Rey blinked back at me, almost like she was a little afraid.
And for good reason.
“We get to dance together,” I said with a wide smile.
I definitely didn’t plan on spending the entire night alone sitting somewhere watching everyone else having fun.
Rey looked like she wasn’t sure about the whole idea, but she totally said, “Okay,” anyway.
I gave her a side hug, loving her for saying she’d stick with me tonight.
Nothing like a good friend to help you get through a dateless Homecoming.
When we got to the dance, the first thing I did was search for Ian, wondering if he even decided to come tonight.
Was he like me, determined to have a good time? Or at home, watching mindless TV and pretending Homecoming didn’t exist?
About twenty minutes in, I spotted him with a group of guys from the soccer team. Looked like he wasn’t the only one on his own tonight.
I breathed a sigh of relief, and I realized it was because he was alone.
Bethany was nowhere in sight.
And it would be a great night if I didn’t see her.
But, of course, that was too good to be true.
A few songs later, I almost ran into her in the bathroom.
Our gazes met for a split second, and then I left. No way was I going to give her another second of my attention.
I went back to the dance floor and continued dancing with Rey, whose sugar rush from the cookies and punch meant she could finally keep up with me. For the most part.
We jumped and screamed and moved our hips back and forth to the music. I shut my eyes, trying to forget the past couple weeks, the disappointment, the hurt, in both sports and love.
For a few minutes, it almost worked.
Then the song ended, and I opened my eyes, and it all came back.
I exhaled and turned to Rey. “I’m gonna go grab some more punch, okay?”
She nodded. “I need a break anyway. Talk about sugar crash.”
She stumbled off to the bleachers to sit, pulling a journal out of her bag, and I went off in search of hydration.
I found the punch table, picked up a cup and the ladle, and began pouring.
After I took a few sips, I put the cup down and wiped the drops of sweat on my forehead with a napkin. Despite it still being pretty early, the dance was going strong, with hardly any room left on the floor. Turning to walk back to our spot on the bleachers, I thought maybe I could convince Rey to join me for another dance. If I could get the girl to put down her journal for a minute.
I pushed through the crowd, mostly couples, searching for Rey on the other side of the gym.
The entire place was dark, the flashing lights making it harder to find my friends.
Then my eyes landed on a familiar face. Ian, dancing with someone. Her back was to me, but I recognized her red dress in an instant.
Bethany.
They moved back and forth just a few feet away, his hands around her waist.
The lights flashed again.
I tried to read the expression on his face, but it was too dark.
Then Bethany pushed up on her toes, reaching for him. I shook my head, refusing to believe what I was seeing. But how could I not, when it was happening right in front of me?
Meanwhile, the world went on spinning, people continued dancing, and the music kept playing.
Inside me, my heart broke into pieces. Worse than any soccer game I’d ever lost.
I turned away, knowing I had to get far away. Still searching for my friends in the crowd, I wondered if I should just go. Then Ian’s gaze stopped on me. He took a step around Bethany and toward me. I took one back, stumbling into someone.
Then I ran.
* * *
I wasn’t sure what I would have done without the #BFFs.
After I texted an SOS to Rey, she found me in the parking lot, sitting on the sidewalk next to her car and hidden from view.
Maybe Ian had come after me. Maybe not. But I did not want to see him right now. Not with mascara and the rest of my makeup streaming down my face.
Then Tori, Ella, and Harper were there too, leaning down next to me, and all I could think about was that thank goodness the boys weren’t with them because they did not need to see me looking like a crying make-up monster.
They helped me into Rey’s car.
Tori opened the back passenger door, Ella and Harper right behind her, to get in the back, and I shook my head, turning toward them. I wiped at my face with a tissue. “Guys, no, please. Go back in there and find your dates. I’ll be fine.”
Harper bit her lip.
Tori said softly, “You don’t look fine.”
Ella handed me another tissue. “We just want to make sure you’re okay.”
Harper nodded. “Let us go with you. We’ll hang out. You’ll feel better.”
I shook my head and attempted to smile. “I feel better already. I just want to go home. Please, don’t give up the rest of your night for me. I’ll just feel worse.”
Tori sighed. “I don’t know…”
“Please, you guys,” I said. “We can meet up later or something.”
They looked at one another.
Rey spoke up from the driver’s seat. “I’ll stay with her, and we can meet up later at my house. Just text me.”
I didn’t love the idea of Rey giving up her Homecoming night either, but part of me was also glad she was.
Finally convinced, the rest of the #BFFs gave me one last hug and promised they’d be at Rey’s house soon, armed with my favorite snacks.
The entire way home, quiet tears ran down my face and I stared out the window, wondering just how this night had turned into a disaster so quickly.
How could I have been so dumb? Obviously, Ian still had feelings for Bethany. I mean, what did I expect? For him to get over her, just like that?
Maybe that happened in the movies. Not in real life.
And it was my fault for thinking my life was a movie with the perfect happily ever after.
I wiped at the tears running down my face.
Life didn’t work like that.
