by LM DeWalt
“What are you talking about?”
“Not that I believe he would do that, at least not by choice, but it is possible. A vampire can renounce the connection, the feelings, and the loyalty he feels to his maker. As long as it’s what he truly wants and he truly believes in it, it can be done.” She bit her bottom lip, most likely nervous I would lose my temper. Instead, I sat quiet for a moment, letting the information sink in.
Aloysius sat as if he were a statue, barely blinking, his chest and shoulders still. Fiore fidgeted, playing with the flaring sleeves of her sweater, crossing and uncrossing her legs.
“No,” I said and stood, taking another tissue out of the box and rubbing my cheeks almost raw with it. “I don’t believe that. He would never do that to me. I’m going to look for him.” I turned and went to the door, slamming it behind me.
“Good evening, Miss Lily,” Pepe greeted as he tried to run past me to open the front door before I could reach it. “Will you be needing a taxi?”
“No, Pepe, thank you,” I smiled at him as he held the door open. There was no need to scare him. He was just doing his job. “Oh, by the way, did you see my husband leave?”
“Yes. I was already on duty both times,” he answered.
“What do you mean, both times?”
“He left and did not want a taxi. He walked that way, I think,” Pepe pointed up the street to the left. “He was gone for about…I don’t know…a half of an hour and then he came back.”
“Was he alone when he came back?”
“Yes, Miss Lily. I thought it was strange because he did not take the elevator. He went up the stairs instead. He was only up there for a few minutes and when he came back, he hailed a taxi himself, even though I could have done it for him.”
“I see. Thank you, Pepe.” I left him standing on the sidewalk as I crossed the street and walked to the left. No, I really didn’t see. I didn’t get it at all. Why would he leave, return and leave again so quickly, and then leave again in a taxi? And how did Fiore and Aloysius not know he had come home and then left again? I decided that didn’t matter right now. Looking for Christian was all I wanted to do, whether or not I felt him anymore did not matter one bit.
My legs pumped as though they moved of their own free will. I had no idea where I was going or why. Christian didn’t want to be found. He renounced me and I had no idea why. I had no idea what I was looking for. He’d been gone for hours, could be anywhere by now. Regardless, I kept running until I was in sight of the park. I slowed my pace so as not to scare anyone.
“Lily, wait up,” someone yelled from behind me. My stomach did a somersault until I realized it was not Christian’s voice. I stopped and spun on my heels.
“Mateo, what are you doing here?” He stopped just two feet in front of me, his sunken eyes focused on my face. His breathing came fast and ragged, as if he had run for miles.
“What are you doing here? Where is Christian?” He bent over slightly, his hand pinching his side.
“Christian is gone. I’m looking for him.”
“What do you mean gone?” He straightened, catching his breath just a bit.
“I mean gone, as in disappeared, left, renounced me as his maker and wife, I guess.” The bitterness in my voice surprised him and he took a sharp breath.
“That’s impossible,” he reached for my hand and led me to an empty bench. “Sorry, I need to sit for a minute. I’ve been running behind you since you left the apartment.”
“It’s not impossible, apparently. He must have done it because I don’t feel him at all.” I bit back the tears by clenching my lips. Anger was more useful to me than tears.
“That man loved you more than anything in this world. That was easy to see,” he squeezed my hand. “Something must have happened.”
“Something like what? He left. Just left. There was nothing we couldn’t accomplish together. Why do this now?” I yanked my hand out of his and stood. Sitting here was just wasting precious time I didn’t have.
Mateo stood with me but said nothing. He had no ideas, no answers. It wasn’t until that moment that I noticed how bad he looked. My anger had consumed me so much that I had paid no attention to his appearance.
“Mariana hasn’t returned, has she?” I turned to face him. He swayed in the breeze. If the wind gusted, he would be blown over.
“No. But that’s not important right now. We have two people to find. Come on, I’ll help you look for Christian.” He nodded toward the road leading to the beach. I started walking that way with Mateo by my side.
