Sean didn’t like the sound of that. “And you are willing to risk that?”
“I am.”
“I told you that ap Bedo can summon thousands.”
Kevin nodded in resignation. “I know,” he said. “But I am still not going to release Juliandra.”
“How does she feel about ap Gruffudd? Does she wish to go to him?”
Kevin shook his head. “She cannot stomach the man.”
Sean glanced at Alexander. In their opinion, Kevin was in trouble, but not the way Kevin felt he was. The trouble was really with the local warlords if they decided to mobilize against him, which was a distinct possibility now that a woman was involved.
It seemed that Lady Juliandra was the key to a great many things with Kevin.
“It makes for a complex situation, to be sure,” Sean finally said, trying not to sound too judgmental. “I think it is something we should explore further. But at the moment, you seem more concerned with the lie you’ve told the lady, so let us address that first. Kevin, it seems to me that you only have a couple of choices – either tell her the truth now and deal with the resulting response, or do not tell her at all and simply let it go on until such time as you can no longer withhold the truth. Where is her father, by the way?”
“In the vault below the keep,” Kevin said. “It is quite cold down there, so we have stored his body.”
“And you are just going to leave him there?”
“I am not going to bury him. That is Juliandra’s privilege.”
That wasn’t something Sean particularly agreed with, but he remained silent. There were great complexities going on, enough to burden even the strongest of men. Being that this was Kevin’s first real command, the stress must have been tremendous and Sean didn’t want to pile on to that. He wanted to help his brother figure it out. As he mulled over the situation, Alexander spoke.
“Kevin,” he said quietly. “Forgive me for speaking out of turn, but I feel I must say what is on my mind. A command is not for everyone, you know. There is no shame in that. I recall that you were reluctant to take command of the Trilaterals and now you have a Welsh property that is volatile. It is very possible that Wybren cannot be governed by an English commander at all. It has been in Welsh hands for a very long time and it would probably be a great relief to turn it back over to the Welsh. If the burden of command is too great for you, Sean can send knights to command the garrisons of the Trilaterals and you can return to London and to The Marshal and forget about this mess. I realize there is a lady involved, but returning to London would put you back into a position you are familiar and confident with. Mayhap you would be happier.”
Kevin was shaking his head before Alexander even finished. “I am never going back to serve William Marshal as a spy,” he said. “I will always support him, but at a distance. That part of my life is finished.”
Alexander apparently knew nothing about that because he looked rather puzzled as Sean cast him a quelling glance. Sean, in fact, knew what Kevin was speaking of. He’d heard it before, when he was healing from his near-mortal wounds. It was a subject he wasn’t sure he wanted to readdress, not now.
“You have always been an integral part of The Marshal’s stable, Kevin,” Sean said softly. “You did not need to resign your position with him. He told you to think about it.”
“I know,” Kevin said, tensing. “He told me to think about it and I did. I told you this before, Sean – I cannot serve a man who would so willingly allow his greatest knights to be put in such grave danger as you were. For nine bloody years, you risked your life and, in the end, it very nearly cost you that. You were betrayed by those you trusted.”
“It was my duty, Kevin.”
“Your duty nearly killed you!”
They were getting into the same old argument, something they’d argued over since Sean had accepted the mission as the king’s bodyguard. Sean and Kevin went for years without speaking to one another because Kevin didn’t agree with what Sean had done, and it was only over the past few years that they had reconciled.
Sean didn’t want to get into the same old conflict.
“Kevin, it is over and done with,” he said, more firmly. “Berating me is not going to wipe away the past, so let us not go into it again. I know you feel as if I was betrayed, but I assure you, it was not intentional. You did not have to resign because you were disillusioned.”
“I was not disillusioned.”
“You have been hiding up here on the Marches since that battle at the Tower of London.”
That was a true statement, whether or not Kevin wanted to admit it. His gaze lingered on his brother before looking to Alexander, who had much the same opinion that Sean had – Kevin had been hiding since that battle.
That only made Kevin feel worse.
“You two think alike,” he muttered. “You are both older than I am, and you have seen more life and death situations than I have. You have lived through them, right or wrong. I am not like either of you. I never fit into the Executioner Knights and I know that. All I wanted to do was serve my country, but I was never truly a part of The Marshal’s agents. I was… different.”
“You were balance,” Sean said softly, with sympathy. “Every group needs balance, Kevin. You were our balance, ensuring we never got too consumed with the darkness that was so readily around us. We need you.”
Kevin sighed heavily and lowered his head again. “I was the fool,” he said. “I was judging men when it was not my place to do so. I was trying to fight a clean and virtuous war while the rest of you were fighting in the filth. We had two different ideas on how service should be accomplished. But I still do not want to go back to The Marshal. I want to remain here. I want to establish my command at Wybren and I want to be a wise and benevolent lord.”
Sean’s gaze lingered on his brother, but there was warmth in his expression. Kevin had always been stubborn and determined, the little brother who was so loyal and true.
