“Alright, I don’t need you two clowns ganging up on me this morning. I’m nervous as it is.” She glanced out the back window. “It’s clear,” she said without even realizing what she’d done.
“Nervous, why are you nervous?” Elsie asked.
“I don’t know, I may have given Clifford the wrong idea.”
“What did you do, tell him to sell his house and move in with you?” Verde teased.
“No, she told him to wear socks with his sandals,” Elsie added and the two of them roared.
Mary remained stoic. “Stop it, you two. I’m serious! I don’t want him to get overly dependent on me. I may have over committed myself.”
“You are just picking him up and taking him home,” Verde said glancing in the rear view mirror. She started to snicker. “That didn’t exactly sound the way I meant it to. Picking him up and taking him home; get it?”
Elsie broke into a fit of laughter and Verde joined her. Mary held her serious demeanor. They settled down quickly.
“You are making too big of a deal out of this, Mary. It’s just a nice gesture to be there and make sure he gets a ride home,” Verde said.
“I told him I would stay with him until Liz came back this evening. I haven’t even been to the man’s house, yet.”
“Wait a minute. I thought you were going to lunch with us!” Elsie complained.
“I can’t just drop him off and expect him to fend for himself,” Mary explained.
“Is that what the bag is for?” Verde asked.
“I threw a few things together so I could set him up with a couple of good meals.”
“Well, that’s nice,” Verde said.
“But, I thought we were all getting together today for lunch, Mary!” Elsie whined.
“Clifford will appreciate Mary staying with him this afternoon,” Verde replied.
“But the three of us were supposed to go to Mac’s today,” she continued to complain.
“Mary needs to do this for Clifford, Elsie!” Verde insisted.
“Do I?” Mary asked.
“Yes, you do!” Verde commanded. Elsie stared straight ahead without saying anything.
“Why are you doubting yourself Mary? Clifford is a nice man and you enjoy his company. He could certainly use your company this afternoon! So, what’s the problem?”
“The problem is that the three of us made plans to have lunch together today!”
“Oh, hush up Elsie!” Verde said.
Elsie gasped. Mary didn’t react to Verde’s aggressive remark.
“I don’t know. Clifford started talking about Jesus telling him to marry me. Can you imagine me getting married at this age?”
“NO!” Elsie said.
“YES!” Verde said at the same time.
Verde shot Elsie a look and she gasped again. Elsie shifted in her seat and gazed out the window.
“Mary, give the man a chance,” Verde continued.
“A chance? He wants more than a chance. He’s already made that clear. He’s talking about marriage and for God’s sakes, Jesus is involved. I think?”
“You don’t want to get married!” Elsie said.
“She doesn’t have a choice if Jesus is involved,” Verde responded.
“She’s just going to end up like us! She’ll have a man clinging to her. She’ll have to find excuses to get out of the house. Just look at how he’s already spoiled my day,” Elsie complained.
“Is that so?” Verde asked. “What am I? I’m not good enough for you? Does Mary have to be with us for you to enjoy my company?”
“It sure feels that way at the moment,” Elsie mumbled.
“Oh now, you two just stop!” Mary said. “You’re both good friends. I’m sure Elsie didn’t mean anything by that, Verde. I’m flattered that you want me to come to lunch, Elsie.”
“Thank you, Mary,” Elsie said.
“But I do understand why Verde spoke out, Elsie. It didn’t sound right!” Mary stated.
“I’m sorry, Verde,” Elsie conceded.
“Oh, don’t worry about it,” Verde said. “You’re so worried that you might lose Mary as a friend that you weren’t thinking about me.” It was quiet for a moment before Verde added, “Besides, Clifford is a sports buff too. Mary will still have to get out of his house on the same days as we do.”
“I suppose so—”Elsie agreed.
“Slow down you two! I’m not even in his house,” Mary insisted.
“You might as well be,” Verde said, “once you play nurse for him, it’s all over. He absolutely has to propose. I wouldn’t be surprised if he’s already thinking about what type of ring he will pick out for you.”