“It is important. You look like you’re going to fall over any minute. You won’t be much help to anybody this way,” I hoped that didn’t sound like blame.
“I know I need to exchange blood soon, but I’m ok for now. I ate a huge dinner. That should hold me over for a while,” he quickened his pace. “I know when I need to think I go down to the beach. It’s such a solitary and tranquil place at night. Maybe he went there.”
“Why were you following me, anyway?” I asked as we walked down the cobblestone street.
“I was on my way to your apartment and I saw you.”
“Do you have something on Jose Luis?” It was the first time I thought about him since Christian disappeared. Guilt rose like a lump in my throat.
“We did receive a few calls since the segment aired on the news, but nothing promising. One guy said he has him and wants money for him, a million dollars, in fact,” he laughed. “The guy sounded like he was in his nineties and lives in Puno, or so he says.”
I had to laugh at that one too. “And the other calls?”
“One spoke a language we couldn’t identify though we did record the call. The interpreters finally deduced it was nothing but made-up gibberish. The last caller hung up as soon as we started asking personal questions about him. We do know one thing for sure though,” he stopped walking.
“What?” I swallowed the lump.
“There were no signs of a struggle at all in his room. The only prints there match his and the nurses taking care of him for the last day or so of his stay.”
“So he did leave on his own?”
“Lily, all the signs point in that direction but I’m still not one hundred percent convinced. The chief wants to halt the investigation.” He searched my face.
“What? That’s ridiculous. He’ll die if we don’t find him. What part of that do they not understand?” My fingernails dug into my palms.
“I didn’t say I was giving up. I still want to help. We will keep looking for him. I promise. But…” He took a couple steps backward, away from me.
“But what? How can there possibly be a ‘but’ in this situation?” I yelled.
“To find Jose Luis, we are going to need to focus all our energy and resources on him. We can’t do that if we’re looking for Christian too.”
I stepped toward him and grabbed a fistful of his tee-shirt. His eyes widened with fear. “Have you lost your mind? Stop looking for my husband? Never!”
“Lily, please calm down and… Could you please put me down?” his eyes, though wide, looked somewhat amused. When I looked down, I realized his feet were about seven inches from the ground.
“Oh, sorry,” I lowered my arms and he touched the ground, but I didn’t let go of his shirt. “I can’t stop looking for my husband. Something happened to him. He didn’t do this on his own. I’m sure of it.” My anger changed to despair and the tears let loose. His eyes widened even more and all the color in his face drained. I let go of his shirt and turned away, trying not to scare him. “I can’t lose him too.”
“I know how much you love him. Unfortunately, he doesn’t want to be found right now. Jose Luis needs you. He’s more urgent right now. He’s sick, remember?”
I struggled to hear the question, his voice trailing off. I turned just in time to see him stagger backward and fall against a tree, holding his arm out to steady himself but missing the trunk. He fell flat on his back.
“M
ateo!” I ran to his side and dropped onto my knees. “Mateo, are you okay?”
“I…” He tried to lift his head but couldn’t. “The whole world is spinning. I need…” His eyes closed and his head rolled to the side.
TWENTY
Aloysius, Fiore, open the door. I thought as I entered the elevator with a limp Mateo in my arms. As the elevator climbed, I looked at his face. His face took on wrinkles around the eyes reminding me of spider legs, his hair grey at his temples. As we suspected, the aging process was speeded. If he didn’t exchange blood soon, who knew how long he would last?
The elevator doors opened and I rushed down the hall. Margarita stood from her seat at the door of the apartment and rushed to meet me. “What happened?”
“He needs blood. Hurry, open the door,” was all I could say. I didn’t know if Margarita knew Mateo was half vampire but it was not important, not to her anyway.
“Here, give him to me, Lily,” Aloysius said as he took Mateo from my arms and rushed toward the stairs. “I will put him in your room. Lucia and the children are asleep but no need to scare them.”