Twenty-One
Homecoming was far from over when Rey and I left so I didn’t expect the rest of the girls to show up anytime soon.
But that was okay. Rey and I went back to her house. Her mom took one look at us and said I was welcome as long as I wanted.
We went upstairs, and I slipped off my shoes and crawled into Rey’s bed. She dragged her desk chair over to the bed and kept her hand on my shoulder the whole time.
She didn’t have a TV in her room like I did, but I just wanted to lay there anyway.
Within a few minutes, there was a soft knock at the door.
“Come in,” Rey called.
I turned around too, wiping at my eyes.
It was Rey’s mom, a small tray in her hands. There were two cups of something still steaming plus some cookies and fruit. She set the tray down on Rey’s desk and turned to us. “Just thought I’d bring you guys tea and a snack.”
I sat up and wiped at my nose. “Thanks, Mrs. Hart.”
She gave me a press-lipped smile. “Are you sure you’re okay, hon?” She took a few steps toward us, her face etched with lines of worry.
I nodded. “I’ll be okay. Thank you for the tea.”
It was silent for a second, and she looked like she was deciding if she should ask me what was wrong.
Thankfully, Rey stepped in and said, “It’s okay, Mom. Just guy stuff. Nothing serious, I promise.”
Rey’s mom didn’t look totally convinced that she should leave us alone, but she did. “Okay,” she said, turning to Rey, “Your father and I are off to bed, but wake me if you need anything, okay? Knock and let me know when the girls go home?”
Rey nodded, and she left, gently closing the door behind her.
I lay back down, pulling the covers up. “Your mom’s nice.”
Rey stood up. “You
want something more comfortable to wear?”
A few minutes later, I was in a long night shirt. We both sat on her bed eating cookies and drinking tea.
Rey held her cup and reached for another cookie. “My mom says a warm drink always makes things better.”
I smiled. “She’s right.” The hot liquid warmed me down to my toes, and I felt calmer than before. “My mom loves her teas too, but I never tried them before. This is actually pretty good, though.”
I took another sip, my thoughts wandering back to that image of Bethany and Ian at the dance.
My heart breaking.
Even Coach’s words to me. Tonight was your chance, and to be frank with you, I’m not sure there will be another one.”
Tears flooded my eyes again, and I wished I could erase that both of those things from my mind.
Rey squeezed my hand. “Want to go downstairs and watch a movie?”
I nodded, needing the distraction, and we headed downstairs.
I insisted on a rom-com, but within minutes, my head was on her shoulder and I sniffled, the tears coming back and needing to let it all out.
Thankfully, Rey was the perfect listener. “I mean, it was one thing for us not to go to Homecoming together. But to end up with her? It’s like he just didn’t care about me at all, you know?”
Rey said, “Yeah,” and I kept going.
“He wasn’t just someone I ended up having feelings for. He was my best friend. But now it’s like all of that is gone for good. I don’t see how we could still be friends after all of this.”
That’s when the waterworks started again, at the thought of not hanging out with Ian anymore. And it wouldn’t be easy because we had the rest of the soccer season to go.
Every time I saw him, pain would flash inside me.
And then I thought of graduation and going our separate ways, and that made me cry even more.
Rey had her arm around me, and she hugged me tight. “I’m really sorry, Lena. But I hope he’ll at least talk to you about it and apologize. You never know. Maybe it’ll work out.”
I thought about that, supposing maybe there was a chance. Hoping there still was a chance but not seeing how. What I’d seen had been pretty clear.
And while the thought of losing Ian as a friend was what hurt the most, I wasn’t sure I could get past this.
The both of us sat there, with Rey’s arm around me. I wiped at my nose and my eyes, but the tears came anyway.
The sound of the front door opening and then voices broke the silence.
Two guys walked in, stopping at the sight of us.
The one with a pizza box in his hands said, “Oh, uh, sorry. We’ll hang out at Wes’s house instead.” With a small wave, they were gone as quickly as they’d arrived.
“Sorry,” Rey said. “That was my brother Hugo and his friend Wes. He lives next door,” she finished quietly.
I sat up. “Is he…?”
She nodded, turning a faint shade of pink.
I smiled, glancing to where they’d just been a second before. “He’s cute,” I teased.
We went back to watching the movie, but before it was halfway over, several soft knocks came at the door.
Rey checked who it was through the curtains, but sure enough, it was the #BFFs.
They were still in their dresses, but as promised, they’d brought tons of snacks to get us through our last-minute pity party.
Harper gave me a hug, then Tori and Ella.
We stood in a small circle, and I was glad more than ever that I had them. “How was the rest of Homecoming?” I asked casually but also wondering about Ian.
Harper took my hand. “It was okay. Not the same without you two.”
Tori smiled. “What’s a dance without Lena to out-dance everyone there?”
We giggled, and I knew it was true. That was something else that made me sad: missing out on all that dancing.
Harper became serious again. “Ian was looking for you, you know.”
Tori crossed her arms, and I could tell she was not pro-Ian after what had happened tonight.