“That is exactly what I am talking about! Lord, I am too old for all of this nonsense!” Mary said.
“Oh stop panicking! I was only joking, Mary!” Verde said.
“I wasn’t,” Elsie said, “you just make sure he knows game days are Lady’s day out. Lay it out right from the beginning!”
“I’m going to lay out, alright. I will tell the man that I’m taking him home, but it doesn’t mean a thing. Well, it means we are friends, but I like my life how it is. I don’t need to tangle it up with a man.”
“Little does she know,” Verde said in Elsie’s direction. “Getting tangled up with a man is exactly what she needs!”
“Yes, but she will have to go easy on that one. He has a heart condition,” Elsie replied blankly.
“Stop it! You’ve got me so worked up that I can’t even breathe.”
“That’s what he said,” Elsie said. Verde kept her eyes on the road and threw her hand up to Elsie for a high five. Elsie smacked it, and they both roared.
“Very funny!” Mary pouted. “Pull over and let me out.”
“You just calm down back there,” Verde insisted. “You know we don’t mean anything by it. You have to give us girls a thrill once in a while. Life gets a little dull for us old married ladies.”
“Yeah, Verde just got out of a twenty year dry spell,” Elsie said.
“Oh stop with that! I told you it wasn’t twenty years! It’d just been awhile since things were good that way. Mary won’t have to worry about that,” Verde said.
“Nope,” Elsie added, “they are starting late in life. They will still be in the honeymoon phase when they die,” Verde and Elsie roared again.
“Oh Lord!” Mary said, “I’m back here sweating! You are making this so hard for me!”
“That's what she said,” Elsie snickered. Verde threw her another high five.
“What in heaven’s name is the matter with you two,” Mary said. “I can’t say a word without you two dirty minded sinners up there making fun of me.”
26
The smell of fresh paint caught Bill off guard as he walked into the shop. Eddie and Joey were standing in front of the long wall beside the wood bins.
“Eddie! Joey! What are you two doing?”
The boys had sprayed a message: ‘Our man Kevin never made it to heaven, he is here—and forever near’. Several messages had been left on the wall over the years, but it had been a long time since anyone had painted on it.
“Eddie thought it would be a good idea to put a little tribute to Kevin on the wall,” Joey said.
Joey glared at Eddie. It was obvious that he didn’t appreciate the blame.
“Did he?” Bill asked nodding his head. “Did he think it would be a good idea to shoot off spray paint in an enclosed space without so much as opening a window or the shop doors? We have singers coming through here in less than ten minutes! Unless you want to lose your jobs, you will get that door open and turn on a fan. Then get out a can of odorless paint and get rid of that ridiculous “tribute” before anybody else arrives!”
“Yes sir,” Eddie said.
Bill continued out to the stage and plugged in the board. It didn’t respond. He checked all the connections but nothing worked. Liz walked on the stage and suddenly the lights flickered.
“For crying out loud!�
�� he called into the air.
“Bill?” Liz called back.
“Sorry, I didn’t mean that for you. This darn board is acting up again!” he hollered to her.
“Are we meeting today?” she asked.
“If it was up to me, we’d all be home watching the game today! I haven’t heard from Diane, yet. I will assume that means, no. Liz, do you remember Jordan Medina?” The board flickered again. “Darn It!” Bill said under his breath. Liz didn’t hear him complain or realize that he hadn’t caused the lights to flicker.
“I do,” she said.
“Do you have any idea where he is? Do you know what he is up to?” The lights continued to flicker.
“No,” she answered, “but I’m sure I can find out.”
“Would you try? I’d like to ask him a favor.”
“You want him to look into the electrical problem we’ve been having?” she asked.
“Yes,” Bill said, “something like that.”
“Try a psychic,” she said to herself.
“What?” Bill called.
“I said, I’ll look him up on Facebook.”
“Thanks,” he answered. “If you don’t mind, ask him if he would do us a favor and drop by.”