Fiore rushed ahead of us and threw the bedroom door open. She ran to the bed and pulled the blankets down.
“Mariana has not made an appearance, I take it?” Aloysius asked as he set Mateo down, placing his head on Christian’s pillow.
“No. What do we do now?” I stood at the foot of the bed looking at the awkward scene in front of me. Fiore pulled the blankets up over Mateo, who occupied the spot on the bed that belonged to my husband. My stomach knotted painfully.
“The only thing we can do,” Aloysius answered.
“No,” I gasped. “He isn’t ours to claim.”
“We have to do something or he’ll die,” Fiore moved Mateo’s head from side to side with her fingers, examining his face. “He’s aging already, and very fast.”
“Mariana did this to him. He’s her responsibility,” I argued.
“So we watch him die?” Aloysius came to my side and placed a gentle hand on my shoulder. “Can you live with that, Lily?”
I swallowed the lump in my throat and thought about Christian. What would he want to do?
“Lily, dear,” Aloysius took my face in his hands and turned it toward him, his eyes intent yet comforting. “Christian is gone right now. He can’t decide for you. You have to decide whether you can allow Mateo to die or save him.”
“You can’t possibly be asking me to turn him,” Tears streaked down my cheeks before I could bite down and stop them. “He would be attached to me then. I can’t do that, not to Christian.”
Fiore came to stand beside him. “Maybe there’s another way.”
“What do you mean?” Aloysius looked at her, his hands stopping the tears from reaching my chin.
“What if there’s just an exchange? That would get him back to normal for a while, I think, and then he can decide what he wants.” She looked at Aloysius. His face brightened.
“You may be right. Maybe that would work and we don’t have to do the extreme. I can do it if you want, Lily.”
“No. He’s Mariana’s responsibility but I was with him when this happened. I’m the one he knows best. He’s been trying to help us all along and it’s the least I can do to repay him,” I said. Aloysius dropped his hands from my face.
“Are you sure you feel up to it?” Fiore asked as she stroked my back.
I nodded. “But, will he have an attachment to me from that?”
“I think he will but it should be temporary. The attachment will be broken when he is turned completely or when Mariana exchanges blood with him again, whichever comes first,” Aloysius explained.
“Just be careful not to take too much from him. He’s weakened already,” Fiore warned as she led Aloysius out of the room by the hand. “We’ll be right outside if you need us.”
Instead of sitting on Christian’s side of the bed, I walked to my side and climbed up next to Mateo. He looked lifeless laying there, the covers tucked under his chin as Fiore left them. His heart beat weakly, barely audible, his eyes till tightly shut.
How could I do this to Christian? How could I allow another man to become attached to me, even if it was for the sole purpose of saving his life? Did Mateo even want to live without Mariana? It didn’t matter. I had to do it, if not for him, then for me. He was the only connection I had to my past, a past where the sun rose and set around my loving parents. A past where my only care was what my next story would be about and what Elizabeth would think of it. A past Ian took from me when he brought me into his life of hell and somehow, in some crazy way, Ian keeps taking away my future too.
Christian, I’m sorry but I have to do this. I can’t let Mateo die like this. The thought of Christian brought the lump back to my throat and I wanted more than anything to run out of the room and into the ocean. I wanted to drown out the nightmare my existence had become. Mateo stirred and brought me back to reality. His eyes still shut, he pushed the covers down a little and then his hands fell back down as if they were too heavy for him. I had no choice.