He still believed there was good left in the world.
“You will be,” he said. “You already are. And even if you no longer wish to serve The Marshal, you are still an Executioner Knight. Once an Executioner Knight, always an Executioner Knight. We will still kill and die for you, Kevin. And I know you would do the same for any one of us. Semper frater, as we say. Always a brother.”
Kevin nodded. “It is true,” he said. “If any one of you call me, I will answer. I would not even ask why. I would simply come.”
“I know,” Sean said. “So, even though you are sequestered here on the Marches, do not think that you can get away from us. You cannot. But let us refocus on your issue with this Lady Juliandra – have you thought about what you want to do about the situation? We have given you suggestions, but you may already have a solution.”
Kevin shrugged. “Bannon told me that I should tell the lady that her father unexpectedly passed away, making is sound as if he succumbed to a natural death while in my custody,” he said. “It would be another lie, of course, but it would explain his death and not make me the cause of it.”
“And she would not know that you lied to her in the first place.”
“Exactly.”
Sean looked at Alexander, who shrugged. “It is as good a plan as any,” Sean said. “But you should probably do it soon before someone discovers her father’s body in the vault and tells her.”
“Bannon and I have just discussed that very thing.”
“But it still does not solve the issue of your feelings for the lady.”
Kevin looked at his brother. After a moment, he smiled weakly. “Nay, it does not,” he said. “But I would like you to meet her. Mayhap then you can understand why I feel what I feel, and why I do not want her to know that I lied to her in the first place.”
Sean stood up from his chair, wearily. “Then let me meet this young woman,” he said. “I am eager to see what kind of taste you have in women.”
Kevin’s smile grew. “Excellent, of course
.”
“We shall see,” Sean said. “Lead the way, little brother.”
Kevin took them back down the narrow stairs with the low beams, listening to them hiss and curse all the way down.
CHAPTER FOURTEEN
She’s a beauty.
That was Sean’s first thought when he met the very lovely and gracious Juliandra ferch Gethin. She was in the great hall when they returned, serving the knights and carrying on what seemed to be a witty conversation with Gareth. Sean watched for a moment. He knew Gareth and the man wasn’t a great orator. He didn’t even like conversation.
But Juliandra seemed to have drawn it out of him.
She was exceedingly kind and attentive to Sean and Alexander upon introductions, and that carried over to Kevin, who couldn’t take his eyes from her. In that moment, Sean could see that his brother was far gone in his infatuation with the woman. He might even already be in love with her. There was something about the woman that made men respond to her, and Kevin most of all.
Now, Sean was coming to understand why Kevin said he was in trouble.
Aye… he understood completely.
They took their seats around the table as Juliandra had more food brought forth. She made sure every guest had exactly what he needed. Sean found himself watching her with great interest because observing people was his business. His good judgment of a man’s character is what had kept him alive during his years with John, so he watched the small things with Juliandra – mostly, how she dealt with English servants. She was polite but firm, and surprisingly respectful.
To him, that said a good deal about the woman and her character. He didn’t sense any airs about her. When the flurry of their arrival faded and the men settled down to the refreshments provided, Sean made a point of speaking to her.
“My brother tells me that your father is a merchant, my lady,” he said.
Juliandra looked up from pouring more pear cider into Bannon’s cup. “He is, my lord,” she said. “He and his father before him.”
“How did your grandfather come by such a profession?”
Juliandra set the pitcher down. “My grandfather was very pious even if my father is not,” she said. “He thought he might become a priest, but when the church announced the second crusade to Anatolia, he thought he should fight for the church instead. He spent three years with the Saxon armies but, in the end, he realized he was not a warrior. He did, however, have an eye for fine things and brought many exotic items back to Pool, where his family lived. And that is how he began as a merchant.”
Sean nodded. “The fields of battle are not for every man,” he said. “I was with Richard in Acre, as were many of my friends and colleagues, and I can say for certain that there is nothing more difficult. It takes a man with a strong stomach.”
Juliandra was interested. “You went to The Levant?”
“I did,” he said. He gestured to Alexander. “So did Sherry.”
Alexander, his mouth full of buttered bread, nodded. “The hardships were many, the rewards few.”
Juliandra realized she was in the presence of two of Richard’s Crusaders. “I’ve never met anyone who went to The Levant with Richard,” she said. “Were the armies of Saladin so great and terrible? I have heard the men were animals, an abomination to God.”
Sean shook his head. “They were men, like us,” he said. “But Salah ah-din was not the barbarian the church would have you believe. He was a great general, in fact.”
He said the Muslim commander’s name the way the Arabs pronounced it, with the inflection of their language. Juliandra cocked her head curiously.
“Great?”
“Richard did not win the war, did he?”
Juliandra blinked at the blunt statement. “I suppose not,” she said. “You must forgive my foolish questions. I have heard men speak on Richard’s quest and they have spoken of the greatness of the Christian armies. That is all I have ever heard.”