“Okay,” Liz said.
When Diane arrived, twenty minutes later, Gary had the actors working on a line readings and the crew was in the shop with Bill.
“Thank you everyone for being here. Today we are going to do what we call a speed through. I realize that some of you may not know what that is.”
Liz looked around the room. The actors were all professionals. They knew what a speed through was. No one said anything.
“A speed through is when the actors say all of the lines of the play and carry out the blocking as quickly as possible. Can anyone tell me why we do speed through rehearsals and how it helps the actors?”
There was a general shift in the body language of the cast. It was unnecessary to tell the actors how to do a speed through, but it was patronizing to ask the question. No one raised their hand. Every one of them knew the answer.
“The speed through is—” she started but Damion interrupted.
“—is so we can hurry and get the heck out of here before anything drops on our heads or hovers over us in the dark backstage.” A ripple of snickers ran through the cast. “I’m just being for real, yawl,” he said.
“Do you want to give us a real answer, Damion?” Her voice was stern.
He didn’t shift his attitude. “You say your lines as fast as you can and keep moving so the ghost man can do his thing after you leave! No disrespect, Mr. Ghostman, no disrespect,” he said. The cast burst into laughter. Diane kept her focus on the stage floor.
“I think you are very talented, Damion and I’d love to have you back for future shows here at the Star Bright. If you think that your superstitions are going to get in the way of your concentration and performance—”
“Well, now there, Ms. Diane, since you put it that way. The answer would be more like, actors use the speed through to rediscover the rhythms of the dialogue. It also serves to expose those who may not know the show as well as they think they do.” As he finished speaking, there was a loud thud backstage. The cast gasped and Damion’s voice rose in pitch and speed, “and it gets us the Hell out of here, quickly!”
“My bad!” they heard from behind the curtains. Eddie stuck his head out, “Sorry, guys. That was me. I was getting the broom and I fell over the um—thingy, sorry.” He disappeared back into the curtains. Everyone laughed hysterically except Damion.
“The thingy? What thingy?” Damion asked through the continued laughter.
“Okay, bring it back,” Diane said. “It is going to be a long and grueling day. Let’s all focus on the show.” The lights flickered. There was a general pause and mumble in the group. “Bill has warned us that this is part of the problem we are having with our light board. No more distractions, please. Let’s go to places.” The cast hesitated. “Places!” Diane called with authority. Everyone scattered from the stage except Damion. “Damion?”
“Do I have to enter from backstage Ms. Diane? Maybe I could just be on stage when the curtain opens.” Diane stared at him with a blank expression. He backed up slowly, “No? Okay. I’ll just—”He disappeared into the curtains and immediately let out an enormous scream. “OH MY LORD, WOMAN!” He pushed his head through curtain, “My bad. Sorry! I didn’t know Josie was standing in the wing.”
“Damion!” Diane shouted.
“Yes, yes. I’m going. Sorry!” he said as he disappeared again.
27
Mary walked into Clifford’s room. Elsie and Verde followed close behind.
“Good morning!” Clifford said. “Boy, am I happy to see you girls. Please get me the hell out of here.”
Mary turned to Verde and Elsie, “I guess his medications have worn off.”
“How can you tell?” Elsie asked.
“He is not worried about Jesus hearing him swear,” Mary replied.
“He is much better, you can see it in his eyes,” Verde suggested.
“Yes, I think his eyes look much clearer,” Mary said.
“He’s not hooked up to any machines either,” Elsie added.
“Ladies! I am right here!” he shook his head with a grin.
“Good morning, Captain,” Mary said.
“Captain—” Verde and Elsie nodded to him.
“How did you sleep?” Mary asked.
“Not a wink. I can’t wait to get a full night’s rest in my own bed!” he said.
“Are you ready?” Mary asked. “Verde can bring the car around the front.”
“I’m ready, but now they are telling me something about a CAT scan on my brain.”
“A CAT scan?” Mary said, “You are going home today.”