Cradling the top of his head in my hand, I turned his head just enough to bare his neck. Sweat beaded on his jawline but his skin felt cold under my fingers. I leaned down and inhaled his aroma, my eyes closed, my fangs lengthening on their own. I sank my teeth into his tender flesh and he moaned. I stopped just long enough to look at him but he eyes remained closed. His sweet blood filled my mouth completely before I swallowed, heat coating my throat. Images of his past floated past my eyes, a dog running and jumping to catch a Frisbee, Elizabeth grinning at him from across the room, batting her eye lashes when he turned as he felt her stare. I walked down the street, my arms full of old musty books, turning into the corner drugstore. Mariana screaming at him, tears in his eyes, contempt in hers. When the drum of his heart slowed in my ears, I pulled away and wiped my mouth with my sleeve. His eyes were still closed, his breathing more shallow.
With my fangs still protruding, I brought my wrist to my lips and punctured it. I cradled the back of his head so he wouldn’t be lying flat and brought my bloody wrist to his mouth.
“Drink, please, Mateo,” I coaxed. I had no idea if he heard me or if the blood itself awakened something in him but he clenched his mouth around the punctures. He brought one hand up to hold my wrist in place as his mouth eagerly slurped what I offered. I closed my eyes and pictured Christian, hoping his image would lessen the guilt I felt, if I could imagine it was him instead. The drum of his heart, stronger and faster with every sip, told me he’d had enough.
“That’s enough now, Mateo.”
His hand clamped tighter around my arm, keeping his mouth in place, his tongue working to get every possible drop.
“That is enough, Mateo,” He did not stop. “Enough!”
He grabbed my arm with two strong hands, forcing me to pry them off. I jumped off the bed as his eyes opened.
“Mariana?” he whispered. “I knew you’d come back.”
“It’s not Mariana,” I answered, keeping my distance. “It’s Lily.”
He sat up so fast his movement was a blur. Looking around the room, he tried to focus his eyes. Though his hair was cut close to his scalp, it still managed to stick up.
“How are you feeling?” I moved a few steps closer to the bed, not sure if he was going to attack or pass out.
“Ok, I think. What happened?” He looked around the room again. His eyes settled on the wedding picture on the dresser. “Why am I in your room?”
“You passed out on me when we were talking. I carried you back here.” I let that sink in a moment. He turned back to me.
“I wouldn’t have survived it, would I?” he ran his fingers through his hair. “No, don’t answer that. I already know. She didn’t come back.”
“I’m sorry but no. I didn’t know what else to do so I…”
“Please, come sit down. I won’t bite, I promise.” He patted the mattress.
I did as he asked, my feet still on
the floor. “I gave you my blood.”
“I know. I can feel it. I can feel you…in here.” He brought a hand to his chest.
“It’s only temporary, until she comes back. Then you will be hers again. I mean…” I froze.
“I know what you mean. You are not cheating on Christian, if that’s what you’re thinking,” he moved closer to me. “You did it to save my life, though I wish you hadn’t.”
“What?” I jumped up as he was trying to push the blankets off his legs. “What the hell are you saying? That I did this for nothing?”
“In a way, I guess,” He stood and came toward me. “Even though I don’t feel her in here right now,” He pounded his fist to his chest. “I love her. I don’t want to be without her.”
“You just may have to be. Get used to that idea.”
“Really? Like you and Christian? He chose to renounce you or did you forget?” he tried to take my hands but I spun and walked away.
“How dare you compare Christian with Mariana? Christian is my husband. Christian—“
“Lily, please. That’s not what I’m trying to do at all. I just want you to start thinking about the fact that Christian does not want to be found and he may never be coming back,” he said almost in a whisper.
“I can’t do that, Mateo. I refuse. His disappearance makes no sense. We fought so hard to be together, to stay together. Why would he walk away when we finally are together? Why would he leave Jose Luis and Leilani?” I backed toward the door.
He shook his head and his eyes softened. “I don’t know, Lily.”
“He told me he’d love me forever, spend eternity with me.” My voice cracked.
“I don’t know but Mariana said the same things to me. She made the same promises and she didn’t keep them either,” he reached for my arm to keep me in the room. I batted his hand away, making him stagger a few steps.
“You know what, Mateo?” I barked through gritted teeth.