But Ella shrugged. “If it makes you feel any better, he and Bethany had some kind of argument and then he left. He seemed pretty upset.”
Harper went on. “Like maybe he was sorry?”
I glanced at Tori. She shook her head a little. “He didn’t have to kiss her.”
The feelings from that moment, from seeing Bethany and Ian kiss, came flooding back. So did the tears.
That was the thing about kissing someone for real. The risk of getting hurt was real too.
Why did I think it wouldn’t happen to me?
* * *
As far as I was concerned, the entire dare was now off.
My friendship with Ian was probably done too. Along with my chances of being recruited.
Either way, I needed time away from him to think and let my heart mend.
Unfortunately, Ian was relentless.
It was the reason he’d gone from permanently stuck on the bench to one of the top goalies in the state.
I just wished he’d do what I was doing and give me the cold shoulder back for a few days until I could decide how I felt about him.
But when I walked toward my locker on Monday morning, he was already there.
Ignoring his messages all weekend hadn’t been enough of a hint.
Or maybe it’d just pushed him to do this.
He shifted his weight, looking unsure of himself.
I stopped several feet away, debating if I should skip grabbing my books or do my best to ignore him while opening my locker and grabbing my stuff.
Then my mind went back to him kissing Bethany the other night, and the tears were back. I clenched my jaw, willing the tears to stay put instead of spilling over. Shaking my head, I spun around to get away.
I’d barely made it around the corner when he was there, in front of me.
“Lena, just wait. Please. Let me explain.” His eyes pleaded with me. His voice. I hated myself for missing his voice.
I hesitated for a split second, my gaze on the ground. Then… “No,” I said, my voice sure.
When I went around him and kept going, Ian didn’t follow me. I sighed in relief, wiping away a stray tear.
He didn’t try talking to me again the rest of the day, not even at lunch, when we ran into each other as I was leaving the lunch line and he was walking into the cafeteria.
His eyes lingered on me, but he shoved his hands in his pockets and stayed where he was.
For once, I wasn’t looking forward to soccer practice. Things were going to be so awkward with the rest of the guys and girls. I was not looking forward to the weird stares and probing questions.
When I walked into the locker room that afternoon, I was sure they all knew. News about Bethany and Ian at Homecoming had already spread through the school as had our run-in that morning.
Katie and the other girls gave me the same looks of pity I’d encountered the rest of the day. But I was glad when they kept the conversation on other things. And when they didn’t ask me why I wasn’t chatting with them.
Practice couldn’t end fast enough. Time slowed to a crawl, but finally, Coach blew his whistle for the last time.
When I walked out of the locker room, Ian was still there, in the parking lot. He leaned against his car, probably wanting to talk. I took one look at him and headed in the opposite direction to my car.
Part of me felt bad for him, wondering if I should just let him say what he wanted to say.
But we also had our next big game in just three days. That had to be my priority. Soccer was more important than ever, and I had totally cost us our last game.
It wouldn’t happen again, definitely not because of a boy.
More importantly, I had no idea if I’d already wasted my chance at my dream, of seeing how far soccer could take me, but I was going to give it my all anyway.
Maybe after the season was over I could think about talking to Ian.
Or maybe not.
Twenty-Two
Maybe Ian finally got the hint because he left me alone.
Oddly enough, I missed him more than ever.
Normally, I’d be thinking solely about our game the next day, the one we had to win so we could go on to the state championship, but all I could think about was Ian and how our friendship had crumbled.
Talk about big bummer before the game.
But if I did as well as I had been doing at practice, at school, and at home, then I’d play my best game ever. I was counting on it.
During practice, I had channeled all my emotions into soccer, and it had paid off. My shots at the goal were better than ever before. Instead of thinking about Homecoming and Ian, I pushed my muscles to run even harder during sprints. The nods of approval from Coach and the cheers from the rest of the varsity soccer girls were a big motivator.
I’d also ignored the pointed looks the guys gave me and Ian and instead envisioned myself scoring over and over at the game.
Plus I’d avoided Bethany like the plague, in the hallways and everywhere else. I was glad we didn’t have any classes together, but that didn’t stop her from appearing out of nowhere, evil smirk at the ready.
The final straw came when someone literally ran into me and I dropped my books. Of course, she happened to be walking down the hallway at the same exact time. At the sight of my stuff sprawled out everywhere, she laughed.
Glaring at her, I exhaled like an angry bull. Saying something really mean would have been nice, but I also hated the idea of getting in trouble and then benched the next day.
No way would I let Bethany ruin tomorrow’s championship game. Or a second chance with that recruiter.
So I bent down to grab my things. Before I could pick up anything, though, Ian was there, my books in his hands.
He stood up and gave them to me, suddenly way too close. The smell of his cologne had me flashing back to our first date. My heart ached at the images of him picking me up, eating together at the restaurant, then sitting at the park together. And the perfect way he smiled…
Blinking quickly and pushing all of that away, I took my books from him, glancing at Bethany’s now rigid face several feet away. She huffed and finally left, probably angry that Ian had hardly noticed her.
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