She examined it, her big gray eyes curious but unsure. Lydia’s voice made up for Alexia’s lack of enthusiasm. “Come on, sweet pea. Let’s go see what Daddy brought you.”
Following them down the hall toward the living room, I let that word sink in. God, that sounded good. Lydia settled cross-legged on the floor, situating Alexia in her lap, and I knelt next to them. Placing the box on the floor between us, I gestured to it. “Want to open it?”
Alexia craned her neck, turning to Lydia as if asking permission, and Lydia laughed. “Go ahead, open it.”
Lydia slipped one lean finger under the seam and tugged gently. Enraptured by the ripping sound of the paper, Alexia turned wide eyes on the present in front of her. She let out an excited squeal as she tore one long strip of paper off and held it up in victory.
I laughed and settled on my side, content to watch her. Finally we got the box open and Lydia retrieved the fluffy pink bear inside. Alexia took one look at the bear, then went right back to the strips of paper littering the ground. Picking them up, she let them flutter down like confetti, her laugh infectious.
I turned to Lydia, taking in the smile on her face, unable to stop the grin covering mine. “I think she likes the wrapping paper better than the bear,” I said wryly.
She let out a tinkling laugh. “Don’t be offended. I bought her a doll a couple months ago, thinking she’d love to have a baby. I took the doll out of the box, and, yeah...” She rolled her eyes and lifted her hands in a shrugging motion. “Alexia tossed the doll aside to play with the box for half an hour.”
Alexia turned toward me as I let out a loud laugh. This time, though, it didn’t seem to scare her. She examined my face intently, then seemed to relax when she saw that I was happy. I watched as she pushed up from Lydia’s lap and made her way to her toybox. She dug around for a minute, then brought me a soft gray elephant. She held it out, and I slipped it from her fingers. “Is this for me?”
She nodded solemnly, then plopped down next to me and picked up the pink bear I’d brought. Moving the bear around, she chattered happily in her high-pitched voice, the words slurred and unclear. I lifted my gaze back to Lydia. “Does she talk much?”
She shook her head. “A few words here and there. Pediatrician says it’s normal.”
I nodded. I hadn’t spent any time around little kids, so I took her word for it. Dropping the bear to the floor, Alexia jumped back up and made a beeline for her toys. I watched as she lugged a drawstring bag over to me. She pointed to the strings, indicating I should open it.
“You want this open?” She nodded and pulled at the strings but couldn’t figure out how to open it. “Here, sweet girl, let me help.”
Working the strings loose, I watched as she upended the bag and dumped dozens of colorful blocks on the floor. She picked up a bright pink one and held it up to me, then reached for another. With each block I stacked, she handed me another. Soon we had a good-sized tower going that was taller than Alexia.
I threw a grin at Lydia. “Want to help?”
She let out a throaty little laugh that wrapped around my heart. “Hey, you’re the one who said you liked to build things.”
“Oh, come on.” I lifted an eyebrow in challenge, and she just shook her head with a tiny smile, holding her hands up in front of her.
“No way, I’m staying out of the destruction zone.”
Before I could process her words, blocks showered down around me as Alexia smashed her tower, demolishing it into a pile of rainbow-colored block rubble.
I let out a gasp of mock outrage and turned my gaze on Alexia, who stared back at me expectantly. “Oh, you think that’s funny?”
She let out a tiny giggle, and I reared up on my hands and knees, slowly stalking toward her. She laughed as I neared, pushing to her feet and running in a wide arc away from me. I collapsed to the floor, playing dead, and waited a long moment with my eyes closed. I could hear the tiny patter of her footsteps as sh
e got closer, and she let out a little shriek as I opened my eyes and reached for her, drawing her into my arms. A deep belly laugh filled the air as I tickled her tummy, her arms and legs flailing with delight. Just as quickly as it started, Alexia rolled from my grasp and held up a tiny hand in my direction.
“No!”
“No?” I asked.
“No.” She crossed her arms over her middle and shook her head emphatically.
Biting back my smile, I pretended to think for a moment. “Well, then...” Out of the corner of my eyes, I spied Lydia sitting within arm’s reach. Faster than a snake striking, I snatched her ankle and yanked her closer to me. Lydia let out a gasp, then dissolved into giggles as my fingers danced over her ribs, tickling her.
Alexia laughed along as shrieks for mercy interspersed with peals of laughter fell from Lydia’s lips. It was such a welcome sound that I couldn’t help the smile from forming on my face. I wondered when she’d last allowed herself to really have fun. Using my body to press her into the floor, I moved more fully over top of her, still tickling her. Her chest heaved as she drew in deep, gasping breaths, and I smoothed my hand down her side. Her humor quickly fled as she took in our precarious position, and those gorgeous eyes met mine.
Only inches away, I could have dipped my head and pressed my lips to hers. I wanted to. God, how I wanted to. But not here, and not like this. Without breaking eye contact, I slowly lifted my body away from hers and sat back on my heels. I offered a hand, and she slipped a trembling palm into mine so I could pull her to a sitting position.
Pushing to her feet, she murmured an excuse about getting dinner started and slunk off to the kitchen. I watched her go, my eyes glued to the slight sway of her hips as she put distance between us. I watched her surreptitiously from the corners of my eyes, rewarded when I saw her peek over at me a couple times. It sent a tendril of hope curling through me.
I wanted her to look at me with something other than wariness. I wanted her to look at me with longing and desire and lust—the way she had a few minutes ago. I wanted everything from her, and I was determined to get it.