Sean had no great opinion of his time in The Levant. No one he knew who had been there did. It had all been a great waste of life as far as he was concerned, though he emerged from it with lifelong friends and an appreciation of honorable men. He realized that people who had not been in the midst of the hellish event had no concept of just how terrible it had been, for everyone.
“I know,” he said. “But take it from someone who was there – it was not a glorious quest. It was an expensive lesson in futility. But let us speak of something more pleasant – tell me of your lineage. Where did your family come from?”
“North, near Anglesey,” she said. “My grandfather settled near Pool because my grandmother was from the village.”
“I see,” Sean said, simply making polite conversation. “Then you have lived here your entire life.”
“I have, my lord.”
Sean took a drink of the potent cider and nearly choked when he realized just how strong it was. “You set a fine table, my lady,” he said, his voice a little strained as he tried not to cough. “Thank you for assisting my brother as you have. It has meant a great deal to him.”
Kevin took his eyes off of Juliandra long enough to look at his brother with some horror. He thought it sounded as if Sean were telling Juliandra that she meant a great deal to him in general and Sean caught his expression. He hastened to clarify.
“What I mean to say is that the Welsh aren’t exactly welcoming to the English,” he said. “You have been an exception to that rule and we are grateful.”
Juliandra seemed uncertain about his praise, perhaps wondering if the man knew why she was really here. She didn’t want to explain the origins of her presence because she thought that might upset Kevin and she didn’t want to do anything to upset him.
Just the opposite, in fact.
She was trying her best to impress him, to make him happy, and to charm his visitors. It was the first time she had seen him since fainting in his arms the night before when he’d killed a man who had molested her. When she’d awoken this morning, her last memories hadn’t been of a smelly man grabbing her and Kevin snapping the man’s neck.
They had been, in fact, of Kevin himself.
Her white and shining knight.
The fact that he’d killed a man wasn’t an issue to her. He’d killed not because of her, but for her. He’d killed a man who had taken liberties and he’d done it to protect her. She knew that.
It had been a most monumental night.
The entire evening had been something to remember, memories and reflections that she would take with her for the rest of her life. It had all started with the meal, something so simple, yet something so profound. It hadn’t been the food itself that had been memorable, or even the minstrels that had played such beautiful music. The most memorable part of all had been the conversation between her and Kevin because they had discussed so many things, coming to know one another, and one of the most prevalent topics of that conversation had been that of marriage.
To be perfectly honest, Juliandra wasn’t certain that Kevin hadn’t actually proposed to her last night. He had spoken of marriage, he had even spoken of a marriage between them, and she was more than happy to entertain the idea. Thoughts of her father’s reluctance to such a union had fallen by the wayside as she was happily caught up in the fantasy marriage between her and the English knight.
It had all seemed so natural.
Natural in the sense that she was quite willing to agree to it because she could envision herself as Kevin’s wife, attending to his needs, bearing his children, and being a helpmate and a partner. In spite of the fact that she was virtually a hostage at Wybren, she really didn’t feel like that.
The more time passed, the more she felt like she belonged here, and greeting Kevin’s brother and guests today had seemed completely normal and natural. She realized that it was something she very much wanted to continue doing, and the thought of somebody else being at Kevin’s side as his wife and companion made her feel sad and disappointed. The more she tho
ught on it, the more she realized that another woman at Kevin’s side would drive her towards the edge of despondency. She was happy now, as happy as she’d ever been.
She wasn’t going to let her father take that away from her.
Right now, at this moment, she was enjoying speaking with Kevin’s powerful brother and she was enjoying feeling like she was a part of something. She had never in her life felt as if she were a part of something. It was as if she were part of a larger family and she liked feeling that she belonged.
But more than that, she liked the feeling of belonging to Kevin.
She was living in a fool’s dream and she didn’t even care.
“It has been my pleasure, my lord,” she said after a moment, her gaze moving to Kevin. “My time spent at Wybren has been quite pleasant. I have no complaints. Your brother has been very gracious and accommodating.”
Kevin smiled faintly at her and Juliandra’s heart leapt. It was a smile meant only for her, even though they both knew she wasn’t here voluntarily. She was here because he demanded it of her, and now they were both acting like her presence here was by mutual agreement. Perhaps it had not been in the beginning, but that had since changed and Juliandra struggled not to feel guilty for it.
She had come here for a purpose and that purpose had been to free her father. To accomplish this, she had decided to be very sweet and accommodating and helpful, hoping that would soften Kevin’s heart so that he would release her father quickly. It took Juliandra a moment to realize that her attempts to charm and soften Kevin had the opposite effect because she had actually enjoyed it. She had enjoyed it so much that she didn’t want to leave it.
Juliandra couldn’t think about what that would mean once her father was released. Her father would want her to go home with him and that was not what she wanted. The longer her father remained Kevin’s captive, the longer she could stay with him. It all seemed quite complicated and twisted. For the first time in her life, she was not only being disobedient, she was being selfish when she knew her only goal should have been the release of her father.
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