“That is what I keep telling them, but after I talked to that fool of a psychiatrist, he ordered a CAT scan. Mary, look at me.” He gestured with his hand to call her closer. His voice was low and serious, “I’m not crazy! Don’t let them treat me like this. I’m ready to go home now. I wasn’t looking to be busted out of here before but this is serious now! We have to go!”
“Don’t worry,” she looked at the girls, “we will get you home! They can’t order you a CAT scan just because you’ve been talking to Jesus!”
“They said the medications should have worn off by now, but Mary I am telling you just like I told that doctor, the medications have had nothing to do with it. I saw what I saw and that is that.”
“Do you still see Kevin?” she asked. Clifford looked to the corner of the room and bit his lips together.
“Oh boy, did you tell the doctor that?” Mary asked.
“Of course I did. I made a promise to Jesus. I didn’t want to tell a lie.”
“I just heard you swear.”
“I think I’ve got permission to swear. They are harmless words and I’m frustrated.”
“I see,” Mary looked at Verde. “Did you tell Dr. Elvena that you don’t want the test?”
“I haven’t seen Dr. Elvena today,” he said.
“They just want to take advantage of his insurance! He doesn’t need a CAT scan. He needs his own bed and a good night’s rest. That’s all he needs,” Verde said.
“He might need a decent hot meal too,” Elsie added.
“I have a good meal planned for him,” Mary said.
“I think he is just fine. Let’s take him!” Verde insisted.
“Oh, we are taking him!” Mary nodded.
“Ladies, you are my Angels on earth, but please don’t talk past me. It makes me question if I am alive.” Clifford whined.
“Verde, go get the car,” Mary said. “Clifford, Elsie and I are going to step outside—you put your pants on.”
Verde headed toward the elevators and Mary and Elsie walked to the nurse station.
“We are picking up Clifford Brown today,” Mary said to the nurse behind the counter.”
“Cl
ifford Brown?” the nurse repeated without looking up. She reached across the counter for a chart and shuffled through a folder. “I’m not sure what time he’ll be scheduled to leave, but I can have Dr. Molinsky stop by the room and give you an idea.”
“Dr. Molinsky? What happened to Dr. Elvena?”
“Dr. Molinsky is here today. Dr. Elvena won’t be back until tomorrow.” She continued to look at the papers. “Actually, they haven’t scheduled his release yet.”
“Well, they need to schedule it because he is ready to go.”
She reached for another paper. “It looks like they’re waiting on test results before they can start the paperwork.”
“They’ll have to do the paperwork without the test results.”
“They can’t do anything without the results,” the woman explained.
“I don’t’ think you understand me. The man is in there putting his pants on!”
She punched at her keyboard and read the screen, “He has a CAT scan ordered for two o’clock this afternoon. It will probably be much later in the day before they release him.”
“Well he doesn’t want the CAT scan, thank you anyway. You will have to tell the Doctor that he left. We are taking him home.”
“You can’t just take him home. He has to be properly discharged.”
“Then properly discharge him. I’m taking him home.”
“It doesn’t work like that,” the nurse said.
“Well how does it work? The man wants to go home. Is this a prison or a hospital?” Elsie piped in. Mary nodded at her and looked at the nurse.
“There are procedures to follow. As I’ve mentioned, a CAT scan has been ordered for Mr. Brown this afternoon.”
“As I’ve mentioned, Mr. Brown doesn’t want the CAT scan this afternoon,” Mary insisted.
“Ma’am, Mr. Brown needs to complete the procedure before he can be released.”
“Let me ask you something, young lady. Is Mr. Brown the one who is paying for this procedure?” The woman looked at her blankly. Mary slowed down her speech, “Let me put it to you this way, suppose you go to the grocery store and you pick out the items that you want to purchase. What if there are lovely tomatoes there, but you have no interest in buying the tomatoes? What do you do?” The woman looked even more confused. Elsie raised her hand sarcastically. Mary nodded at her.
The False Exit Page 13